Archive of Our Own

So. It was Shi Qingxuan's birthday, otherwise known as their least favorite day of the year. Very bottom of the bottom five, ten, twenty, and hundred worst days of the year, easily, also known as The Day of Sulking, The Day of Don't-Even-Look-At-Me, and Tomorrow-Will-Suck-Less-Probably Eve.

They weren't in the mood to socialize today, was the point. Which was honestly kind of inconvenient, not only because they had instantly made a habit of socializing with other heavenly officials a lot, but because everyone and their grandmother seemed to be prowling the streets today in search of- the Water Master?

This was, apparently, some kind of tradition, if traditions could be only a few years old. Shi Qingxuan could count the number of times they'd directly spoken to He Xuan on one hand; even though he'd ascended just a few short years before they had, he seemed to have no interest in mingling with other, newer officials and was mostly in Ling Wen's office when not attending to his own duties or off being dark and mysterious on his lonesome.

It always stung a little, to be brushed off by someone so brusquely. Adulthood, maturity, godhood, whatever - none of it had cured Shi Qingxuan of that. At the very least, it was easy enough to assume that He Xuan disliked them because he seemed to dislike nearly everyone, and not because of something they had specifically done.

Anyway. People were out and about looking for He Xuan, who was doing a good job of not being found. Shi Qingxuan was trying to mind their own business, really, lest it slip out somehow that today was their birthday and someone tried to make a whole thing of it.

Unfortunately, they still had errands to run, even as a heavenly official. Double unfortunately, there was a crowd in the street they needed to take to get back to their own palace. As far as they could tell, Pei Ming seemed to be at the center of it all, and a sizable portion of the crowd already seemed to be making merry for whatever reason. No thank you.

Shi Qingxuan made a snap decision to turn down a nearby alleyway as a means of circumventing the crowd. They weren't particularly looking where they were going, more concerned with making sure that they hadn't been spotted; if someone had tried to invite them to join in, they were prepared to start running.

And so, while they weren't looking, they ran smack into someone else, who was apparently doing the exact same thing coming from the other direction.

"Oof!"

"Gah!"

Two mingled exclamations of surprise and impact, two figures scrambling back to recover, each looking as startled-rabbit surprised as the other at the fact that other people, you know, existed.

Shi Qingxuan found their voice first, blurting out more loudly than they meant to, "Lord Wat- mmph!"

Because as soon as they began speaking, He Xuan's (Yep! The man of the hour himself!) expression changed from surprised to nearly panicked, and before they could even finish speaking, he slapped a hand over their mouth. Shi Qingxuan was too surprised themselves to resist as He Xuan seemed to dither for a few seconds before dragging them through a distance shortening array without another word.

Their thoughts instantly began to race in confusion, the day's typical melancholy stripped away by this sudden turn of events. What was he doing, sneaking around like that? (Nevermind that they had also been sneaking around like that.) Was he up to something nefarious? Was this some sort of heavenly cultural thing that Shi Qingxuan had never heard about, where He Xuan played a demon or something, and everyone else tried to capture him? Were they now playing the damsel in distress?

Was He Xuan just honest-to-god kidnapping them for unknown reasons?

They'd never been kidnapped before. How exciting!

They emerged from the array into what Shi Qingxuan supposed was He Xuan's palace, though they had never seen the inside for themselves before. A glance around confirmed that it looked much like they would have expected; tasteful, understated, with a mostly neutral color palette that trended towards the dark. Once there, He Xuan quickly released them; still preoccupied with their momentary fancy of being kidnapped, they continued their thoughts out loud.

"But who would you ransom me to?" They mused.

"I- what?" He Xuan looked equally frazzled and perplexed when Shi Qingxuan turned to him.

"Oh, I was just thinking, since you're kidnapping me," they informed him cheerfully. "But I don't know who you could demand a ransom from. I don't think any of the other officials would trade a lot of merits to get me back, since I haven't been here very long."

