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Lucifer hadn’t ever thought he’d find love again after Lilith decided to leave him. Not that he was in love right now or anything like that, no, no, he just wanted to mention it. Nobody in the hotel made him blush or took up his thoughts late at night.
Nope! Not at all!
The king left his new-found room in the Hazbin Hotel, walking down the hallway with class. He could see another demon walking from the opposite side, but it was, like, really far away, so he couldn’t really tell at first who it even was. But as they got closer, Lucifer realized what it was.
That stupid, smiling idiot who thought he was all hot shit. That stupid smile. Stupid cane… stupid, stupid!
“Why good morning to you, your shortness.” Alastor blinked down at him, jabbing at his height. “Lovely day isn’t it? Everything seems to be shining a bit brighter in hell today, and it's certainly not just the buildings burning down!”
“Yeah, haha, whatever.” Lucifer rolled his eyes, and walked downstairs into the new lobby, that damned deer on his tail.
“Such a rude awakening this morning, I suppose someone must’ve got up on the wrong side of the bed.” Lucifer could hear static in the radio demon’s voice, and smiled smugly, he’d managed to tick the radio demon off already.
Alastor looked away from his face, feeling his own seem to smile a genuine smile for once. What the hell? Sure, his interactions with the king entertained him, but this was a new, strange feeling. One he hadn’t felt in centuries.
“Well, I’m starved! Let’s see what dear Charlie and her lover have conjured up for us today.” Alastor spun his cane around, and tapped it on the king’s head.
“Good morning dad! Hey Al!” Charlie waved at them, she looked like she had been up for a while, she was covered in flour and the kitchen was an absolute disaster.
Pots, pans, and various good items were strung about, and he nearly slipped on an egg yolk as he came closer.
“Uh… what happened?” Lucifer started to survey the area.
“I, uh, maybe attempted to make breakfast for everyone, all of you guys always cook, I thought I would give you all a break!” Charlie stretched out the ‘maybe’ as she tapped her fingers together.
Vaggie walked a moment later, and then stopped short, a bit dumbfounded.
“Did you try cooking again?” She cringed, looking over to Charlie.
“Yeah…” Charlie sighed, scratching the back of her neck.
“Come on, let’s go get you cleaned up.” Vaggie rolled her eyes, but still let out a small chuckle.
Nifty came scuttering by suddenly, a rat skewered on one of her various knitting needles.
“Awfully violent this morning I see.” Alastor laughed, earning a maniacal smile from the little bug. “Why don’t you run along, I’ll take care of this.”
Nifty cackled deviously, nodding, and crawled away.
“I don’t think I’m ever gonna get used to her…” Lucifer shivered a bit, and then started to dig through the cabinets for some pans.
“Are you cooking today?” Charlie tilted her head to the side as Vaggie came to guide her out of the kitchen.
“Oh sure! I’ll whip us up some pancakes.” He insisted, laying his tailcoat on a nearby chair.
“Oh, your majesty, let me. I’ve always been quite the master in the kitchen, I have many recipes that’ll be much better than a fluffy, tasteless slab.” Alastor teleported behind him, twirling a knife in his hand menacingly.
“Why don’t you both cook? You could use the bonding time, I’m not sure how much more of your arguing I can stand.” Vaggie sighed, and then she and Charlie were gone.
“Ok, so, I’ll make pancakes, which are actually very delicious, thank you very much, and you can do… whatever I guess. Some freaky cannibalism shit I assume.” Lucifer gestured with his hands, making Alastor flatten his ears back.
“Ah, ah, don’t judge a book by its cover.” Alastor said with a hard tone.
Lucifer watched- maybe just a tiny bit in awe- as the radio host expertly diced some sort of meat and veggies in mere seconds. The demon seemed to let this inflate his ego a bit, and he whisked smoothly to the stove next to him, cranking up the heat to boil some water in the pot he filled up.
“This tacky piece of shit…” Lucifer muttered. He found his face heating up a bit too.
He didn’t understand why he’d been so impressed with Alastor lately, it didn’t make sense. He wanted nothing less than to be within a mile of the red prick, but here he was now, cooking with him for hell's sake. Why was this so nerve-wracking?
“Where’d you learn to do that?” Lucifer decided he’d start some light conversation just so he wouldn’t have to sit in silence with his thoughts.
Alastor stopped for a moment, the king was asking him a pretty personal question, or rather, it was at least personal to him. He felt a blush come to his face, and he groaned to himself. He had to be coming down with something.
