Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Wylan laid in bed the night before the auction. He couldn’t help thinking about how everything could go wrong the next day. Anything could happen. The plan could fail. Wylan shuddered at the mere thought of what would happen to them if it did go wrong. But they’d come this far. It had to work. It just had too. But what if it didn’t?

He just laid there. Letting his thoughts carry on until he drifted into sleep.

He was back on the boat.

Fingers closed around his throat. He felt himself losing air. And quickly.

Then all the sudden he was in the water, flying from the boat. He hit with a cold splash, freezing him from the moment he touches.

He tried to raise his arms to swim to the surface, but finds he can’t. He falls slowly to the bottom.

Bang!

Wylan is standing in his father’s office as requested. Now thirteen again, waiting on his father to tell him what he’s done now to disappoint him. Waiting on the harsh words and possible beating he knew would come. 

The door opened slowly, but Wylan could practically feel the anger radiating off Jan Van Eck.

“Wylan.”

Wylan looked towards the ground when he replied, “Father.”

Jan Van Eck hit the side of his head quite suddenly, “Look at me when I’m speaking to you!”

Willing himself not to cry from the stinging pain, Wylan looked into his father’s eyes.

“Your tutors tell me that you have made no improvement all. That you continue to fail me.” He practically spat.

Wylan wanted to look away so badly, but instead he just continued to look is father in the eyes, “I’m sorry.”

“Being sorry won’t fix you!” He yelled at his son, “Being sorry won’t stop you from being defective!”

Wylan couldn’t stop the tear that slipped out from the corner of his eye, “I’m trying Father, I really am.”

Jan Van Eck drew his arm back and hit. And again. And again.

Wylan backed against the wall as quickly as he could, for I himself down to protect his head and chest before his father could stop him. 

Jan Van Eck continued to hit him. Until he was sobbing so hard he could barely even move despite the blows. 

Wylan stayed like that until he heard his father walk away. When he heard the footsteps back away and the door open and shut, announcing his fathers departure, he let himself relax some.

That was his mistake.

His father had never left the room.  

The next blow hit his head, causing him to pass out.

Wylan woke abruptly from the nightmare. He was drenched in sweat, and clammy. He sat up slowly in bed, and took note of how quickly he was breathing. Before he even started thinking about the nightmare, he heard his fathers voice.

Disgrace

Failure

Disappointment  

Wylan took a deep breath, willing the thoughts to go away. To fade to nothing. He didn’t want the torment of this. His father. Who after tomorrow, he might never see again.

You will never be good enough for anyone

Stupid

Illiterate

Fool

Tears were streaming down his face involuntarily, and his breathing had somehow become even more shallow. He reached over for the glass of water on his nightstand, but was shaking so badly he spilled most of it before it even made to his mouth.

Disgrace

This time Wylan took a the biggest breath he could at the moment, which wasn’t that big, and said out loud, “I am not a disgrace.”

He may have said the words, but he didn’t really believe them. He knew that he was the one at fault. 

Disappointment  

“I am not a disappointment.”

Failure

Fool

Illiterate 

Weak

Wylan pulled his knees up to his chest, burying his head in his arms, willing the voices to fade away. He sobbed loudly, trying to force himself to think about something else, anything else. Just to escape the torture of his own head. 

You don’t deserve anything. None of the friends that you somehow have. Not Inej, not Nina, not Kaz, not Matthias. And especially not Jesper. He could do so much better then a disgrace son who can’t do what a child half your age can.

That time it wasn’t his fathers voice speaking. It was his own. He didn’t want to think that, but he just couldn’t help it. He knew he didn’t belong among the others. That he was useless. A wasted investment. Unable to even read a sign or a simple book cover. He really hated himself sometimes.

You deserve nothing. You’re nothing but a defective burden. Making everyone take care of you because you’re too pathetic to try. 

Before he had even though about moving, Wylan had curled into a corner of the room. He buried his head back in his arms and let the sobs push through. Believing every word inside his head against his own will. 

Why are you even still here. You should have just let your father finish the job. Let those men kill you. No one would have cared. Not a person left who would even try to find him.

By now he could barely breath. Each small gasp felt like he was being choked all over again. He couldn’t help but move his hands to the spot around his throat where only six months ago he was almost killed. But instead of finding hands breaking off his airway, he only found the wetness from the tears that had run off his face. 

Sobbing in the corner like a child. But you’re a disgraced child. A defective one. One who deserves NOTHING

Wylan sprang up quickly. He almost hit the wall, but he was beyond caring at this point. He  knew who he needed. Assuming he wouldn’t turn him away, when he saw what a wreck he’d become. And in only one night. 

He needed Jesper. 

Wylan needed someone, who wouldn’t judge him for what he was upset about. But right now with how he couldn’t even think straight, he wasn’t even sure if Jesper would help him.

He stumbled over to the doorway slowly. He was unsure if he was doing the right thing by seeking assistance from Jesper. But right now he just really wanted a hug, and soothing words.

He almost fell over twice before managing to make his way to Jespers room. 

He hesitated for a second, his hand raised, but then brought it down, hard enough to be heard, but also not too loud.

He heard Jesper get out of bed, slowly, and tread over to the door.

Then it opened.

—————————

Jesper had been dreaming when a soft knock on his door had woken him. He expected it to be Kaz. Needing him for something last minute in the middle of the night. That thought made him grumble to himself.

He stood up slowly and padded over to the door, opening it slowly.

He had expected it to be Kaz. What he had not expected was it to be Wylan. Tears slowly dripping down his cheeks as he stared at the ground, breathing way to quickly. He looked like he was on the brink of passing out.

Jesper spoke before the merchling could get his mouth open to form words, “Wy? What’s wrong?”

Wylan looked up at him, and spoke so quietly Jesper could barely hear him, “I…I had a n-nightmare, and couldn’t s-stand being alone.”

New tears formed in his eyes. Jesper wanted to grab hold of him and never let go. He hated seeing Wylan like this, and wanted nothing more then to help him. Instead he reached out and grabbed the younger boys hand and lead him into the bedroom where they would have more privacy.

Jesper lead him over to the bed. He sat back against the headboard and gestured for Wylan to join him. Wylan didn’t need to be told twice. He quickly followed him and hugged him tightly, his sobs pushing through and shaking his small body.

Jesper could have sworn his heart shattered at the sight. The sound of sobs coming from Wylan made him want to start crying as well. But he couldn’t. He needed to be here for Wylan. He needed to control himself to make sure Wylan was okay.

Jesper carefully wrapped his arms around Wylan, “Shhhh…You’re okay. You’re safe. Nothing is going to hurt you.” He wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to say, but Wylan could barely talk for all the sobbing he was doing.

Jesper tried repeating that a few times, but to no effect. He then decided to try a trick his mother used to do with him when he was younger. It always helped him calm down when he was worked up over something and could only hope that it would now help Wylan.

He grasped one of Wylan’s hands and brought it up to his chest. He felt Wylan try to pull away at first, but then let his arm go slack, letting Jesper continue.

“Wylan, can you try and take a deep breath?” Jesper went on, “Inhale…exhale.”

They tried that a couple of times and, to Jespers relief, Wylan’s breathing was getting better. After a while Wylan pulled back and sat with his legs crossed, back to the head board, still crying, but not in any danger from passing out at that moment. Jesper noted how he didn’t bother taking his hand back from Jespers chest.

“Thanks Jesper.”

Jesper rubbed his back affectionately, “Of course Wy. Are you feeling better?”

Wylan considered for a moment before answering, “Yes, and no.”

“Anything specific bothering you?” Jesper asked him, wanting to help in anyway he can to get rid of whatever is troubling the younger one.

Wylan started to shake his head, but paused. Instead he nodded slowly, “I just-I had a nightmare about my-my father.” He sniffled loudly, and leaned into Jesper again. Jesper didn’t mind in the slightest. 

“I’m really sorry Wy. You deserve so much better than that man as your father.”

Wylan shook his head against Jesper shoulder, “He wouldn’t be like this if I could just read.”

“Wylan, listen to me. You being unable to read is not an excuse for the way your father treated you.” Jesper said, surprising himself with his seriousness, “That man has no excuses whatsoever for what he did to you.”

Wylan sighed, “Maybe, but he’s not wrong for hating his moron of a son.”

“Wylan, you are not a moron!” Jesper grabbed Wylan’s hands in his own, “You aren’t even close to being one!”

Wylan didn’t say anything. He just squeezed Jespers hands back. Jesper watched as Wylan took another deep shuddering breath. He was pleased that most of the tears had dried up as well.

“Thanks Jes.”

“Of course Wy.”

They were Silent for a moment, but the. Wylan asked, “Jesper can—”Wylan blushed a fiery red, “Can I stay in here tonight? With you?”

Jesper hugged him again, “Sure.” 

Jesper pulled back the covers and laid down on one side, and Wylan on the other.

“Jes?”

“Yeah Wy?”

“You really don’t think bad of me?” His bright blue, eyes were wide awaiting Jespers answer.

Jesper pulled him into another hug, “Wylan how could I ever think badly of you?” 

Wylan shrugged, “I’m not sure.”

“I would never think badly of you Wy.” Wylan burrowed into his arms making himself comfortable.

“Goodnight Jesper. And thank you. Again.”

“You’re welcome Wy. Sleep well.”

Jesper waited until Wylan fell asleep in his arms. It was the most adorable thing ever. Then when he was positive the young boy was a asleep, he kissed his forehead so gently.

He wished every night he could fall asleep with this beautiful boy in his arms.

Chapter Text

Jesper took a deep breath. He had just shot that wreck of a boy, Kuwei, with the waxy bullet. So far everything was going according to plan. He glanced over and saw Kaz and Wylan standing together. 

He rushed over with Inej following him.

“Wylan!” He exclaimed pulling Wylan carefully close, watching his injuries, “Saints, is all that real?”

