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Chapter Text

“Hey hey hey if it isn’t the two lovebirds!” Mizuki slings an arm around each of the couple, grinning mischievously. They lean closer to Mafuyu’s shoulder. “Say… if you want to make our beloved prince happy, then here’s a secret.” They whisper into Mafuyu’s ear, but Kanade catches it anyway. “Kanade loves teatime, so why don’t please him with one?”

Mafuyu wants to wrinkle his nose at the thought of “pleasing” the Prince, but maintains his decorum. Sure, he may be married to him, but it was an arranged marriage, between the Prince of the Sun Kingdom and the Princess(ugh) of the Moon Kingdom. A marriage only meant for diplomacy. Obviously there’s no love between them. And there never will, if Mafuyu gets his way.

Mafuyu sees Kanade making a desperate pleading face at him. “Please be nice.” He mouths. How pathetic. But fine, he has to keep the pretense of a happy couple for the mission, after all. Flashing a sickeningly sweet smile, Mafuyu turns to Mizuki.

“I would love nothing more than to please my Prince with his favourite hobby. How should I go about doing it?”

Mizuki snickers, dragging Mafuyu over to a corner where Kanade can’t hear them. “So you see, his favourite tea is carnation flower brew, but that’s not even a tea! Our silly Prince, right? And then for pastries, you shou—”

Mafuyu did not get carnation flower brew for Kanade.

Kanade grimaces at the display in front of the table. A fishy smell steams from the Pu’er tea. Another stench comes from the durian puff pastries. Everything that Kanade hates. Mafuyu had asked Mizuki about the Prince’s dislikes, and clueless Mizuki, thinking Mafuyu was trying to avoid getting Kanade something bad, had spilled all the beans to him. The tiniest of smirks from his lover makes it clear that this was not a mistake.

It’s okay. Play it cool, Kanade. He can still salvage this, somehow. He takes a sip of the tea, and tries not to choke. Right, he needs to attempt conversation. “So, Mafuyu…”

Mafuyu darkly stares at him. Saying nothing. Kanade gulps. “How are you?” He tries.

…

…

…

Oh god, would a hole please swallow him up already? Mafuyu continues her stare, arms crossed, doing absolutely nothing else. Kanade fidgets in his seat. He tries again.

“Um… what’s wrong?” He says in the gentlest tone he can muster.

A twitch on her face. A good sign? He presses forward, leaning his arm over the table, to touch Mafuyu’s hand, before he thinks better of it and retracts his hand. Umm…

“You can tell me anything, I’ll listen.” His eyes softens.

Anything? Anything really? Mafuyu has a million secrets to bear and none he can expose. The nerve of this Prince… Still, his soft eyes… Hm. Perhaps he will test him.

“I hate this dress.” He splats.

“Oh? Would you like to change it for something else then?” He stands up, ready to assist him.

“To another dress?” Mafuyu says lowly.

“Eh?” Kanade looks surprised, but is quick to recover. “No, it doesn’t have to be a dress. We have a great selection of pants and shorts in the closet upstairs.”

Hm. He isn’t affronted by the thought of his “wife” not wearing a dress. Interesting. Kanade gestures for him to follow, and he decides to listen to him for once.

He leads him to a giant closet, full of male garments and accessories. The clothes were impressive, lined with the signature gold of the Sun Kingdom, along with baby blue motifs. He is not used to the sheer brightness of the Sun Kingdom’s clothing, he’s more used to something more fitting of the Moon Kingdom’s… darker, perhaps…

From the depths of the closet, he fishes out a black long-sleeved shirt, a dark blue vest, black trousers, black gloves and a pair of black boots lined with gold. At the sight of these clothes, a little tingle runs through him. He has never been allowed to wear pants, not since he was little.

A memory flashes through him. His mother ripping his last pair of pants into two, chiding him. “A girl must always wear a dress! You’re older now, so you have to dress up like a proper lady.”

Girl. Lady. He wants to rip his chest apart and just disappear. He shakes his head, getting back to his senses. He still has his duties to perform.

