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As Gintoki walked through the shiny streets of Kabuki-cho, he couldn't help but feel a little melancholic. Kagura was right, maybe he was getting a little too old, despite the fact that he's technically not "growing old" thanks to the Sazae-san system of aging in this world. After the war, Edo wasn't the same anymore, with its destroyed buildings and upheaved livelihoods. But the people, the stubborn, strong people of Edo and their slow, gradual and constant efforts to reinstate its former glory shone through. Currently, it had become much more modernized than how it was before. The once small izakayas were now proper restaurants, the narrow roads had become broader to accommodate bigger vehicles, the once dark and filthy streets now lit up with numerous streetlights.
He walked faster, the longing of going to an old school street vendor to get shitfaced drunk motivating him. Amidst the shiny new city, Gintoki preferred the dingy old places and had mapped out certain streets which hadn't changed much even with the ever-changing times. The izakaya right around the corner of the street looked the same as it always did. Small, cozy and perfect, with the sweet smell of alcohol and udon surrounding it.
Gintoki sat down on the stool at the far right corner. The izakaya was occupied by one more person, and unfortunately for Gintoki, it was the last person he wanted sitting next to him.
Stupid V-bangs, a cigarette between the lips that often seemed to be in a permanent frown, currently wearing his off-duty yukata that brought out the blue in his eyes (not that Gintoki paid much attention to that of course, it was just a general observation that Hijikata looked really good in blue. He had eyes goddammit! And the officer was easy on it! There, he admitted it. It wasn't that big of a deal and Gintoki was a hundred times more attractive than him anyways.) sat the very own Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi.
The aforementioned man clicked his tongue in annoyance.
"It's you." He said, his voice matching the scowl on his face.
"Now now, is that any way to greet someone? Don't they teach manners there in the Shinsengumi kennel?" Gintoki threw in a bait for him to catch.
"You are the last person I want to learn manners from, you lazy, pathetic excuse for a man!" Hijikata said gritting his teeth, leaning a little more closer to Gintoki.
Hook, line and sinker.
Honestly, at this point he should learn to avoid and ignore the officer. Don't tickle the balls of a sleeping dragon or however the quote goes. But of course, when it came to the infamous Vice Chief, all of Gintoki's sensibilities were thrown out the window for the rush of adrenaline that came with arguing with Hijikata. Arguing with him, annoying him, getting right into his personal space and even having a physical fight with him.
It was something Gintoki didn't understand as well, or maybe it was something he didn't bother to understand. It didn't matter, anyways. When Hijikata pulled on his collar, pulling him close, threatening to punch him, it gave him a satisfaction like nothing else. All of the day's problems that one has living with a sentient pair of glasses and a human food vacuum disappears just like that with just one argument, one fight with Hijikata.
"At least I don't steal the taxes of hard working citizens like you do." Gintoki retorted, getting closer into Hijikata's space.
Just like he predicted, Hijikata grabbed the collar of his yukata and bashed their foreheads together.
"Are you ever not spewing bullshit from that mouth of yours?"
Gintoki, of course pulled Hijikata's collar in retaliation.
"Are you ever not taking the permanent stick up your ass out?"
Hijikata's grip on Gintoki's clothes tightened, the vein on his forehead threatening to explode. Before he could a) retaliate with a stupider comeback to their already stupid argument or b) knock out Gintoki with a punch on the face, he was interrupted by a slightly menancing clearing of throat. The owner of the izakaya, an old man nearing his seventies who had such a feeble presence prior to their argument, smiled at the both of them. The smile seemed to hold threats underlying it, eerily reminding Gintoki of a certain gorilla woman he knew.
"Dear customers, I request you to not make such a ruckus inside this place." The chilly tone of the old man made both Hijikata and Gintoki drop their grip on each other and they sat properly on their stools, looking earnestly at the table in front of them, avoiding the gaze of the owner.