“I wanted it to be believable.” Wylan said, squeezing him tightly back. Whimpering slightly, clearly in pain. 

Jesper kissed his forehead gently and pulled him closer, just glad he was safe. He was so worried he barely heard Kaz talking.”

“—Jesper stay with Wylan. Their going to want to question him.”

“I’m fine.” Wylan said from Jespers arms, but with that swollen lip it sounded more like, “I’b Fibe.”

Kaz and Inej left then, leaving them on their own. Carefully, Jesper guided Wylan over to a bench.

He tried to help Wylan sit but he shook away Jespers hand, “I’m fine Jes.”

Jesper restrained from insisting on helping him.  He hated seeing Wylan in pain. He wanted to take it all away and suffer in his stead. Instead he just took Wylan’s hand when he sat down, and squeezed it reassuringly. Wylan squeezed it back.

“Are you okay now?”

Wylan looked up at him, tears in his wide, blue eyes from the pain, and shook his head. 

“Jesper ran a hand through his hair, “What’s wrong?”

When Wylan spoke his voice sounded tense, “It’s my ribs. I broke them. Badly. It just hurts…” He couldn’t keep talking. It clearly hurt to badly to talk.

“Shhh, you’re okay now.” Jesper carefully wiped the tears from Wylan’s eyes, letting him lean into his shoulder. Even beat up like this, he was still the most beautiful person Jesper had ever seen. He wanted to kiss him so badly. But didn’t want to cause the younger boy anymore pain by kissing him. So he settled for another hand squeeze.

Alyss came and sat on Wylan’s other side after a few minutes. Wylan’s eyes, dryer now, were closed softly, while he breathed deeply. He seemed to be in more pain then he had let on. And Jesper knew it wasn’t just the cracked ribs that were bothering him. It was his father.

They sat in silence for a while. Wylan and Jesper holding hands gently, waiting for what was to come. Just as Jesper had been glancing at Wylan’s again, the merchling smiled softly.

“What are you so happy about?” Jesper asked him.

Wylan leaned closer to him and whispered so Alyss wouldn’t hear, “We did it. And I know Kaz had his own motives, but I’m pretty sure that we just helped prevent a war.”

Alyss suddenly piped up, “When do you think we’ll get to go home?”

Jesper glanced at Wylan. Wylan looked like he was trying to stop himself from laughing.

They broke the eye contact as Jesper watched a man run up the isle to Radmakker at the front of the church. Jan Van Eck was shouting at the stadwatch officer who was putting shackles on him. Jesper could hardly believe his eyes. But his surprise ended when Wylan stood up to get a better look. He hissed in pain, so Jesper jumped up quickly to help steady him. 

“This is Brekker’s work,” Jan Van Eck shot out, “He set up the fund. Find the farmer. Find Pekka Rollins. They’ll tell you. 

Radmakker whispered furiously to him. But that only seemed to anger Van Eck farther. He continued on.

“Self-control? When you have me in chains?” He shouted.

Radmakker tried to silence him again. Van Eck really wasn’t having it though. Jesper sighed inwardly to himself. He loved Wylan, but his father is possibly one of the worst parents he’s ever even heard of. Most story’s he grew up with might have had bad parents, but never to the extent of this man. His lovely boyfriends(?) terrible father. 

Poor Alyss just sat there, oblivious to most of what was going on. Poor girl Jesper thought to himself. It’s not like she did anything wrong to be with him. Just her parents wanting her to marry rich. 

Jesper watched as she held Wylan’s other hand, squeezing it as she watched her husband be chained. Wylan assured her it would be okay when she asked if Jan would be home later that night. 

Jan was giving Alyss instructions when Kaz came back. 

“I don’t think Alyss will be able to help with that.” Kaz said.

Jesper stiffened when Jan responded, mentioning the farmer, who was actually his father. 

As everything came together Jesper thought it couldn’t get much worse then what was already going on. But that was before Jan Van Eck said what he did.

“He can’t read, can barely string a basic sentence together on the page. He is an idiot, a soft minded child.”

Jesper watched in horror, as Wylan stood petrified on the spot. Jesper gripped his hand tighter. Wylan shot him a quick glance before his gaze returned to his father, and the other councilmen. 

Then it got even worse when Jan Van Eck suggested Wylan read something. Radmakker told him he didn’t have to, but instead to Jespers surprise, Wylan agreed. 

Wylan turned and met Jespers eyes again. He had asked to get a Transfer of Authority. Jesper quickly understood what Wylan intended. 

When the folder was offered to Wylan, Jesper took it. He opened it and saw almost exactly what he had read out loud to Wylan as Saint Hilde. The only difference was the names.

He handed the folder over to Wylan, “I think your first investment should be a muzzle,” Jesper muttered.

Wylan then opened it, and from perfect memoization, repeated everything on the page. Jesper couldn’t help but be a bit in awe of how good his memoization was. It really must be a good thing Wylan doesn’t gamble, he thought to himself, he would be just as good as Kaz. 

After he finished Jan Van Eck broke away from his guards, and in the moment of fury, rushed at Wylan. Jesper, however, quickly stepped in front and grabbed his shoulders to keep him from Wylan.

“You’ll destroy everything I’ve built, everything my father and his father built! You—”

Jan Van Eck never finished his rant, because then Jesper leaned forward, and so quietly so only Van Eck and Wylan could here him, said, “I can read to him.”

Wylan then said from behind him, “He has a very soothing baritone.”

Jan Van Eck was practically howling as the guards pulled him back down the isle and escorted him out of the building. 

It was then decided that Alyss would be leaving the house and moving somewhere else for when she has the baby.

Jesper grabbed Wylan’s hand again and squeezed. The group then set off for the mansion.

🎶🔆❤️🗝️🪈

———————

Wylan took a breath. They had done it. His father was now on his way to Hellgate. Everything had worked out. 

When they arrived at his fathers—his mansion he reminded himself, Jesper squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. They stepped through the door, and everything came rushing back to him. Each time he was beaten, yelled at, cursed at. Each time he crawled into a hidden spot to cry. 

He didn’t stop though. Didn’t say anything was wrong. The hole in the ceiling was still there though. 

Jesper shook his head, grinning slightly, “You really should be more careful with your things.”

Wylan tried to grin. But he just couldn’t. It felt forced. He moved slowly, remembering everything that had happened to him in this house. When Kaz and him had broken in, there hadn’t been much time for these memories to come flooding in. But now there was. Jesper stayed with him, not moving more then a few feet away in each room.

When Wylan entered the music room for the first time in six months, he stopped and touched the piano briefly, “This was the only place in the house I was ever happy.”

Jesper moved closer, “Hopefully that can change now.”

Wylan took a breath, “I feel like an intruder. Like any minute, my father’s going to barge through that door and tell me to get out.”

Jesper took another step closer, “It will help when the papers are signed. Make it more permanent. You were pretty amazing back there, by the way.”

“I was terrified. I still am.” He played a gentle cord on the piano, before meeting Jespers eyes again, “Jes, did you mean what you told my father? Will you stay with me? Will you help me?”

Jesper was now leaning against the piano, surveying Wylan, “Let’s see. Live in a luxurious merch mansion, get waited on by servants, spend a little extra time with a budding demolitions expert who plays a mean flute? I guess I can manage it.” His eyes traveled Wylan’s curls to his feet, “But I do charge a pretty steep fee.”

Wylan felt himself pink, “Well, hopefully the medic will be here to fix my ribs soon,”

“Yeah?”

Wylan went even redder, “Yes, I’d like to make a down payment.”

Jesper laughed, sending a warm feeling through Wylan.

That night they all ate dinner on the floor in the music room. It was cold, as the cook had no plans, and no idea what to do with Jan Van Eck now awaiting trial. After dinner the group, excluding Alyss who had already retired, sat on the back steps, waiting for the others to get back. 

As night fell, they watched the boat arrive at the dock, by the boathouse. 

Wylan practically jumped up anxious to see them, “They made it!”

Before the others stood up, he was already rushing down to the dock. Jesper was quick to follow him, but when they walked in, the greetings died on their lips. 

Kuwei was being helped out of the boat slowly. He looked quite shaken, but Wylan could care less about that. Colm Fahey was still sitting in the boat, staring off into distance, but when he saw Jesper he couldn’t have gotten out of the boat quicker. He enveloped Jesper in a hug, and Wylan had to turn his head to stop himself from crying. But turning his head didn’t help. Because he saw Nina lying in the boat, her head resting on Matthias’s chest, unmoving, and ashen. 

Wylan didn’t try to stop the tears that followed seeing this. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. 

“How?” He heard Kaz say

“We still don’t know.” Inej replied, her voice slightly wet.

Wylan quietly walked out of the boathouse, to retrieve a blanket. But what he really needed was a moment alone. To help gather himself for what would be next. He’d watched people die. He’d even helped kill people, no matter how he tried to avoid it. But he’d never really lost someone like this. He’d thought he’d lost his mother. But he really didn’t, and she would be back soon. But someone he’d grown to rely on? A friend? He just wasn’t sure.

He brought the blanket back out to the boat house and spread it out in the corner. He watched Jesper step forward and help right lift his body and lay it on the blanket. The tears continued to roll down his face, and he didn’t bother trying to wipe them. 

Wylan helped them convert the boat, and after they all stepped into the garden. Only Inej and Nina remained in the boathouse with Matthias.

“We were all exposed to make it.” Wylan said softly, surprised he could even speak right now.

He silently slid his hand into Jespers, hoping he would squeeze it back. He did, and Wylan just couldn’t stop himself from crying harder.

Jesper took a deep breath, “No mourners.”

“No funerals.” They all replied.

They started walking back down to the boathouse, but before they left the garden, Wylan stopped and plucked a red tulip from the flower bed. The others watched him and in their turn took a red tulip. Even Kaz reluctantly plucked one. 

