Archive of Our Own

You’d been thinking about your coworker a little too much as of recently than you would have liked.

It was just a curiosity thing, not a genuine interest. He presented himself in such a nonchalant manner, and judging from that, and his overall presence, you wondered how he would be as a boyfriend, or friend in general. Not to you, of course– It was just so foreign to think of him having any genuine connection to someone, harsh as it sounded.

You would never really know unless you were to ask, but like hell you were going to do that. You didn’t plan on getting close to someone like him.

At the moment, your employers decided to throw a holiday celebration party. Something about the company’s ten year anniversary, you didn’t know, nor did you care. In fact, you wouldn’t have even attended the event if it weren’t for your coworker teasing you about not going outside. You went out plenty! What did he know?

… You were thinking about him again.

You sat alone on a barstool, wishing that you never worked at this job, or better yet, never lived at all. Nothing was more lonely to you than drinking by yourself in a room full of people. They were all right there, you could easily walk up to them, but… For some reason, you couldn’t. They were all so alien. They were having fun without you, and they probably wouldn’t want you to disturb them anyways. You were better off just using up the provided alcohol to feel at least a semblance of relaxation until you were too tired to endure the noise anymore and got ready to go home. Home to your small, dingy apartment… You really couldn’t win, could you?

Across the colorfully lit room, you could see your coworker. He was chatting idly with another guy that you didn’t know the name of, whilst occasionally barking out laughter at something he or someone else said.
You found yourself staring at him, trying to figure out how someone like him could be so well liked. What was there to like about him? Sure, he had good looks. Sure, he had money. Neither of those were real, though. The way he talked wasn’t real. He was fake, just like everyone else in that forsaken office.

Well, there was your answer, you guessed. Still, to what extent could someone tolerate that guy’s abhorrent personality just for a chance at some financial gain? You certainly wouldn’t last a minute, not with him. You could barely stand his presence in a life or death (technically both) situation. How could you stand to be near him, this man who could watch you make countless mistakes that he knew would kill you, and say nothing? He said nothing, and he pretended not to remember. Just like he pretended not to remember the way you stabbed that pair of scissors into his chest, or how he didn’t fight back. Maybe one day you’d make him remember. It was only fair, given the fact that he could have prevented every one of your own previous deaths.

You actually wondered if you hated your coworker. You’ve never had someone push you so far in such an apathetic way, and you never had been forced to face that same person on the daily. The situation with him was so unique, you had nothing to compare it to. No way to comprehend it. He took over your mind that day, and shredded every bit of sanity that you thought you had. Yet, you didn’t know if you hated him. You really didn’t know.

To your theoretical understanding, this coworker of yours was nothing more than a corporate puppet. He was likely assigned to do what he did, by some higher up. Probably at some high stakes, as well. If such a scenario were correct, then he would have had to choose between his own life, and the life of some stranger, who just so happened to be you.
The thing was, even then, he seemed to cheat. Just a little bit. He cheated by never directly killing you, and even giving you vague hints as to what you were supposed to do to survive. You had no idea if that was even allowed in whatever scheme he was put up to do. It probably was, but it was nice to believe that it wasn’t.

In that best possible case, you don’t think you would fully hate him. You did kill him, after all. He remembered that too, he had to, and he still stared at you with that same fake smile.

… How did he see you, then?

Ugh. You sighed at the thought, your drink getting low. The sounds of the party were meshing together into a distant haze, though you weren’t sure if it was because you were drunk or just dissociated. Probably both. Your head rested itself on the cold marble counter, and you closed your eyes to try and calm down. The least you could do at this party was try and enjoy it, but there you were, thinking about your goddamned coworker. Again. You hoped that he made himself comfortable in your mind, because it didn’t seem that he would be leaving any time soon.

The counter felt nice. It quelled your distant headache and grounded you a bit. You were here, you were alive, and you weren’t stuck in a deadly time loop elevator. You were going to be okay.

You startled upon the sound of something thumping next to your head, which you picked up in response. The sound was accompanied by that of shoes squeaking, and then finally the sight of the very man who had been causing you hell for the past however many months you’d been working there.

