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They’re just kids.
Tenma whispered this phrase to himself, like a soothing mantra, whenever the words he had grown tired of hearing echoed in his mind again and again.
Words uttered with more or less benevolent intent.
Being a top neurosurgeon isn’t enough, right, Tenma? You have to take care of two kids as well, eh? Hope this selflessness won’t bite you or them in the ass.
They didn’t understand: Johan and Anna deserved a good home. And he could give it to them.
Wouldn’t it be better if you settled down first?
Tenma usually shrugged these thoughts off, adding a grin when there was someone with him. But sometimes, in moments of solitude and darkness growing outside the window, every thought lightened through his head like thunder.
But aren’t you afraid that, you know, something nasty will come out of them? No, I really don’t want it to sound like that, but just think, Tenma, with a past like this…
He pressed his hands against his face and sat down by the kitchen table to eat the reheated dinner (he was lucky that his elderly neighbor, Mrs. Neumann, seemed to like him). It was quiet, too quiet; every rustle and gust of wind reached his ears.
He shouldn’t be more afraid than when he was leaning over a patient’s open skull with a scalpel in his hand.
And their previous guardian? Aren’t you afraid that, you know, he’ll come back and bring more trouble? I mean, you never know with people like this.
He put down his fork and pushed away the plate with a piece of almost untouched meatloaf. His stomach tightened.
One man couldn’t have that much power.
What Tenma needed, was a good night of sleep, the long day in the hospital was exhausting. That’s all.
And in his bedroom, a pleasant surprise was waiting for him: someone had placed a drawing on his bedside table. Based on the choice of colors—pastel blues and pinks, the palette of the afternoon sky they had witnessed a few days ago—he could guess that this certain someone was Anna. It was a drawing of acorns and little birds.
A smile and relief came to him like a gentle breeze.
The following morning, the scent of rain floated into the kitchen through the open window—the vibrant smell of a spring day.
Tenma was putting scrambled eggs decorated with fresh chives on three plates when Anna ran into the kitchen, still in her pajamas. She waved a disappointed finger at the heavy clouds that hung over Düsseldorf.
“It’s raining! So, that means we won’t be able to go to the playground today, huh?”
Her tone—quiet and filled with childish sadness—tugged at his heartstrings. In moments like this, a wave of emotions would grip his throat, twisting his stomach into a knot.
And soften his features.
“We’ll see, maybe the sun will come out again.”
Anna’s face darkened as Johan entered the kitchen. With a twinge of shame, Tenma caught a glimpse of his sullen reflection on the refrigerator door.
All because Johan has been too quiet lately.
He was quiet before stealing some candy from the store owned by Mr. Haas, the hefty middle-aged man who always took off his hat before extending a warm greeting.
I’m so sorry, Mr. Haas, I promise this won’t happen again.
He was quiet before provoking a fight between two other boys in the kindergarten. Miss Schmidt, the young teacher with a storm of black curls around her head, told Tenma that she’d never witnessed something like this before.
I’ll talk to him about it. He’s a good kid, he’s just…
It was quiet before Johan climbed onto the windowsill while the window was wide open.
If anything happened to him back then, it… It would be my fault. How could I be so stupid?!
Tenma rolled up his shirt sleeves. He needed to be reasonable. He needed to sit down, look Johan in the eye, and talk to him.
“Did you sleep well?”
Johan nodded and started eating. During these days of quiet, his meticulousness shone through; he left no crumb behind, cleaned his dishes until they gleamed, and ensured that everything was put back in its rightful place. As if he were afraid that...
“You better behave normally today! The sun just came out and I want to go to the playground, you hear me? Don’t ruin it for us!”
Tenma blinked in surprise. Why this sudden attack? Ah, it was…
When Johan was quiet, Anna became snappy. Tenma could swear that the anger that sometimes flashed like sparks in her eyes had the power to terrify even a hardened cop.
“Anna, stop it. Let your brother eat in peace.”
“He better not upset me,” she muttered, finishing the rest of her eggs in silence, only occasionally scowling at her brother.
Any other kid in Johan’s position would have stuck out his tongue, started arguing, anything. But Johan only smiled lightly.
“I’m so glad I can be here with you now,” Tenma told them, sipping his cold coffee.
If only this one simple sentence could ease all the tension.
But he enjoyed these mornings together, even if they weren’t the easiest. And Anna was right—the sky had brightened. They could spend the afternoon on the playground.
When he welcomed the twins to his home, he had no idea that seeing them playing together—swinging on swings, climbing monkey bars, romping around with other kids—would fill him with so much joy.
He always sat close to the playground, sometimes he joined in the fun—like that one time when he taught them to fly a kite, something he used to do a lot as a kid back in Japan.
The blooming trees nearby, a soft landing on the grass, its blades tickling his skin, and the laughter of kids around him. He smiled at the memory.
The playground was nearly deserted that day. Katja and Silke, the children of Mrs. Leitz, were playing with Johan and Anna. Mrs. Leitz came here regularly, and Tenma couldn’t say he didn’t like their chats about everyday trifles. She would always bring some homemade treats; recently it was the oatmeal cookies with chocolate chips the twins loved so much.