When Wylan entered the boathouse, he put his flower down a top Matthias’s chest. The others quickly did the same. They all stood there, almost everyone crying, and said their goodbyes.

When they were finished and Rotty was rowing away, Wylan turned to Nina, “Will you stay in Ravka?”

“Only long enough to arrange transport to Fjerda…”

But Wylan didn’t hear what she said next. He had felt someone squeeze his shoulder, and saw Jesper. Jesper used his other hand to wipe away Wylan’s tears slowly. It made Wylan feel a bit better.

They talked about what they were going to do with their money now that they had it. The one thing Wylan didn’t expect himself to do that night, however, was make a death threat.

They were all standing in the boathouse still, when Kuwei had turned to Jesper and said, “You should visit me in Ravka. We could learn to use our powers together.”

Wylan felt a surge of anger, and before he could stop himself said, “How about I push you  in the canal and we see if you know how to swim?” He glared at Kuwei.

Jesper squeezed his hand and said, “I’ve heard he’s one of the richest men in Ketterdam. I wouldn’t cross him.”

Kuwei just glared at the ground.

They stood there and watched Rotty push off with Matthias back out into the water. Not talking but just being in each others presence. Then they all relieved Kaz was gone. 

“Not one for goodbyes, is he?” Jesper muttered.

“He doesn’t say goodbye,” Inej said, “He just lets go.”

Silently everyone turned and walked out and back towards the mansion. Wylan and Jesper still holding hands. And together Wylan and Jesper walked back through the mansion doors, broken and hurting, but together.

Chapter Text

Jesper couldn’t stand it. Wylan was in so much pain. Jesper knew how stubborn the merchling could be however, and it took a lot of convincing to get him to sit down. When Wylan finally collapsed onto the couch he let out a painful gasp. Jesper sat down next to him on the couch and tried to distract him from the pain. The medik wouldn’t be arriving until the next day and even then it might be a while before he got there. 

He tried to distract Wylan by asking him questions, flirting with him, but trying not to make him laugh. Laughing only seemed to make his ribs hurt worse. So staying clear of jokes, Jesper squeezed his hand and asked him about anything and everything. He told himself stories he remembered from when he was younger. Described his dads Jurda farm, his mother, even parts of his childhood.

“Yeah, ma used to make the best bread. It was always so fluffy, and light.” Jesper said, “And then she would always read to me my favourite book.”

Wylan rested his head on Jespers shoulder, “Sounds nice Jes.”

“It was. When we visit my father in Novyi Zem I’ll have to read it to you.”

“You don’t have to do that Jes.” Wylan said getting redder, “Really. You helping me with this already is enough.”

Jesper just smiled at him, “I don’t mind, in fact I think I’d quite like to read it to you. Nothing could change my mind.”

Wylan just sighed out, “Okay, Jes.”

And that’s how it went most of the night, until Wylan was able to doze off. His head on Jespers shoulder and their hands intertwined. Jesper swore it was the most adorable thing he’d ever seen. He knew that he always would look out for Wylan. He just hoped Wylan would want him back in that way.

—🎶🔆💣🗝️—

————————

When Wylan woke up the next morning the first thing he noticed was Jesper next to him. Their hands intertwined, Jespers face in his mess of reddish curls. The second thing he noticed was the sharp pain in his chest. Wincing, he took a deep breath and inhaled the scent of Jesper. Gunpowder and Jurda. He loved that smell. It was just perfect for Jesper. 

He shifted slightly in his seat, but groaned at the pain that followed. He hoped he hadn’t woken Jesper. He looked like he desperately needed rest. They all did though. The last few weeks had been a blur. Getting back to Ketterdam, Inej getting taken captive, and everything that had happened after that. And when Wylan thought that things couldn’t get worse, Matthias was killed. And Nina had also left quite suddenly, leaving him to wonder if he’d see her again. 

He turned his head slightly when Jesper moved suddenly. Jesper grinned at him, making Wylan’s insides flutter. Saints he’s a daydream Wylan thought. 

“Morning, Wy.” Jesper said, pulling Wylan into a soft embrace.

Wylan leaned back into Jesper and managed a, “Morning Jesper,” around the pain.

“How are your ribs?”

As a response Wylan groaned in pain again, “Still hurts pretty badly.” Wincing slightly he turned his head so Jespers face was nearly touching his. If one of them leaned in farther their lips would be touching.

Jesper just stared into his eyes, “Well hopefully the medik will be here soon. You shouldn’t have to deal with that pain.”

Wylan just nodded slightly, not breaking gaze with Jesper. 

“Are you sure you’re okay Wy?” Jesper asked him, leaning in slightly closer to Wylan’s face.

Wylan barely heard himself respond back, “Yeah, Jes.”

Wylan closed his eyes, taking a breath, and leaned forward towards Jespers lips. 

And just as it seemed they were about to kiss, there was a knock on the door.

They sprang apart, or in Wylan’s case just pulled away, and Jesper answered, “Come in!”

Inej came in followed by a medik. Wylan allowed Jesper to help him lay down into a more comfortable position to get his ribs looked at. Then he let the medik do his thing, answering any questions when necessary.

It only took about thirty minutes and by the end of it Wylan definitely felt less pain. The medik said it would take a few days for the pain to go away. He decided that it could be worse and excepted the medicine and bandages to help the pain and process of healing. 

Once the he had left Wylan turned to Jesper, who hadn’t left his side once since the night before. 

Jesper sat back down next to him, “Does it feel better now?”

Wylan breathed deeply, “Yeah.”

“That’s good,” Jesper smiled softly, “You want anything to eat?”

Wylan shook his head. After last night he felt empty. The shock of Matthias’s sudden death still hung heavy. He knew it would eventually pass, but right now in still stung sharp. He felt light tears prick the corners of his eyes but pushed them away. He wouldn’t let himself cry again. Not now. He wouldn’t let himself go like that, he just couldn’t. 

He turned back to Jesper, “So…have you explored the house yet?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty huge,” Jesper said, “I only saw the downstairs.”

“Would you like to see the rest?” Wylan asked him, quietly.

Jesper stood up, “Sure,” He extended a hand to pull Wylan up. 

Wylan carefully led him up the stairs and showed him to the bedrooms, which were on the second story, “You can have whichever one you like.”

“Which one are you taking?”

“The master bedroom.” Wylan surprised himself by saying it. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to stay in his fathers old room yet. But he was going to try.

“I’ll take the one next to it then,” Jesper said. 

Wylan inwardly exhaled a sigh of relief, he had hoped Jesper would chose one closer to his. He really wanted to stay in the same room as Jesper. He was just unsure of how to tell someone he wanted to stay with them in that way. 

Wylan led Jesper to the room right next to the master bedroom, “It’s not one of the biggest. You can always pick a different one…”

Jesper just shook his head, “No, this one is fine.” 

Wylan hoped he was okay with it and wasn’t just saying that, “Okay…If you’re sure.”

Jesper squeezed his arm affectionately, “I’m sure Wy.”

They went back downstairs to the music room, and Wylan sat back down on the couch. He gestured for Jesper to sit down next to him but he shook his head again, “If it’s okay, can I go get my things from the Slat? I can stay if you need me to—” 

“Of course Jes,” Wylan responded, cutting of Jesper, “When do you think you’ll be back?” 

“I won’t be long. A couple of hours at the most.”

Wylan nodded. For a second he thought Jesper was going to lean down and kiss him goodbye. Saints he hoped he would. But instead he nodded towards him and left, leaving Wylan very much alone. 

————————

Wylan opened the double doors to the master bedroom with shaky hands. He came to the realisation that he really was going to stay in this room on his own. He desperately wanted to ask Jesper to stay with him. To help him face whatever the night would bring. But he just couldn’t. He didn’t want to seem like a coward. Especially after what they had just gone through it seemed stupid to let this bother him. So instead he took a deep breath and faced the room. 

It looked the same as it always had. Giant canopy bed in the center, large wardrobe, and a full length mirror. He traced the edge of the mirror with his finger and sighed. It was all coming back to him. Most of his abuse happened in the library. But sometimes he’d be screamed at in his fathers room. He was terrified the man was going to jump out from somewhere and yell at him. 

Wylan slowly changed into something more comfortable to where to bed. The servants had already moved his clothing into the wardrobe at his request. He laid down on his back, staring up at the canopy. Closing his eyes tight he tried to ignore the anxiety bubbling on his skin. He had no idea how long it would take him to fall asleep. Not when he couldn’t shake that fear of his father. But eventually exhaustion won him over and he fell asleep.

————————

Jesper just couldn’t sleep. He knew Wylan wasn’t okay. He knew that even though the merchling reassured him he was fine, he was not. He was unfocused and nervous constantly. He jumped at any sudden noise or movement  his peripheral vision. As if it was his father back to discipline him. He couldn’t stand seeing Wylan like that. It just broke his heart to see the brave merchling terrified and unable to admit it. 

After what must have been an hour of him pacing across the hardwood flooring, he couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t let Wylan spend the first night alone. Even if he didn’t want anything to do with Jesper anymore he just wouldn’t let him be alone. 

Jesper crossed the floor quickly and opened the door. It was completely silent in the mansion. In the Barrel it had always been busy. Sleep schedules weird, never silent. But now it felt dead, to quiet. It felt odd to hear himself think without hearing someone else talking consistently. 

He considered knocking on Wylan’s door, but then decided not to. If the merchling had managed to fall asleep he didn’t want to wake him. So instead he opened the door as quietly as he could. 

Wylan was curled up into a ball, sleeping. At first Jesper exhaled a breath in relief that he was sleeping. But then he heard a whimper. Wylan turned over and Jesper saw a pained look on his face. Without a second thought he crossed the room and sat on the bed next to the merchling.

“Wylan?” Jesper touched his shoulder softly.

