Chapter Text
“Suguru!” Gojo’s voice called down the hallway, followed quickly by hastened footsteps. Geto paused, almost frozen, at hearing the familiar voice calling his name. Slowly, he turned around, giving a white-haired boy a confused look.
”I thought you were on a mission.” Geto said and faced him, placing one hand into his pocket.
”Yeah, but I managed to finish early and got back in time to see you.” Gojo explained with a smile as he rubbed his neck. Geto remained silent for a moment, which Gojo took as an invitation to continue. “I know you have a mission, but can we talk for a moment? I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while, I’ve just been so sucked up in training and missions that I haven’t had any time to focus on really anyone or anything else.” Training and missions? It felt like just an excuse.
”Satoru, I can’t. I have to get ready to go-“ Geto tried to turn away in an attempt to dismiss Gojo, but he was quickly forced into a nearby classroom by Gojo’s Limitless. “Satoru, you can’t just-!” His argument was quickly cut short when he saw the concerned look on Gojo’s face.
”Can we just… talk for a minute? I’m seriously concerned, Suguru.” Gojo pleaded, “you look like you’ve lost weight, and you almost look as pale as I naturally am.”
”In all honesty, I’m shocked you’ve even noticed-“ Geto replied, his voice cold as he turned away.
” What? ” Gojo quickly retorted, his face changing into one of shock and offence.
”With how self-centred you’ve been for the past year or so.” Geto finished, with a fraction of all the bite and jealousy that had been building in him for the past year.
”Self-centred?!” Gojo exclaimed in a shocked tone, “what are you on about?!”
”Satoru, I know for a fact you’ve had the free time to come and talk to me when you’re not training or on a mission. Hell, you could have even texted or called me when you can’t come to me directly. Perhaps even organised a time with me to actually talk. But you’ve barely even acknowledged my existence outside of class, nevermind communicate with me.” Geto couldn’t help the fact that his eyes glared cold daggers into the boy opposite him.
”Suguru, I haven’t- I’m not… me?! Self-centred?” Gojo laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of the statement, but it was forced.
” Yes. ” Geto replied, his eyes narrowing. “You always have been, it just seems to have gotten worse since you gained that god complex of yours.”
Gojo didn’t know how to respond. His best friend, his partner, his boyfriend had outright stated he was being self-centred and having a god complex. It’s not like he could even deny it, he knew that much.
Geto let out a sigh and rubbed his eyes, before starting to walk away when he sensed that Gojo had nothing else to say.
”If that’s all, then I’m leaving. This ‘conversation’ was useless.” Gojo’s internal panic alarms started to blare.
”Wait, Suguru.” He said quickly and took a step forward towards the man, causing the black-haired man to stop dead in his tracks in annoyance. “Just… will you talk to me after the mission? Please…?” Geto took a few moments to respond.
”Yeah… sure.” Gojo could hear the dismissal in his tone.
”Turn around and… and promise me… promise me that you will actually talk to me about what’s wrong when you’re back- and you better come back!”
Geto listened, his brows furrowing. He didn’t respond immediately, more taking the time to process Gojo’s desperate tone and plea.
“Suguru!” Gojo pleaded, having a really bad feeling. Geto finally turned around and gave Gojo a facsimile of the smile he used to give the boy.
”I promise.”
And with that, Geto left. Gojo watched him walk away, feeling almost helpless to do anything despite the fact he could do everything to prevent something bad from happening.
”What’s this?” Geto asked, staring at the two small girls trapped in what almost looked like a jail cell.
”What does it look like?! They’re the cause of everything that’s been happening here!” The old man exclaimed.
”No, they’re not.” Geto stated coldly and simply. “I already dealt with the cause.” He dismissed the accusation outright.
The following words that came out of the man and womans’ mouths almost blurred in his head as he stared at the young girls, raking over how to deal with the situation in his head. He shut his eyes tightly as he tried to focus his thoughts, but they only seemed to become more disorganised as multiple things flashed through his mind; the clapping of those damned monkeys, his conversation with Yuki, the taste of cursed spirits, and Gojo… Gojo… Gojo Satoru. The boy who had surpassed Geto in so many ways that they weren’t on equal playing fields anymore. The boy who had widened and kept on widening the ever-growing distance between them. Gojo Satoru, Gojo Satoru, Satoru, Satoru! Gojo Satoru!
”Promise me… promise me that you will actually talk to me about what’s wrong when you’re back- and you better come back!”
Geto’s eyes almost snapped open as Gojo’s desperate words rang through his head.
