Chapter Text
It was a rare occasion for Colonel Roy Mustang to have a moment alone in his office. Not that he particularly desired to spend too much time alone in the horrid paperwork inferno that was also known as his room, but it was a change no less. On most days, Roy was surrounded by his subordinates and the endless piles of paperwork on his desk, not to mention the pair of fierce, hazel eyes that normally followed his every movement.
Roy let out an exasperated sigh, mentally cursing a certain shrimp to the lowest levels of hell. His desk was piled with stack after stack of repair requests, unsigned apology letters and payment orders, all thanks to the destruction the insufferable thirteen year old held within his tiny little frame.
He chuckled thinking about how furious the kid would be should he ever learn what adjectives Roy had just used to describe him. But his momentary jubilance vanished as fast as it had appeared, when he remembered the difference that still remained between the unfinished and finished piles of documents. Honestly, Roy was unsure whether he should have been impressed or annoyed by the trail of devastation a mere thirteen year old had left behind him. Collapsed warehouses, roads cracked with alchemy, a demolished museum… The list was seemingly endless, and Roy settled on annoyance.
Fullmetal had been with the military for a little over a year, and while the brat was an absolute pain, he had also accomplished more in his short time of service than many soldiers did in a lifetime. Major Elric had made ground-breaking discoveries in alchemy, apprehended numerous criminals and, most importantly, he had earned the citizens' respect and admiration. A hero of the people, they dubbed him.
It would take all night to get things to a bearable level, and Roy fought the urge to find a large rug and sweep all of the offending documents under it. Dammit, it was his pre-designated drinking day, but now the bottle of whiskey he had set aside for this Friday would have to remain unopened. At least until he would get home, of course.
Mustang's brow furrowed as he stole a quick glance at the clock. It was well past midnight already, and his efforts were yet to make a dent to the insurmountable beast of paper work. Roy offhandedly wondered if killing a teenager would be a deal-breaker for potential Führer candidates. Probably was.
Roy was interrupted from his hard work –cough cough… procrastination… cough cough- as the very soldier he had just mentally slandered kicked his door open. Thankfully Ed had used his flesh leg, seeing as Roy rather liked his doors to remain on their hinges. He kept his eyes glued to the papers in front of him, actively ignoring the reason to his current sobriety.
Roy could hear the kid breath hard, like he'd just ran for kilometres on end or something. Come to think of it, he realized that Fullmetal probably had run, if he'd been on the night train which had arrived a little under an hour ago. He attempted to keep his face blank, but when Roy looked up to Ed he couldn't help a grimace at the sight of his youngest subordinate's state.
Fullmetal looked like he might fall asleep on his feet any given moment; his eyes were half-lidded and his posture drooping. Intense storms had been plaguing East City recently, and the kid was waterlogged to an extent that Roy was pretty sure the office would flood soon if the dripping kid would stay there much longer.
So, not only did the kid make Roy work overtime to clear his messes, but now he had to play babysitter too? Oh goody.
"Fullmetal, what are you doing here at this hour? Isn't it past your bedtime?" Roy asked exasperatedly, his tone making his displeasement abundantly clear.
"Funny. I saw the lights were on so thought I'd bring you the report. Don't want to see your ugly face on the weekend." Ed said, but with what Roy could distinguish as masqued fatigue in his voice.
"Well, that makes two of us, shorty." He smirked, fully aware of the reaction it would earn him.
"Who are you calling so teeny tiny that they could use a water molecule for a swimming pool!" Ed yelled, and Roy was amused to see his face turn into a brilliantly enraged shade of pink.
"You should be thanking me for bringing you this shitty report at all, you jerk!"
"Yeah, sure Fullmetal. Now not only I have to deal with the factory you managed to blow up, once again if I may add, but now I have the pleasure or trying to translate this chicken scratch you call writing." Roy scoffed. "Thank you. So, so much."
"Whatever asshole, have fun with the paperwork. Besides, how was I supposed to know those idiots had explosives in there?" Fullmetal glowered.