"What are you- I'm not kidnapping you," He Xuan said, still somewhat out of breath and staring at them like they'd gone insane.

Truthfully, Shi Qingxuan knew that. It had been a passing, silly thought in the first place and one that they only entertained because absolutely nothing else fun was going to happen today. He Xuan looked utterly bewildered, and that was amusing and different enough that Shi Qingxuan chose to keep running with it.

"Sure you are! You've been skulking around all day trying not to be seen, and when I bumped into you, you put your hand over my mouth and dragged me over here! Ooh, are you planning to ravish me now?"

"No!" He Xuan practically recoiled from them in shock. Shi Qingxuan cackled before flinging themselves dramatically over the arm of a nearby sofa.

"Oh, Lord Water Master!" They cried, throwing one arm over their face in a mock faint. "Have mercy on me, for I am but a maiden! What will the heavenly officials say if they find that I've been deflowered by such a-"

"Stop," He Xuan ordered them, positively scandalized."Before someone hears you."

Shi Qingxuan looked back up at him, barely able to contain their laughter. They were delighted to find that though He Xuan was quite good at controlling his expression most of the time, his pale skin could do nothing to hide the bright blush that had flamed over his cheeks at their antics. They had never seen him particularly ruffled, much less as flustered as he was at that moment; the cool, haughty mask of the Lord Water Master was well and truly cracked.

"I am not kidnapping you," He Xuan reiterated once they'd quieted, clearly fighting to maintain an even tone. "You just- surprised me."

"Mhmm." Shi Qingxuan did slide around to sit properly, taking their fan from their sleeve and snapping it open to wave in front of their face as they recovered from their bout of silliness. That had probably been a bit much. He Xuan seemed more surprised and embarrassed than angry, at least. "What were you doing, sneaking around like that, though?"

He Xuan sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. The tension that had held his posture stiff seemed to fade now that Shi Qingxuan had calmed and the initial ruckus had passed. "I was... trying not to let anyone find me and drag me to a birthday celebration," he said, evidently loathe to admit it.

The movement of Shi Qingxuan's fan came to a stop in surprise. "You mean... your birthday?" They pressed him to clarify. It didn't seem likely that anyone in the Heavenly Capitol knew Shi Qingxuan's birthdate; they hadn't shared it with anyone. Though they also couldn't deem it completely out of the question that He Xuan would tell them to their face that he had been hiding in an alleyway because he disliked the thought of going to their birthday party that badly.

They hoped nobody had been plotting a birthday party for them. A big event was the last thing they wanted on this wretched day.

"Yes," He Xuan said, with a long-suffering air. "It's my birthday. Please don't make anything of it."

"I won't," Shi Qingxuan assured him immediately, with a sincerity that he seemed taken aback by. They supposed they couldn't blame him for that. They snapped their fan shut, tapping it against the palm of their hand. "I'm sorry for making fun of you," they added.

"Are you?" He Xuan asked dryly, clearly disbelieving.

Shi Qingxuan grinned playfully at him. "Mostly."

"Mm."

Still smiling, they patted the empty spot on the sofa next to them. "Well since I've interrupted your birthday brooding, come sit and tell me all about your troubles, He-xiong." They addressed him with thoughtless familiarity, perhaps in light of the revelation that there was in fact something which tied them together more closely than one would have thought.

He Xuan's eyebrows rose, but after a moment he took the invitation and sat next to them. He didn't seem in any hurry to follow up on the second part, so Shi Qingxuan took it upon themselves to continue the conversation. That at least was something they were good at.

"Now, who is threatening our dear Water Master so direly with festivities?"

He Xuan looked at them askance, but he did answer. "I believe General Pei started it, though he's gotten others in on it over the last few years, since he has so far been unsuccessful."

Shi Qingxuan laughed a little in spite of themselves. "I'm sorry," they said again. "Just- General Pei? Imagining history's greatest general running around for years trying to throw a birthday party-"

"Yes, yes," He Xuan waved their mirth away. "I'm sure it's very amusing to him too, and that's why he keeps at it. He seems convinced that we are friends."