After a moment of contemplation, Geto turned around and smiled at the adults.
”How about we take this outside?”
”HUH?!” Gojo exclaimed.
”How do I put this…” Geto said with a nervous smile, avoiding Gojo’s confused gaze as he reached up to rub his neck.
”You were supposed to exorcise the curse! Not bring back two kids with you!” Gojo almost yelled, but noticed the two girls hide behind Geto.
”I didn’t exactly have a choice, Satoru.” Geto looked at Gojo as he firmly stood his ground to defend his decision. “They would have been killed, or worse, if I hadn’t taken them with me. They didn’t have any parents or family that cared for them, and they’re twins.”
”Wait until Yaga finds out about this, then you’ll be in serious trouble.”
”Wait until I find out about what?” Yaga said simply as he came into the room.
”Yaga!” Gojo exclaimed and practically spun around, quickly using his infinity to push the girls back and close the door behind Geto. The two girls let out a small yelp, immediately revealing themselves (as if the door slamming shut quickly wasn’t suspicious enough). Geto looked at Gojo then behind himself, confused.
”Welcome back, Geto. I trust you dealt with the problem swiftly.” Yaga said as he walked over to them.
”Yes, I did. However, there’s one other issue. There were two young girls, twins in fact, who had promise as future Jujutsu Sorcerers. However, they were unfortunately being blamed and ridiculed for the disasters. I talked with the villagers and promised to take the girls off their hands and deal with them… so I brought the girls here, to Jujutsu High.” Geto opened the door and revealed the two young girls. “They’re called Nanako and Mimiko; twin girls.”
Gojo just hid his face in second-hand embarrassment, meanwhile Yaga looked down at the girls with a stern look on his face.
”I can take care of them.” Geto told Yaga, “I’m sure my parents would be willing to help out if I explain the situation to them.”
”You’re saying you’re willing to adopt these girls?” Yaga asked and turned to Geto.
”That is what I’m suggesting, yes. But only when I am able to.” Geto said with a smile, but noticed the way Gojo looked at Geto with almost panic before shaking his head and raising his hands.
”Nope, I’m out of here. You guys can talk about that between yourselves. I’m going to my room.”
”I’ll see you soon then, Satoru.” Geto called after him, almost as if he was indirectly fulfilling his end of the deal they made.
”Bye.” Gojo simply replied with a simple wave of his hand.
“I cannot believe you brought back two young girls and said you were going to adopt them.” Gojo almost whined when Geto entered his own room; Gojo sitting on his bed.
”I wasn’t expecting you to take on any responsibility in helping me raise them, Satoru. Besides, I said that I would adopt them.” Geto explained as he started to get changed into PJs.
”Yeah, but I’m your boyfriend so it sorta makes me feel like I’m immediately getting responsibility forced onto me when I didn’t even want to be involved in the lives of some kids I’ve never even met.” Gojo explained, but Geto only gave him a strange look.
”You’re the only one putting that responsibility onto yourself.” Gojo rolled his eyes and laid back, a small thud coming from where his back hit the bed. “Besides, it's not like Yaga even knows about our relationship… speaking of which.” Geto crossed his arms and faced his bed to look Gojo directly in the eyes.
”Hm?” Gojo looked at him, lifting his hand to take off his glasses.
”It doesn’t exactly feel like we have been a couple this past year, considering everything that’s happened…” Gojo sighed and sat back up, putting his glasses back on.
”Put a shirt on before you start lecturing me.” Gojo grumbled and sneered a little, “or don’t. I don’t mind either way.” Gojo quickly added, raising his hands in a mocking surrender. Geto only rolled his eyes as Gojo chuckled at his own comment, putting on his shirt as he walked over, before sitting down on the bed.
The room fell awfully silent. Gojo didn’t know where to start, and Geto didn’t know where to continue from where he left off.
”Ever since that day…” Geto started, hunched over and not even looking at Gojo as he held himself up with his arms on his legs, “it only feels like we’ve been drifting apart. You have continued to get stronger and stronger, meanwhile I’ve only remained stagnant. Exorcise, absorb, exorcise, absorb, exorcise, absorb. Over and over and over again.” Geto clenched his fists, and Gojo could easily see how bitter that made him just from the way Geto’s shoulders tensed up. “The same every mission, the same every time, and with no way of improving myself. But you… you ascended, and you’ve only continued to get stronger, and stronger, and stronger. The distance between us keeps on getting larger and larger, and I have no idea how to close that gap. And with no one there… being left to my own devices, being left without a voice to fill the void but my own internal monologue…? It had almost driven me to insanity.”