Your coworker smirked at you, draping himself over the nearby barstool as if he owned it. “Heya, newbie! Party hard, amirite?”

Your face expressed only half of the extent of which you would rather not talk to him at the moment, but he likely didn’t notice or care enough to acknowledge it. Your brows furrowed, as you turned to look into the mouth of your empty glass. “Yeah, sure.” You scoffed.

You couldn’t see the expression that was paired with his pause, nor did you see it when he leaned back to stretch. “Yeesh, you could at least pretend to enjoy it.” He remarked.

“What, like what you’re doing? I’ll pass.” You retorted, shooting a glare at his stupid face. Maybe you were being more rude than usual, but you were also drunk and frankly did not have the patience to deal with people right now, especially not him.

To your surprise, a chuckle came from the guy. “Man, that’s bold. Say,” He placed his hand on the counter near you, coaxing your attention as if you were a frightened little animal. “I’ve been bored out of my mind for like, the past hour. How about we have a challenge to spice things up? Whoever can chug the most of the hardest drink here can make the other do whatever they want. Total blank check, no boundaries.”

You perked up, finally looking at his face curiously. He had that same unreadable smile again. It gave you a pause. You had no idea what he was getting at, or what his goals were. The two of you may have shared a few drinks in the past, but you wouldn’t consider him a friend, far from it. Therefore, he couldn’t just be after an amicable game. No, he had some kind of ulterior motive.

You intended to find out what it was.

Of course this was some kind of trap, you knew that, but it was still a better chance at finding out his deal than you’d have otherwise. Pushing your glass aside, you stood up from your seat, extending a hand over to your coworker. “You’re on.”

His grin seemed to widen ever so slightly as he shook it.

You both went behind the counter in search of whatever liquor would have the highest alcohol content. The vodka seemed like your best bet without drinking literal hand sanitizer, so you grabbed a cherry-flavored bottle while the man next to you took its blue raspberry counterpart. They were the same brand, so, after confirming that they were at the same strength, you got clean glasses and poured as much as you could fit into them. While you were always up for a challenge, drinking the entire bottle would likely result in death, so that was off the table.

Settling back into your chairs, you made sure that the amount of drink in each glass was the same, before staring off.

Your coworker started the countdown.

“Three…”

You joined.

“Two…”

The adrenaline felt like it was pulsing from your veins.

“One!”

The glass in your hand was whipped up to your mouth, and you threw your head back to down the drink. The cherry vodka burned your throat and tongue, and it tasted like a horrible cough medicine. Your body ached to reject it, you could feel the muscles in your throat constrict, but you didn’t back down. You continued the agonizing process until you heard a drink slam down beside you, and your heart dropped.

Either your opponent tapped out, or he finished his glass.

The best way to go, you thought, was to continue. Even if he was already finished, you may as well get on his level. You could feel your stomach seize as you took your last few gulps, and when the final sip was gone you slammed down your cup as well.

Bracing yourself, you looked over. The sight that befell you would have likely made you laugh, had it not been for the amount of alcohol you had just consumed burning your body from the inside.

There your coworker was, staring at you aghast with his glass half full. His eyes were wide, and he was actually silent for once.

Your lips shakily quirked up into a smile. You took in a breath, and…

You booked it to the restroom.

It seemed that the drink was even worse coming back up than it was going down, you realized, as you hacked up your guts in the employees only toilet. How unfortunate.

“Well, I guess I technically won then, huh?” Came the voice of your coworker in the doorway. When you successfully emptied your stomach, you wiped your face with toilet paper and stumbled to the sink.

You paid the man behind you no mind as you aggressively rinsed out your mouth, contemplating if it was worth it to use soap to do so. It wasn’t like most people carried around mouthwash wherever they went, so what else were you to use? Washing your hands, you decided against it for the risk of throwing up again.

When you finally finished, you looked over to see your coworker still standing there, with a cup of water, a stick of gum, and a mildly disgusted look on his face.