"Aren't you?" Shi Qingxuan tilted their head at him. "You spend quite a lot of time with him and Ling Wen."

"I spend a lot of time with Ling Wen, doing work," He Xuan corrected. "And General Pei invites himself to be there. I suppose to him, that's socializing."

"I see, I see."  Shi Qingxuan rested their chin on their hand, still amused.

"Why were you sneaking around?" He Xuan turned the initial question back on them, and Shi Qingxuan did have to pause to think over their answer.

"I... didn't really want to socialize with anyone today, either," they said finally, aware that the answer was somewhat evasive. He Xuan gave them a considering look, but seemed unlikely to press; Shi Qingxuan chose to elaborate a bit anyway. It was only fair. "Today's date was an unfortunate one for me in my mortal life, that's all." They gave him a wan smile, aware too that this raised more questions than it answered.

"I see."

"It's nothing to do with you," Shi Qingxuan added, however unlikely it might be that he thought so. "I hope that it doesn't, ah- worsen things."

He Xuan tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, and Shi Qingxuan's eyes were drawn to the way the action made his earring sway, glinting faintly in the light. "I have no strong feelings about the day itself," he said finally. "I simply don't see the point of making a big fuss about it. And I don't care for parties."

Shi Qingxuan had an inkling that there was some deeper meaning there, or at least a reason beyond He Xuan being antisocial, but they'd pried far enough for now. "Well, I can't blame you for skulking around, but haven't you considered going somewhere else entirely? You're much more likely to get caught staying in the capitol."

He Xuan raised an eyebrow at them. "And where would I go?" It might have been a rhetorical question, but Shi Qingxuan chose to take it at face value.

They tapped their fan against their cheek, considering. What sorts of non-birthday things were worth seeing at this time of year? After a few moments of mulling it over, they brightened as inspiration struck.

"Have you ever been to the riverside night market in Suxing?"

"I have not."

Shi Qingxuan clapped and jumped to their feet, brazenly taking He Xuan by the arm to pull him up with them. "Then let's go!"

"What-!?"

"I'm kidnapping you now," they blithely informed him.

He Xuan sputtered, but Shi Qingxuan noted that he didn't actually fight them as they drew up a distance shortening array and pulled him through, descending into the earthly evening.

"You were a merchant, weren't you?" Shi Qingxuan asked.

"Among other things," He Xuan replied.

"A revolutionary," Shi Qingxuan suggested, recalling what they knew of the tale of He Xuan's ascension.

He grimaced. "Not intentionally."

"It seems that just as many officials sort of stumbled into things as intentionally tried," they remarked. He Xuan snorted with derision.

"That's why Heaven is in the state that it is, I think."

Shi Qingxuan shot him a knowing smile. He might complain, but it was known that he went out of his way to take on more work, easing the civil gods' burden just a bit. They brightened when the two of them reached the string of lanterns that marked the official boundary of the marketplace.

The two of them had changed a bit when first arriving in the earthly realm; Shi Qingxuan, now in their feminine form, looped their arm through He Xuan's and pulled him along, weaving through the forming crowd. He Xuan had taken pains to make himself look more mundane, sweeping his hair into a low ponytail and forgoing jewelry; in the low light of evening, he seemed to have changed his face slightly too, softening the sharp edges of his cheekbones and jaw, to make himself a bit more unrecognizable to passers-by.

"Here, look!" They dragged He Xuan over to the first food stall they spotted. A plump, ruddy-cheeked woman enthusiastically waved them over; over the woman's shoulder, he could see a man frying what looked to be chopped vegetables and freshwater prawns in batter. Shi Qingxuan brightly greeted the stall owner and handed over some money without consulting He Xuan, and in short order received two helpings of fresh, piping hot pancakes.

"Try it!" They said, handing one to He Xuan. Any protest he might have had was chased away as soon as the smell hit him, and he bit in without care for how it burned his tongue. "It's delicious, right?"