"Had you bothered to read the informant report I gave you, you would have known that their leader had history as a pyromaniac." Roy said matter-of-factly, lowering his gaze back to his papers in attempt to seem busy.
"Yeah, ten years ago!" Fullmetal yelled, although his voice wavered ever so slightly. "You try evading trigger happy anarchists and reading some stuffy report at the same time, and then tell me how to do things."
"And have you somehow gotten fatally allergic to reading on moving vehicles, or are you just incapable of reading the briefing on the train?" Roy mused condescendingly and rolled his eyes at the fuming teen.
"Screw you! I'm going home before I die from an overdose of egotistical morons."
"Do that Fullmetal, your whining is giving me a headache anyway." Roy snapped back and rubbed his temples melodramatically.
"Yeah, whatever Colonel Fucktard. I'm out of here." Ed replied, too tired to handle the continuous war of insults he and his supervisor usually wound up having. He was halfway out the door before he had even finished his declaration.
The Colonel smirked, happy to be finally left back to ignoring his work. But as he followed the thirteen year old's slowly receding back, Roy found himself feeling oddly concerned for the boy's health. It was still pouring rain outside, and Fullmetal was wearing only his trademark red alchemist's coat which might as well have been a paper towel against the storm's throes.
The last thing Roy needed was to deal with a sick subordinate.
"Fullmetal, wait. I'll give you a ride home." The words slipped out of his mouth before Roy had even acknowledged the thought.
Mustang watched the adolescent open his mouth in an argument and what would mostly likely have been a creative insult but, much to his surprise and relief, the kid's shoulders simply drooped in submission and he nodded wearily. Roy packed up his things, grateful to have an excuse to put the paperwork-marathon on hold for the time being, and the duo walked to the Colonel's vehicle in silence.
In retrospect, it would have been so much better if the boy had simply been his usual obnoxious and recalcitrant self just then.
There was close to no traffic on the streets of East City as Roy drove towards the military housing, which served as the temporary home of his drowsing subordinate whenever the Elrics chose to grace the town with their presence.
'Sheesh, I hope the kid doesn't drool on the leather', Roy thought as he glanced at the sleepy boy via the rear view mirror.
"Say, Fullmetal, where's your brother?" Roy asked, for even if he really wasn't all that interested in the brothers' personal affairs, he found the prospect of salivated seats even less alluring. Small talk it was, then.
The kid's amber eyes fluttered open languidly, their unfocused and weary gaze darting from corner to corner for a while before they widened in horror as Fullmetal grasped that he was, in fact, nodding off in his supervising officer's back seat. The kid sat up straight with impressive speed and an embarrassed pink hue colouring his cheeks.
"He stayed back in Resembool to help with the floods." The young alchemist mumbled groggily, rubbing his eyes as he spoke. Roy chuckled at the uncharacteristic, almost childlike softness in the boy's mannerism.
They were only minutes away from their destination when Roy noticed it. He cursed his tiredness and inattentiveness in a rather coarse choice of words, and based on the shuffling in the back seat, Fullmetal had also noticed the large van tailing them.
"Colonel, who are they?"
Roy scoffed. "If I knew don't you think I would tell you?"
The quiet, sardonic laughter that resounded from the back seat offered a pointed answer to Roy's question. He was just about to snap at the kid when the van accelerated without warning, colliding roughly with Roy's car. The vehicle swerved wildly, but Roy managed to keep it on the road.
Seeing that their tail was most definitely not just on a joyride, the Colonel stepped on it. They practically flew through the streets of East City at speeds that would have earned all non-military personnel a hefty fine; cutting corners and running red lights in attempt to lose their unwanted shadow.
But the van might have as well been glued to their bumper, for even when Roy drove fast enough to draw involuntary whimpers from both his car and his passenger, the pursuing vehicle wouldn't relent. The Flame Alchemist grumbled profanities under his breath. 'It's only a matter of time before we...'
"Colonel, look out!"
'... crash.'
