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Maki is not someone to worry easily. She's a hardened assassin, and worrying about others is something she's just slowly getting used to again. Something that would have gotten her killed too easily before all this.
But when she gets word from Kiyotaka that Chihiro has gone missing from class, she's on high alert. Chihiro has been joining her training sessions with Kaito and Shuichi for a while now, and against Maki's will, she made another friend. Chihiro is cheerful and optimistic, and her energy is infectious. She's an eager and hard working student...
So going missing during classes without telling anyone seems to be wildly out of character for her.
Maki checks Chihiro's lab first, to no result. For good measure, she checks her own lab too - Chihiro has a key, she's come over often enough - but finds it empty as well. The dojo is empty too, and the yard deserted.
When the bell rings to class again, Maki only has one place left to search: the bathroom.
She silently pushes the door to the girl's bathroom open and immediately gets greeted by quiet sobs. The outer stall is locked, and Maki pauses. Is she being intrusive? She has no idea what Chihiro could be dealing with, and Maki knows she's not the most socially adept.
Yet, she cares about Chihiro. She cares so much that the thought of leaving a crying Chihiro behind makes her heart ache. So she gently presses her hand against the door and takes a deep, loud breath to announce her presence.
"Fujisaki?"
The crying stops immediately. "Harukawa-san?", comes the shaky response. Chihiro hiccups. "Sorry, now's not a good time..."
"Ishimaru was worried about you... And I am, too. You don't have to talk, just... Please open up?"
There's a long pause. A sensible person would have left, but Maki is a lot of things. Not sensible. Barely anything really makes her nervous. On missions, she's made of steel. But now she finds herself anxiously tugging on her hair.
Eventually, the door unlocks and slowly swings open. Chihiro looks up at her, her eyes puffy and red, her face swollen and stained by streaks of tears. They've stained her green top, too, her school bag lays in a sea of crumpled toilet paper.
"Hey", Maki says softly, "What's wrong?"
Chihiro rubs her eyes. "I'm... I just, I'm... You're going to hate me. I'm sorry for lying! I'm such a fraud..." Chihiro's head drops, staring at her shoes.
Maki presses her lips into a tight line, gently reaches out her hands and takes Chihiro's hands into hers. She's shaking, so much. She's cold.
"Fujisaki, are you hurting yourself?"
It comes out blunt, and Chihiro audibly gasps. "How did you...?"
"Intuition."
Maki can see healed scars on her wrists. She knows all to well how to conceal those, so her keen eye spots them even with the concealer on them. "Did anything happen? Who do I need to kill?"
Chihiro laughs. It's a choked up, dry sound, and new tears spring to her eyes. "Me, if possible."
"Nonsense." She lets go of Chihiro's hands in favor of wrapping her arms around the girl. Chihiro shudders, her breath hitching in the back of her throat.
"Why can't I just be normal?", Chihiro whimpers, "Why can't I just... fit in? I hate it. I'm lying to everyone! I hate it, I hate it!" Chihiro sags in Maki's hold, and Maki gently lets both of them sink to the floor when Chihiro's knees give out.
Chihiro is leaning against Maki's chest now, crying again, and Maki runs her fingers through her short curly hair. "What are you talking about?", she dares to ask.
Chihiro whines and presses her face into the fabric of Maki's sweater. "I... Harukawa-san, I'm so sorry, I... I'm..." She tries to take a deep breath, but her nose is clogged. Maki tugs a pack of tissue papers out of her pocket and hands it to Chihiro. She cleans her nose and crumples the tissue in her fist.
"I was... born a boy. I'm just... I'm just pretending. I'm just dressing like a girl... I've never been a girl..."
Maki feels her entire body tremble under her touch. How long has Chihiro beaten herself up over this? Is this the reason she's hurting herself? How often has she hidden in here, crying her eyes out without anyone at her side? Doesn't Maki know best what that's like?
"Hm. So you don't want to be called a girl?"
"I do!" The response comes instantaneous. Chihiro sniffles. "Am I just faking? Shouldn't I just... Try to be manlier? I can't keep wearing skirts... This isn't normal... I'm just weak. I lied to you all..."
Maki huffs, not stopping stroking Chihiro's hair. "This reminds me of a story I used to tell at the orphanage."
Chihiro turns very quiet. She still sniffles, but the tears quieten down.
"Once upon a time, there was a little duckling. When he hatched along his brothers and sisters, he was promptly bullied, because he looked so much different from his siblings. Figuring his own family despises him, he wanders off alone to live with wild ducks and geese until the flocks get killed by hunters. Alone once again, the little duckling finds a home with an old lady, but the cat and hen make fun of him too, so he sets off alone yet again."
Chihiro's breathing has calmed down. Maki would nearly think she has fallen asleep, but she's still fumbling with the tissue in her hand.
"The duckling sees a group of beautiful swans, but figures he is too hideous to join them. He spends the winter miserable, alone and sad. When winter ends, he finally decides to join the swans, fully prepared to get mocked or even killed. But the swans openly welcome the little duckling, and looking at his reflection, he realizes she's never been a duck, but a swan all along. She only needed others to see her true self."
Maki stops carding her fingers through Chihiro's hair. Chihiro leans back, looking at Maki with her big hazel eyes. Maki offers what she hopes is a reassuring smile.
"So, you're a little swan thinking you're a duck, when you don't even know swans exist. You get mocked and laughed at and you hate yourself for being so different. But you were never meant to be a duck. You're a swan. There was never something wrong with you at all. The world just didn't let you be yourself."
Chihiro's mouth opens and closes. She clasps her hands and presses them against her chest. "I'm a girl", she whispers, "I... I'm a swan."
"You're a swan. You just need to learn how to fly." Maki nods and taps her finger against Chihiro's nose. "For the record, you never lied to anyone. You're you. You're figuring out who you are and who you want to be. That's no lie." She rolls her eyes. "I could tell if you're lying, dealing with that purple pest on the daily."
Chihiro giggles. "Ouma-kun isn't that bad..."
"Have you met him?"
Chihiro balks, and this time, Maki laughs.
"Flying sounds hard when you've never used your wings." Chihiro balls her fists. "Will you watch me try?"
"Absolutely."
Chihiro nods solemnly, before her eyes widen. "Oh, I've made you miss class! I'm so sorry..."
"I think I can afford to miss science." Maki slowly shuffles out of their hold and gets up, offering Chihiro her hand. "I will let you live, under one condition. Training today."
Chihiro giggles. Her face lights up like the sun, and Maki's heart skips a beat.
"Understood!", Chihiro chirps and takes her hand. Maki easily pulls her to her feet, and Chihiro stumbles. Sometimes, she forgets how much stronger she is.
"Careful-" Maki stops. She realizes she has never, not once, worried about a person this much ever since she's been made an assassin. This is more than what she feels for Kaito and Shuichi. Something new and scary and...
"Oh!" Chihiro swirls around, quickly tidying up the bathroom stall she was hiding in, tossing the paper into the trashcan.
Maki steps into the stall and takes Chihiro's backpack. "It's almost break, anyway. What do you think about a muffin?"
Chihiro beams, and Maki briefly sways as she throws her arms around Maki's. "I'd love to!"
Maki's heart hammers at her throat. They leave the bathroom, and Maki swears from now on, she will use her strength to help Chihiro learn to fly.
