Mended With Gold

The frenetic strobing of red and blue light covered the street in its chaotic glow, the stillness of the rainy night undercut by the rumble of idling engines and the sharp static chirps of radio traffic. Raindrops danced in the glare of emergency beacons, forming a brightly lit storm of color and activity. In the center of a maelstrom of fire trucks, police cars, and ambulances, a gray sedan rested like a wounded animal, its hood caved in from an uncontrolled collision with a concrete retaining wall. A lazy haze of smoke and steam wafted from the shattered engine block as paramedics nearby assessed the driver. Standing nearby, fluorescent jacket reflecting the lights of the emergency vehicles around her, a police officer with lavender hair directed traffic around the incident, her professional demeanor and practiced hand signals to oncoming traffic undercut by her soaked hair and uniform, giving the officer the appearance of an agitated wet cat, rather than a public servant. 

Officer Amity Blight had worked for the Gravesfield Police Department for nearly two years, and had seen her fair share of traffic accidents in Gravesfield’s mercurial weather. Luckily, the paramedics had just come by to let her know that the vehicle’s seatbelt and airbag had done their job, sparing the driver from serious injury, and they’d likely be cleaning up the scene shortly. Reaching for the radio microphone clipped to her chest, she took a moment to check the street signs around her, and thumbed the switch on the mic.

“207-Baker.”

“207-Baker.” The cheerful voice of a male dispatcher chirped back, Amity immediately recognized the voice on the other end as her friend Gus, a seasoned dispatcher with the county’s dispatch center. Smiling to herself, she felt a moment of satisfaction, knowing that Gus wouldn’t leave them stuck out in the downpour for long.

“207-Baker, can I get a 10-51 routed my location? We’ll be on Grover, cross of Fort St., for a grey four-door Kia sedan, Connecticut marker Adam-Nora-two-six-four-oh-five.”

“207-Baker, clear on your tow request, we’ll have the next available hook on rotation your way. 0347.”

Satisfied, Amity focused back on the road, waving a group of cars around the emergency scene. Looking across the intersection to where her cruiser sat, the SUV’s lights contributing to the ethereal scene around her, she called out to another officer who sat in the passenger seat of the SUV, carefully dictating a report on the incident on the cruiser’s mobile computer. 

“Luz! Can you start to grab our cones? County’s got a hook on the way, and EMS will be clearing soon, gonna start cleaning up!” 

The officer looked up at the call, her short brown curls bobbing as she nodded an acknowledgement. “Yep! Just a sec!” 

Looking around the crash scene, Amity noticed the paramedics closing the doors on the back of the ambulance, and held up her hand to indicate oncoming traffic to wait as the ambulance’s siren picked up, the deafening yelp cutting through the stillness of the rain. The large vehicle carefully maneuvered its way through the scene before picking up speed in the direction of Gravesfield General Hospital, the wail of the siren growing distant as the ambulance picked up speed, joining the sounds of the night as it whisked its patient to safety. As the ambulance departed, Luz joined her in the rain, meandering over to a line of orange traffic cones that the pair had set up shortly after arriving on the scene, reflective orange surfaces warding traffic around the area. Luz began the process of stacking the cones, lifting each by its weighted base and stacking it on top of the others, nesting a small tower of the devices together. Amity grinned, watching Luz playfully toss the stack of cones together. Her partner had a knack for making even the most dull parts of their job exciting, finding fun in the simple parts of public service, and it was what had drawn them together. 

It seemed like only yesterday, though it was coming up on a year, that the two of them had been made partners. Initially, they’d gotten off to a rocky start. Luz was an excitable, high-speed officer, the first to dash to someone’s aid and the first to write a warning or make any traffic stop into a learning experience. Amity was much more by-the-book, and for the first few weeks after Sgt. Clawthorne had partnered them with a jokingly informal ceremony consisting of the bird-like woman suppressing laughter as she recited: “ By the power vested in me by the state of Connecticut and our dear Chief Bumpikins, I now pronounce you two partners. Now go forth and don’t give me any extra paperwork. ”, their styles had chafed. Now, almost a year later, they were close friends, having gone through anything and everything the great City of Gravesfield could throw at them, as a team. 