"Sorry." Hijikata said gruffly, as he went back to eating the abomination of what looked like three pieces of udon noodles floating around a sea of mayonnaise.
Gintoki ordered the cheapest sake available with an edible udon. For a while they sat eating in quiet, neither of them wanting to be kicked out. If he's being honest, Gintoki is not all that surprised to find Hijikata here. They've always had similar tastes and he could picture Hijikata not liking the bustling environment of the new gen restaurants.
Hijikata ordered sake for himself as well, more expensive than the one Gintoki was drinking.
"Must be nice to have all that money stolen from upstanding righteous citizens to have good quality alcohol." Gintoki whined, unable to stop himself.
Instead of bursting out in anger like he usually would have done, Hijikata simply sighs.
"Who is an upstanding, righteous citizen? You don't even pay taxes." He grumbled softly as he poured the alcohol into Gintoki's cup as well.
Although taken by surprise, Gintoki didn't remark on Hijikata's unusually kind gesture. He simply clinks his cup against Hijikata's and they down the drink in one shot together.
His throat burns. The alcohol tastes sweet. Hijikata pours themselves a second drink.
"Should you really be out here drinking? China and Glasses would be pissed off, you know?"
Gintoki waves off Hijikata's concerns. "They already know that I am a useless madao, this is nothing new for them. Shinpachi will definitely nag though. And Kagura will beat me up for using the money that could have been used to buy sunboku."
Hijikata mumbled out a few words which Gintoki couldn't make out. He leans in closer.
"What?"
The officer blushed slightly. "I said you aren't useless." Gintoki looks at him in disbelief. He clears his throat and continues. "You are a madao though."
"Ahh and here I thought you were complimenting me." Gintoki teased, his heart feeling inexplicably lighter.
"You bastard, why would I do that?" Hijikata drank the rest of his drink. "You need to take better care of yourself. The kids care about you, you know?"
"I don't wanna hear that from someone who's primary diet consists of cigarettes and mayonnaise. You're also a workaholic. That's the complete trifecta for high blood pressure and early access to hell's fiery gates."
As Hijikata grumbled out a half baked reply about his sugary diet and diabetes, a small (extremely small!!) part of Gintoki couldn't help but feel that it was fun, sitting here and talking to Hijikata and sharing a drink with him.
____
After the weird but not exactly unpleasant drinking session with Hijikata, Gintoki couldn't help but wish for a repeat of the night. Now that he could begrudgingly admit that spending time with the Mayora wasn't that bad, in fact it was also kind of enjoyable, he wished for them to meet up again. Of course, he would rather kill himself than say all of that sappy shit to Hijikata but seeing how they always seemed to end up in the same places, he was sure that they were bound to meet at the izakaya sooner or later. They had run-ins outside of the izakaya, where they argued like they always did, nothing amiss in their behavior. Gintoki could almost believe that the night probably was a figment of his imagination but then he would see a slight softness in Hijikata's gaze sometimes which made the whole ordeal much more rooted in reality.
He stumbled into the bar and sat in the same stool as the last time. He ordered alcohol (the cheapest, as usual, he lost in pachinko again today, he was so sure that he would finally win though.) and waited for the vice commander to show up.
On his fourth glass he realised that Hijikata wasn't gonna show up. What was he doing anyways? Why did he feel a little betrayed? What is he, a jilted lover?
He drank another cup of sake. Stupid Mayora. Where was their unfortunate luck of running into each other when he needed it? Why did he want Hijikata to show up so badly anyways. He's acting like he....misses him or something, which is ridiculous. There's no way he would miss a chainsmoking, ill mannered mayora like Hijikata.
Okay maybe Hijikata wasn't all that bad but that was no reason for him to be all restless at the lack of the man's presence.
Maybe...maybe he did miss Hijikata a little.
Gintoki almost suffered from a stroke trying to admit that to himself. What is this, a cringy fanfiction? He downed another glass of alcohol. He needed to get drunk and erase tonight's memories from his psyche.
