Work Text:
“Alastor, you doin’ alright? Need any help in there?”
Rosie’s voice called through the doorway.
Alastor’s radio static increased as he finished stitching up his chest. Looking down, Alastor had to concede that sewing really wasn’t his strong suit as the stitches were just barely keeping his flesh together. Nifty would have done a much better job. Alastor pulled his clothes back on, wincing as he lifted his arms, and perfected his signature smile before leaving the room.
”Rosie my dear, I’m fine and dandy now that the fighting’s over”, Alastor flung an arm around the cannibal overlord. “The only real problem is that my stash of deer got lost in the rubble and the king of hell didn’t bother replacing the kitchens when he renovated that ridiculous hotel”
Rosie smiled but narrowed her eyes that told Alastor she saw right through his bullshit.
”Well lucky for you, I happen to have a nice juicy head from a poor deer demon that got ran over last week. You go sit down and wait in the parlor while I get the food ready”
Rosie sweetly forced Alastor into her comfiest couch and gave him one more you better rest or I’ll eat you myself looks before making her way to the kitchen, turning on her radio as she left.
On any normal day, Alastor would have gladly eaten a deer completely raw. However this day was not normal and Alastor’s body refused to swallow the cold, raw meat.
“Oh Al honey, you musta got hurt real bad if you’re strugglin’ to eat”, Rosie’s concerned voice floated somewhere to Alastor’s left side. “But you gotta eat somethin’ hun”
Alastor grimaced, “Perhaps I can keep something hot down, at least for now”
“Somethin’ hot hmmmm”, Rosie hummed to herself as she thought. “Oh remember Nellie Lovett? She’s sure to have some fresh demon meat pies somewhere in her shop.
Alastor tilted his head as he tried to remember who Rosie was talking about. “Mrs. Lovett’s pie shop? I’m surprised she’s still in business”
“Oh yeah you’ve been gone a while Al”, Rosie commented. “Last year Nells revamped her recipe and got really popular around here. In fact we coulda really used your radio broadcast ‘cause Nellie kept advertising her pies through singing everywhere. Ya know, she even dyed her hair blonde, which good for her ‘cause she really needed some color, oh I’m rambling again aren’t I? You just sit tight and I’ll give her a call”
Rosie picked up the old rotary phone (the one she kept specifically knowing Alastor’s hatred for new technology), and dialed a number.
“Hey Nellie sweetheart, how are ya?…. Oh don’t worry about me, I’m doin’ just fine… Well, I’m calling to see what pies are currently in your ovens… Mmhmm… Yeah yeah… Oh that’s a new one…Give me one minute dear”
Rosie covered the speaker with her hand and turned to Alastor, “She’s got most of the classics baking, whatcha in the mood for Al?”
Alastor jerked up and immediately hissed in pain. Trying so hard to not lose the last of his composure he said, “I don’t have a particular preference right this moment, and besides you always have excellent taste my dear”
Rosie nodded and uncovered the phone speaker. “Alright, I’ll take a couple of the classic priests, and whatever new recipes you’ve been cookin’ up… Okay, see you soon darling”
After eating freshly baked demon meat pies, Alastor had to admit that he would have liked to see Mrs. Lovett’s renaissance comeback in this part of hell. At the very least he wished he could have broadcasted her songs.