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Angel. What an incredibly ironic name for a demon. Granted, he named himself after the drug that killed him, but the irony isn’t lost on him.
He’s no angel. He’s simply, Angel Dust, infamous porn star. The porn demon, depending on who you ask. And the fame is nice. Hell, that’s what he sold his soul for after all. If he didn’t enjoy it that’d be a waste.
And most of the time, he did enjoy it. He liked being famous, having his name known by almost every denizen of Hell. He liked being able to cash in all the money he got from it. He liked feeling seen.
But now, he just feels watched. And all the stares feel wrong. The money feels dirty in his hands. His name starts sounding like an insult.
He sighs, inspecting his reflection in the mirror. He tries to find something new he likes about himself every day. After a while of his work, he started hating his own reflection. All he could see was all the reasons he’s used and broken repeatedly. Valentino’s words play in his mind, like a really fucked up broken record.
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Angel shakes his head, hard. Maybe if he shakes it hard enough, Valentino will disappear completely. Angel makes eye contact with himself in the mirror, the mismatched eyes he hates so much filling with tears slowly. Angel blinks aggressivley, angry with himself for crying.
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
“No crying.” He tells himself firmly.
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
He walks out of his bathroom, collapsing on his bed. The fluff of the blankets and throw pillows around him ground him somewhat. Enough that he can take a deep breath, Valentino’s voice playing through his head a bit fainter.
Useless…. fat…. ugly…. stupid…. bitch….
Fat Nuggets climbs up onto his bed with effort, nudging one of Angel’s hands. Angel smiles at him, scooping him up and holding him tight to his chest.
Useless… whore…. bitch….
Angel takes a deep breath, reaching over to the radio Alastor had placed in every room in the hotel, and switching it on.
“So I say, dearly, dearly beloved, be mine.”
Useless… bitch….
“So I say, dearly, oh dearly beloved, be mine. Tell me that it’s true. Tell me you agree, I was meant for you. You were meaaant fooor meee.”
bitch….
Angel takes another deep breath, Valentino’s voice finally fading out of his thoughts and his head. He relaxes into his pillows, petting Fat Nuggets, and continuing to breathe deeply. He can smell strawberries and a faint smell of cinnamon.
“Dream, and they might come true.”
The radio continued, and Angel noticed idly as he was drifting off that all the songs that were being played were love songs.
💔
“Angel, please.” Charlie practically begs.
Angel fights the urge to roll his eyes. He came down for something to eat and ended up getting cornered by the princess, urging him to participate in today’s trust exercise.
“I don’t see why I gotta.” Angel huffs, looking around the room for an excuse. His eyes stop at Alastor. “Smiles doesn’t havta do it, why do I?!”
Charlie glances over to Alastor, who is defintley hearing the whole conversation but is acting like he can’t. “Because it’s Alastor.” She says finally.
“So?”
Charlie taps her foot and tugs on her ponytail. Enough time at the hotel has shown Angel that this is a nervous tic of hers. “So, he’s… Alastor.” She repeats. “Look, Angel, just today.”
Angel clicks his tongue thoughtfully. “M’kay,” He agrees. Charlie brightens up but Angel puts a hand up to stop her from getting overexcited. “If, you can get Smiles to come too.”
“Why?”
“‘Cause if I havta do it, everyone hasta do it,” Angel says, smiling smugly.
“Alastor,” Charlie calls the demon over hesitantly.
He moves with the shadows, appearing beside the princess in an instant. “Yes?”
“Would you please participate in today’s trust exercise?” She asks sweetly.
“And what does that entail?” He asks, his voice as joyful as ever.
“Well today we’re doing another show and tell after the last one ended…” She shoots a look at Angel before turning back to Alastor. “Unpleasently.”
“So, lika talent show?” Angel cuts in. “‘Cause I can do that.”
“Sure!” Charlie claps, her eyes brightening. “Actually, that’s a much better idea!"
“Really?” Angel and Alastor say together. Angel shoots him a look that he purposefully ignores.
“Yeah! I was just going to have you guys draw something you like and share it but this is going to be much more fun!” Charlie smiles widely. "We'll postpone it for a few days so people can practice but it's a good idea!"
“I do not wish to participate in that,” Alastor says.
Charlie shoots Angel an anxious look. “I’ll still do it.” He sighs. She hugs him tightly before he can escape.
Right before she goes to leave, she pauses, turning to look at Angel. “Oh and please no… stripping, or sex. Or anything inappropriate.”
“As you wish princess.” Angel winks. She runs off and Angel returns to his room, completely forgetting the original reason he went downstairs.
Unfortunately for him, he also forgot that he needed to eat in general, too wrapped up in what he wanted to do for his talent. A few hours after his conversation with the princess, Angel is still rushing around his room, trying to pull together an outfit for his planned talent.
He stops walking for a few seconds, his head suddenly spinning. “Angel?” He turns, almost passing out with the effort, to see Alastor standing in the doorway. “Are you alright?”
“Fine, just a lil dizzy.” He says, sitting down on his bed. He puts a hand to his head, closes his eyes, and takes a few deep breaths.
“Would you like some water?” Alastor asks, staying in the doorway. His smile is the same as always, maybe a tad strained, and there’s genuine concern in his eyes.
