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It’s a cool autumn day, a chilly breeze brushing past you and Dirk as you walk along your usual park trail. This was a frequent pastime of yours– striding along the sparsely populated, trodden dirt path and talking about whatever came to mind. It let both of you get out of the house for a while, and sometimes accompanied an actual romantic “date”. Today was one such instance, as you’d just had a late lunch at a favorite restaurant of yours.
Though the day has been enjoyable, you are unusually nervous. You didn’t suggest this day out for no reason – you were planning something, something you’d been preparing for weeks now, and something you weren't even sure would go well. You wanted to try, though, you felt like you had to with how much effort you’d put into it, and it hadn’t been easy. A lot of research, a lot of phone calls, quite a bit of money spent, and all you can do now is hope it will all be worth it.
If Dirk senses your anxiety, he doesn’t mention it, as he continues to go on about his latest robotics project, the one that’s been taking up your dining room table for the better part of two months now. It’s caused Dirk more problems than he would have liked, a lot of parts had broken or malfunctioned, and he uses a bunch of jargon that you are gradually starting to understand the more you listen to him talk about it.
You bury your face into your scarf, face feeling incredibly hot despite the chilly temperatures. Dirk takes notice of this and turns to face you, hands shoved in his bomber jacket.
DIRK: You cold? We can head home if you want.
KANKRI: N9, n9, it’s, ah…
You glance around the area and spot a wooden bench not too far ahead. That would be a good spot, wouldn’t it?
KANKRI: Can we sit d9wn f9r a m9ment?
DIRK: Sure.
You head over to the bench, Dirk letting out an exhale as you both sit. It’s silent between you, but not uncomfortable, even if you can’t stop fiddling with the edges of your sweater. When should you start? How should you start? You’d rehearsed what you were going to do and say in your head countless times leading up to today, but now, in the moment, your thoughts feel so scattered.
DIRK: Feels nice out here.
DIRK: Never thought I’d get used to anything other than the Texas heat.
KANKRI: Yes, I agree.
KANKRI: Where I grew up the climate was fairly average, I’d say, s9 the temperature was never t99 h9t 9r t99 c9ld. It was very similar t9 this.
DIRK: Yeah, I’ve noticed you’re not a fan of extreme temperatures, mister all-bundled-up-in-fifty-degree-weather.
KANKRI: 9h c9me 9n. Y9u aren’t wr9ng, 6ut it still isn’t funny.
DIRK: It’s not funny, it’s endearing. There’s a difference.
Dirk grins and stretches his arm behind you, resting it on your shoulder. You suddenly feel much hotter. You have to get on with this soon before the moment passes entirely.
KANKRI: I– Dirk…
KANKRI: I have s9mething I’ve 6een meaning t9 tell y9u.
DIRK: Yeah?
DIRK: What’s up?
KANKRI: I…
Deep breath. You can do this.
KANKRI: I just wanted t9 tell y9u h9w much I appreciate having y9u in my life.
DIRK: ...Oh.
You stop Dirk before he can say any more. You have to get this all out there first.
KANKRI: It’s just… I never in a milli9n sweeps th9ught I w9uld ever h9ld such str9ng feelings for s9me9ne else. Part 9f the reas9n I kept my v9w 9f celi6acy f9r s9 l9ng, I think, is I was… afraid. I was terrified 9f letting any9ne see me as anything less than a c9mpetent, well-sp9ken tr9ll wh9 happened t9 have a 6l99d mutati9n. I didn’t want t9 6e reduced t9 wh9 I was when I was culled ever again, and I put up all these fronts layered in s9cial c9mmentary and hyp9theticals 6ecause I c9uldn’t 6ear the th9ught 9f actually 6eing vulnerable with s9me9ne. Even n9w, I admit, it’s difficult f9r me t9 6e direct with y9u a69ut this.
