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Leah has started year five of primary school. And so far..she really has not been feeling it at all. It just felt different than all of her previous years. And only being about a month or so into the year, it has not been the best. It is not that she loves learning but..it is just as fun for her as it used to be. Mentally, she just felt so drained and tired almost every day that she came home from school.
Today is not any different from the others either. Luckily, it is the weekend so Leah finally can get some rest. Or she is trying to get some rest. At the moment, Leah was just laying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Everything around was so quiet that it was a little uncomfortable. Being nine years old, almost ten, a lot of changes were going on.
Physically and mentally, there is a lot going on for the young girl.
“I cannot take a nap. I feel weird and like something just feels off. I can feel it and I have been not able to stop it. I hate feeling like this.” Leah thought. Also, tears have been streaming down Leah’s cheeks, too. Usually, Leah usually never cries but she has reached limit and could not hold back anymore. As Leah took a deep breath trying to calm herself down, there was a knock on her bedroom door. Leah did not turn her head to look at the door.
“Come in.” Leah spoke to whoever was on the other side of the door. When the door opened, there stood Aziraphale. He walked into the room and stood to the side of the bed, looking down at his daughter. The angel also had a plate in one of his hands.
“I brought you a couple of cherry tarts if you want them.” Aziraphale offered her.
“I am not sure if that is going to help me but thank you, Mum.” Leah spoke back. He noticed her tear-stained cheeks and placed the tarts onto the side table and sat down on the bed next to her.
“Is everything alright, dear?” The angel asked their child. Leah shook her head.
“Not really.” She replied.
“What’s wrong, hun? Want to talk about it?” Aziraphale asked and offered her.
Leah was not sure if she wanted to but yet..it is not like she did not want to talk to her mother about it. She sat up on the bed and looked at her mother.
“Do I really have to go to school?” Leah asked a question this time.
“Yes.” Aziraphale answered. Leah let out a sigh.
“I do not hate school but..it is just so different this year.” Leah told him.
“In what way is it different?” Aziraphale wanted to know. Leah shrugged.
“It is just not as fun as it used to be. At least for me, it is not as fun. And everyone just seems that they still want nothing to do with me. Though, I am happy to have just Cybil because she truly understands me. Still..I feel so sad and down because there is nothing much to learn for me anymore. And at the end of the day, I am so tired that I do not want to really do much but sleep.” Leah explained to her mother.
Aziraphale felt so bad for her. He has noticed that Leah has been much of herself lately and now, he knows why Leah has been like this.
“I am so sorry that you have been feeling this way, sweetheart. Is there anything that Papa or I can do for you?”He said then asked.
“I am not sure. I have tried everything but nothing seemed to be working.” Leah said back. Aziraphale suddenly hugged his daughter. To his surprise, Leah quickly hugged him back. The warmth from him was giving her comfort.
“And honestly, that is okay. It is okay to be sad.” Aziraphale told her. Leah looked up at him.
“It is?” Leah asked. He gave her a nod back.
“How long will it take for me to feel happy again?” Leah asked.
“Whenever you feel like you are ready, Leah. I know that it is not easy nor do you not feel like this but please, take your time to heal. You will be happy again. I promise.” Aziraphale advised her. Leah understood as she kept hugging him.
“So..I can be sad if I wanted to?” Leah wanted to make sure.
“Of course.” Aziraphale replied.
“Do you ever feel sad?” Leah asked another question.
“Sometimes I do but when I am with you and your papa, I feel happy.” He explained to her, too. Leah smiled. It was the first time that she has smiled in a while that Aziraphale has seen from her.
“I feel happy when I am with you and Papa, too. I love you, Mama.” Leah said back.
“I love you, too, darling. More than I can put into words.” Aziraphale spoke back.
“Me too.” Leah spoke up. He also gave her a kiss on the top of the head.
“Is it okay if we stay like this for a little longer? I am really enjoying this.” Leah wanted. He did not mind that.
“Yes. You can hug me for as long as you need to. I do not have to go anywhere.” Aziraphale answered. Leah got comfortable in her Mum’s arms. A little bit of sadness she was feeling did start to disappear. It was not totally gone but it seems like she needed this hug. It was like a jump-start to feel happy again.
“I am so glad that my mum and dad understand. I guess I really needed this. Thank you, mum.” Leah thought to herself. Leah was still going to have to go to school but now, she knows that it is okay to feel the way she does. And just like Aziraphale told her, she was going to take her time to heal her sadness. As far as school being boring..there wasn't much that she could really do about that but make the best of it until the end of the year.
For right now, Leah and Aziraphale just stayed on the bed, hugging and cuddling on the bed together.
And remember, it is truly okay to feel sad when we do not feel our best because in the end, things will be fine. Also, take time to heal for as long as it takes. Even if it is one day at a time.
The End