_____
Needless to say, when Gintoki had decided not to think about Hijikata anymore, they meet once more in the same izakaya, like some cruel twist of fate.
Hijikata doesn't seem surprised to see Gintoki there. He simply orders a bottle of sake and udon noodles to which he pours in a disgusting amount of mayonnaise.
"Haven't seen you in a long time, Oogushi-kun." Gintoki said, his voice sounding a little strained.
He didn't mean to say it, of course. And it's not like they hadn't met at all. He'd seen glimpses of the officer when he was on his patrols, they'd also argued about some insignificant topic back then, but that wasn't what Gintoki meant.
𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘬𝘢𝘺𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴?
There. That was what he actually wanted to say.
Hijikata looked a little surprised at Gintoki's comment.
"I was busy. We found out about a new hideout used by the joi terrorists, so we've had our hands full with it." He said, lighting up a cigarette.
Of course Hijikata was busy with work. The man was practically married to his job.
"The gorilla is working you hard, huh? You gotta tell him to give you some breaks." He pours some sake into Hijikata's cup.
"I don't need breaks." Hijikata scowls, "and don't call him a gorilla."
"What else do I call a gorilla?" Gintoki asked, just to rile Hijikata up further.
"He's the Chief Commander of Shinsengumi, dammit! Sure, he may look like a gorilla, but he's not one!" Hijikata took an angry whiff of his cigarette.
"So you agree that he looks like a gorilla?" Gintoki grinned. He had missed this. Stupid arguments, Hijikata's gunmetal eyes lighting up in rage, zeroing in on him and him alone.
"What-? No, that's-that's not what I meant!" Hijikata hastily tries to cover up his Freudian slip. "Stop twisting my words!"
And there he is, right in Gintoki's space, face inches from his. Before Gintoki could agitate him further, a loud thump on the table distracted him.
The bar owner looked at them, exasperated, his palms on the table. Gintoki clicked his tongue
"Hijikata-kun, you mustn't create such a ruckus in public."
He could sense Hijikata itching to scream at Gintoki or throw a punch at him which made him smirk. He raised his eyebrows at Hijikata in question.
𝘋𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵?
Hijikata scowled as he took a long puff of the cigarette and blew the smoke on Gintoki's face.
Gintoki coughed, choking on the scent of nicotine. That damn bastard, Hijikata.
"Oi! Do you even know the dangers of second hand smoke? Gin-san cannot die of COPD at such a young age."
Hijikata laughed at that. An actual laugh, all open mouthed and unrestrained, similar to how he had laughed after eating the Uji Gintoki-don, his eyes crinkling at the corners. The sight made Gintoki's heart lurch a little.
"Should have thought of that before annoying the fuck out of me."
Gintoki could still hear the clear sound of Hijikata's laughter still ringing in his ears. The way he was feeling was a little different than usual. Maybe he missed Hijikata a little more than he had initially thought. Trying to calm the beating of his heart, he wills himself to continue whatever conversation he was having with the officer.
If anything, tonight had proved one pivotal thing to him. He enjoyed spending time with Hijikata. So much so that he found himself wishing for the night to never end, for them to not part ways soon.
As they walked out of the izakaya into the quiet of the night, Hijikata stopped under a streetlight.
"The barracks are this way." He said softly.
"Right. Well. See you, I guess." Gintoki tried not to let the disappointment creep into his voice.
"Um. I might be free this Friday. To visit the izakaya." Hijikata spat out the sentence so quickly that Gintoki thought that he imagined it. Before he could reply, the officer practically ran away towards the Shinsengumi barracks.
He's free this Friday. That's two days from now.Gintoki couldn't help but smile to himself. Since when did the mere prospect of spending time with the world's most annoying, chainsmoking workaholic mayora make him this happy? He's got to get jobs and save money if he plans on drinking and eating out again. Even the idea of work which previously would have made him curse out the capitalistic society didn't seem so bad anymore. His steps feel lighter than ever before. He feels liberated as hops back to his place with a warm feeling in his chest.