Wylan only responded with another whimper.

Jesper shook his shoulder slightly now, “Wy? Wylan?”

Wylan didn’t wake. His expression was still pained, his eyes squeezed shut tightly. His legs were pulled up against his chest, and his arms over his head. It didn’t escape Jespers notice that he was trying to protect himself, 

Jesper rubbed his back in what he hoped was a soothing way. He’d never been great at comforting people. 

“Wylan?”

Suddenly there was a small gasp. Wylan had woken up. But before Jesper could say anything Wylan had practically flown out of the bed. He ran out the door and quickly ran down the hallway. Jesper had no time to register what had happened. But after a moment he quickly ran after the smaller boy. 

There was no indication of which way Wylan had gone after he’d left. So Jesper took a right and hoped Wylan had gone this way. He wasn’t sure which rooms to check so he looked in all of them. Most were guest rooms, one or two were bathrooms.

By the time he’d checked the entire second floor there was no sign of Wylan. Jesper tried to clear his mind and think where Wylan might have gone. Then it hit him. The servants quarters upstairs. 

They had temporarily sent home the servants and cooks to get used to the news of their old master being sent to prison. As a result the uppermost floor of the house was deserted. But when Jesper poked his head into the first door he saw, he found Wylan.

The poor boy was curled up on the floor, back against the wall. His knees were drawn up to his chest and his arms covered his head. Ready to protect himself from any oncoming attack. Jesper could hear the sobs shaking his small body as get sat there.

Jesper quickly padded across the floor and sat down in front of the merchling.

“Wylan?”

Wylan slowly lifted his head, just enough so only his eyes were visible. 

Jesper moved just a bit closer, but not so they were touching. He didn’t want to frighten Wylan anymore, “Wy? Are you okay?”

Wylan shook his head, “I’m sorry.”

Now Jesper was confused, “For what?”

Wylan buried his face again, “For this. We’ve only been here a day and I’m already a mess.”

“Wy, none of that is your fault. You can’t help what was done to you under this roof.” Jespers heart shattered for the second time in days at seeing Wylan like this. None of this is even his fault. Wylan shouldn’t feel like he has to apologise for any of what was done to him. 

“Yes it is my fault Jesper. If I wasn’t defective my father wouldn’t have done that. It was me. I made him a monster.” Wylan sobbed harder into his arms.

Jesper couldn’t take it any longer, “Wylan can I hold you?”

Wylan waited a moment before squeaking out, “Yes,”

Jesper didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Wylan. The younger boy unfolded his body and buried his face in Jespers shirt. Jesper could feel each sob pushing through and felt his shirt front growing damp. That didn’t matter though. What mattered was Wylan. 

“Wy, I know that you won’t believe me, but you are not defective. You’ve never done anything wrong. It is your father who is at fault for what happened. He shouldn’t have used you not being able to read as an excuse for what he did.”

If Wylan even heard him or not was unclear. Jesper just held him closer and tried to be there for him. Wylan needed to get this out. His life had been full of him having to hide how he felt. Him having to hide all the pain he'd endured. But Jesper wanted that to change. He wanted to be able to be the person he trusted. He wanted to show Wylan how much he is loved by everyone. His friends, his mother, and Jesper. Know one should have to go through what Wylan went through. Jesper wanted to take away the pain, but he knew he couldn’t. He knew Wylan would have to be the one to endure it. But he would at least make sure he was there for him.

After saints knows how long, Wylan’s sobbing quieted down. First the whimpering stopped, then the shaking faded away. 

Jesper lifted Wylan’s head slightly to dry his eyes with his own shirtsleeve, “Do you feel better?” 

“A little,” Wylan sighed softly, “I’m sorry—”

Jesper was quick to cut him off at that, “Nope, no apologies are necessary. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

Wylan opened his mouth looked like he was going to apologise again but then seemed to think better of it. Instead he said, “Thanks Jes.”

Jesper kissed the top of Wylan’s messy curls, “Of course Wy.” 

Wylan pulled back and sat with his legs crossed. His eyes were still red and swollen, but he looked less anxious as he stared into Jespers eyes, “It really does mean a lot to me Jes. No ones been this kind to me. In years. There aren’t enough words to describe how grateful I am.” And before Jesper even sees it coming, Wylan leaned forward and kissed him. 

It was just as amazing as the first time. He could hardly believe it was happening. He leaned in eagerly, pulling Wylan closer to him again. He cupped his nape with one hand and ran the other through his silky curls. It was even better then the first time. But he mostly couldn’t believe that they were kissing again. 

When the pulled apart it was slowly, and quite reluctant. They weren’t even apart. Wylan’s arms were around Jespers waist, and Jesper was still cupping his nape gently. 

“That was…just…” Jesper couldn’t even find words to how well it felt to kiss the merchling. It felt unreal. It felt like everything thing else just paused around them. Like it was just the two of them in the world. 

They were kissing again before either of them knew it. Simply lost in each other, how good they felt. 

The second the leaned back Wylan whispered, “You’re amazing Jes.” 

“So are you Wy.”

And that was how they stayed. The last thing Jesper remembered before he fell asleep was Wylan’s hand curled into his, and his fluffy red hair in his face.

—🎶🔆💣🗝️—

————————

Wylan woke up the next morning on the floor to one of the servants rooms. Next to him Jesper was asleep with his hand curled around Wylan’s own. He suddenly remembered what had happened and his face heated in embarrassment. He remembered kissing Jesper. Maybe even more then once, and hugging him tightly while he cried. Again. Saints he really was going to have to stop that. It was the fourth time he’d cried that hard in front of Jesper. It really was getting a little tiring. 

He had no idea what time it was, but the sun had already risen and he could hear people below them. 

“Jesper?” He gently shook his shoulder.

Jesper groaned and shifted slightly. Wylan leaned up, wincing from his ribs, and planted a kiss on Jespers cheek. That got him awake.

“Morning Wy.” Jesper said, before kissing him. 

Wylan leaned into the kiss, but couldn’t stop himself from wincing in pain again. That seemed to get Jespers attention pretty quickly. 

“Sorry Wy. Are they any better today.”

Wylan shrugged, “A bit. The medicine really helped last night.”

Jesper stood up and stretched out his lanky limbs. He grabbed offered a hand to help Wylan, who gladly excepted it. 

As Wylan straightened out Jesper said, “We probably should put new bandages on your ribs this morning.”

Wylan held in a groan. He told Jesper he could do it himself. He knew he really couldn’t, that it was really was ideal to have help. But he didn’t want Jesper to really see him yet. 

“I really can do it on my own…” Wylan tried, but Jesper silenced him with a quick forehead kiss. 

“I know you probably can Wy, but will please just let me help you?”

Wylan took a breath. Saints he wanted to tell Jesper the reason he didn’t want help. He didn’t want to look like a fool though, for having insecurities. He simply just didn’t like the way he looked compared next to the tall, lanky sharpshooter. 

Jesper cupped his cheek and forced him look into his eyes. Wylan just couldn’t look away from the calming grey that seemed to light up when looking at him. He took another breath before speaking again.

“It’s just…Jes I don’t want…” Wylan struggled to find the right way to put it. Jesper nodded his head slightly encouraging him to continue, “I don’t like…I don’t like the way I…I look.”

Jesper frowned, “Wylan, you’re beautiful. And I really do mean that.”

Wylan scoffed, know one ever said anything like that about him. His father used to tell him he was too pale and skinny. He’d also been told not to listen to what his father said about him. But he couldn’t help it. He really did believe most of what his father had been telling him. Even if he wanted to believe it wasn’t true he just couldn’t. 

Jesper pulled on his hand, “Come on Wy. Can we change your bandages?” 

Wylan knew however that this time he wouldn’t win. He knew Jesper would never let him struggle on his own. Reluctantly he breathed out a soft, “Yes.”

Still holding his hand, Jesper pulled him back onto the second floor and through to one of the bathrooms. They would get better lighting in there. 

Wylan sat on stool left in there and waited while Jesper left to get the bandages. He tried to calm the nervous feeling building on his skin.  His breathing had gotten shorter and he was shaking.

It didn’t take long for Jesper to return with the bandages. Wylan took a deep breath trying to hide the fact that he was shaking from Jesper. 

Jesper squatted down in front of Wylan, “Wy, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I just want to help. It will be quick, I swear.” He raised Wylan’s hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it. 

Wylan just nodded, “Okay Jes.”

Wylan reached up with shaking hands to begin undoing his nightshirt. Jesper noticed and reached out to help him. Wylan quickly pulled the shirt of his shoulders and pulled it into his lap. He was suddenly aware of how cold it really was in the small bathroom. 

Jesper quickly cut off his old ones from the day before. He gave Wylan a second to breath without the tightness around his torso. Then he began working to bandage him up again. It only took five minutes, but it still felt like too long to Wylan.

When Jesper finished he pulled Wylan to his feet, “Better?”

Wylan held his discarded shirt firmly, “Yeah Jes.”

Jesper reached down and pulled the shirt from Wylan’s hands. He began to pull it back onto Wylan’s shoulders for him. When he finished he leaned in and kissed Wylan lightly.

“Thanks Jes.”

“Anything merchling.”

—🎶🔆💣🗝️—

————————

That night they headed up to bed together. Wylan was about to open the door to the master bedroom again when he turned to Jesper.

“Jes?” Jesper paused with his hand on his own door knob, “Is it…Would it be okay if I stayed with you tonight?” Wylan felt his cheeks pink.

Jesper smiled softly, “Of course Wy.”

Wylan exhaled a breath he didn’t realise he’d

been holding, “Thanks…I’m just gonna grab something to change into.”

But Jesper just grabbed his hand and pulled him closer, “You can just use something of mine.” Wylan nodded into his chest.

They entered Jespers claimed room still wrapped in each other. Jesper broke away first to give Wylan something to wear to bed. A white linen shirt that was definitely too big for him. 