KANKRI: 6ut then I met y9u, and y9u seemed t9 just see right thr9ugh the walls I’d s9 carefully crafted, 6ecause y9u actually listened t9 what I had to say, y9u truly listened when n969dy else w9uld, and y9u c9uld read 6etween my lines, s9 t9 speak. Y9u picked up 9n traits of mine that I was unaware 9f myself, y9u learned a69ut what upset me 9r– 9r triggered me, and y9u never used any 9f that against me even when y9u had every 9pp9rtunity at y9ur disp9sal to. I c9uldn’t understand it, and it frustrated me t9 n9 end. I still d9n’t understand it, really, 6ut n9w I can at least 6e appreciative 9f it.
KANKRI: Y9u are just… a remarkable pers9n, Dirk, y9u truly are. I kn9w y9u think l9wly 9f y9urself, 6ut I mean it when I say y9u are the m9st imp9rtant pers9n in my life. And I… I want t9 spend the rest 9f 9ur lives, h9wever l9ng that may 6e, pr9ving just h9w much y9u mean t9 me.
DIRK: Kankri, what…?
KANKRI: Please let me finish. I… I’ve 6een d9ing a l9t 9f research, and put a l9t 9f th9ught int9 what I’m d9ing right n9w. This is s9mething we’ve already talked a69ut 6ef9re, I kn9w, 6ut please understand I didn’t make this decisi9n lightly.
This is the crucial moment. You wriggle yourself free from Dirk’s arm and drop down to kneel in front of the bench. You procure a small box from your tote bag, hands trembling as you open it to present a shiny, silver ring. Dirk is staring down at you in disbelief.
KANKRI: Please d9 n9t feel 96ligated t9 say yes, 6ecause the last thing I want is f9r y9u t9 feel pressured t9 make such a life-changing decisi9n 9n the sp9t, 6ut… Dirk, I w9uld like t9 ask f9r y9ur hand in marriage.
Dirk’s expression is unreadable, and each millisecond that passes only makes your anxiety grow. He silently reaches for the ring box, and you hand it over to him. Dirk just looks down at the ring in bewilderment.
DIRK: I… Kankri, are you sure you want this?
KANKRI: If this is s9mething y9u want, then yes, I want it t99.
KANKRI: I didn’t mess anything up, did I? I did all the research I c9uld int9 human marriage pr9p9sals and tried t9 f9ll9w the main p9ints as 6est as I p9ssi6ly c9uld, 6ut 9f c9urse there’s always a chance I did s9mething wr9ng 9r appr9priative, and–
DIRK: Kankri.
Dirk interrupts you and tugs you forward by the scarf, pulling you into a warm embrace. All of the tension in your body instantly melts away as Dirk sighs shakily into your shoulder. You sit like that for a moment, waiting for a response from Dirk, until you hear a faint sniffling sound, and your heart drops.
KANKRI: Dirk, are y9u crying? What’s wr9ng??
DIRK: No! No, I’m fine.
DIRK: Just… fuck, man, I wasn’t expecting this. I really had no idea you were planning this, you sneaky bastard.
KANKRI: Is that… a 6ad thing? I was under the assumpti9n that pr9p9sals are meant t9 6e a surprise.
DIRK: It’s not bad. I’m just upset at myself for not noticing something was up.
KANKRI: Well it w9uldn’t 6e a surprise then, w9uld it?
DIRK: No, guess not.
He chuckles lightly, and releases you from his embrace to further examine the ring. He gently pulls it from the box, holding it up to the light.
DIRK: This is nice, where’d you even get it?
KANKRI: I… I had it cust9m made. I have 9ne f9r myself 6ack at 9ur hive.
KANKRI: It’s engraved with 9ur initials and 9ur sym69ls. I didn’t want t9 g9 t99 9ver69ard with the design, I h9pe that’s alright.
DIRK: No, man. It’s perfect.
Dirk smiles as he says it, and your heart swells as relief washes over you knowing he likes the ring, and that you didn’t completely mess this up. There’s still one small thing, though…
KANKRI: As I said 6ef9re, I d9n’t want y9u t9 feel rushed int9 making a decisi9n, 6ut have y9u… th9ught a69ut it at all?
DIRK: Kankri.
DIRK: Come on.
DIRK: You could have fucked this whole thing up and I still would have said yes, what kinda chump do you take me for?
KANKRI: !!!
KANKRI: N9t– n9t just 9ut 9f 96ligati9n th9ugh, right? 6ecause–
DIRK: Hey.