You took the items wordlessly, only nodding your head as a form of thanks. Drinking the water slowly, you took a deep breath and accepted your defeat. “Yeah, sure. Whatever. What do you want me to do?”
You should have known it would end up like this. He probably stopped drinking his cup early just so he wouldn’t vomit, and knew exactly what would happen to you. He had this whole thing planned out, didn’t he? Just to humiliate you?

“Hmm…” He pondered for a moment. If it was real or not, you didn’t know. Then, he lit up. “Ah, I got it! You,” He pointed at you dramatically, “Need to answer every one of my questions honestly, until work starts back up on Monday!”

… Really?

“That’s it? Sounds pretty lame…” You raised your eyebrow incredulously. Well, it was better than forcing you to do something embarrassing in public. You assumed that he was going to say something like that, rather than some tactic that high school girls use to get their crushes to confess to them.

Your coworker actually looked offended at that though, and you imagined he’d be clutching his pearls if he had any. “Wh– Do you want me to find something worse?! Honesty is a serious weakness in the business field!”

You crossed your arms, chewing your gum. “Yeah? And do you plan on striking up a deal with me over the weekend?” You sassed, before complying, “Fine, I’ll do it… What did you want to ask me so badly?”

His expression returned to its usual unbothered one, and he turned around. “C’mon, it’ll be better to ask when we’re outta here.”

Upon further thought, maybe you should have asked where the two of you were going before just blindly following the man. Like, wasn’t this how people got kidnapped? After exiting the office building entirely, you stopped. “Okay, wait. Where exactly is ‘out of here?’” You asked.

“Ah, I was waiting for that. Man, you should really be more careful, newbie. While I appreciate your high regards to me, anyone else could have been dangerous.” Said your coworker, turning only his head to look behind at you. “Nah, we’re going to my place.” He shrugged.

Wait, what? As he resumed walking, you stayed in place, tensing. “Huh, why?” For someone who claimed to be safe, he sure spoke suspiciously, you thought.

He stopped a few feet away and turned to fully face you. “Where else would you want to go? Look, it’s not anything sketchy. I’ll even show you the address! It’s this real luxurious penthouse, up in the city. It’s got these huge windows that let the sun in just right, and–”

“Okay, okay! Fine. Lead the way.” You grumbled. At least you knew what to look for.

You reached his car, which of course was a flashy red Mercedes. Hesitantly opening the door and settling in, your nose was hit with that scent of a new car, along with a tasteful leather refresher. You waited one, maybe two minutes before your coworker started rambling.

“Pretty cool, huh? Yeah, I got it about a month ago. I don’t drive it too much, I’ve got my other cars for that– But it sure does ride smoothly. You feel it, don’t you? You could fall asleep at the wheel of this baby, not that it would be a problem. See, it has these emergency systems that…” His words started to drift out of comprehension, and your head dipped to rest on the window as the ride cruised on.

You flinched awake for the second time that night at the sound of laughter next to you, and soon became aware that the car was no longer in motion.
“Ha! See? I told you it’s comfortable. Come on, you better not have drooled on the door or I’m making you pay for it to be replaced.” A nudge on your shoulder prompted you to get up. You looked around, disoriented at the view of a large parking lot in what looked to be the outskirts of the nearby city. Just as your coworker had said. Groaning, you nodded and willed your tired muscles to help you out of the car.

Your coworker was waiting by the entrance of a modern-looking building, hands in his pockets.

It was so strange, looking at him at that moment. You’d only seen him under the old, yellowed office lights at work, sometimes in front of a window before. With how he was now, surrounded by shadows only broken by cold white beams of light coming through the glass doors behind him, he looked different. No, different wasn’t the word. That wouldn’t explain it properly– The way you never considered that he could exist in places other than that damned office, or even worse, the elevator– You were surprised.

You were surprised because for the first time since meeting him, he actually seemed alive to you.

Crossing the distance between the two of you with hesitant steps, you watched as he punched in the keycode to the door with barely a glance.

You refused to take the elevator. Instead, your coworker was forced to wait for you while you scaled seven flights of stairs up to his floor. He seemed to be in one piece when you finally arrived, so chances were that it was either entirely normal, or one that he also happened to know every trick to escape from.
“Is that what you do every day now? Talk about dedication…” He smirked, amused.