Jesper went ahead and began to change out of his own clothes, not even hesitating with Wylan in the room. Wylan took a breath and changed into the shirt Jesper had given him. It was soft and smelled like Jesper. 

Jesper pulled back the blankets and laid down, indicating for Wylan to do the same. Wylan hesitated, still unsure about sharing a bed with someone else. But eventually he laid down and let Jesper envelope him in his arms. He curled into Jespers chest inhaling his scent.

“Mmmm…you’re so warm Jes.”

Jesper just tightened his arms around Wylan, pulling him as close as possible. Wylan moved his head up to kiss Jespers perfect lips.

“Thanks Jes.” He murmured 

He heard Jesper say something but was already falling asleep and didn’t here what he’d said. 

The last thing Wylan remembered before falling asleep was the press of Jespers lips against the top of his head. 

—🎶🔆💣🗝️—

————————

The next morning Wylan woke curled up in Jespers arms. He seemed to have barely moved in his sleep. Jesper was snoring softly into his hair, tickling his forehead slightly. Wylan smiled lightly and wrapped his arms around Jespers waist. 

The small movement seemed to alert the sharpshooter that he was awake.

“Morning Wy.”

Wylan mumbled a good morning into Jespers chest. He was too comfortable to bother moving at the moment. Jesper kissed his forehead and held a hand at the back of his head.

“How are your ribs feeling this morning.”

Reluctantly, Wylan leaned back just enough to answer Jesper, “I haven’t felt any pain yet.”

They laid entangled in each other for another twenty minutes or so before Jesper broke the peaceful silence, “Wy?”

“Yeah Jes?”

“I’m gonna go bathe now if that’s alright.”

Wylan groaned a bit and started to sit up, pulling Jesper with him, “That’s fine Jes.”

Jesper climbed out of bed, but before he left he gave Wylan a quick kiss. Wylan leaned forward eagerly into the kiss. He had just remembered his promise to make a down payment last night. And now that his ribs felt better he was quite eager to fulfil that promise. 

Jespers arms were now snaking up under Wylan’s nightshirt slowly. Wylan had his hands pressed into Jespers shoulder blades and was still locked into him passionately. Wylan was about to start undoing Jespers shirt, when he broke apart.

Wylan whined a bit from the lack of Jesper wrapped around him.

“Sorry Wy, but we really should wait another day so you don’t break your ribs again.”

Wylan couldn’t argue with that, but still didn’t look forward to having to wait. But then he thought of something else. Something they had been yet to discuss.

“Jes?”

Jesper held his hand gently, “Yeah?”

“So…Are we…you know..?” Wylan stammered this out quickly, not sure how he would phrase the question, “Will you be my boyfriend?”

Wylan lowered his head, not wanting to see Jespers face. But really just trying to hide how red he probably turned. 

Jespers lifted his chin slowly, “Wylan, I would love to be your boyfriend.”

And just looking into his grey eyes told Wylan he was telling the truth. That he wasn’t trying to please Wylan. He didn’t know how to believe somebody actually enjoyed his company. That someone could actually find him a fun person to be around. But that was all his father talking. Wylan knew that things like what he went through would be hard to get over. But what he also knew was that it would be easier to have Jesper with him through it all. 

Jesper pulled his head closer for another kiss. This time it was just soft and gentle. This kiss made it feel like they had all the time in the world. Even if they both knew they didn’t.

Wylan pulled back first, still gazing into Jespers eyes. But Jesper was the one who broke the silence that had elapsed.

“I really don’t want to leave you, but I really would like a bathe.” He hugged Wylan even closer, if possible.

“Go ahead Jes,” Wylan said, “I’m just going to change and head downstairs.”

“Okay merchling.”

They broke apart, and Jesper went ahead and began gathering things for a bath. Wylan went over to his dresser and opened it hesitantly. He glanced quickly at Jesper who gave him a small nod, telling him to go ahead. He pulled out one of Jespers shirts that was definitely too big for him. 

This time he didn’t think twice about changing with Jesper in the room. He just stripped off his nightclothes, which he remembered were also Jespers, and tugged on the newly stolen clothes. 

The shirtsleeves flopped down over his hands and it was way too long. It felt perfect. Wylan wondered downstairs and before he knew it he was in the music room.

It had been his happy place for so long. His eyes went to the shelf full of sheet music. He pulled off one of the flute folders and opened it. 

The one he’d opened held some of his old favourites. Music had helped him live through the torture of his father for so many years. And now he was able to play it for the joy of it. He could play it without his father raging on him. 

He took out his favourite piece and grabbed his flute. Jesper had brought it for him when he’d gone to gather his own things. It was the only thing Wylan had wanted to bring back from the Slat. Everything else he just left. 

He opened the case and carefully pulled it together. He blew out a soft A natural to tune it.  Sharp. He pulled at the head joint just a bit and tried again. It felt better the second time he played it. 

He took a breath and began to go over the piece. It was beautiful. He’d avoided playing this even though he’d had it memorised. It always reminded him of this home. But now he wanted to play it. It sounded like sunshine bouncing off the pages as he played. 

He continued to play what was in the folder until he’d eventually play through everything. It was only after that did he glance up.

Standing in the doorway was Jesper. He walked over and sat next to Wylan.

“That was beautiful Wy.”

Wylan felt himself pink, “How much did you hear?”

Jesper smiled softly, “Enough to know that you’re the best flautist in Kerch.”

Wylan blushed harder, but then squeezed Jespers hand gently, “Can I play something for you.”

Jesper squeezed back, “I would love that.”

Wylan took out a piece he’d been working on since he’d first kissed Jesper. It was far from complete, but he had enough of it that he felt comfortable playing. He laid it out and took a breath, starting to go through the piece.

When he finished he laid down his flute to his side. 

Carefully he looked into Jespers eyes, “What did you think.”

“I loved it.” Jespers said before kissing him. 

Wylan leaned over eager to be closer already. Jesper had pulled him into his lap practically. Wylan prodded his tongue to get Jesper to open his mouth. And he did, quickly. 

They sat like that just wrapped up in each other, not caring about anything else. Then there was a sudden knock on the open door. 

It was Inej. Kaz was standing next to her, gazing directly at the two of them. Specifically where Wylan’s mouth was meeting Jespers.

Kaz rolled his eyes at the displayed affection, “Disgusting.” 

Wylan turned to Inej, “Hey, do you need something?”

“Wylan there’s someone here.” She said slowly.

Wylan furrowed his brows in confusion. Who? They definitely weren’t expecting anyone for a while longer. 

He stood up, pulling Jesper with him. Wylan reached out for Jespers hand, already missing the lack of contact. When he got to the door he took a breath and opened the door wondering who it was.

It was his mother.

She was accompanied by a nurse from the asylum. His moms head was ducked down towards the sidewalk as they walked up to the house. 

Wylan couldn’t move. His feet were planted firmly to the ground. He hadn’t expected her home so soon. He hadn’t prepared himself enough for this. He wasn’t ready. 

He turned to Jesper unsure of what to do. But before Jesper could say anything to him, he heard a small cry.

He looked back and saw that she had lifted her head. She was walking as fast as she could. Right to Wylan.

Wylan ran down the last few steps and hugged her tightly. The last time he had seen her she didn’t know it was him. He had been tailored into someone else. But now he looked like himself. 

“Wylan?” She whispered into him, “Wylan?”

“Mother?” His voice was wet. He’d started crying.

“Wylan is that really you?”

Wylan held her tightly to himself, “It is. I swear it’s me.”

“I’ve missed you so much.”

They pulled apart and she gazed lovingly into his face, wiping away his tears. She’d started crying too at some point. 

“I’ve missed you too.”

He led her into the house. Jesper followed them, not leaving Wylan’s side. 

“Umm…mom this is…this is Jesper.” 

“Hello Ms Hendriks.” Jesper greeted politely.

“Hello Jesper.” She replied quietly, seemingly unable to be louder.

Wylan lead her upstairs to a guest room that he’d already picked out for her. It was one of the smaller rooms, but he didn’t want to overwhelm her with a bigger one. She glanced around, and the nurse left her belongings on a chair. 

Wylan didn’t know what else to do. He watched her move slowly around the room. She didn’t hold herself like she did when he was younger. She’d changed so much.

Before Wylan knew it he’d said a quick, “I’ll leave you to get settled,” before practically sprinting from the room. 

He went downstairs and collapsed in a chair in the smaller dining room. He put his head in his arms and just wished he could disappear. He wasn’t ready to face this. He had only just found out she was alive, and now she was here. Back in the home that she had been forced out of.

He sat like that only for a few minutes before someone touched his arm gently. He jumped suddenly, not having heard anyone approach. He lifted his head and saw it was Inej. 

“Wylan what’s wrong?”

He’d quite crying from earlier, but his voice still came away wet when he spoke, “It just feels wrong.”

Inej didn’t say anything. She usually was more silent then the others. Wylan liked that about her. There was just something comforting about her presence.

“I’m sorry.” She spoke suddenly, “I know what it’s like to not see your parents for long periods of time. But I still haven’t seen mine.”

She stood up after squeezing his arm softly. He sighed quietly, still unable to even raise his voice a bit in the house. Eventually he heard a familiar sound. Jespers footsteps.

“Hey.”

Jesper sat down next to him. Wylan just stared down at the table. He felt stupid for being able to handle this. He knew Jesper would handle something like this better then him. Saints he felt like such a disappointment. He knows he is a disappointment just like his father said.

“Wylan it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay Jesper. I should be able to be with her and not get like this. She’s changed so much. And all because of me. If I hadn’t failed my father then she would be okay.”

Wylan buried his face in his hands. 

“Wylan you have failed no one. If anything your father failed you.” Jesper said quietly, match the tone of the conversation, “Fathers are exposed to look out for their sons. Not care about what they can’t do, but love them for what they can do. He never acted like your father.”