_____
He's doomed, absolutely doomed. Somehow him and Hijikata ended up meeting quite often. What started as weekly meetings turned to biweekly meetings which then resulted in them meeting every other day. If Shinpachi and Kagura were suspicious about his outings, they never brought it up. Gintoki always had a feeling that they knew more than they let on. The meetings weren't the reason he was doomed. On the contrary, they were quite fun. He always felt a sense of comfort with Hijikata since the two of them were so similar. No, the real reason is that during one of their usual rendez-vous, Hijikata simply smiled at him unreservedly and Gintoki had the Earth shattering realisation that he 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘥 Hijikata. Liked him quite a lot. And not the kind of like one has towards their friends or people they respect, no, but the kind of like where he wants to push Hijikata against a wall and kiss him breathless and bite his neck like a goddamn animal and pull his dark straight hair and feel his quivering body underneath his palms and...wait what was the rating of this fic again?
Hijikata should never find this out. What if he freaks out and their meetings come to a full stop? Gintoki couldn't deal with that. Because outside of him liking him, he had grown to appreciate Hijikata as a very good friend. He can't lose him just because he doesn't have a rein on his emotions. Or even worse, knowing how kind Hijikata actually is, he would probably pity Gintoki and pretend like everything is okay and quietly distance himself to not hurt Gintoki's pride.
Hence, Gintoki decided that he's going to be extremely subtle about this. He will not act on these extremely unwelcome feelings. He'll just stare at Hijikata's lips a little while longer as he squashes the urge to lick off the foam from the beer on it. He'll just steal glances at him while he's eating his dog food. He'll just annoy him a bit more so that his undivided attention is on him. Real subtle.
"Are you drunk already?" Hijikata smirks at him as Gintoki was once again lost in his thoughts of how unfairly pretty the officer looked.
"Gin-san is not the type to get drunk on three shots of cheap sake." He fired back.
Hijikata laughs. He had been doing that a lot lately. Laughing. Which did not help Gintoki's predicament.
"You were pretty drunk that night. You vomited on my shoes. They were my work shoes!"
"Are you still going on about that? Let it go, Hijikata-kun, it's been ages."
"It was last week! Don't drink so much if you can't handle your alcohol."
"Hey! What about you? Remember when you mistook me for mechazaki? You kept telling me to commit seppuku!"
"That doesn't count!" Hijikata protested.
"Wanna have a drinking contest to see who has a greater tolerance?"
"You're on!"
This wasn't the first drinking contest they've had and will probably will not be the last. Every contest ends up in the same way, with them lying on some random street or in their respective homes with blurry memories of the previous night. And even though Gintoki woke up with the worst hangover in the history of hangovers, it was fun.
Later they staggered on the street, leaning on each other for support heading towards the Yorozuya building. The winner of the contest was undetermined but in his completely unbiased opinion, Hijikata was much more drunk than he was.
"Hijikata-kun...isn't your place in the opposite direction?"
Hijikata looked at him with an unreadable expression and then after a few beats of silence, he looked away, his ears slightly red.
"You're drunk. It's my duty as a Shinsengumi officer to escort you home."
Gintoki sniggered at that. It was him who was clearly supporting Hijikata up, the guy was absolutely plastered. But hey, if he gets more time to spend with him, then who is he to complain. He resumed walking, his hand tightening a little more around Hijikata's waist.
As they climbed the stairs to his apartment (with surprising difficultly...maybe Gintoki was more drunk than he had estimated) they dawdled at the door, unsure of what to do next.
"I'll go now." Hijikata said, sounding surprisingly sober.
Gintoki held his wrist. "You could...stay."
"I need to wake up early tomorrow. Work."
"Right. Right. Of course."
The drinks were an absolute waste of money, because currently Gintoki was more sober than he had been in the entire night.