"Mmph." They were right. He Xuan had only a moment to savor the food before Shi Qingxuan took him by the arm again and dragged him along to the next thing that caught their attention. He had half a mind to tell them not to stop at every food stall that caught their eye, especially if they were intent on paying for everything. At the very least, they weren't asking before paying in his stead, and he'd rather not end up indebted.

He Xuan enjoyed food. He also enjoyed spending money when the mood struck him, and he had lived with the causes and consequences of both of those things by now to realize that he enjoyed them both a bit too much at times.

Everyone had vices. For He Xuan, who remembered the far past days of having nothing more clearly than the days of plenty that had come later, overeating and overspending were sometimes more compulsion than vice. He had a prodigious appetite even normally, except for when he had no appetite at all, and he was decent at managing money until he ended up flat broke. Both things had actually gotten worse since his ascension, now that failing to moderate himself had fewer immediate consequences.

None of that was anything that he wanted trying to explain to Shi Qingxuan as they pulled him enthusiastically along the market street. He'd never really explained it to anyone before outside of his family, preferring to manage without opening up any potential weak spots to near-strangers.

It was just that they had so quickly pivoted to acting like the two of them were old friends that made him feel odd about it.

Eventually, He Xuan was able to steer Shi Qingxuan away from the food stalls, and they instead meandered along the rows of artisan displays. The market seemed to only be growing livelier as evening properly gave way to nighttime, and it was getting to the point where they needed to raise their voices to be heard over the crowd. They separated somewhat, drawn to different things. He Xuan's eye was caught by a jewelry stall, something of a surprise to him in the middle of such a busy common marketplace.

"Here, sir!" The stall's owner noticed him looking and beckoned him over. Caught and not quick enough to disengage, He Xuan bit back a sigh. "Fine jewelry for sale, crafted by our most skilled local jewelers!"

It was rather fine, He Xuan had to admit. He wasn't familiar with this area's artisan crafts, but he had a trained merchant's eye still and could recognize quality. Still, he politely tried to back out. "I don't think-"

The salesman eyed him shrewdly and slid a cloth before him which held a jade pendant in the shape of a bird in flight on a braided string. "It would suit your lady friend quite nicely," he said knowingly.

He Xuan reflexively glanced over his shoulder to where Shi Qingxuan was ooh-ing and aah-ing over a display of painted lanterns and paper masks. He immediately realized his mistake and could only swallow a deeper sigh when he looked back to find the stall owner grinning at him. The worst part was that he was right; it would suit Shi Qingxuan very well.

"How much?" He asked, resigned.

The price was higher than He Xuan would have liked, but not so high that he could definitively say it was unfair for the level of craftsmanship, and he wasn't in the mood to haggle. Was it an equal exchange for the stall food Shi Qingxuan had bought him earlier? Not at all, but they were doing him something of a favor in a roundabout way by dragging him down here where no other officials were likely to find him. That counted for something too, or at least he could convince himself it did. He paid without fuss; the merchant wrapped the pendant up nicely so that He Xuan could store it in his robes for later, smiling broadly at him all the while.

He Xuan made his way back to Shi Qingxuan after making his purchase, studiously not making eye contact with anyone else selling anything. "When you're done browsing, let's find somewhere quiet," he told them over the din of the crowd. They cheerfully agreed, but didn't seem in any particular hurry to wrap up their browsing, so He Xuan was left to survey the ebb and flow of the people around them.

A commotion back near one of the food stalls caught his attention; some sort of altercation seemed to be taking place, though not enough of one to really disrupt the bustling crowd. He Xuan let the press of people moving in that direction carry him a bit closer for a better look.

"Shoo!" A woman was shouting. "Keep yer grubby hands out of my goods!" Wielding a broom, she swatted at two - well, grubby - boys until they fled to the shade of a different stall. Nobody around them paid the scene more than momentary attention; the children were obviously beggars, and this was a common occurrence in such places.