“Oh! Why none other than my lovely mother! She was the cat’s pajamas! An astounding chef, always whipping up something delicious.” Alastor shook off the embarrassment quickly.
“I’m guessing you were close with her?” Lucifer flipped one of his pancakes onto a plate, and then put more batter down to make another.
“Yes, she was all I had.” Alastor felt a melancholy feeling building up in his chest, and he turned around briefly to see the king looking at him warmly.
Lucifer noticed, his face flushing, and he whipped himself back around to flip over his pancake that had started to smoke.
“This one may be a bit crispy.” He put an emphasis on the ‘bit.’
Alastor had his back to the short creature again, his face notably red, similar to his clothing color. He felt himself basically sweating, very strange, perhaps he’d have to talk to Miss Morningstar to bump the heat down, he had not a clue how to do it himself. The radio demon distracted himself, snapping his fingers so his blazer would hang itself on a chair, maybe that’d help with the heat-stroke that was slowly threatening him. He hummed an old tune he used to play on his radio-show quite often, a love song. It was by all means corny, and Alastor had no idea what any of the innuendos meant, but he could still appreciate how the beat and lyrics flowed well together.
“Hey! That’s a good one. Didn’t think you had a somewhat decent music taste.” Lucifer exclaimed suddenly.
Alastor wanted him to shut up, badly. He felt his heart speed up again, and he stopped humming. He could barely focus on his cooking.
What.
The.
Fuck.
What was this? Alastor could feel himself almost lose his composure, letting terrible, uncouthly words float around his mind in his bewilderment. He put his hands over his head in frustration.
“You good back there, Bambi?” Suddenly, Lucifer noticed something sticking out of the much taller man’s pants.
“Oh!” Lucifer truly couldn’t help himself from pulling down on it and letting it bob up and down.
Static filled the air immediately, and Alastor turned around, ears flattened, eyes spinning radio dials, but his face was dark red, and tail… wiggling? Goodness! Could that be any cuter?
“If you value your wings, you’ll remain silent.” Alastor let his head tilt to the side, his neck making a loud, unsettling cracking sound.
“Chill with that creepy stuff, it’s just a tail.” Lucifer huffed, putting more batter down again.
“Yes, well, get any closer to my body without permission, my radio broadcast never lacks new voices.” Lucifer could hear Alastor bluffing instantly, but he decided to give the deer a break of his antics for now.
Alastor went to pick up a spoon to stir the contents in his pot, but his hand was so caked in sweat it slipped right out of his fingers, and practically went flying across the tiled floor.
“Butter-fingers today, aren’t we?” Lucifer snorted, but picked up the utensil anyways.
Alastor stared at the shorter man for a few long moments, why did this joke of a king make him act like a bumbling imbecile? The last few weeks had him on edge around Lucifer.
“Uh… like this,” Lucifer’s face flushed red, and placed the spoon in the demon’s hands, gently pressing his hands against Alastor’s. “Don’t kill me.”
Alastor whipped himself back around, the pot was nearly about to boil over, and he quickly stirred it. He turned the burner off, and put the contents into a strainer to get rid of the water.
“Back to your mysterious get-up, I see.” Lucifer’s voice cracked slightly, he was definitely helping the situation at hand.
If Alastor had the strength in his shaking limbs to mash the king over the head with the frying pan he held, he’d consider it. The guy was quite the talker in awkward situations, but great Satan, Alastor just wanted to be done and to disappear. He poured his ingredients into a pan full of cooking oil this time, and started to sprinkle it with pepper, salt, Cajun seasoning, and a few other spices he had made a few days ago.
“Could you hand me the-“ Both the men said at the same time, turning around to become nose to nose with each other.
“Something smells awfully…” Charlie’s cheerful voice made everyone stop dead in their tracks. “Uh! Never mind! Dad? What the fuck?”
“Hi!” Lucifer’s voice was merely a squeak. “We got a bit jumbled up, no worries!”
Charlie looked quickly between Alastor and her father, both of their faces were beat red, and Alastor’s smile was clearly strained.
“I’m just, you know, I’m gonna go.” Charlie waved to them quickly, and whipped herself swiftly back around.
Alastor had his face completely hidden as he finished his large serving of food, and he snapped his fingers so the table would be set in an instant. He was about to walk out, regaining his composure again, but someone grabbed his arm.