With a shrug, you responded after catching your breath. “More like PTSD, but I guess that works.”

Something about his chuckle at your stale joke seemed to dampen your frustration toward him, just momentarily. For what reason, you weren’t sure. You didn’t dwell on it, for your mind stuttered to a halt upon seeing your coworker’s home.

In reality, perhaps you shouldn’t have been so surprised. You knew that he was well off; That he was related to the CEO of your job’s company and basically had everything handed to him on a silver platter. Still though, the recurring notion that your coworker had a life outside of work continued to appall you.
“Pretty cool, huh? I know,” The low voice of him behind your shoulder brought you back a little, though you only nodded vacantly as he started to go over the details of his not-so humble abode.

Without regard for whatever he was saying, you stepped forward and turned to face him. “So, we’re here. In private… Now, what is it?” You asked, wringing your hands between themselves as an anxious habit.

He had the nerve to look confused, lightly pursing his lips and raising his brow at you “Hm? What is what?”

You sighed, “The questions..? That’s what you took me here for, right?”

“Ohh! Yeah, I got it! Come and sit down– Oh, but take your shoes off first. The floors don’t clean themselves, y’know?”

Weird. You shrugged, doing as you were told, before following your coworker to his obnoxiously luxurious couch. He probably hired someone to design the place too, you mentally scoffed. Once you settled yourself on the couch, you looked expectantly at the man in the recliner chair across from you.

“So,” He started. His expression was in that masked chill form again, what emotion he was masking, you didn’t think you’d ever know. Clearly not a good sign. “Now that we’re not being explicitly watched, I’ve gotta ask…”

God damn he was dragging this out, the asshole. What was with that word choice? ‘Explicitly’ gave the impression that you were still being watched, just either not as much or not as obviously. Your mind ran quickly through any possible scenario for the future, now sharpened by time away from any alcohol. Clearly this was a big deal, but how so?

He leaned forward, “Are you single?”

What? “Wh– What?”

An amused smile spread on his lips. “C’mon, you gotta answer honestly!”

You almost turned your nose up. You could also refuse to answer, right? Slightly (heavily) affronted, you grated out your answer, “Yes..? I am? Listen, is this really–”

Maybe you should have expected to be cut off at that point. “Yeah, I thought so!” He laughed. Ouch.
“But anyway, back to business. You remember the whole elevator fiasco, right?” He doesn’t wait for you to nod. “I know you do. Now, tell me: What exactly do you think happened that day?”

Your eyes widen upon the mention. You’d been working full time at your job for months– This was the first time he had brought it up since it happened, you almost thought it was just some kind of hallucination.
You were filled with a form of anticipatory relief. Maybe you weren’t crazy. “I… Okay,” You started.

“I came to our work for my first day… And after you joined me on the elevator, the lights flickered and we got stuck. A–A lot of things happened. Depending on what we– I did, we’d either die, or… Escape, after a successful interview. You just left for a meeting on the ninth floor after that, disappeared into thin air. But the other times, when we died, we– Time was looped back. You’d say word for word, ‘you think I know every office related problem?’ and I’d try to convince you of what just happened. You didn’t remember– You pretended you didn’t remember, I know it. I know you remember because whenever I’d look for certain hints, you’d be ready to spout some vaguely helpful advice that just so happened to apply to the situation. You… Why? Why did you do that? Who put you up to it? What are–”

Your coworker flapped his hand, “Hey, I’m the one asking questions here!” He then pinched his nose.
“Alright, thanks. So you remember everything, yeah?” A hesitant nod. “Good. Now, to be honest, I’ve been working there forever, but even I don’t know what the hell that thing is. It’s like… It feeds itself. Feeds off of people. It can survive indefinitely by the weird time loop stuff.” He smiled uneasily, as if that would soften the blow.

“Then… The dopplegängers–” You started.

“Yeah, that would have been us. The thing is, we got out of it somehow.” He went quiet for a moment, his gaze flicking between you and the floor by your feet.

You… Got out of it? You guessed that would be the only answer, vague as it was. To your knowledge, the way you managed to get past floor 8 was only possible after you were tricked by them the first time. What happened to you then? When were you brought back? Why didn’t you remember spending any time there?