Unexpectedly, after a few nights at the bar, dinners, and movie nights over the last few weeks, that friendship had started to turn into something more. They hadn’t put a label on it, but the feeling of cuddling up with the other woman for a long movie night after the stress of a shift where neither had to justify anything they were feeling to each other started to feel like it was filling a hole in her life Amity didn’t know she had, and now wasn’t sure she could live without. There was something so soft and warm about Luz. Her unwavering positivity in the face of even the worst parts of the job and passion for taking care of people were deeply endearing, and, Amity could admit, had even helped her break out of the letter of the job and into the spirit. For now, she was content with letting whatever it was they had started to grow, and let herself take a moment to admire her partner’s strong arms lifting the stack of weighted cones off the wet pavement. 

Luz had straightened up, hefting a stack of cones to her chest, when Amity noticed the other woman suddenly seem to jump, her face contorting in a moment of pain, before a scowl overtook Luz’s face. Luz let out a deep breath as she settled the cones in her arms, and continued over to the waiting trunk of their cruiser. Amity had noticed these little moments plenty of times over the last year, and they’d always given her pause, but the moments had never stopped Luz from doing her job. Amity had always figured it wasn’t her business, but the moments piqued her curiosity all the same. A beacon of flashing amber light coming down the road shocked her from her musing, and Amity turned to direct the incoming tow truck into the scene, pointing the operator to the stricken sedan.

A few minutes later, with paperwork signed and the wreck cleared from the sidewalk, Amity and Luz piled back into their cruiser, stripping their soaking raincoats off to take a moment’s respite from the all-encompassing damp that had snuck its way into the haven of their cruiser’s front seat from the intensifying downpour outside. Luz still had a slight grimace on her face, staring intently at the car’s data terminal as she finalized the accident report. Her brown curls were matted over her tanned skin, and Amity felt a slight flush cross her own face as her partner fiddled with the terminal’s mount, trying to force the keyboard’s mounting arm into a more comfortable position. “You and that thing will never get along.” Amity quipped, watching Luz grumble at a stuck toggle that, if freed, would let her rotate the keyboard around freely. 

“This thing needs to just listen to me for once, otherwise this report is going to take twice as long.” Luz grumbled, gritting her teeth and delivering a forceful palm strike to the toggle, finally managing to wrench it free, her damp hair shaking off droplets onto Amity’s uniform with the force of the motion. Sputtering, Amity shot Luz a teasing look, brushing some of the water off of her ballistic vest. 

“Hey, watch it, you can keep all the water on your side!” Amity laughed, throwing her soaked raincoat into Luz’s lap, earning an annoyed look from her partner. 

“Amity, partner, honey, you look like a drowned cat. There’s no getting you wetter.” Luz chuckled, giving Amity a playful smirk in response. 

“I mean, I don’t know about that, Batata .” Amity shot back, her teasing tone putting just enough emphasis on the pet name to send a flush across Luz’s face, her partner suddenly becoming very interested in the computer’s screen again. 

“ Ams …” Luz chided, poking at the keyboard’s buttons, the red light of the keys matching her face. “But you’re right, we’re both soaked, and I need something from the precinct. When we’re clear, are you good if we pop back to the station?”

Amity smiled, enjoying the moment to mess with her partner, before nodding, surveying the rapidly concluding scene outside of their window. “Sounds good, sorry for teasing you. I’ll call us 10-8 and we can roll back.” With a nod from Luz, Amity thumbed the switch of her radio’s microphone again, waiting for its cheerful beep to let her know it was broadcasting.

“207-Baker.”

“207-Baker, go ahead.” Gus’s voice returned to her ear, with the same cheerful tone. She needed some of whatever Gus was drinking to have as much energy as he did.

“207-Baker, you can show the accident scene at Grover cross Fort code 4, EMS and Fire departed scene, one PT transported, we’ll be 10-8, signal 7 and signal 1 with report, en-route to station.”

“207-Baker, showing you clear off your incident, in service and routing to station, 0412.”