He begins stripping in front of the Prince, who starts spluttering and covering his eyes like a cowardly child. “M-Mafuyu!! What are you doing??” What a pissbaby.

He finishes changing his clothes, and bores his eyes into the Prince’s. “What, we are husband and wife, aren’t we?”

“S-still!”

Kanade shakes his head, trying to get the image out of his mind. Wanting to change topic, he leads Mafuyu in front of the mirror.

A boy, no, a man stares back at him in the mirror. The collar goes all the way up to his neck, accentuating sharper features. A more blocky figure greets him. He’s wearing pants. Something starts pricking his eyes, but he resists it.

“You look good, Mafuyu.” The Prince smiles fondly at him. She looks so much more comfortable in wearing these. Against his better instincts, he takes a hold of Mafuyu’s gloved hand and brings it to his lips, in a soft, soft kiss.

Mafuyu… doesn’t hate it.

“Hey, Mafuyu…” The Prince looks into Mafuyu’s eyes gently. “If this is what you prefer to wear, then we can certainly commission more clothes of this sort for you. It’s no trouble.” He says in a soft tone.

Mafuyu’s heart hitches, before it sinks again. “Your subjects won’t mind?”

An uncharacteristic smirk forms on the Prince’s mouth. “I’m the Prince, who dares to go against me?”

They’re back at the tea table again. Even though Mafuyu feels more comfortable now, he still hates the Prince’s guts. He’s still married to him. Awkwardness surrounds them again.

Still, the poor prince tries. “How… has your day been?” He wants to add ‘dear’, but believes Mafuyu would get even more angry at him.

“…”

“I hate this marriage.”

An arrow pierces the Prince’s heart. His eyes brim with tears. He subtly wipes them away with his sleeve. Voice shaking, he tries to be calm. “I am very sorry to hear that. Do you…not like me very much?” His voice trails off at the end, frail.

Something shifts in his heart when he sees the Prince cry. He should be happy, no? But he just feels… disgusted at himself. It’s like making a child cry. He won’t lie, but he won’t sugarcoat the truth either.

“It’s not that I hate you. I just hate this arranged marriage I’m stuck with. It’s not personal.”

The Prince chokes back a whimper, tries to school his features to that of a proper Prince. He tries not to take it to heart. “I understand that. To be honest, I’m not sure why my father arranged this marriage either. But… can we start over, instead of being enemies? Could we get to know each other and be friends?”

Friends? Pfft. Don’t make him laugh. But he doesn’t want the Prince to cry more.

“Sure, I guess.” He shrugs.

The prince gives a watery smile. He takes a bite of the durian puff and pretends to like it. Shyly, he asks. “So, uh… what are some things you like to do?” Maybe if he learns Mafuyu’s hobbies and interests, then he will get to know her better.

“I don’t know.” Ouch.

The Prince flusters in his seat again. “Ah… That’s fine. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.” He smiles shakily once more.

“And... How are you enjoying your tea?

Mafuyu scoffs. “I can’t taste it. I can’t taste anything at all, actually.”

“You can’t taste anything?” Kanade’s eyes widen in shock. He can’t understand why she can’t taste anything. Concerned, he asks: “Do you have a cold or something?”

"No, it's always been like that. As far as I can remember. As a child I could taste things, but one day I just couldn't. It's not a big deal, don't pity me."

He’s not pitying Mafuyu, he swears! He’s just worried for her but he tries not to let it show, considering the shaky terms they are on. But hearing that she’s can’t taste for such a long time makes him feel very bad for her. He wants to comfort her.

“Even if it’s not that big of a deal, it has probably been very difficult for you, yes?”

Mafuyu shrugs. “It doesn’t bother me.”

Kanade has a feeling she’s lying. But he doesn’t want to upset her further, so he tries to change topic. “I was wondering… Can I ask you one thing?”

“Go ahead.”

“Umm, it’s a bit personal, are you sure you’re okay with answering it?”

So annoying. “Just ask already.”