Angel shakes his head and immediately regrets it when a wave of nausea crashes over him. He puts one of his other hands over his mouth, focusing solely on his breath. He curses himself internally for forgetting to eat, such a simple and stupid mistake.
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
“Angel?”
Angel risks opening his eyes to glance at Alastor, who’s looking at him with a bit of fear. “Are you okay?”
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
“I’m fine, Smiles.” He tries to laugh, cringing at how shaky it comes out.
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Something seems to dawn on the Radio Demon as he turns on his heel and disappears into the shadows. “Bye?” Angel calls after him, confused.
In the absence of a distraction, his voice comes back, playing at full volume.
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
“No, no, no, no, no.” Angel repeats quietly, threading his top set of hands into his hair and pulling. He has to pull fairly hard to get any sort of bodily reaction, considering how many people have used hair-pulling as a special request from Angel. But when he feels the sting of pain, Valentino’s voice seems to stop for that moment. The second he can’t feel it anymore it comes back.
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
“I brought some fruit!” Alastor says, suddenly appearing in the middle of Angel’s room. Angel jumps, looking blankly at the tray of fruit in the demon’s hand.
“Huh?”
Alastor places the tray at the foot of Angel’s bed. Angel looks at it, his stomach grumbling. But the pain in his stomach caused the voice to quiet down. Angel’s torn, wanting to eat so his head stops spinning but not wanting to hear Valentino again.
He decides the spinning is worse and grabs a strawberry, popping it in his mouth. He’s suddenly aware that Alastor is still standing in his room, watching him.
“Sorry, Smiles,” Angel says sheepishly. “Didja need somethin’?”
“Oh, yes.” Alastor seemed to come back to himself, shaking his head slightly. “I wanted to know what you were planning for the talent show.”
“Oh.” Angel took another strawberry, as well as a piece of mango. “Uh, I was going to dance. And maybe sing.”
“Sing what?”
“‘It’s Been A Long, Long Time.’” Angel tells him, chewing on a blueberry.
Alastor nods, sitting on the chair at Angel’s vanity. “Doris Day, I’m familiar.”
They lapse into awkward silence, Angel occasionally grabbing fruit from the platter. At some point, he offers some to Alastor, who laughs lightly. “No thank you dear, not quite my tastes.”
“Hey, Al?”
“Yes, Angel?”
“I needa partna for my dance, do you know howta waltz?” Angel asks slowly, staring pointedly at the now-empty platter. His head isn’t spinning anymore, which is good.
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
“I do.” He nods, fiddling with his microphone. “Would you like me to be your dance partner?”
“If ya don’t mind,” Angel replies, looking up hopefully.
“Not at all, my dear. I love waltzing.” Alastor says, actual excitement in his voice.
“Awesome!” Angel hops up. “So you’ll help me out?”
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
“Gladly!” Alastor stands up and suddenly they’re in the ballroom. Angel looks down, confused. Somehow he had been changed into a ball gown. It’s gorgeous, light blue in color, and off the shoulder. Upon closer inspection, he noticed that there were little flowers embroidered into it.
“Oh.”
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
“Do you like it? I can change it if you wish.” Alastor says, looking pretty much the same. His suit was a shade darker but other than that he looked the same.
“No, this is…” Angel is genuinely lost for words. He looks… amazing. He actually, genuinely looks beautiful.
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
“Then,” Alastor places his microphone against the wall, turning to face Angel. He bows down with a flourish, presenting his hand to the spider. “May I have this dance?”
Angel can’t help it, he giggles as he accepts the Radio Demon’s hand. “You may.” His laugh turns into a small squeak as Alastor quickly pulls him into position for a waltz. There isn’t much of a height difference between them, only about a foot, but it still takes a second for them to get situated.
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Alastor’s microphone starts a slow tune, not the one that Angel is planning to sing but the beat is pretty similar.
Useless… unlovable…. fat…. ugly…. whore…. stupid…. fuck up…. bitch….
Angel and Alastor bow to each other, both smiling widely. Angel keeps his bottom pair of hands to himself, keeping him balanced. As for the top pair, one of his hands took Alastor’s and the other rested on the top of Alastor’s other arm.
They stepped to the side, slowly spinning around the room as they danced. Angel takes his hand off Alastor’s upper arm, allowing him to spin him. Angel can’t help but smile as his dress fans out below him. He gets back into the original position, continuing to slowly rotate around the ballroom.
Alastor spins him again and Angel giggles. They get to the center of the ballroom and pause, pushing away from each other before pulling each other in. They repeat the process, Alastor spinning Angel again at the end of it.
They keep one of their hands together, moving until they are both facing the front. Alastor turns his head, his smile obviously excited. Angel smiles back at him, also excited. They pull each other closer, Alastor spinning Angel again. Angel starts to think he might pass out if he is spun anymore.
They face each other again, holding each other’s hand on one side and using the other to mimic a sweeping motion. They start rotating slowly around the ballroom again until the music crescendos, causing Alastor to dip Angel as it stops.
He pulls Angel back up. Angel smiles widely at him, panting slightly. “Wow, Al. You weren’t kiddin’. You’re good.”
Alastor dramatically bows at Angel, looking up at him. “Thank you, my dear. It was a pleasure.” He melts into the shadows, leaving Angel to stand in the ballroom alone, slightly breathless.
He didn’t notice until he was about to fall asleep that he hadn’t heard Valentino’s voice for a while.