Amity guided the SUV forward, turning off the red and blue strobes with a flick of her thumb to the siren box’s master switch, and their cruiser rumbled to life, rejoining the flow of traffic. The drive was filled with light banter and Luz’s favorite rock playlist as the pair watched the rain dance in their headlights. The skyscrapers of downtown Gravesfield began to grow larger as they approached the metropolitan district, and they soon turned into the secured parking lot of the Gravesfield Police Department’s downtown station. Stepping inside, the pair turned off into the women’s locker room, hanging their soaked raincoats on hooks in the heated locker room to give them a chance to dry. 

Sitting down on a bench near the door of the locker room, Amity pulled out her phone, scrolling through social media as Luz wandered over to her locker, some grumbling and the familiar clanging of the metal door opening from around the corner announcing her partner’s success in yet another battle with the often testy lock. Amity continued her idle scrolling, stumbling upon a new piece of fanart of the pair’s favorite movie characters, Hecate and Azura from The Good Witch Azura, as a knight and a princess in an alternate universe, the two locked in a passionate embrace. Excited, she jumped up, rounding the corner, fanart in hand, when she stopped in her tracks. Luz had unstrapped her plate carrier, putting it next to the locker, her uniform shirt and undershirt draped over the top of the ballistic carrier. Dressed in a sports bra and her uniform pants, Luz was fighting the tab of a white package that looked like it came out of a first aid kit, the label plainly visible to Amity as she rounded the corner. “Maximum Strength Lidocaine Pain Relief Patch - Topical Anesthetic”. Stopping in her tracks, Amity stared at her partner, her toned arms straining at the white bag, trying to rip the sterile package open. “Luz?”

Luz, startled, turned around in a flash, dropping the still-sealed package to the floor of the locker room. “Oh, shit, Amity! Hi! Uh. Do you have any scissors?” Her partner blushed, face glowing in the harsh halogen light of the empty locker room. Pushing down the sapphic voice in her head which was actively lighting itself on fire, she pulled a pair of trauma shears off of her plate carrier, passing them over to Luz.

“Here. What’s… going on? What’s this? Are you ok?” Amity looked at her partner with concern, watching Luz reach down to grab the fallen package. 

“Yeah, I’m… it’s a long story.” Luz looked bashful, rubbing the back of her neck. 

“We’ve got time. What’s going on, partner?” Amity responded, motioning Luz back over to the bench. 

“It’s… a thing that happened a while back. When I was still in FTO. We got on this traffic stop, car flagged for warrants, and my TO and I were getting ready to get him out of the car. Asshole decided he wanted to fight, and suddenly we’re scrapping with him out on the pavement. We finally got him more or less under control, with a couple backup units, and we were about to shove him in the back of the cruiser when he leaned over and almost bit Sgt. Clawthorne’s shoulder. Some tough guy on his other arm decided instead of just trying to control his head we’d just go straight back to the ground.” Luz’s hand started to shake, fingers absently tapping out a rhythm on the side of the chair as she spoke. “Didn’t say anything, just suddenly swept his leg and the whole stack of five of us and the suspect were diving for the ground. I hit the pavement, hard, on my side, and Sgt. Clawthorne came down on top of me. Her body weight just landed perfectly on my ribcage, and I could have sworn I heard something make a popping noise inside my chest.” Luz shuddered, recalling the feeling. 

 “We finished up the whole shitshow, took the guy downtown, and everything was pretty much ok. A little sore, but nothing overwhelming. Next day, we’re out on the road again, and I’m in more pain than I’ve ever been in my life. Like, can’t breathe, can’t think, my vest feels like it’s crushing my whole body like a vice, and I end up going to the ER. Buncha scans, and the verdict was something the doc called costochondritis. Essentially the stuff connecting my ribs to my sternum decided to just… freak out. And it hurt. More than just about anything I’ve ever felt. Apparently the pain of some cases of it can be comparable to heart attack pain. I’d rather get OCed again.” Luz chuckled darkly, the sound lacking the genuine warmth she generally projected. 