The Prince squirms. He takes a deep breath and keeps eye contact with Mafuyu. “Can I know the real reason why you agreed to this arranged marriage?”

The real reason. The real reason is to kill him. Mafuyu obviously can’t say that, so he decides for a half-truth. “Because my mother said so.”

Kanade senses something more than that, but decides not to probe her further. He will let her tell him the full truth, in her own time. “And you agreed to it… Just because your mother told you to?”

Discomfort swirls in him. "Yes. A child is expected to be filial to their mother, is it not?"

Worry fills Kanade. “It is. But, don’t be mad at me when I say this… Is it really okay to listen blindly to your mother?”

Mafuyu stiffens. He never wants to think badly of his mother. “I-I… my mother loves me. There’s no doubt about it.”

Kanade is surprised by her defensiveness. Still, he pushes on. “You’re right, your mother loves you. But does she really know what’s best for your happiness?”

Mafuyu is tired of this conversation already. “My mother knows what’s best for me. What I want… doesn’t matter.”

Kanade’s horrified. “Doesn’t matter…? Your happiness doesn’t matter?”

Mafuyu feels ready to snap back. “Duty comes first before anything else. I can’t just do something out of a flimsy feeling such as happiness.”

He touched a nerve there. He has to back off, no matter how much his heart twists at how she thinks this way. He feels that she’s not going to change her mind anytime soon, so he should try a different approach. "You said that you used to be able to taste things as a child, right?"

"Yes, that's what I said."

"I have to ask, but... What was it like? What did things taste like?"

Mafuyu frowns. "I remember... liking my mother's home cooking. How savoury and sweet it was. That's all I can remember."

Her mother’s cooking, huh… The Prince is silent for a few moments. The fact that she can’t taste saddens him. He wants to help her. "Can I ask you one last question?"

“Yes.”

"Do you want to regain your sense of taste one day?"

Didn’t he already say it doesn’t matter already?

“I don’t c—… yes.” His traitorous mouth blurts out.

Kanade hums. "If I told you there might be a way to get it back… Would you like to hear it?"

What is he going to suggest to him? “Yes?”

Kanade takes a sip of his tea once again. “There was a recipe in a spell book that I once secretly read as a child, in the grand old library. There was a man who was gravely injured by a magical attack, and he lost all five of his senses. But then a witch cured him.”

Mafuyu’s skeptical. “I guess I can try.”

Kanade beams at her, happy that she’s willing to try. He’s about to continue the conversation when a servant comes up to him. “Prince Kanade, your meeting with the nobles for the East trade begins in 10 minutes.”

Oh. Opps.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Kanade stands up and takes a bow. “My apologies, Mafuyu, but I must depart. Let us talk more later.”

Mafuyu watches as the Prince disappears into the castle. He is panting from walking such a short distance.

Mafuyu still hates Kanade. Yes he does.

Chapter Text

A few months later…

This night is dead silent.

Aside from the lightly snoring Kanade sleeping next to him, on a separate single bed, Mafuyu is all alone.

He tosses and turns underneath his blanket, unable to fall asleep. There’s an unsettling stillness in the air, so thick you could cut it with a knife. Mafuyu is but all too familiar with this, this tension lying in the air. He’s extremely sensitive to changes in the weather, and this staleness can only mean one thing…

A storm is coming.

Mafuyu lays restless in his bed, his eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling of sheer nothingness. He is determined not to sleep tonight. Not until the storm passes. Soon enough, a blinding flash of lightning slices through the darkness, a deafening roar of thunder shortly following. Mafuyu clutches his hands to his ears, squeezing his eyes shut. The sound reverberates through his bones, painfully reminiscent of his mother’s angry shouts and his father’s anguished retaliation.

Thunderstorms… remind him of that one… fateful night…

A few years earlier…

“Mr. Mafuyu Asahina, you better get back here this instant!” Mafuyu scrambles for shelter, before realizing he is already hiding under the desk in his room, and his mother is shouting for his father, Mafuyu Asahina the Third.