He Xuan had seen it a thousand times before. Impulse drove him forward. The children both looked up in surprise when his shadow fell over them and shrank back, presumably taking him for another merchant ready to chase them off.

"You're being too obvious," he said instead. "Watch this."

There was no sense confronting the stall owner; such people would almost never be convinced. He could do something better. Quickly surveying the nearest stalls, he identified the one with the biggest visible surplus of food combined with enough of a crowd that they were unlikely to notice someone edging up to the side. Stepping through the shadows as casually as possible, as though he had every right in the world to be there, He Xuan did just that. With a deft movement, he swiped a helping of sesame buns from the stall counter as he passed, never pausing. He made a quick round of the next nearest stall without paying it any mind, circling back around to where the beggar children were still crouching, following him with wide eyes.

"Here." He offered the sesame buns. They looked from the food in his hand to his face and back again, hesitating only a moment before snatching it.

"Th-thank you, sir!" One chirped. The other boy immediately stuffed one of the buns into his mouth, belatedly voicing a muffled thanks through the food.

"Run along and stay out of trouble," He Xuan told them shortly. "It's better to come back when the stalls are beginning to close later in the night; people are less attentive then, and there may be surplus." The older boy nodded at him enthusiastically before taking the younger's hand and scampering off into the crowd.

"Can't resist robbing from the rich to give to the poor, eh?"

He Xuan whipped around, startled, to find Shi Qingxuan watching him with a wry smile. They were holding a bag of assorted trinkets; evidently, they'd finished their shopping and come to catch up to him while he was distracted. He felt his cheeks burning, not out of shame for his actions, but the embarrassment of being caught without even noticing them sneaking up. 

"Well, I'm done for now," Shi Qingxuan continued, as though they hadn't just caught him red-handed. They shook their little bag for emphasis. "Shall we find your quiet place?"

They took his arm again, so as not to get separated, and He Xuan somewhat numbly allowed them to lead him along until they cleared the most densely packed part of the marketplace. One path away from it meandered towards a riverside area where some couples and families seemed to be picnicking, enjoying the mild weather before the hour got too late. A few children were racing paper boats from the riverbank, and an older man seated nearby plucked away at a battered pipa. Shi Qingxuan found a place in the grass that wasn't too close to other people and sat, patting the spot next to them in invitation for He Xuan to do the same.

He took the invitation for lack of anything else to do except stand awkwardly over them. It was difficult to tell if the silence that stretched between the two of them for a couple of minutes was as heavy as it felt, or if that was only how He Xuan felt.

"I'm not judging you, if that's what you're thinking," Shi Qingxuan remarked after a while.

"Hn." He had been thinking it, though he wouldn't admit it.

"Not all stories about the gods are true, but some are, right?" They were smiling playfully, but He Xuan didn't share their mirth.

"I'd rather be immortalized as a thief than a revolutionary, if there have to be stories," he said bluntly.

Shi Qingxuan tilted their head. "Can't they be the same thing?"

"I suppose to some people they are - but before I had ballads in my name, I was no folk hero. Only a dirty smuggler."

Shi Qingxuan idly plucked at the grass near their leg. "I suppose it wasn't nearly as glamorous as the stories make it sound."

"There's nothing glamorous about people going hungry."

"...No, I guess not." They looked like they were mulling over whether to say something else, but perhaps thought better of it. He Xuan was more or less ready to accept that he'd killed the conversation when they did speak again. "Is it- would it be terribly awful of me right now to say that I'm interested in hearing your version of the story?"

He Xuan studied them for a long moment. Shi Qingxuan was... difficult for him to form a solid opinion on, in the scant time that he'd known them. On the surface, it had been easy to dismiss them as an empty-headed socialite, but he also knew that they had been a cultivator of some reputation. Which was to say, they had a reputation for actually performing deeds instead of simply boasting. Even this little adventure was hard to pin down; was it a simple flight of fancy for them, or something else?