“For the first six months I honestly thought I was going to die every night. It was terrifying.” Luz looked down at her lap, clenching her fists. “That was two years ago, and it still hurts. Constantly. Most of the time it’s a dull ache, more uncomfortable than painful, but sometimes it flares up and feels like a knife and it can double me over. Those cones decided to piss it off a bit, so I use stuff like this to numb it out.” She indicated the lidocaine patch, mockingly still unopened despite her effort. Amity felt the shock on her face, the numb concern as she processed what her partner had been experiencing. She put a hand on Luz’s shoulder, hoping that the pressure and presence was reassuring. 

“I… don’t really talk about it fully to people at work. Not the real effects of the injury at least. I’ve always been scared that people will think I’m unreliable if my ribs can suddenly just flare up on me. It’s never stopped me before, and I can’t let it stop me now. This job is my calling, and I can’t stand the idea of being ‘less than’ because someone else made a mistake in a bad situation and it hurt me. But when it flares it just pisses me off. Makes me feel like somehow I’m broken.” Luz’s shoulders shook, her eyes glistening with frustration and hurt as tears threatened to well up. Amity moved her hand from Luz’s shoulder and wrapped it around her partner’s back, pulling her into a hug. The motion felt almost alien when they weren’t on the couch of Luz’s apartment, watching The Good Witch Azura The Movie 2: The Betrayanning for the umpteenth time, but it still felt right. Luz relaxed slightly into the embrace, leaning her head onto Amity’s shoulder, managing to find a comfortable position despite the cables and equipment that covered Amity’s armored torso.

Amity took a deep breath, giving the woman in her embrace a tighter squeeze. “Luz. You’re not broken. The fact that you continue to show up, day after day, and keep doing this job, even when it hurts, and put so much of yourself into helping others… that’s not broken, that’s strength. You’re strong. Something awful and painful happened to you, and you turned that energy into continuing to do your best to help people. We all come into this knowing we can get hurt, but that doesn’t make getting hurt not impactful. It doesn’t make it not a big deal to get hurt. And it’s ok to be mad that it happened. It’s unfair. And it’s not a bad thing to do whatever you’ve gotta do to keep yourself ok. Don’t let yourself feel bad because you need a little extra support sometimes.” As Amity talked, Luz nestled herself closer to her partner, and Amity felt the shaking in the other woman’s shoulders start to subside. 

“It’s kinda funny. You can actually feel it. My fourth rib, right here.” Luz pointed to her own chest, and Amity noticed a small bump in her ribcage, slightly protruding from the sternum. Luz took Amity’s hand and gently placed it on the center of her chest, and Amity could feel the bump plainly, a spot of damage, never quite fixed. An unpleasant speed bump, often tripped over. But she could also feel Luz’s heart thrumming its steady rhythm underneath, unwavering. Taking a deep breath, Amity ran her finger over her partner’s ribs from where her hand had been placed, pausing slightly at the point that was slightly out of place. A deep blush had taken over her face, matching a similar one on Luz’s.

“I think… it’s beautiful. In a weird way. Like, it totally sucks, but it’s a mark of you. The things you’ve survived. And you’re still here. Like when they fix pottery with gold because the cracks are a part of the journey and deserve to be celebrated. Whatever that’s called. It’s a part of you. And-” Whatever Amity was about to say was cut off by Luz, their lips suddenly joining as her partner rose up to meet her lips like a crashing wave of appreciation and love. Amity melted into the kiss, pulling Luz closer to her, until they broke away, faces flushed and gazes full of care and love. 

“Thank you, Amity. Seriously.” Amity, for her part, was still mentally playing catch up, the sapphic part of her brain she’d repressed minutes ago sprinting back into play like an olympic athlete. 

“Of course. And… wow. Though we should probably be careful doing that at work.” Amity gave Luz a dopey grin, giving her partner one more close hug for good measure. “You get that patch on, and let’s go help some people. And then it’s definitely a movie night tonight.”

Luz smiled, getting to her feet, giving Amity the brightest smile she’d ever seen. “Sounds like a plan, partner. Let’s get going.”