Your mind stuttered at the realization that your coworker had likely been thinking that exact thing when it happened. He probably thought that the two of you were going to be fed into the loop, you thought, but was shocked to see you both back in the elevator in one piece. That all went through his mind, and you had no idea.

You also had no idea what he was thinking, when he congratulated you on tricking them. When your stress finally spiked, and the spikes of your scissors became impaled into his chest. He did nothing. Nothing, and when you were transported back to the past, he didn’t do anything either. Just how good was he at acting? Then, with that in mind, how were you to know if he was acting or not now?

“Okay, you’ve had enough time to process, I think.” Your attention was directed back up at your coworker.

He was a little hunched now, elbows resting on his knees and fingers laced together below his chin. You were taken off guard by his presence, yet again. The way his appearance was the same as ever, but also different; Weighted. He dragged his eyes to meet yours, lips pursed contemplatively. “I have another question for you.”

Your voice grated up your throat, “Go ahead.”

“And you have to be honest.” You nodded.

He kept you locked to his eyes, a barely noticeable intake of breath before he uttered, “Do you trust me?”

Your body stiffened, urging you to drop your gaze. You maintained eye contact, however, even as you thought.
Did you trust him? How were you supposed to? Everything he was saying could be a lie, another layer of deceit to bury you under. You didn’t want to rely on your emotions for this. They ached for him, his comfort and his camaraderie. He was the only person who knew exactly what you went through, and he never hurt you himself. Still, he was a part of this. He was a higher up in a company that fed its employees to some lovecraftian creature for whatever reason, and he was complicit in the scheme. It didn’t matter how much he really wanted to leave, because he didn’t, and until he does, he would still be a danger to you.

Your brows furrowed as you spoke, “Well, it’s complicated. You don’t seem like you have anything against me, but you’re still dangerous by proxy to that… Thing. I guess I trust you the most out of everyone else… And in general, but that doesn’t say much.” You finished.

He didn’t seem quite dissatisfied with your answer, so you took it as a win. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, probably the longest he’d ever been quiet around you. It made you squirm in your seat.

Finally, he hummed, “...I think I like you.” He said casually, his cheeks squished from resting in his now opened hands.

Talk about whiplash. “Huh…?” You cringed.

“You heard me! This is a pretty big honor for you, too. See, I’m quite likable, but I don’t like a lot of people myself. I’m impressed that you caught my eye.” He chuckled, straightening his back. What the hell?

“By ‘like’, do you mean–”

He loved to cut you off, though, didn’t he? “So you should take advantage of it! I mean, anyone would love to have someone like me, y’know? I’m actually–”

You cut him off this time, standing up from your seat and yelling at his face, “What the hell are you talking about?! You think you can just ask if I trust you, only to start saying– Whatever it is you’re saying? Is this some kind of joke? This is low, even for you. You have no idea how– How much I’ve suffered all this time, and half of it has been because of you! This isn’t funny, you can’t just do this. I’m not a fucking business deal, you can’t just play with my life like this. Not like you do with everyone else. If you just want someone to stroke your ego, you’re not finding that in me. I’m done. I’m just– I’m done...”

Your breath was heavy. Your hands trembled at your sides. Your eyes were rimmed with tears.

There, you did it.

You finally let out all of that frustration, all of it right at the source.

Now, where did that get you?

The floor, you found, as your legs lost the strength that came with the adrenaline running through them. You had collapsed on the floor in front of the man you just screamed at, and you couldn’t even look at him– It was a surprise that he hadn’t yelled back or shoved you out yet. You didn’t have the energy to leave yourself, just staring in front of your knees with blank eyes.

Your coworker said nothing, did nothing. He remained seated in front of you, his socks in your peripheral vision.

“You can laugh now, you know.” You croaked, eventually.

A shift. “Hm?”

With a scowl, you elaborated. “You can laugh. I know you want to. Just do it.”

The sound of a heavy exhale reached your ears, and then you felt a finger gently lift your chin. You didn’t fight it, you were too tired. Your entire face, devoid of hope, or care, was entirely revealed to the man in front of you.

