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For some time, Zuko didn’t understand what Rei’s role in the group was. Sure they were a good earth bender but they didn’t really hold a candle to Toph’s ability. And yet they hadn’t been sent elsewhere to assist in the rebellion. They remained with the main group traveling with the Avatar. Zuko puzzled over this often, not disrespectfully of course, but just out of pure bewilderment. It didn’t click until one night he woke up to the sound of someone crying.
Being someone who had been conditioned to sleep lightly in fear of danger from a young age, Zuko sat up immediately and sought out the source. He found it to be Toph, her sleeping mat being the closest to his, but that someone was already by her side. He relaxed the muscles that had tensed at the sound of the sound of crying and started to lay back down but paused. It occurred to him that it was strange that Toph was crying and even stranger that someone almost seemed to anticipate it. He watched the person by the young girl's side until he was able to identify their silhouette. Rei.
They gently rubbed Toph’s arm until she woke up from her fitful sleep with a small gasp. As soon as she did, her arms were up and around Rei’s neck, clinging tightly. This display was already a great surprise to Zuko, but what completely floored him was when they stood, picked up Toph, and cradled her as they walked back to their sleeping mat which was on the other side of Zuko. They then knelt, positioned Toph on their own mat, and curled up behind her, softly caressing different parts of her and saying things too low and quiet for Zuko to make out.
Zuko sat frozen upright on his mat and tried to process what he’d just witnessed. He had never seen Toph be that pliant with anyone and began to wonder whether he had hallucinated that entire interaction, but upon another glance to his left, Rei was still lying there with Toph tucked into their side. Was this an arrangement that they’d made without his knowledge? Why didn’t anyone else in the group acknowledge it then? Was Rei secretly Toph’s hired caretaker and no one talked about it to save Toph’s pride and ego?
Unable to think any more about it, Zuko flopped down with a huff and went to sleep.
By morning, he had nearly forgotten about it until he glanced at Rei’s bed mat and spotted a little black head of hair sticking out from under the blankets. Zuko was always the first one awake, being a fire bender meant he rose with the sun, but he had never noticed Toph being in Rei’s bedroll before. But if he hadn’t seen what he did the previous night, he supposed he wouldn’t have noticed it at all, so perhaps it happened more often than he realized. With that, he continued with his morning routine of waking Aang and having him breathe and do hot squats.
Zuko tried to forget about what happened but found that he suddenly began to notice more things like what happened with Toph. When Sokka brought back fish he’d caught for dinner, he would sometimes have Rei double-check them before cooking them for everyone else to eat. As soon as he asked, they would smile at him and walk to where he was immediately without any questions. Sokka, who was born and raised in the southern water tribe, that ate almost exclusively fish for fifteen years of life, asked someone from the earth kingdom who ate almost everything BUT fish. Zuko struggled to understand.
The same thing happened a couple of days later with Katara. The water bender was practicing suturing the skin of a mango for wounds that were too deep for her bending to heal immediately when she paused, frowned at the fruit, and beckoned Rei over to look at them. Once again, Rei gave her that gentle smile, stopped what they were doing, and joined Katara looking at the sutures. They took a good minute to examine them, patted Katara on the shoulder, told her she was doing great, and walked away. Zuko was once again baffled, but when he looked at Katara, she was smiling and she continued suturing with more enthusiasm than before.
His final straw came when he was giving Aang lessons a week later.
The move he was showing the young bender was more difficult than anything they’d done so far but after several hours of working on it, Aang managed to get it right multiple times in a row without fail. Zuko felt his chest rise up with pride at the boy’s joyous success, but it was quickly replaced with irritation when Aang called Rei over.
“Rei come over here! How does it look?” He showed off the move as soon as they came close, once again with that smile- and laughed childishly as they clapped their hands.
“Nice job Aang! Looks like you’ve got a great teacher there,” they appraised before turning and walking away.
Aang smiled bashfully as they departed but Zuko had had enough.
His fists clenched and shook, “Why did you ask them if it was good? They’re an earth bender, they wouldn’t know if it was right or not!” He exclaimed thrusting his hands out to his sides.
Aang looked surprised at the angry outburst but didn’t take it seriously, “Well you know, it’s still nice to hear them say “nice job!” even if they don’t really know what’s going on”. Zuko’s eyes scrunched up in confusion but before he could ask what Aang meant, the kid continued, “Come on, I need to practice that move some more. I think my stance needs to be a little wider don’t you think?” And the subject was changed.
Zuko practically tormented himself trying to figure out his friend’s odd behavior until finally, three weeks after that first night when Toph cried in her sleep, it happened to him.