“Look, I don’t know what sort of strange dark magic you’ve pulled, but everytime I’m around you, I get such a strange feeling, stop it.” Lucifer let go of Alastor’s hand as soon as he grabbed it, remembering the demon’s boundaries.
Wait… why the hell was he respecting his boundaries?! Lucifer felt his face get beat-red again, why couldn’t the ground just swallow him up right now?
“Trust me, great Lucifer, if I had done something, you would’ve already realized.” Alastor, for once, didn’t wipe his hand on his shirt after the king touched him.
Lucifer felt like he was going to fall to his knees, the radio demon had never called him by his name. Good lord! This guy? Out of all people! Alastor stared down at the king, tail tucked between his legs in embarrassment. He didn’t mind that the king had grabbed his hand, which was really weird?! He felt uncomfortable and comfortable at the same time. It was utterly ridiculous.
“Your…” Alastor gestured down to the frying pan, trying to find an exit to whatever was happening. “Your breakfast pastry is on fire.”
Lucifer jerked his head around, how the fuck did he not see all that smoke?! This damned radio demon was messing up his brain. He yelled, scrambling around, no idea what to even do. He felt so out of sorts. Alastor rolled his eyes, he was quite amused at the scene. He simply snapped his fingers, and a cup of water splashed onto the stove. It sizzled, and then finally died down.
“Um… thank you.” Lucifer said a bit begrudgingly.
“It’s what I’m here for.” Alastor bowed.
“Do you um… mind if I…?” Lucifer felt like he was going to explode. “You’ve got something.”
Alastor felt a finger flick something off his cheek, a small speck of sauce. He hadn’t even noticed it, he wondered how the buffoon beneath him did. He just stared down at the king, who looked like he wanted to melt into the floor.
“Also! Um…” Lucifer got up on his tippy-toes, and Alastor bent down, his eyes rolling a bit.
He wondered what the king could possibly want now, perhaps-
Static nearly made them both go deaf as Alastor’s horns sprouted out of his head slightly.
The king of hell… had placed a small peck on his cheek?! If Alastor wasn’t so good at keeping himself together, he’d probably fall completely over.
Oh, wait, never mind! He did. Haha! Perhaps Alastor needed to go on another seven-year disappearance.
“Terribly sorry, that was really fucking stupid. I don’t know why I did that. Let’s never speak of this again, yeah?” Lucifer became an absolute mess again, stumbling backwards and hitting the hard tile himself.
“Uh… should I even ask?” Angel Dust’s head poked in, he had heard somebody scream. “What’s Smiles doin’ on the floor? He looks like he walked in on his parents going at it.”
Lucifer shot upwards from his depressing fetal position on the floor, and was standing the next moment.
“We uh, spilled some… oil.” The lie was so blatant, it basically kicked him in the ass.
Angel Dust just left, dumbfounded, he’d probably tell the whole hotel if Charlie hadn’t already asked anybody about the weird stuff that was going on in the kitchen.
“Lucifer…” Alastor cleared his throat, stood up, and brushed himself off neatly. “Why don’t I help you finish those pancakes? It seems you can’t even finish a task as basic as that, I guess I’ll have to step in.”
“What about…” Lucifer could feel the sweat stains in his armpits getting larger each second.
“I thought we were remaining silent about that.” Alastor made direct eye contact with him.
“I was just in the moment, I would like to talk about that.” Lucifer puffed out his little pathetic chest. “I am so, so, so sorry I did that! I have such a weird, like, attraction to you. Something makes me want to be next to you all the time. I shouldn’t have acted upon it, I don’t know what made me think you’d feel the same.”
“Well, as much as I hate to admit, I do feel the same way.” Alastor felt his face heat up as he looked off to the side. “Perhaps… we should do something about it?”
“Yes, stay as far away from each other as we can! Great plan!” Lucifer twirled himself around, ready to just stuff his face with food so he didn’t have to talk.
Annoyed static from behind him said otherwise.
“Oh! Is this your way of asking me out?” The king sounded and looked like a child, his fingers tapping together nervously.
Alastor looked away again, did he actually fall for this moron? “I guess...” He finally spit it out, not making eye contact.
He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually felt any sort of emotion towards anyone. It had to have been back when he was a human, visiting clubs to meet his fans. There were certainly a few flings here and there, nothing… of the sexual nature, no, no, that was rather absurd. But there had been a few people he felt affection for, genuinely.