She was surprisingly disappointed when he had to turn down her invitation for coffee, but luckily she didn’t bring it up again.
“Can I ask you a favor?” she asked him as he looked at Anna who had taken a few steps away from her companions. “My doctor prescribed me a new medication, but I can’t read the dosage, maybe you’ll be able to decipher this chicken scratch?”
“Oh, of course. Let’s see…”
He unfolded the crumpled note and squinted—the writing was indeed illegible. He was about to explain to Mrs. Leitz that she should take two capsules with a meal in the evening when a piercing scream turned his blood into ice.
Johan!
No… It was Anna.
Tenma leaped off the bench, hitting Mrs. Leitz with his shoulder and stumbling over his trouser leg. Johan was lying on the ground, while Anna loomed above him, clutching a stick in her hand. When did it happen?! He glanced away from them just for a second!
“What happened?!”
Screaming wasn’t helpful, of course; Anna stopped blinking, and her chin began to shake.
Calm down, calm down, calm down.
Tenma leaned over Johan, thank goodness he was conscious, there was no blood and he was breathing normally, a bruise showed on his forehead, that’s fine, he’d take care of everything once they’re safe and sound at home. Mrs. Leitz joined him, asking if she could help him somehow or...
“Anna hit him and he fell,” said one of the girls, hiding behind her mother’s back.
Tenma gently took the stick out of Anna’s hand.
“Anna, why did you hit your brother?” he asked, this time more calmly.
Tears began to flow down her cheeks, she shook her head and said nothing.
He politely thanked Mrs. Leitz and drew the unpredictable two close to him. It was time to go home.
After returning home, Tenma prepared a cold compress to stop the swelling. He also made sure their babysitter was available in case he got an emergency call.
When he put down the compress and finished looking for other injuries or worrying symptoms—symptoms he knew so well thanks to his work at the hospital—Johan hid under the covers, still not saying a word.
Giving him some space was probably the best solution for now.
“I’ll come back soon to see if everything’s okay.” Tenma caressed Johan’s cheek with the back of his hand. “Get some rest now. If you need anything, I’m here.”
He found Anna sitting on the couch in the living room, her eyes huge in her face as blank as a piece of paper.
“Would you like to draw something? Or maybe play a game?” Tenma asked, placing an orange and carrot juice box in front of her.
Anna didn’t answer. Tenma sighed inwardly, brushing a strand of hair from her cheek.
“Anna, what’s going on? Why did you hit your brother?”
She shrugged. He let out another sigh, this time louder, as he massaged the bridge of his nose with his fingertips.
“Did he say something mean to you?”
She shook her head. Well, at least that told him more than a mere shrug.
“Did he do something to you?”
Another wordless no.
He could wait.
When Anna finally raised her head, she looked as if she had shaken off an eerie dream, her lips pressed into a thin line, her fingers fidgeting with a loose thread on her dress.
“When we were on the playground… Johan told me…”
There was a pause thick with uncertainty. Tenma took her small hands and gently lifted them, sending her a comforting smile.
“He said… He said he had a plan. And that we’ll see very soon if you want to get rid of us too.” Tears shimmered in her eyes again. “Why is he like that?”
He was looking for the perfect answer. The problem was that he couldn’t find even one that would satisfy him halfway.
“Johan needs time.”
“I don’t like it when he’s like this. I’m scared that because of him... We’ll… You’ll… We’ll go back to…”
Anna’s unfinished sentence struck through him like a knife, creating a searing pain in his chest that soon melted into numbness. He pulled her into a tight embrace.
“I won’t ever leave you.”
He rocked her body, soothing her crying, and offered a tissue to dry her reddened cheeks. A painful sight, yet his discomfort didn’t play a role; the only thing that mattered was her finding some peace by his side.
There were two chewing gums in his shirt pocket. Mrs. Leitz recommended an oddly effective way to bring back some peace—focusing the kids’ attention on something they couldn’t resist.
It turned out that for Johan and Anna, it was ordinary bubble gum.
“Listen, how about we go now to your room and you give Johan this as an apology?” Tenma showed her the two pieces. “I understand that you were afraid, but it’s never okay to hit anyone.”
Anna blinked, rubbed her face, and nodded, her expression contrite.
Johan was already awake, sitting with his back against the wall. His eyes were glassy—Tenma saw them like this for the first time—and it was a sight that stirred yet another ache.
“I’m sorry I hit you earlier,” Anna mumbled, extending a stick of chewing gum towards him.
Johan answered with a smile—and this time, it wasn’t his usual provocative smile, this time he smiled like a boy who was happy to see his sister talking to him and offering him this small gift.
Tenma sat down on the bed, Anna climbed onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, the sweet smell of bubble gum wafting into his nostrils. Johan preferred to keep his distance and rested his head on his shoulder.
And that’s alright. Tenma was ready to give him all the time he needed.
They’re just kids.