Wylan didn’t have anything to say. He wanted to believe what Jesper said. He’d had it said to him many times before by him. He just didn’t know how to believe it. He’d grown up thinking he was a disgrace. He’d hated himself. He had scars that bared that. And yet when he was with Jesper, that self hatred faded away. He had started learning to love himself. Returning to this house brought it all back though. He took a deep breath. What Jesper had said made sense. His father had never treated him like his son after his mother had been sent away. He took another deep breath. He thought Jespers words over and over in his mind. Every time Jesper had told him he wasn’t a failure. He felt the tension loosen.

“Thanks Jes.” He murmured quietly.

Jesper pulled him closer so that his face was buried in Jespers chest. Wylan inhaled the scent of Jesper. That smell that he loved so much. He thought of the way Jespers arms felt around him. How his chin rested on the top of his head in his curls. Occasionally he would tilt down to kiss the top of his head softly. He felt safe. He felt like home. 

Wylan knew from that moment that he was falling in love. He knew that Jesper was his world. That they would be there for each other no matter what. He’d never felt anything as wonderful as being wrapped up in Jespers arms. He wanted to stay there and never leave. Jesper was his world.

—🎶🔆💣🗝️—

————————

As Jesper held Wylan gently in his arms, he thought about how good it felt. In the past few years he’d only had as much as hook ups. Not an established relationship. Well they’d only become boyfriends that morning. But as Jesper breathed in the lavender smell of Wylan’s silky curls, he knew it was something more. He’d never felt love. Only desperation for a night. A night to just wrap himself in someone he barely knew and then never see them again. But this time as he wrapped his arms around Wylan, he knew that he was slowly, falling in love with the merchling.

And he loved that.

Chapter Text

Two weeks have passed since they have moved into the mansion. Since the day Marya came back things had become quite stressful. Wylan was already up to his knees in paperwork. Even with the help from Jesper it was still quite difficult. They had begun a simple routine for their days. Work in the morning, lunch, more work, and then the evening’s for themselves. Wylan was just glad that they’d been able to have the weekend off.

So far Jesper and him hadn’t done much more than kiss. What with his ribs just finishing healing and the sudden arrival of Marya there hadn’t been a much of a opportunity. After the second night though Jesper moved into Wylan’s room.

Wylan wanted to take him somewhere. But he didn’t know what to do. He’d never taken anyone on a date before and didn’t know how or what to do. He knew he had to do something. Saints he wished he now had more experience. Wylan had turned down any opportunity at a type of romantic relationship while in the Barrel. The only person he’d wanted one with was Jesper. And now that he had that he had no idea what to do.

☪︎ ☼ ❀ ☆ ❣︎ ❦ ⚅
———————

Wylan woke up curled into Jespers arms on the first day of the weekend. Jesper was still sleeping soundly, snoring in Wylan’s soft curls. He hadn’t been able to think of any kind of idea for a date the night before. He was so exhausted he collapsed into bed beside Jesper and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillows. Who knew taking over in his fathers place would be so exhausting.

He wanted to do something special for Jesper at the very least. He wanted to show Jesper how much he means to him.

It took Jesper another few minutes to wake up. When he did, they exchanged their usual morning kisses, before heading downstairs to get breakfast and coffee. Wylan seriously had know idea what he would do without the hot cup of caffeine he had each morning. He still felt half asleep though even after it.

They had also made a habit of eating in the music room. While the bigger dining room was still a mess from where Kaz and him had crashed through, there was another table in the kitchen. They just didn’t like using it. Or more correctly it was really just him who didn’t like using it. The house was just old memories and traumatic experiences brought back to him. He guess they never really were gone while he was in the Barrel, but he’d never had much time to dwell on them. Wylan didn’t expect them to resurface so much though. As a result he’d spent most of the first week an anxious mess.

Jesper carried their food to the corner of the music room they’d already grown fond of. They sat there in a comfortable silence, sipping on coffee and eating their breakfast.

After they finished Jesper volunteered to take the dishes back to the kitchen. As soon as he left, Wylan brought his knees up to his chest and buried his face in his arms. He was still troubled by not knowing how to take Jesper out, and that anxiety was now controlling him. He noticed he’d started picking the skin at the bottom of his lip and forced himself to stop. It was going to be okay. He would figure it out.

“Wy?”

When Wylan didn’t say anything Jesper sat down next to him.

“Wy? Something wrong?”

Wylan lifted his head so he could see Jespers face. It was ridden with concern. Saints Wylan hated making Jesper concerned. It made him feel terrible about himself.

“It’s nothing Jes.”

But Jesper wasn’t going to let it go that easily, “Nope. Something is clearly bothering you. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want too, but at least let me hug you.”

Wylan let himself lean against Jesper. He was incredibly warm and soft. Taking a breath he decided to tell Jesper his worries. He wanted to get better at sharing things like this. He didn’t want to feel like a burden anymore and telling Jesper this was one way to start.

He took another breath before speaking, “Jes?”

“Yeah Wy?”

“It’s just…we haven’t gone on a proper date yet. I want to do something I just didn’t know how.”

Jesper squeezed him affectionately, “That’s okay Wy. Would you like to go to dinner tomorrow night?”

Wylan bit down on the bottom of his lip, “Actually I have an idea…” He’d thought of it the other day when he’d been really nervous. He didn’t know how Jesper would respond to the idea though.

“What do you have in mind?”

Taking another breath, Wylan looked away from Jespers face and stammered out quickly, “Could we go on a picnic lunch?” He felt his face turn bright red and stared determinedly at the piano.

Wylan felt Jespers lips on the top of his head, “That sounds amazing Wy.”

He turned back to Jespers face, “Really?”

“Of course Wy. Besides I’ll be with you, and that’s what matters.”

Wylan had nothing to say to that. Instead he leaned forward and kissed Jespers perfect lips. It still was the best feeling in the world. Jesper eagerly kissed back, cupping his nape and running his hand through Wylan’s curls. Wylan in return wrapped his arms around Jespers neck and pulled himself impossible closer.

They pulled back for a split second. And then they were kissing again. The second their lips touched again Wylan thought the words he’d been thinking the last few days. I love you. But he didn’t know how to tell someone you loved them. He pushed the thoughts away for now, but he knew they would come back, and that eventually, inevitably, he would tell Jesper.

They heard a slightly amused cough from the doorway. Wylan felt himself turning red again. They pulled apart and glanced up to see who it was.

It was Inej. Saints this wasn’t the first time she’d walked in on them like this. At least a few times in the past week she’d walked into the music room or the living room, only to see them glued together. And each time she only embarrassed them farther by coughing loudly, and definitely in the amusement of catching them. What made it worse was how quiet she was. That made it impossible to hear her coming.

“I can see you too are having a good morning.” She was smirking slightly as she walked in farther and sat down in and armchair across from them.

“Morning to you too,” Jesper responded, “Inej? You have anything going on later?”

She shook her head, “Why do you ask?”

“I could use your help with something.”

“Okay,” She looked confused still, “What is it?”

Jesper just waved a hand in dismissal, “Nothing important. Just an extra thing I need help with.”

Wylan glanced up towards his boyfriend. He knew nothing about what Jesper was talking about. So far Jesper had started telling him when he was working on anything. Wylan had also started trying to do the same, telling him anything that he might be doing. And if the needed help they’d ask each other. The fact that he was asking Inej this time made it feel like he was hiding something.

“Wylan are you okay?”

He was drawn back to the present by Inej. Without realizing it he must of spaced out and unintentionally blocked out the other two, despite still being in Jespers arms.

“Yeah,” Was all he responded with, even if he didn’t feel okay.

“Okay…” Inej said, though she sounded quite skeptical.

Wylan tried again, “I really am okay,” he stood up trying and failing to pull Jesper up with him, “I’m just going to go change.”

Jesper didn’t offer to come with him. This wasn’t unusual though. They still barely changed in the same room, only a couple times, and their backs had been turned each time.

Not sure if he felt better or worse, Wylan climbed the stairs and went to change.

☪︎ ☼ ❀ ☆ ❣︎ ❦ ⚅
———————

“So what is it you need help with?” Inej asked Jesper in the music room.

Jesper paced restlessly across the floor, “Right before you walked in on us he asked me on a date with him.”

“So?”

He groaned, “I don’t know what to do! I want to get him something, like flowers! But I’ve never done that for someone.”

Inej thought for a second, “Flowers would probably be the best place to start. Do you know what his favorite ones are?”

Jesper shook his head, “I never thought to ask.”

“If you’d like I could pick some up for you?” Inej offered.

“That’d be great,” He smiled, “Thanks Nej.”

Jesper turned and walked out of the music room and turned to head back upstairs to their shared room. He really appreciated her willingness to pick up flowers for him. He hoped she got some that Wylan liked. Jesper really wanted to do something else for Wylan as well but had no idea what else to do. Sighing he opened the door to their room.

He was met with the sight of Wylan in the process of buttoning up his shirt.

“Jes!”

Jesper quickly entered the room and turned his head, “Sorry Wy, thought you’d be finished by now.”

Wylan finished his shirt and came up behind him and hugged him, “Sorry Jes, You’re fine. Just surprised me.”

Jesper clasped the hands over his stomach, “Do you want to go on a walk?”

“A walk sounds lovely Jes?”

Jesper reluctantly pulled away from Wylan, “Alright, let me just change first.”

Jesper walked over to his dresser and pulled out a change of clothes. He went to pull out his favorite shirt and saw it wasn’t there. Then he realized he hadn’t looked at what shirt Wylan had been wearing. He turned back towards Wylan, and sure enough he was wearing Jespers shirt.

“I’m sorry Jes, I didn’t know you wanted to wear it,” Wylan said looking down at the floor.