”Had…?” Gojo questioned, his voice quiet, almost timid. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
”I had a conversation with Tsukumo Yuki,” Geto started as he looked up and towards the door, “the special grade sorcerer. She told me she wanted to create a world where cursed spirits no longer exist, and she brought up two different ways of doing so. Either by removing everyone’s cursed energy, like with what happened with Fushiguro.” Geto could almost feel the tension rising in the room without even looking at Gojo by just mentioning that name. “Or turning everyone into sorcerers… But neither of those were really realistic paths. And then I thought of an alternative path… by killing every non-sorcerer, and forcing them to either become sorcerers for their own protection, or die scared. At the time, I didn’t know whether that was truly the path I wanted to go down, or to listen to the part of me that rejected the idea as a whole. The idea sounded plausible to me, although immoral…”
”And that path sounded realistic to you?” Gojo remarked snarky, but Geto only ignored him and sat up to straighten his back as he looked up towards the ceiling
”And then in the village… with the twins… a man and a woman were telling me that they were the cause, that they should just be killed… and that was almost the point where I snapped…” Geto paused for a moment and looked back down, rubbing his face, “but then your words came back to me… a promise- or rather, you making me promise to talk to you once I came back. A promise to you that I would come back. So many things ran through my head in that singular moment; my grief over Riko, the…” Geto paused as he considered his words, his eyebrows only furrowing and his eyes only narrowing for just a moment, “the non-sorcerers celebrating our failure, how far the distance between us had grown and how much you had gotten stronger.” Geto took a moment to collect his thoughts and rubbed his face.
“But that one promise two days ago… it broke through the chaos, and helped me at least realign my thoughts. I cleared my head, and decided that taking the young girls away from the village, bringing them back to Jujutsu High, would be the best course of action.”
”If I never spoke to you that day, then you would’ve…” Gojo said in disbelief, almost barely above a whisper.
”Yeah… I would have killed that whole village.” Geto admitted, and Gojo grit his teeth.
”Bullshit! You can’t seriously sit there and tell me that that’s what you would have done! What you have become!” Gojo exclaimed, shaking so violently and his body so filled with anxiety from Geto’s words that he felt nauseous. He wanted to refuse that reality; refuse that it could have become reality. He wanted to refuse that this person, this man , that he loved had changed so drastically as to seriously consider mass murder.
”Satoru, it is the truth!” Gojo’s eyes widened then softened, hearing the clear pain in that first sentence. “The past year has been eating away at me. It has been eating at every fibre of my being; every fibre of my psyche. It has changed me, and not in a way I’m entirely proud of.” Gojo almost couldn’t figure out what Geto’s tone was meant to be. He sounded mournful, regretful, but he also sounded almost apathetic; like he didn’t care that that was the truth. A great contrast to the first sentence of what Geto told him at that moment.
Silence fell once again upon the two boys, neither one of them knowing what to say or how to continue. On top of that, Gojo was trying his best to process that the past year, maybe even his own actions, had caused the very person he cared the most about to drift away and become someone entirely different. Someone he didn’t even recognise outside of the voice, face, and name. Was this truly Geto Suguru? Was this truly the boy he had known since April 2005? The boy he had become so close to that they would start a relationship only Shoko knew about? Was this really the same person he had grown to care about? Love, even?
Geto once again broke through the silence, but Gojo was only half listening.
”Ever since that day…” Geto started, but paused and then started again, “I have been thinking about that scene… almost every day for the past year. I had asked Riko if she wanted to… to stay… and she said she wanted to, but then she…” Geto practically choked out the words, “she was dead before I could even process what had happened…” Geto furrowed his eyebrows and rubbed his eyes, “maybe if we hadn’t… maybe if we just did things differently… she would still be here… maybe if-“
”Maybe if I hadn’t failed.” Gojo practically whispered, and Geto finally turned around with wide eyes and saw Gojo had his head on his arm, which was being propped up by his knees.
“Satoru-“
”Maybe if I just… maybe if I had just left Limitless on for a little bit longer. Maybe if I had stayed more cautious. Maybe if I had tried harder. Maybe if I had been stronger!” Gojo’s volume rose as he continued to speak, but his body became tense as he gripped onto his sleeves desperately, “maybe Riko wouldn’t have died! Maybe she would have been absorbed into Tengen! Maybe she would still be here, with us, to smile and laugh! But I failed, Suguru! I nearly died! You nearly died! And Riko was killed! I can never let a failure like that happen ever again! It’s why I have to keep training, it’s why I can’t take a break!” Gojo looked up at Geto with a pleading look on his face as he took off his glasses, “I can’t let another person die ever again because of my failure! I will keep training and training, forcing my body to its limits, until no one can even touch me- until no one can die unless I say they can die!”