Shi Qingxuan's face was open and curious as they looked at him now, but was that all there was to it? Was he looking for something deeper that wasn't there?

"I wouldn't think it awful of you," he said finally. "Though I imagine whatever you've heard was much more- romantic. Glamorous, as you said."

Shi Qingxuan's smile returned, and there was something wistful about it that took him off-guard. "I know. That's why I want your version. If you want to tell it, that is."

"I'm willing to tell it, but it's an ugly story without the embellishments." Once again, He Xuan minced no words. Shi Qingxuan didn't shy away even with his assessment of the tale, so he began.

Perhaps as to be expected, he was a brisk, concise storyteller. "I was born in Fu Gu, but my family was forced to leave when I was a young man, due to... circumstances." Shi Qingxuan did notice when He Xuan stepped around a point of detail once again, but didn't push the issue. "We resettled down the coast. I had been unable to gain a position as a scholar, but I was able to secure work as a bookkeeper in a merchant fleet, and over time climb the ranks myself. I did well for myself, and my family. I wanted to return to Fu Gu though, to- make a statement, I suppose." He paused, frowning over that thought, before continuing.

"Things were not going well for the common people in Fu Gu, or the surrounding area. For several years they had struggled with famine and the elites raising prices on necessities in response. There had always been some who went hungry, but now more and more people were beginning to starve. So I began committing crime."

Shi Qingxuan laughed a little and tried to hide it behind their sleeve. He Xuan glanced at them, eyebrows raised. "Sorry," they said, "the way you phrased that is just funny. 'I began committing crime,' like it's so simple."

"It is."

"You were delivering food to starving people."

"I was cooking the books at my business and shorting our clients in order to do so. It's a crime in the eyes of the law, no matter the motivation." He Xuan half-shrugged dismissively. "Regardless. I did my best to be covert, but it wasn't possible to go entirely unnoticed, and my name began to spread. It eventually reached the ears of those who cared much more that I was committing fraud and smuggling. But they were stupid and proud. If they had simply allowed the law to act, I would have been jailed, and that would have been that. Instead, a lord whom I had... history with decided that he wanted to deal with me personally."

He glanced at Shi Qingxuan as though waiting for them to interject again, but they were listening with rapt attention. This was the part that they more or less knew, but they wanted to hear it from his lips.

"That man had me abducted and beaten, and then taken to his estate. I believe he wanted to torture me, or to force me into some kind of sadistic decision. I don't- quite remember." He Xuan stumbled slightly over that part of the tale, and Shi Qingxuan again held their tongue, allowing him to regain his composure and carry on. They didn't need the gory details.

He Xuan's voice dropped as he reached the next part. "Something that neither he nor I anticipated occurred. When the people of Fu Gu found out I'd been taken, and rumors swirled that I was most likely to be tortured and killed for my crimes, they rebelled. Rioted. Burned down the businesses and homes of the wealthy, attacked them in the streets. They had been pushed too far, one too many times. The violence lasted for three days, with no signs of stopping."

"But you stopped it," Shi Qingxuan said quietly.

He Xuan continued speaking without looking at them. "When word reached the lord of what was happening, he shut himself - and me, by extension - up in his estate. Every day, the reports got worse and worse. I was desperate and full of rage. So on the third day, I found my strength." He did look at Shi Qingxuan then, eyes dark and somehow weary. "You know the next part."

"And then Scholar He, fueled by the righteous fury of the downtrodden common people, rose and overpowered one of the lord's bodyguards and stole his sword, and with a single mighty blow, he lopped off the corrupt lord's head," Shi Qingxuan murmured, reciting the tale as they'd heard it narrated a few years ago. It had been an extremely popular retelling in the first few years after He Xuan's ascension, for obvious reasons. "And then, with the lord's head in his hand, he exited the estate and threw the head down before the gates of of Fu Gu, and seeing that their hero was alive and victorious, and that the evil lord was dead, the people stopped their violence and raised their hands in celebration."

"Hmph."

