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Lying on the Sloth Floor, Ron let out a tired sigh in defeat. As much as he loved solving complex ciphers, it became tedious even for him. Now he has once again put all the details he has on the shelves to find the answer to his question, but that's not the task! Instead of the result he needed, it brought him nothing but even bigger questions. This is not the first time he has done this, and certainly not his first attempt to solve the riddle that haunts him. The only mystery he hadn't been able to solve for over a year. It is a mystery what is a living being, but more importantly Ron's partner.
His cute puppet really caused him a lot of internal problems, and not for the reasons he would like. Despite all the detailed analysis he had conducted back in the early days of their partnership, Ron had only recently begun to realize that Totomaru Isshiki was a contradiction in terms. He is ashamed to admit that he began to be interested in Toto on a deeper level only when he realized that he was in love with him. And although this is another can of worms that he would not like to open, he has the strength to admit that Toto interests him much more than a friend. From these thoughts, he felt the tips of his ears begin to heat up a little. He will never get used to these feelings when he thinks about his partner. About how beautiful he is, how cute he looks when he smiles, how cute his lips seem and how he would like to kiss them.
After that, Ron slapped his already hot cheeks with force. He will not go back down into the pit of his consciousness called "let's think about how good a romantic partner Toto will be", he cannot do it again when he had already vividly fantasized about it just a few days ago. In addition, he does not know if Toto is interested in any kind of romantic relationship at all, given his reaction to other relatively attractive people from the point of view of appearance like Amamiya and Kawasemi. So he should not feed on false hopes, especially when the object of his fantasies may be an aromantic.
Which leads him to his riddle. He doesn't know anything about Toto at all.
Even after several months of deeper analysis of Toto as a person, the only thing Ron can say about him is that Totomaru personifies the word "contradiction". All the characteristics and facts that Ron had deduced in the course of his personal investigation and observation (purely professional!) simply did not add up to each other. Initially, he thought that Totomaru Isshiki was just a simple-minded and naive detective, but now he couldn't say for sure that this was the case. Toto keeps too many secrets for the kind of person you would say is open.
He may seem like an open book showing all your emotions on his face, but this is far from the case. This is just the surface of what really lies behind the officer. All his exclamations of shock and the eternally soft smile on his face can be said to be like a poker face to him. After all, Toto can perfectly keep all his emotions under control, which makes it difficult to say what he thinks at all. Ron, for all that he knows Toto, has seen something different from that smile on his face only 3 times. When Amimiya was almost killed, by Himeno-san's death, and during the Elmer situation. It was the only time he saw any vivid reaction from Toto other than his exclamations of surprise. In any situation, he maintained perfect calm, which often saved him and Ron himself, and during murders that made his blood run cold or attempts on his life, such as the axe that almost killed him during a visit to the village of Yadagama-sama, in his eyes, despite the shock, there was nothing besides calmness and one might even say indifference? As if all these incidents don't bother him, which doesn't fit with his profile as a beginner and a person who is assigned minor tasks.
Which leads to another contradiction. Ron couldn't figure out for the life of him how Toto ended up in the department with Amamiya if he was so bad as a detective. Moreover, even with ignorance of his exact age, which still bothers him very much, he can say that Totomaru is quite young by the standards of an officer and a detective. So how did he get into the First Investigation Division? Although recalling the testimony of other people during the case at the Nandan Observatory, he was able to put together something that almost independently solved the case in which he was accused. Which again strangely doesn't fit with Toto's image as a useless detective. He knows perfectly well that Totomaru is smart, the case in Nandan showed him that, so why wasn't this the case in other cases?
After that, Ron howled in frustration. How is it possible that a person is both stupid and smart, open and secretive, deceitful and honest?
And Ron doesn't even know where Toto lives. In fact, no one knows where he lives, even Amimiya, because Toto apparently never invited anyone to his house, which worries Ron's mind. Toto says almost nothing about himself or his family, except for his grandmother, who was mentioned only 2 times and whose name he still does not know, not about life before meeting Ron, nor about friends or his hobbies, nothing! He doesn't even know the name of Toto's favorite food. All his answers to these questions are always vague and as neutral as possible. The only thing he knows about Toto, apart from things related to his work, is his love of Nyo-Nyon music, which he learned quite by accident. It's the only thing he's learned all year about what Toto does in his free time. So Ron has to admit that Toto is great at hiding things when he wants to. After all, hiding is also a kind of lie, isn't it? As well as the lie when he confidently says that he has "solved" the case.
Toto is rarely really afraid of anything, and to be honest, it scares Ron a little. Toto saw all the worries, fears, doubts, his lower stages as a person, and still chose to stay with him. In return, he doesn't know anything about Toto's inner feelings during and outside of their investigations, he's never seen Toto's weakness, he's... never seen Toto share his feelings with him. This caused a small invisible spike of pain to form in his heart. Did he really not trust him enough to share anything with him? He can't be that bad, right? Aren't partners supposed to take care of each other, so why doesn't Toto let you take care of him? Did he really screw up like that as a human being? Or maybe he won't talk to him about it because he'll leave too? When he also leaves and abondon such a bad person like him, as everyone else did. After that thought, he forced himself not to descend into this cycle of despair. He trusts Toto, so that means Toto, as promised, will not go anywhere and will stay with him. Because Toto won't lie about it. (he ignores the dark whisper of his insecurity that Toto is constantly hiding everything)
However, the facts remain facts. Toto is clearly hiding something, and this even applies not only to his past, which almost does not seem to exist, but also to his skills. Ron has noticed more than once that Toto is too strong and fast for a man who, as he says, "just runs a lot." An ordinary person cannot easily hold the weight of an adult man and lift a 9 kilogram bag of coffee beans as if it were nothing. And his reaction speed and reflexes are too fast to be only natural. After all, how many people had he saved who could have killed themselves in just a few seconds.
All of this just didn't add up to the big picture, which made Totomaru Isshiki feel like a careful image rather than a real person. And it didn't suit him. Ron Kamonahashi wants to see the real part of his partner, not the stupid officer that his partner try to look. And if he has to confront Toto directly, then he'll damn well do it.