“I don’t have all day, your highness, we’ve got to finish those… pancakes of yours.” Alastor put an emphasis on the breakfast item, pretending to be disgusted.
“Um…” Lucifer stood there, hands on his knees. “Yes!” He basically screeched at the top of his lungs.
“The whole hotel doesn’t need to know, but ok. I’ll accept that.” Alastor shrugged, and then strode over to the stovetop once again.
“So… what do we do now? You're my… boyfriend? Should we hold hands? Kiss?” Lucifer showered the radio demon with questions, making the both of them flustered.
“I was thinking perhaps you’d know, but I suppose there’s always a time to learn!” Alastor patted the king on the shoulder. “I’m guessing you're so inexperienced because of one little thing you had with your previous wife. I presume that was it for your dating life?”
Lucifer seemed to tense up a bit.
“Shall we speak about other things? I can’t say I’m a professional, but I’m sure we can navigate this together.” Alastor assured him.
“Why so professional?” Lucifer teased.
“Make your pancakes.” Alastor motioned to the now probably room-temperature batter sitting in the bowl.
Lucifer complied, not saying anything else. Occasionally he’d flick his gaze over to the radio demon, stealing a glance from the blood-red eyes. Alastor was carefully putting his blazer back on, feeling the set of yellow eyes on him. His smile widened affectionately.
Alastor stopped for a moment, standing completely still for a few minutes. He had first come to this hotel for a bit of entertainment, to hopefully use Charlie for her potential power he had within her. Now he was dating her father? The king of hell?! What a surprising twist it was, he was actually growing close to these beings. He had told Nifty about becoming accustomed to them, and he even got himself badly injured for them, now he was… dating one of them?
“Cat got your tongue?” The goofy man tilted his head to the side, suddenly a large stack of soft, buttery flapjacks sitting on the large kitchen table.
Alastor felt his tail flick underneath his blazer, it wasn’t a cat that had his tongue, someone else did. Or, maybe not his tongue, but his soul was on the line. He wasn’t going to admit that, though, he had too much pride for that.
“Just very infatuated, that’s all.” Alastor patted him on the head. “I’m sure we can figure this out together as it goes on. We’ll see what happens.”
“Your… serious about this, right? You're not just toying with me to take my place or get to my power, right?” Lucifer’s voice was quiet suddenly. “Er… I’m sorry. I just don’t want a repeat of…” He trailed off.
Alastor had to take a moment to think about that.
“Yes. I am.” Alastor held out his hand to the king, and he felt another hand placed in his, a bit shocked.
“Thank you.” Lucifer seemed to relax a bit, squeezing the radio demon’s hand.
Alastor blushed again, but a bit less extreme this time, it was hardly noticeable. He had to make sure nobody outside the hotel knew about this, or nobody inside the hotel for that matter. He wasn’t concerned about his public image, no, no! He was feared enough, and truly, he didn’t care.
“What?!” Charlie appeared again, her jaw to the floor.
Lucifer had brought his hand to Alastor’s cheek, his lips puckered for a kiss.
That was why nobody needed to know…
“Dad! Oh my gosh!” Charlie wasn’t disgusted, she just looked astonished.
“I fucking knew it.” Angel Dust was behind her. “Hah! You owe me five bucks, Whiskers!”
Alastor’s eyes narrowed, great, everybody knew now.
“Is your dad…” Charlie had Vaggie pulled in close by her waist, she looked pretty grossed-out. “Uh…”
“Charlie! I told you two to stay out of the kitchen!” Lucifer leaped from the chair he was perched on, and rushed over to the door where everyone was staring at them like deers in headlights.
Or well, Alastor looked like that technically, he was standing there, smile still very prominent, but his eyes were completely widened rather than being half-lidded.
“Aw leave em’ alone, don’t interrupt their moment.” Husker, surprisingly, vouched for the king of hell and the deer who owned his soul. “I doubt any of you would be happy to be that embarrassed.
The cat-demon sounded pretty amused when he spoke again, but they all seemed to agree and move out of the kitchen.
“Whooo… that’s gonna be a fun conversation later.” Lucifer’s shoulders sagged.
“Yes, but later.” Alastor pressed his lips gently to the king’s forehead. “Now, let’s finish breakfast, my jambalaya recipe is sure to knock everyone’s socks off!”
Yeah, Lucifer guessed he could say that the deer demon was kind of tolerable.