Before Colonel Roy Mustang could react to Fullmetal's panicked cry, a second car appeared from an alley, its engine revving loudly as the car's driver sped through the intersection and closed in on the pair of horrified alchemists.
There was no time nor room to avoid impact, and Roy saw his life flashing in his eyes; Fullmetal's shouts serving as a poor man's background music. Car crash, what a great way to spend a Friday.
'Beats paperwork.'
When Roy slowly regained consciousness, he ached all over. He groaned softly as he struggled to recall where he was and what the hell had happened for it to hurt this goddamn much. After a moment's probing the memories came flooding back; of Ed barging into his office, drenched and freezing and him gallantly offering the poor kid a ride. And then… nothing. Roy grimaced in frustration and pain.
He didn't dare to open his eyes. Roy could feel that the upper half of his face was caked with what must have been blood and, consequently, all efforts to part his eyelids resulted in searing pain. It was getting exceedingly difficult to breathe and, much to his chagrin, Roy could feel panic grow inside him.
What had happened to Ed, was he okay? If so, why couldn't he hear the kid's annoying voice barking at him about his poor old-man reflexes, or whatever insult he could come up with. Why wasn't he helping? Surely he would.
Unless Roy was already beyond help.
Was he? Because if this was heaven, it had been terribly over-advertised; constant pain and pressure did not match Roy's idea of eternal bliss at all, not that he believed in god in the first place. And where were all the ladies in miniskirts? Surely that was a minimum requirement for heaven.
Suddenly there was an earthquake, or at least something of the same magnitude rattling Roy. The force and momentum made him bang his head against the steering wheel and Roy's attempt at cursing his fate came out as a pitiful whimper.
Oh right, the steering wheel. Car.
The memory of the crash came rushing back to Roy, who clenched his eyes shut even further until he was pretty sure the lids were permanently glued together. He could hear someone yelling, but he couldn't tell what was being said, or by whom. Another earthquake shook him to the core and Roy was convinced his head had been split in half by the impact. He groaned, hoping for darkness to claim him again so that he could have a moment's peace from the agony coursing through him.
He panted arduously, every breath requiring more effort than the last, but after what felt like an eternity of torturous inhale-exhales, he could make out Ed's distressed voice. "Colonel! Colonel! Get up, we've got to get out of here!"
Had Roy been able to, he would have given the brat a little lesson on why he shouldn't just go around yelling into injured people's ears. Things to do, things to do...
"C'mon Colonel Bastard, don't tell me that little bump was enough to take you out?"
Fullmetal was shaking him by his shoulders, having indubitably created the ever-so-pleasant earthquakes in the process. It was obvious the kid was doing his best to sound pissed off, but it didn't take a genius to pick up on the nervous undertone to his words. Roy lifted his head with great effort in order to face his subordinate. Ed seemed concerned but unharmed, standing in front of him with only a few cuts and nasty looking bruises on him.
"Fullmetal..? What happened?" He managed to croak out. The headache was growing stronger than ever and he knew he was soon to pass out.
"Some cowards rammed us of the road. Can you move?" Ed replied apprehensively. Roy could only shake his head in disbelief; there was no way in hell he could move when he was having a hard time just moving his eyes without losing the slipping grip he still had on consciousness.
"Yeah, I figured. You managed to hit your head beautifully," Fullmetal sneered, but there was no real scorn in his voice. "Wait here, I'll go teach these assholes a little something about alchemy." He growled and cracked his knuckles in anger before taking off.
Roy could do nothing but watch the blonde leave with a huff, and he felt a pang of fear in his heart. He couldn't quite place who he was afraid for, himself or the young alchemist.
There was a slight limp in Fullmetal's otherwise confident stride, leading Roy to the conclusion that the brat was injured after all, but still heading to face off with the blurry figures in the edge of Roy's vision. Their attackers.
'Having to be saved by a kid.' Roy thought before he could no longer hold on to consciousness. 'That shrimp will never let this go.'
End of chapter 1