But Jesper wasn’t upset in the slightest. Honestly the shirt looked better on Wylan then in did him. It was too big for him, and the sleeves covered his hands, and it was far too long. He looked adorable.

“Wylan?”

Wylan slowly raised his head to look at Jesper. His face was red and his eyes had a frightened look about them. It was as if he was expecting Jesper to react badly about something as simple as a shirt.

“Yeah Jes?”

Jesper grabbed his hand and squeezed it slightly, “Are you okay?”

Wylan shook his head. Jesper wasted no time pulling the younger in for a tight hug. He gently lowered the two of them onto the bed.

After a minute of silence he asked, “What’s wrong Wy?”

Wylan took a deep breath trying calm himself, “Sorry Jes. It’s just…I can’t get him out of my head.”

Jesper felt no need to ask who he was.

“It’s okay Wy. It’s over now.”

Wylan sighed, very clearly frustrated with himself, “I know Jes…you shouldn’t have to tell me. I know he’s gone, but I just…it’s hard to remember that.”

“I’m sorry, Wy,” Jesper quietly spoke, “I wish I could take your pain away. I really do. But I can be with you. If you ever, ever need anything, I’m here.”

Wylan took in his words before responding, “I’ll always be here for you too Jes.”

Jesper kissed the top of Wylan’s head softly, “Still want that walk?”

Wylan nodded, and stood up, allowing Jesper to get dressed.

☪︎ ☼ ❀ ☆ ❣︎ ❦ ⚅
———————

They didn’t go on a very long walk. Only around the block and through their garden. But they enjoyed every moment.

Wylan used to not enjoy walks as much, but Jesper always made them more enjoyable. Now he held Jespers hand and swung in back and forth. Occasionally they would lean in and give quick kisses. Just gentle and sweet loving kisses.

“I’m excited for tomorrow Jes.” Wylan said as they walked around the garden.

Jesper squeezed his hand, “So am I.”

Wylan wanted to get something for Jesper. He was thinking flowers. He’d just never given anyone flowers before. What he wanted to do was ask his mother what to do. But he still hadn’t told her about their relationship yet. He hadn’t wanted to overwhelm her upon her return. But if he was going to be honest with himself, he was scared.

When his father found out that he liked boys his reaction was far from expected. He’d simply shrugged it off. Wylan thought at the time that maybe his father was getting better. But then he found out that his father only really didn’t care because he was defective anyways

“Jes?”

“Yeah?”

Wylan didn’t look at Jesper when he spoke, “I umm…I haven’t told mom yet.”

He winced expecting Jesper to be annoyed with him. He’d promised that he would do it, but was to scared.

“Okay? When do you want to do it?”

Wylan turned back to face him, “You’re not upset? I promised you I would.”

Jesper cupped his face gently, “Of course not love. Do it when you’re ready.”

“I was thinking of doing it today actually.” Wylan was surprised when he said that. He certainly wasn’t expecting to do it today.

“It’s up to you like I said Wy.”

“Okay, Jes. I’ll tell you after I do it.”

“Sounds good, love.”

Wylan squeezed his hand tighter, in a way of thanking him. Saints, I love him, Wylan thought but didn’t say. He knew he would one day though. But he had enough to tell today.

☪︎ ☼ ❀ ☆ ❣︎ ❦ ⚅
———————

Wylan walked back outs into the garden after lunch. His mother was out there painting something, most a peace. That’s why he chose this time to tell her. So taking a breath he walked up to her.

“Hey mom.”

She inclined her head to him in greeting, not turning away from her art.

Wylan took a deep breath, “Mom…there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

At that she turned away from her painting, “Sweetie?”

Now Wylan was shaking worse, “Can we sit down for a minute?”

She nodded and let him head her to a stone bench underneath the a willow tree.

She covered his had with her own, “Are you okay honey?”

He nodded and forced himself to look into her eyes, “There’s something you should…something you should know.”

She nodded waiting for him to continue. He breathed deeply, finding the words he wanted to use.

“Mom, I don’t like girls.” There he said it. Wylan squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for her to answer.

“That’s fine honey.”

He opened his eyes again, “What?”

She squeezed his hand, “Whoever you like Wylan, it won’t matter to me. As long as they treat you well.”

Saints that felt better. That made him feel better about what he was about to tell her.

“There’s another thing I need to tell you as well mom.”

She stayed silent, waiting for him to go on.

He breathed through his nose, “Well, the thing is…me and Jesper are dating.”

Wylan didn’t look at her as he said this. He fidgeted with his shirt sleeve and tried to keep himself from panicking.

“I think you’re well suited for each other.”

Wylan snapped back to her eyes, “What?”

She nodded, “I think you’d be good together.”

He searched her eyes for the lie she had to be telling, “Really?”

“I told you, you can love whoever you want. As long as they treat you well,” She smiled, “And he definitely treats you well.”

He frowned slightly at what what she said, “Love?”

She raised her eyebrows in that way mothers do, letting you know that they aren’t oblivious to what’s going on.

“Yeah.” He said softly. “I do love him.”

“See?”

And that’s how they spent the next half hour. Wylan felt lighter now that he told her. He feels lucky now to have her now. Especially when he thought he’d never see her again.

“I love you mom.”

“I love you too honey.”

☪︎ ☼ ❀ ☆ ❣︎ ❦ ⚅
———————

Wylan found Jesper in the basement when he came inside. He had been practicing his skills recently, to help him get through.

“Hey Jes.”

Jesper didn’t look up from what he was doing when he responded, “Hey Wy.”

“I told her.”

That got Jespers attention, “oh?”

Wylan cleared his throat slightly, “It went great.” He couldn’t contain the smile that pulled at his lips. He ducked his head to keep Jesper from seeing.

But Jesper had now crossed the room and taken Wylan’s face in his hands and kissed him. Wylan wrapped his arms around Jesper, melting into the kiss.

“That’s great Wy.” Jesper murmured, now pulling apart and brushing their noses together.

Wylan smiled up at him, “She said she thinks we’re good together.”

Jesper smiled back at him, “She’s right. We are good together.” Wylan giggled as he brushed his nose against Jespers. That just caused Jesper to grin wider.

Saints he loved that grin.

“Well I’m glad you agree with her.” Wylan laughed quietly into Jespers neck.

Jesper picked Wylan up and spun him in a small circle.

“Jes! You’ll make us dizzy!” He exclaimed, even if he really did enjoy being held by Jesper. But of course that earned him another kiss. He wasn’t complaining though.

“You’re so much fun to pick up though Wy! You’re the perfect size for my arms,” Jesper said back. Wylan did agree with him though.

He really was falling in love.

—🎶🔆💣🗝️—
————————

The next morning Jesper woke with his arms curled around Wylan’s small body. This was how they’d woken up almost every morning since moving in. Wylan with his face against Jespers chest, and Jesper with his face buried in Wylan’s ruddy curls. Jesper swore his heart melted that first morning he’d waken up with Wylan curled up against him, his mouth slightly open, hair ruffled and slightly tangled. Saints he even slept like a prince. He never snored, or tossed and turned. He just slept gently. Except with the nightmares.

Jesper still didn’t know what exactly gave Wylan the nightmares. He knew it had to do with his father, but what exactly his father had done that was bad enough for these nightmares, Jesper had no idea. He hoped though, that Wylan would eventually open up about what happened. Until then though, Jesper wouldn’t push him to tell him. But he would stay with him and be there for him no matter what.

Suddenly the small figure in his arms shuffled. He felt Wylan wrap his own arms around Jespers waist, and then bury his face in his chest.

Jesper kissed the top of Wylan’s ruddy curls, “Morning Wy.”

Wylan murmured sleepily into his chest. He tightened his grip around Jesper, and nuzzled into him.

Jesper laughed softly, “Would you like some Coffee?”

Wylan nodded slowly, “That’d be great Jes.” He spoke finally.

Jesper kissed his forehead once more before reluctantly leaving the bed to get coffee. He wanted to make this quick. They’d only been in the mansion for two weeks now, but they hated spending even a second apart.

On the weekends they decided they’d let the servants go home, so it was up to him to make it. He didn’t mind though, if anything he actually found it quite nice to do it himself. Wylan preferred his coffee sweeter then Jesper personally did. Two spoonfuls of sugar and a splash of milk. Jespers only had one spoonful of sugar.

Carefully and as quietly as he could, he carried the coffee back upstairs. When he pushed the door open, he saw Wylan was more awake now. He’d sat up crossed legged in bed and had his head rested in his hands.

Jesper handed Wylan his coffee and sat back down on the bed next to him. He leaned against the headboard and Wylan wasted no time curling up against him. Carefully though because of his drink.

“Thanks Jes.”

Jesper smiled, “Anytime Wy,”

Jesper glanced towards the clock on the wall. It was nearly nine bells. Then he remembered something. Inej was exposed to be bringing the flowers soon. He’d nearly forgotten, being wrapped up around Wylan all morning. They only had a few hours before they left for their date. Wylan hadn’t told them where exactly they would be going, but Jesper trusted him to know the perfect place for their picnic date.

He grabbed his coffee and kissed Wylan quickly, about to head to Inej to start getting things prepared.

Wylan looked up from his coffee, “Where are you going Jes?”

“I have some things to do before we go.”

Wylan sighed out a quiet, “Okay.”

Jesper squeezed his hand gently, “I know. I want to spend the morning together too, but I have some stuff for you I need to take care of.”

“For me?” Wylan said, quietly still, “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

Jesper smiled softly, “I wanted to, Wy.”

“Thanks Jes,” Wylan smiled back leaning in for a kiss.

Jesper kissed him softly in return for a minute. When they broke apart he kissed Wylan’s head one more time before leaving, “See you later Wy.”

Wylan just waved in response, smiling up at him from where he sat cross legged on the bed.

Jesper immediately went to find Inej. He wasn’t sure where she would be, so he decided to start with the bedroom she’d taken up.