Geto watched the tears fall from Gojo’s eyes, perplexed. It was such raw emotion that he didn’t even remember the last time he had seen Gojo this emotionally vulnerable.
The next sentence that came out of Gojo’s mouth almost broke Geto, and forced him to reevaluate what he had been thinking the entire last year.
”You’re the only person who could ever understand that, Suguru… You’re the only person who could ever understand how that feels…” Gojo’s head fell back onto his arm as he almost curled in on himself, letting his sunglasses go and fall between his legs.
Geto stared at Gojo, feeling… conflicted. On one hand, Geto felt almost guilty for assuming Gojo had been so self-centred. He had neglected to even consider how lonely Gojo might have been feeling; that that day had been the entire cause as to why Gojo had been so isolated and focused on his training. On the other hand, however, Geto almost felt no sympathy. Gojo had power, Gojo had strength, Gojo had the ability to do whatever he wanted just with a single hand wave, and Gojo could never understand how Geto had been affected. But maybe their own overwhelming, consuming guilt about Riko’s death had caused them both to go down a path of isolation and maybe even self-centredness. Had Geto been just as self-centred as Gojo? Was he too consumed in his own thoughts to even consider Gojo’s own feelings? To even consider that Gojo was just as traumatised as him from that experience they alone shared together?
Geto tried to reach out towards Gojo, but found his hand was stopped by Gojo’s Limitless. His eyebrows furrowed and he looked up at Gojo. Thinking back, Geto had noticed Gojo had stepped forward towards Geto. Perhaps he had gone to grab Geto when he was trying to speak to him, but seemed almost hesitant. But he knew that couldn’t really be anything to do with Limitless… right? Gojo could touch whatever he wanted, it was just that other things or people couldn’t touch him.
”You’re right, though…” Gojo wiped away his tears and spoke after another few moments of silence, his head hung low, “I was wrong for pushing you away, I could have talked to you. I was just scared of allowing myself to be vulnerable, to put my guard down for even just a moment… it’s stupid, and it doesn’t make how I’ve acted okay. And yeah, I keep making everything about myself. And yeah, I do have a god complex, and yes, I am self-centred… but I do truly care about you, Suguru. I wouldn’t be who I am today without you. Even if our power levels have distanced us greatly, I still consider you my equal…” Gojo slowly reached forward and placed his fist gently against Geto’s shoulder as his head continued to hang low, “even if you don’t; even if we’ve grown too far apart for you to even consider the possibility of us being equal in power. I just… being the strongest is lonely…”
”Satoru…” Geto mumbled slowly.
”I know… I know I am the strongest…” Gojo removed his hand from Geto and crossed his arms along his knees and rested his chin on his arms, “is it because I’m Gojo Satoru? Or am I Gojo Satoru because I’m the strongest? I don’t know, and I never will. But if I didn’t exist? Then you would be the strongest, Suguru, and I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. Curse manipulation is a broken technique, especially if you get a hold on a special grade curse. Or who knows? Multiple special grades. You shouldn’t compare yourself to me, Suguru. I would say it will only drive you to madness, but you’re only two steps away from that point.” Gojo let out a small huff of saddened amusement at his own comment, but Geto only continued to stare sadly. “Comparing yourself to me is paramount to comparing yourself to a god.”
”What…?” Geto muttered as his face immediately changed to a grossed out one, but Gojo only continued as if Geto hadn’t interrupted him.
”It’s futile, in the end, and it has only stagnated you. Instead of trying to get stronger in your own right, you set me as this unachievable goal that you could never hope to gain the heights of.”
”Hearing you call yourself a god is enough to make me want to punch you.” Geto grumbled and rubbed his eyes to the bridge of his nose, before brushing his hand over his hair.
”Shut up,” Gojo chuckled and rubbed his eyes again. He reached down between his legs and picked up his sunglasses, putting them back on and looking back up at Geto. “I make a good point, don’t I? You won’t ever be able to surpass me in raw power, no one could. But I know you can get stronger if you set yourself on the right path.” Gojo smiled at him, but Geto didn’t know whether to feel insulted or thankful. Maybe a mix of both?
”How do you always have a way of making something sound both extremely sincere and insincere?”