He was no stranger to nightmares, but it didn’t stop him from getting shaken up by how violently familiar they were, which often led to him being woken up.
That night he had been revisited by every memory that haunted him. The agni kai with his father, his last memory of his mother, Azula’s taunting words, and his Uncle’s disappointed face. The dream got his blood pumping and his heart beating too fast. He woke with panting breaths and fists that were hot to the touch. His body shook with fear as he tried to regain a bearing on his surroundings. After several minutes with no success, he stood and left the campsite, choosing to sit on the ledge of a nearby cliff while the sun began its climb into the sky.
Soft footsteps came from behind him, making his shoulders to tense even further before he recognized the familiar twinkle of jewelry. Like Toph had cloth wraps around her wrists, Rei had golden chains that adorned their wrists, making them easily identifiable.
They wordlessly joined him in sitting on the edge of the cliff.
After several minutes of unbearable silence, Zuko spoke.
“Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m sitting here?” His words were more accusatory than he meant them to be, perhaps because of the built-up frustration he felt at the group’s strange reliance on Rei.
They just smiled. The same smile they’d given to his friends that made his stomach sour. The smile that made him question everything he thought he knew. It was non-judgmental, understanding, and patient. It reminded him of his mother.
“I wasn’t planning on it. If you want to talk about it I’m sure you will and if you don’t that’s okay too. I just figured you didn’t want to sit alone on this cliff after such a nightmare,” they explained softly, their voice a non-obtrusive cut into the silence of the early morning air.
He couldn’t help the scoff that escaped his mouth, “What kind of nightmare is such a nightmare?”
The smile.
“One that made you tremble so harshly that I could feel the vibrations in the ground,”
He didn’t know what to say to that.
“It’s okay, I feel all the vibrations in the ground, being an earth bender and all,”
“So Toph felt them too then,”
A pause.
“Well yes probably, but I doubt she’ll ever say anything about it,”
“You did though,”
To his surprise, they laughed.
“Yes, I did but only because that’s kind of my job,”
His eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that’s why I’m here. I listen, and give encouragement and keep secrets. It’s obvious I’m not as good an earth bender as Toph, and I can’t hunt as well as Sokka, or heal like Katara, I don’t have nearly as much political power as you and I’m obviously not the avatar!” They laughed again, a sound similar to a silver bell.
“But everyone needs someone to rely on, and that’s me. It’s kind of a part of being the oldest in the group. I’m like an older sibling,”
Zuko remained silent.
An older sibling?
“What does that have to do with anything?”
They tilted their head at him, “I guess since you were raised with a sister like Azula, the role of an older sibling doesn’t mean much to you huh?” They looked away in contemplation for a moment. “Think about how Sokka is protective of Katara, even though she’s capable of taking care of herself. It’s just an instinctual thing for him since he’s older and he’s watched over her since she was little. The same goes for me. I have two younger brothers who are well trained soldiers but it doesn’t stop me from worrying about them and insisting on taking care of them when they’re home”. They got a faraway look in their eyes as they recalled memories Zuko couldn’t begin to imagine.
He shook his head, “But we’re not your family. I get the thing with Sokka and Katara, and you and your brothers but none of us are related to you! So why do you take care of us?”
The smile made its infuriating return.
“Who says family are only those who are related to you?”
Zuko’s heart dropped.
They continued, “Family isn’t just those who are related to you by blood, it’s whoever you want it to be. I think it’s kind of wonderful, that those of us who don’t have people to support us can find others who will,”
“Take Toph, for example. Her parents don’t support her and what she wants to do, but that doesn't really matter at the end of the day right? Because she's got us. We support her and we know she's the best earth bender on this planet, even if her parents won't admit it. If she needs anything she's got us,"
"Like when she has nightmares," Zuko added quietly, putting together the pieces.
Their face softened, eyes relaxing and lips curling into a smile, "Exactly," they whispered back.
"The same goes for you buddy. I'm here if you have nightmares or anything on your mind. I don't know everything but I have a few more years of experience in living than you do and I bet I could come up with something," They waved their hands in the air as they spoke, their movements followed by the tinkling of their jewelry.
"You'd really be willing to be my older sibling?" He asked breathlessly.
They found his eyes and gave him an earnest smile, "Absolutely,"
He sighed heavily and slumped over until his head fell onto their shoulder. "You'd even let me do this?"
"If that's what you want Zuko, then yes" They answered, scooting closer but not touching him any more than that.
Zuko let himself relax against their shoulder and found his eyelids drooping with exhaustion. And as he slipped away into sleep he thought to himself that maybe he could get used to this older sibling thing.