His hand didn’t leave when you followed his gesture, instead adjusting itself to simply hold you. That detail was only half registered, as you were confronted with a more urgent matter.

Your coworker’s face seemed to mirror yours, you realized. He looked tired, worn. You could see little sun spots and bits of stubble around his jaw, among other flaws that you hadn’t noticed before. The higher proximity awakened a new sense to him, the texture of his fingertips and palm. A barely-forming crease in his brow.

He was so close. He was so frustrated. Your eyes widened upon the fact that you caused this. Your own pain and anguish, your anger and suspicions were acknowledged by him. He didn’t have to say it, because you just knew.

At that moment, you finally got it.

He was real.

Your next move came as a surprise to both him and yourself. You weren’t the type to do such a thing, but when you raised your clammy hands up to hold his, it felt right. The same was true for the way you pressed your chin to gently rest on that supporting hand, so right that you allowed yourself to shut your eyes.

The sound of his breath picked up on your ears, soft and short. He swallowed thickly before speaking, “I…”

“It’s okay. I, uh. I think I understand.” You reassured, opening your eyes back up to look at him from your spot on the floor, a small smile on your face.

His mouth pressed into a thin line, and his cheeks twinged red, “You do?” He asked.

Your fingers lightly played with his sleeve, and you found yourself feeling a bit bashful all of a sudden. “Yeah…”

Your coworker shifted forward, and you scooted back to accommodate him sitting in front of you on the floor. “You know,” He rearranged himself, consequently taking his hand back, but still remaining close enough that your knees were touching, “I really wasn’t joking. About liking you, I mean.” He confessed.

Wait, was this a confession? It was quite sudden, you would admit, but… Something about it gave you a strange sense of relief.
Maybe it was just the fact that anyone could see you that way at all. Maybe it was because he was someone you knew.

Maybe it was just him.

You did find it funny, though. How earlier that night, you were debating on if you actually hated this guy or not. You would never have guessed that you’d end up at his house, sitting cross-legged on the floor across from him, and actually believing and considering a confession from him. Of course, you could just be misunderstanding–

“I could show you?” He interrupted your thoughts, and you focused back into reality.

You tilted your head in confusion, “Huh? How?”

His face was still flushed, possibly even more so than earlier. Definitely leaning on the romantic side, you noted. He hummed, narrowing his eyes a little. “Just… Close your eyes. You can stop me if you want, or something.”

You closed your eyes.

Wait, was he about to–

Yes, he was.

You flinched at a small breath of air brushing across your face, which ended up being your only warning before your coworker’s warm lips pressed against your own.

They were sweet, simple. You couldn’t note any specific texture, as it was only a quick peck. You would have likely been overwhelmed by anything more, you thought. When he pulled back, you opened your eyes to see him still close, still in front of you, and still there.

“I, um,” You started when you remembered to speak, “Yeah. I think I liked that…” A pause. “Could you… Do it again?”

Finally, after all that occurred, he broke into a genuine, wide smile. “Careful, I’ve heard that my kisses can be pretty addicting.” He joked.

You took it upon yourself to lean in, instead. “Maybe I’m okay with that.” You responded, not waiting for an answer before kissing him again.

The two of you eventually moved to his sofa, your legs getting cramped from sitting on the floor. You were side by side, simply watching whatever was playing on the television.

Your coworker turned to you, “I’ve got another question.” He stated.

“Shoot.”

The volume was turned down as he asked, “Do you like me? Remember, you have to be honest, Or else, you, uh…” He trailed off as you pushed against his arm a little bit, wrapping it with your own before you leaned up to him with a grin.

“Yeah… Yeah, I think I do.”

You sealed the deal with your lips to his, and you could feel them turning up as they touched.

You still didn’t know the truth behind the elevator. You didn’t know if you’d ever know what was going on behind the scenes. What you did know, however, was that you weren’t alone. There was always going to be someone to bear that burden with.

Maybe it wouldn’t work out. Something could always go wrong, be it with you and your coworker’s shared anomaly, or even just everyday life.

You would never really know unless you tried, though, so that’s exactly what you were going to do.