"And Scholar He ascended to Heaven at that very moment, and now you're here stuck with me," Shi Qingxuan finished, tone deliberately light and jarringly dissonant with all that had just been said. They rested their chin on their hands and smiled at He Xuan.

"Stuck? I could leave whenever the fancy struck me,"  he retorted.

"Oh? But you're still here. Does that mean you enjoy my company?" Shi Qingxuan's smile widened.

He Xuan didn't answer the question. Instead, he looked out over the darkening riverbank, noting how the crowd was beginning to thin. "We should head back soon, I suppose."

"I suppose you're right." Shi Qingxuan sat up straighter and stretched with a soft groan. "Shall we go back separately, in case Pei Ming and friends are still laying in wait for you?"

He Xuan gave them a sidelong look. "Abandoning me to my fate, then?"

"I can only do so much for you, you know."

He snorted. "Fine." They both rose to their feet, dusting themselves of grass and dirt. He Xuan paused as though just remembering something as his hand brushed over a spot on his robe.

"Here." He withdrew the cloth-wrapped pendant and shoved it into Shi Qingxuan's hands.

They laughed in surprise. "You're not supposed to give other people gifts on your birthday," they teased.

"We're not celebrating my birthday," He Xuan deadpanned. "Just take it."

"Yes, well." Shi Qingxuan grinned up at him. Maybe it was because they'd badgered so much information out of him over the course of the night without giving much in return, or simply the pleasure of today turning out so much nicer than they'd expected, maybe something else entirely. For whatever reason, they had an impulse to say something and followed it. "I'll tell you a secret. Today's my birthday too."

There was a pause, during which He Xuan squinted at them.

"...Seriously."

"Seriously!"

He Xuan's eyes narrowed further. Shi Qingxuan bounced on the balls of their feet.

"I can take it back and give it to you tomorrow," He Xuan said finally, no doubt remembering their evasive answer at the beginning of the evening as to why they didn't enjoy the day in question.

Shi Qingxuan laughed again, somewhat in spite of it all. "No, it's too late to take it back! I'm going to open it." They quickly did so before either of them could change their minds about it, and gasped in delight at the jade bird pendant. "Oh-! That's lovely!"

"I thought it was- decent," He Xuan said, crossing his arms and pointedly not making eye contact.

Shi Qingxuan slid it on over their head, pleased with how the pendant settled comfortably against the center of their chest. They clasped it with one hand, looking at He Xuan with shining eyes and unable to keep from grinning at how hard he was trying not to look at them in return. "Thank you, He-xiong," they said with sincere feeling. They didn't think they could explain to him right at that moment that they hadn't received a birthday gift since childhood, and they weren't sure they'd ever received one that wasn't not-so-subtly a show of wealth on the giver's part.

"Don't mention it. Seriously, don't mention it to anyone. Ever. I don't want people to start hanging around under the assumption that they'll receive gifts." Well, they could safely discount bragging about wealth from He Xuan's motivations, not that they'd have assumed it of him anyway. Something about the story of beheading other, wealthier people had a way of making that seem unlikely.

"I'll say it's from a secret admirer," Shi Qingxuan replied brightly, well aware that wasn't what he'd meant at all. "Good night, then- and happy birthday!" With that, they drew up a distance shortening array and were off before He Xuan could call after them.

When they finally arrived at their own palace, they collapsed into bed fully-clothed. It took a while to feel sleepy even so, with the evening's excitement still buzzing in their veins. Their thoughts still raced, refusing to settle on any one thing.

Scholar He, the vision conjured by the tale of his ascension, standing at the gates of Fu Gu with a corrupt lord's head in his bloodied hands. The Lord Water Master, the god, watching haughtily over the ships that that sailed to and from port, ready to turn them over to the waves if they displeased him.

And He Xuan, the man, animated and flustered as Shi Qingxuan laughed at him from his own sofa. Stealing a handful of sesame buns to give to two hungry children on the street.

The bird pendant was a comforting weight against their chest, warmed by their skin as they finally slept.