”Huh?” Gojo quickly sat up, and gave him a confused and offended look.
”Nothing.” Geto waved his hand and looked away. “I’m glad we were able to have this talk. It really helped put things into perspective.” Gojo stared quietly at him, not responding, but Geto only smiled at him. “However, I think we should put some ground rules into place.”
”Alright?” Gojo grabbed Geto’s pillow and hugged it lengthwise-up, placing his chin on the top of the pillow.
”I think, to prevent any further misunderstandings like this that could lead to me nearly going insane or you feeling you’re burdening everything on your shoulders, we should talk to each other when stuff comes up. And if we can’t do it at the relevant time, we set aside a time to talk properly.”
”And it doesn’t have to exactly be about stuff in relation to the other, more just what’s on our mind or bothering us?”
”Yes, exactly.” Geto finished, and Gojo smiled.
”I’m okay with that. I think it would help.” Gojo reassured Geto, “especially if “a talk” was all that it took to make sure you didn’t kill a whole village!” Gojo smiled and laughed softly, and Geto smiled back softly.
”Good… now get back to your own room, I would like to sleep.” Geto stood up and stretched. Gojo placed the pillow back and stood up.
”Yeah, yeah. You need it too.” Gojo teased and Geto looked at him, confused.
”Excuse me…?”
”I know for a fact you’ve been losing sleep on top of losing weight, I could tell just by looking at your face, nevermind how thin you’ve visibly gotten. You know I’ve got good eyes,” Gojo explained and pulled down his glasses slightly with a smirk, I could tell just by looking at ya, I didn’t need to see you undress to tell from that.” Gojo pointed at Geto as he moved his” finger up and down. Geto gave him an unimpressed look. “Hey! Don’t look at me like that! Oh yeah, I forgot to ask.” Gojo pushed back up his glasses. “What are you going to do with the twins?”
”My parents agreed to take them.” Geto started as he fixed his bed up. “I will adopt them, which I am perfectly happy to do, but I can’t be taking care of them all the time. They also can’t be here at the school either.”
”You’re also 17, meaning you can’t do shit until quite literally next year, since your birthday’s in February.” Gojo said bluntly, placing a hand on his hip.
”Exactly. So they will be in my parents’ custody until I can take them myself.” Geto looked at Gojo, who now looked deep in thought with a hand on his chin. “What is it now?”
”I was just wondering… How exactly am I going to fit into all this?”
”Only time will tell. Besides, putting the point back onto you, you are only 17 so I’m not about to expect you to make a decision like that when you don’t even have the responsibility to take care of them.”
”Technically, neither do you.” Gojo quickly retorted and pointed at Geto.
”Yes, but I have made my decision already. Village or no village, I would have taken those girls in as my own.” Geto explained simply, crossing his arms.
”I really don’t like the implication of “or no village”.” Gojo muttered, but Geto only laughed. “You, my good fellow, need therapy. Quickly and desperately.”
”If I am getting therapy, you are as well.” Geto smirked.
”In my defence, I didn’t nearly wipe out an entire village!” Gojo exclaimed with a smirk as he backed away towards the door.
”Go to bed, Satoru.” Geto said dismissively with a gentle smile.
“Goodnight, Suguru.” Gojo replied before quickly leaving.
Geto sighed heavily, laying back on his bed. The night’s events replayed in his head. Geto’s admission of nearly going insane, Gojo calling himself a god and admitting his self-centredness, Gojo’s tears.
Gojo’s tears.
When was the last time Geto had seen Gojo cry? Has he ever seen Gojo cry? Has he ever seen Gojo that vulnerable before? The white-haired man was always dismissing any concerns, he had always been playful or sarcastic and never took anything too seriously. But tonight, he saw Gojo finally… finally cry. He finally got to see how much Riko’s death had affected Gojo. Geto knew he should have seen this coming, but perhaps he was too wrapped up in his own guilt and trauma to even recognise that Gojo’s training and isolation from others was a trauma response, and not simply a result of ascending.
Of course it was a trauma response. They were 16.
They were 16 and let the most important child die.
They were 16 and failed to keep the most important child alive.
They were 16 and were expected to be the strongest.
They were 16.
They were only 16.
They were only 16 and had the weight of the world on their shoulders.
They were only 16.
Gojo was only 16 and was expected to be the strongest.
Gojo was only 16 and was expected to do the impossible.
Gojo was only 16 and almost died.
Gojo was only 16.
Of course it was a trauma response.
How could he have been so stupid?