He knocked on the door, and inwardly released a sigh of relief when she responded. He opened the door and stepped inside. She’d chosen one of the smallest bedrooms to occupy, claiming she didn’t need all that space. But Jesper knew that she didn’t like bigger rooms as much. That she felt more at home in the smaller ones. But this one was still huge, bigger than any of the ones at the slat.

Inej was sitting on the bench by the window, her dark hair braided down her back, simply looking out the window. He quickly spotted the flowers lying on the dresser by her bed.

“Hey Jesper,” she said without turning to look at him.

“Morning,” he responded, picking up the flowers, “Thanks Inej, you really are a lifesaver.”

She remained silent until he opened up the door to leave, “Have fun Jesper.”

He nodded even though she couldn’t see him, “I will.” And with that he left to finish everything else he had prepared.

Wylan had wanted to do the food, so Jesper let him do it. Well, most of it. He had a few things he wanted to surprise the merchling with. Jesper has also decided to get him a ring. For the past two weeks he’d been working on his Fabrikator powers. The first thing he tried to make was a ring for Wylan. It was a simple silver with a small yellow stone in the middle. He made I because it reminded him of Wylan. His sunshine. The person he wanted most.

The ring hadn’t come out great. The silver wasn’t as smooth and it was a bit crooked at the top. But he’d run out of time and it was the best he could do. So Jesper found an old ring box to use and hoped for the best.

He heard Wylan walking around upstairs and assumed he was getting ready for the day as well. Jesper hoped he liked what he’d gotten for him. He’d never really been in a long term relationship. Never past a night.

Sighing, he went to finish up everything for Wylan.

☪︎ ☼ ❀ ☆ ❣︎ ❦ ⚅
———————

Wylan bit down on his lip as soon as Jesper stepped out of the room. It was from his nerves, and the bite quickly drew blood. He ignored it and hurriedly drained his cup of hot tea. It burned his throat, but right now he had other things on his mind. He got up and changed into something comfortable, but nice. Opening his wardrobe, he ended stuck between his favourite two sweaters. The pale blue one, and light yellow. After taking a minute he decided on the yellow. Jesper had gotten stuck in the habit of calling him Van Sunshine, and he wanted to wear something Jesper would like too. For trousers he simply went with a pair of tan corduroy. He wasn’t the biggest fan of their texture, but loved how they looked with the sweater.

Going into the bathroom he fixed his hair, brushing through it and adding cream to make it curl and soften even more. Then he pinched his cheeks to add a bit more colour to his pale skin. And finally he used some lip balm to hopefully help moisten his skin there.

Now all that was left was to prepare Jespers gift. Wylan had been a bit unsure of what to get him, and decided to enlist the help of his mother. They had sat in her room thinking of something Wylan could do for at least twenty minutes when his mother had an idea.

The two of them had taken a trip down to a local jeweller. There Wylan picked out a silver ring with a green stone. It reminded him of Jesper and hoped he’d appreciated it.

Wylan had been storing the ring in his wardrobe since he’d bought it the day before. Now he took it out and put it in his pocket before leaving the room. The last thing he planned to do was buy flowers. Grabbing his favourite pair of sneakers, he ran out their bedroom door.

Checking the clock on the wall downstairs he realised he only had an hour. Jesper was still down there and had him come down, but Wylan was already heading towards the front door.

“Wy?” He heard Jesper call from the other room.

“I’ll be right back, Jes!” He called back, “I have to go pick something up!”

“Okay Wy!” He barely heard Jesper say before he rushed out the door.

Truth be told he didn’t know why he was rushing so much. It shouldn’t take him too long to buy flowers. Wylan wasn’t really sure what kind of flowers he wanted to buy yet, but decided he would figure it out once he got there.

Luckily it wasn’t to crowded in the streets yet. He’d never been a big fan of crowds. They often gave him anxiety, making him prone to avoid them. Usually he opted to have someone with him. But today he couldn’t, so taking deep breaths he entered the store.

There were only a few people in the shop at the moment. Trying his best to ignore them he looked through the flower arrangements. They were all so pretty. He didn’t know how he could possibly decide. But then he spotted the ones in the corner.

These flowers instantly reminded him of Jesper. It was an arrangement full of flowers of every colour. Bursting with beautiful rainbow colours. Those were the ones. He grabbed them before anyone else could and went to pay.

Taking a breath to steady himself he quick paid. It still gave him anxiety to even do things like this on his own. But the shopkeeper was really nice, which made her easier to talk to.

Wylan checked another clock he saw hanging on the wall of the shop. Twenty minutes to go. He almost wanted to spring out of the shop to get back in time. Instead, he settled on walking as fast he dared. He didn’t want to sweat up his clothes too much, considering he still had to wear them for their date.

Wylan quickly moved through the gates, and walked up to the front door. Before he even reached out to grab the handle, the door opened. Jesper smiled at him from the doorway. Wylan hid the flowers behind his back, even though he knew Jesper had probably already seen them.

“Hey Wy.”

“Hey Jes.”

Jesper, who also had a hand behind his back, stepped out into the yard. He was holding everything they needed for their date in his other hand.

“I’ve got something for you,” Jesper said, and from behind his back produced an arrangement of flowers. They were yellow daisy’s.

Wylan pulled his own out, blushing, “I do too.”

They took their respective flowers, admiring what they’d each gotten.

Jesper smiled even wider, “Saints, Wy.” These are beautiful.”

Wylan smiled back at him, “I like mine too Jes.” They smelled fantastic. He suspected the colour was for him as well. Jesper really liked the colour yellow for him.

Jesper tucked his flowers into the basket he was holding. Wylan reached down to do the same, that was his hands would be free. Jesper reached out and held his left hand with his right.

“Ready to go?” He asked while swing their hands back and forth.

Wylan nodded, “Yeah. It’s a bit far, but I think you’ll like it.”

Jesper nodded his head forward, “Lead the way sunshine.”

Wylan smiled at the nickname and together they began walking away from the house.

☪︎ ☼ ❀ ☆ ❣︎ ❦ ⚅
———————

Jesper held tight to Wylan’s hand all the way to wherever Wylan was taking him. Wylan said it would be a longish walk, but he was okay with that. Anything just to be around Wylan’s sunshine. Jesper loved the flowers Wylan had picked out for him, as well. Rainbow, every colour of flower in one bouquet.

“We’re almost there.” He heard Wylan say, dragging Jesper out of his train of thought.

“Okay Wy.”

After maybe another few minutes of walking, they rounded a corner, and Jesper could have sworn he was met with a sight almost as beautiful as Wylan.

It was a flower field. It seemed to stretch for miles, and there were trees. Pink cherry blossom trees. Just the sight of them made Jespers eyes water up, reminding him of his own mother.

“Jes?”

Wylan was looking into Jespers eyes, his own clear blue ones wide, with a slightly nervous look to them. Jesper couldn’t take it. He didn’t even try to stop himself from placing the basket down and lifting Wylan up instead. Kissing the merchling passionately, he spun them in a circle. Wylan laughed onto his lips, gripping him tightly back.

“This is beautiful Wy.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Wylan grinned, “Now come on. I’m starved.”

Still grinning like a fool, Jesper placed Wylan back on the ground. Picking up the basket in one hand and Wylan’s in the other, he walked towards one of the pink trees.

Wylan helped him unpack the blanket they’d brought, and spread it out. Jesper sat down and as soon as he did, Wylan curled up, practically in his lap, and nuzzled his head into his shoulder.

“You’re sobbing cute,” Jesper said, ruffling the younger boys hair.

Jesper reached over to the basket and took out the food that had been brought. Sandwiches and berries at Wylan’s request, and Jesper had brought along some cookies that had been made the previous night.

Wylan very reluctantly moved back, settling with his head on Jespers shoulder, so they could eat.

They ate mostly in silence, occasionally smiling at each other and squeezing hands. Jesper had never done anything like this with anyone else before. And with Wylan it just felt perfect. Like this is where he’d been destined to be. He knew that if he looked into his future even a month ago, he wouldn’t expect this to be where he was. In the Barrel in felt like he could never calm down. Calm in the Barrel just simply didn’t exist. But here he felt calm. Here next to Wylan he felt like it was only the two of them in the world. Jesper felt like nothing else mattered. Saints where had this been for so long.

After they finished eating, Jesper pulled Wylan into another hug, kissing the top of his now messy curls, “Can I show you something Wy?”

Wylan kissed him gently, “Of course Jes.”

Jesper reached into the basket and pulled out the ring he’d made for Wylan. Taking a deep breath to try and steady himself he handed it to Wylan.

Wylan took the case, but before he opened it he reached into his own pocket and drew out something. It was a small black box as well.

“Did we get each other the same thing?” Wylan smiled softly, looking the happiest he had in the last two weeks.

Jesper grinned, “Well how about we open them and find out?”

“Okay, let’s count down though,” Wylan said, “Three…Two…One.”

Jesper opened his box slowly. It was a silver ring with a green stone. He slid it out of the box carefully and slid it onto his finger. A perfect fit.

Jesper then felt arms around his middle. Wylan was hugging him tightly, the ring box he had empty, showing that he was wearing it.

“Did you make this, Jes?”

Jesper looked at the ground when he answered, “Yeah. I tried really hard, and I know it’s not the best, but—”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence because Wylan had kissed him. Gently and softly, tasting of everything that made Wylan, well, Wylan.

When they pulled apart, Wylan cupped his nape and stared into his eyes, “I love it.”

I love you

The words came into Jespers mind again. But even if he had no experience in long relationships, even he knew that it would be a bad idea to say that this early.

So instead he settled on hugging Wylan close to him, and burying his face in his hair.

Jesper never imagined feeling happier.

☾ ✺ ❀ ✤ ❀ ✺ ☾
~~~~~~~~~~~~