A few days before Shi Qingxuan's birthday, enough years ago now that they didn't care to count them and put a concrete number to how much time had gone by, their brother had left them alone.

That wasn't too unusual, especially at that time. He'd been doing it more often, leaving Shi Qingxuan hidden away in what sanctuary he'd been able to carve out for the two of them. They acted like they didn't see it, in order to keep up an atmosphere of optimism, but Shi Wudu was working himself to the bone trying to keep them both safe and afloat. However badly they wanted their big brother to stay by their side, Shi Qingxuan wanted more badly to not be a burden and risk losing the last person they had left, so they assured him brightly every time that they would be fine on their own for a couple of days.

Before he left, Shi Wudu had taken them by the shoulders and looked them intently in the eye. "We won't have to hide much longer," he promised, with so much conviction that Shi Qingxuan would never have thought to question him. "When I come back, we can leave this place."

He left that day and never returned.

After too many days had passed and their food had begun to run out, Shi Qingxuan made their way to the nearest village. That was where they finally heard the news of the corpse that had been found days before, a man's body laying broken on the rocks beneath a sea cliff.

They had known then. Nobody had been able to give much description except for the man's clothes, and it was far too treacherous to try to retrieve the body, but Shi Qingxuan had known.

By the time they got there, the uncaring waves had long swept the body out to sea, and there was nothing left to even try to recover. They had nothing to bury, and nothing to take with them.

They had, once again, simply sat and waited. Waited this time for the Venerable of Empty Words to come for them like it was destined to.

It, too, never came for them.

The first hint of a suspicion had begun to form then, but Shi Qingxuan hadn't entertained it for long. They'd spent an amount of time that only someone in the deepest, blackest pits of grief could spend, agonizing over whether to simply stay and die, or to pick themselves up and try to find a way to live.

Shi Wudu, proud, brilliant, and invincible until that moment in Shi Qingxuan's eyes, had died doing something for them, so how could they possibly be fit to live?

But, equally true: how could they possibly waste the last, desperate gift their brother had given them?

"Hey, kid. You want to earn a meal and a place to sleep for the night?"

Shi Qingxuan found their chance in a weary old cultivator passing through a town at the same time as them. The man really needed bait more than an assistant, but Shi Qingxuan was swift and tricky when they needed to be, and they had evaded everything that had tried to kill them so far in life. What was a bit more?

A one-time deal, which became an apprenticeship, which became a career, as it turned out.

A traveling cultivator didn't need a home or any history beyond the exorcisms they had performed and the monsters they had slain. For some, it was a life of responsibility, for others a life of freedom. For Shi Qingxuan, it was most often both.

I'll do it for you, Ge. I'll help anyone who comes to me. I'll be the person they need.

Shi Wudu had sometimes spoken bitterly of the pair of them not having the people they needed when the time was right; Shi Qingxuan had cheerfully, naively countered that they didn't need anyone except each other.

Did you know, Ge? Did you do it on purpose?

After their first successful job as an independent cultivator, they returned to that seaside town and spent all the money they had left on a grave marker. At least once every year, they returned to that town and that marker to make sure that it was still standing undisturbed. They left flowers and spoke to their brother, and as much as they prayed that he was resting peacefully with the rest of their family, a part of them always longed to hear him answer in his stern way.

Year after year, they waited on the Venerable of Empty Words's arrival - not to give themselves to it now, but to cut it down with their own hands. To avenge everything that it had taken from them.

But still, it never came. And then-

And then it was all over. The waiting and running and searching. Then they ascended, achieved something they'd never been chasing for themselves but for the memory of the man who should have risen with them.

Are you proud of me, Ge?

Was this worth your life?

And they chattered and laughed and danced their way through the Heavenly Capitol, carefree young Lord Wind Master, because immortality was worth nothing if they didn't help as many people as possible and wring every drop of joy from it that they could. Then someday, maybe, they could begin to feel that they'd paid back the cost of their ascension.