“You clearly won’t budge, so the end of the conversation has been reached. I’m done.” His father slams the door behind him, having had enough of his wife. His naïve self believes that his wife will take his words to heart, and leave him alone. He thinks that it is safe for him to approach Mafuyu now. “Mafuyu, my dear little one, where are you?” He calls out.

Mafuyu wants to come out. From underneath his desk, and into the arms of his father. He loves his dad. He really does. But he flinches when he hears his mother shouting behind his father. An onslaught of knocks rumbles against the door. “MAFUYU ASAHINA!”

His mother hisses. “Don’t think your word means anything, Mr. Mafuyu. Do you really think you can get away with this?” She clenches her teeth. “Women can never be knights, dear.”

“And our daughter won’t become one.”

“Mrs. Asashina,” Mafuyu’s father grimaces and turns around. “Why can’t you see that you are crushing little Mafuyu’s dream? I’ve always let you have your way, but just this once, I can’t give in to you. Not on this.”

The door breaks down. A slash. And so, those were the last words he heard from his father.

“Tch. I had made full use of him anyway. His time was just up.”

With a bloodied face, Mrs Asahina eyes her daughter manically. She offers a bloodstained hand to Mafuyu. To her, blood is simply thicker than water.

“Don’t you see? Dad is wrong. Women can never be knights, my dear Mafuyu.”

Kanade… someone else, not just someone else, someone… likeable enough , someone to not make him so alone, someone, lying on the single bed separate from him, is just right there…

BANG!

Before he can even think, he jumps. His feet land shakily on the cold, hard floor. That particularly loud clap of thunder had sent an uncomfortable shiver down his spine. Since he has abandoned the warmth of his blanket, his entire body is exposed to the cold, cold night.

On instinct, he runs.

Despite everything, he jumps.

Right into the arms of his enemy.

“Mmree-eh??” Kanade is suddenly touching fluffiness that feels like heaven, and no, not even his royal blanket could feel that fluffy. Peering through an eye, his sight is invaded by wonderful purple. Ah, Mafuyu. He wraps his arms closer around his friend.

Against his will, Mafuyu sinks further into the crook of Kanade’s shoulder. His scent is soothing. Kanade reaches up to pat Mafuyu’s head, stroking his hair languidly. Mafuyu nearly purrs then and there. Kanade’s body is cold but it makes Mafuyu feel so warm…

He actually feels safe.

He can’t remember ever feeling that. Not since he was little. Not since the day he learnt how to listen, to obey the words of his mother. Yet, ever since he came here, for once free of his mother’s presence, Kanade has let him be himself, with no judgement, with no questions, no opinions whatsoever. With gentle eyes and warm kindness.

Kanade…

Kanade has been so kind, when he was anything but kind to him. Kanade offered him comfortable clothes when he only had words of barb to him. Kanade listened to him, waited patiently for him when he should be hating the ungrateful princess instead. Why should anyone listen to a loathsome girl like her anyway? But Kanade did.

It has been a few months of staying with him. Mafuyu had thought that this arranged marriage meant eternal imprisonment for the rest of his life, but he had never imagined that it would turn out to be… quite pleasant.

Kanade…

Mafuyu tilts his head upwards to look at the Prince, eyes closed over in peaceful slumber.

Kanade…

If Kanade knew about me, the real me, would he accept it? Will he still be as kind as he is, now?

Such a thought strikes through Mafuyu’s brain like the lightning that brews outside. Mafuyu has always been unable to trust other people. He can’t, he simply can’t. Not strangers, not “friends”, not dad, and certainly not mom.

Mom.

She’s not here now, isn’t it?

Kanade has made him feel like he has been living in a whole other world. A world filled with kindness. With nary a trace of cruelty.

Maybe, just maybe…

His mouth acts before his head thinks.

“Kanade?”

“Yes, Mafuyu?” Kanade rubs at his bleary eyes, turning his face downwards to look at Mafuyu.

No stopping now. “What if I told you… that I want to be a knight?”