He puts a hand on the back of your head and brings you in for a kiss, soft and chaste and not unlike many other kisses you've shared, yet it makes you want to melt.
DIRK: I wouldn’t want anything else.
DIRK: We’re gonna get so fucking married, dude.
DIRK: I don’t think anybody’s prepared for the immense amount of marriage we’re about to bring to the table. The gods above would be weeping if we weren’t already the gods of this planet.
You can’t help it – you laugh. You’re giddy as you bury your face into the fuzzy collar of his coat, and really, you don’t know if you’ve ever felt more happy in your life. Dirk seems to have that effect on you, you’ve noticed. He lets out a huff - which is the closest approximation to a bemused chuckle from him - and nuzzles his nose into your hair as he keeps you held close.
You really aren’t one for PDA, and in any other circumstance you’d probably be embarrassed by being so intimate out in the open where anyone could see, but as far as you’re concerned, you and Dirk are the only people in the universe right now.
DIRK: Oh yeah… there is one thing you forgot to do.
KANKRI: Huh?
You lift your head to look at him, anxiety briefly running through you because how could you have forgotten something? Dirk doesn’t seem upset in the slightest, though, and only reaches down to take your hand, turning it over and carefully placing the ring in your open palm. Then, he lifts his own hand, presenting the front of it to you.
DIRK: You ever heard the phrase “put a ring on it”?
DIRK: Honestly, I don’t care all that much about following traditions, but it feels disingenuous to just put the ring on myself.
KANKRI: …9h!
You glance down at the ring, then back up at Dirk, and then down at his hand. You hold the ring between your fingers and gently take his hand, and… which one was it supposed to go on again? Third one from the thumb, right. The ring slides right onto his finger without issue, and you’re relieved it seems to fit. He raises his hand upward when you’re done, flipping his hand around to take in how it looks on him, and his lips quirk into a smile, clearly pleased.
DIRK: Nice.
DIRK: You know… I feel kind of bad that I don’t have anything special for you.
KANKRI: Y9u d9n’t have t9 w9rry a69ut that, Dirk, it was a surprise, after all. I hardly expect anything in return, 9ther than, well…
KANKRI: …Y9u kn9w.
DIRK: I know?
KANKRI: Y9ur… l9ve.
You can’t help but duck your head down as you say it, feeling your cheeks heat up. It’s always been difficult for you to actually say the word, though with your relationship with Dirk you know it isn’t necessary. Even so, you *want* him to hear it from time to time, no matter how embarrassing it is for you. Not that loving him is embarrassing, of course, but… you just struggle to express yourself properly sometimes, alright?
Though Dirk isn’t any better than you in the emotionally constipated department, and he looks just as flustered when you raise your head again.
DIRK: Hah, well…
DIRK: Good thing I’ve got plenty of that layin’ around.
DIRK: An endless supply, really.
DIRK: I’m drowning in this stuff, and somebody’s gotta be there to help a bro out.
DIRK: And I can’t think of anyone who’s more suited for the job.
DIRK: But seriously.
He rests a hand on your cheek, the simple gesture making your heart flutter even after all your time together. His forehead rests against yours, voice low enough that only you have the privilege of hearing his words.
DIRK: I can’t wait to marry you.
DIRK: And…
DIRK: I love you. A whole fuckin’ lot.
DIRK: Don’t you ever think otherwise.
Oh, dear. Now you’re the one getting all misty-eyed. You take a shaky breath as you pull him into another embrace, hiding your face in his shoulder. He says nothing as he holds you tight, as he knows how much you hate it when he draws attention to your vulnerable moments. You don’t mind being vulnerable, though, not around him. Just a few sweeps ago, you never could’ve imagined being as close to someone as you are to Dirk in this moment. You would’ve laughed at the mere notion of letting yourself be intimate with another person.
But you were stubborn and hurting back then, you know. You still aren’t perfect, and you know that, too. That Dirk has even stuck with you after all this time is something you still struggle to comprehend at times. But now this, this quiet moment between the two of you where nothing else in the world matters, is something you wouldn’t want to have any other way.
You wouldn’t trade this for the universe.