Hijikata made no move to leave. Gintoki's hand was still on his wrist. He moved his fingers slightly to feel Hijikata's pulse which thrummed violently against his fingertips. The officer looked at their connected hands in silence with a slight blush on his face.
Gintoki himself could feel his heart beating in an alarming pace in his ears. He felt like if he doesn't kiss Hijikata in the next few seconds, he will actually die. With his other hand shaking slightly, he cupped Hijikata's face. The man looked at him with a dazed expression, his lips slightly open. Gintoki leaned in, his thumb caressing Hijikata's cheek.
This is it. He will finally get to do what he had wanted to do for months.
Except he doesn't. Before he could close the maddening distance between their lips, Hijikata placed his palm on Gintoki's mouth.
Oh.
Did he read the signals wrong? Well, this was mortifying. Maybe he should look inside a vending machine for a time machine. Quick, what can he do to salvage this?
𝘏𝘪𝘫𝘪𝘬𝘢𝘵𝘢-𝘬𝘶𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘳𝘪𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵...𝘣𝘺 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵?
No, even the dumb as rocks officer will figure out that that's a lie. Maybe he should leave Kabuki-cho and live in the countryside. He was getting too old for the city life anyways. Or maybe he could hit Hijikata on the head and make him forget about tonight entirely.
Hijikata's palm was still on his lips.
"You...don't do something that you don't mean." He finally spoke, his voice breaking a little.
𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵?
Hijikata misread his expression as he continued to speak. "Tomorrow...you'll think of this as a drunken mistake and forget it but for me...for me..." He stopped, unable to finish his sentence.
Gintoki looked at him with a blank expression, unable to process the implications of what Hijikata was saying.
"Hijikata-kun." He started, his voice surprisingly steady, "What do you mean?"
Hijikata meets his eyes and the expression on his face gives it away to Gintoki. He was not reading the signals wrong. The mayora, he...he just confessed to Gintoki in the most roundabout way possible. And he hundred percent expected to get rejected. With his heart in his hands, he leans forward.
"Hijikata, you absolute 𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘰𝘵." Before Hijikata's face could morph into annoyance, Gintoki grabs him and pulls him into a kiss.
Hijikata's lips were soft just like he had imagined, albeit slightly chapped. The officer seemed to freeze up slightly in the beginning but then, responded with vigour as he pushed Gintoki against the door and kissed him back, his hands filled with silver hair.
They broke apart for a while, slightly breathless, after which Hijikata pulled him back for another kiss.
"You...have no idea how long I've wanted to do this." Gintoki said in midst of kisses, trying to catch his breath.
"You should have just done it, then." Hijikata bites his lips, somewhat in anger. Gintoki couldn't help but smile.
"That hurt." He retaliated by biting Hijikata neck and then nuzzling against it, taking in the scent of smoke, alcohol and Hijikata.
"Good." He couldn't see it, but he was sure that Hijikata was smiling too.
"I really have to go though, I have work tomorrow." He said, finally pushing Gintoki away.
Gintoki pouted. "Aww Hijikata-kun, you're no fun."
Hijikata pokes his ribs. "Shut up."
As he turns to leave, he looks back at Gintoki. "I'm free tomorrow night, so let's meet up."
Gintoki perked up. "No drinking though, please. Gin-san's liver cannot take anymore of it."
"Liar. You'll start drinking in two days again." Hijikata shakes his head in exasperation, but Gintoki perceives a slight fondness in his dark eyes. "Let's do something else then. We'll figure it out tomorrow."
Gintoki nods and then kisses Hijikata for one last time before he finally let the officer go. He feels giddy at the prospect of their relationship developing further. Unlike before, their parting doesn't bring him the slight pain and yearning but instead brings promises of the next meet. He never thought that he could actually feel this happy at just the thought of one person.Oh, how far the mighty have fallen! But Gintoki doesn't regret it. Not a single bit.