“Eh?” Kanade’s eyes blink open in surprise. He turns Mafuyu’s words over in his head, processing it. “Sure, you can be a knight, I can make arrangement for you.”

Mafuyu eyes Kanade warily. “You don’t mind your wife being a knight?”

Kanade puts a finger up to his chin. “Well, if you’re my personal knight, then I guess it’s okay?”

Kanade is not getting it. Mafuyu pushes further. “Not just that. A woman being a knight.”

“Ah… it’s pretty rare, but not unheard of. It can be done, though.” Kanade looks into Mafuyu’s eyes. “I think you would be a good knight.”

Mafuyu’s too shocked to even react to the compliment. Women can be knights in this kingdom? In the Moon kingdom it was practically blasphemy. That’s still not exactly what he wants, though. What he wants is…

“And what if…”

A long silence.

It lingers. Mafuyu… Mafuyu has never gotten this far before. He has never revealed anything about his identity to anyone. No one knows. He thought he would take his secret to the grave. He thought no one else would ever know him as a man, not in life nor after death. With much pain in his heart, he had accepted that he would die as… a woman. That was until he met… Kanade. Kanade, who’s looking oh so gently into his eyes right now. Kanade, who’s waiting ever so patiently. Rather than nudge him to be faster, Kanade is willing to wait forever for Mafuyu, if need be.

Here goes nothing, then.

“…I never wanted to be a woman?”

Kanade gasps. “You’re a man then?”

Kanade’s not going to ask questions? How did he immediately get what Mafuyu’s saying? Mafuyu’s traitorous mouth blurts it all out before he can stop it. “I want to be a man, It’s one of the reasons why I hate this marriage. I never wanted to be a wife.”

“Oh.” Kanade chuckles.

A tear slips from Kanade’s eye. He heaves with a sigh of relief. Then he laughs once more.

Is Kanade laughing at him? It doesn’t seem to be unkind, however.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Haha…” Kanade’s eyes crinkle in mirth. “No no, sorry, I’m not laughing at you, I promise, it’s just that…”

He goes silent.

Kanade whispers. “I wasn’t born a boy either.”

What?

“…When I was very young, I hated dressing up. Especially in dresses. The maids all though I looked lie such a sweet, lovely “girl”, but I just… didn’t care much for it. I couldn’t care less on how I looked, I just wanted to write music. Though I’ll admit, shorts feel far more comfortable than dresses and skirts…” Kanade puts a hand to his chin, humming in thought.

Mafuyu stares. What Kanade describes is… similar to his childhood. Although, he did think that pants, rather than shorts, made him quite the handsome man. He nods, silently urging Kanade to continue.

Kanade chuckles lightly again. He looks into Mafuyu’s eyes, then shies away, bringing a hand to the back of his neck. Smiles sheepishly. “Ah… I also remember wanting to be a knight. When I first heard of knights being able to save other people by protecting them, I knew that was all I wanted to be, Waving a sword, fighting valiantly for my liege? It sounded so cool. Sadly, I um… sucked at physical training, and I’m my father’s son, of royalty, thus not meant to be a knight. Someone else protects me instead… so I suppose I grew out of the fantasy after some time.”

Kanade turns to look at Mafuyu. “It’s true that I couldn’t be a knight. But deep down. Something still didn’t feel right. I know I’m not a girl. I’m not a girl, I’m more of a boy. I will never be a woman, I will always be a man. I wanted to be a Prince, not a Princess.”

Kanade smiles. “My father made that wish come true for me.”

My father died for my sinful wish.

Mafuyu stares. “You’re not… born a boy.”

“No.”

Mafuyu narrows his eyes. “Then… how did the people take it?”

Kanade shrugs. “Well, I was really young back then, not that many people knew about me… and back then…”

“My parents were well loved by the people, and so by extension, their child was well loved too, girl or boy…”

Mafuyu can’t help but choke back a sob. “I… wish I had been you.”

Kanade smiles wistfully at Mafuyu. “Ah… I’m sorry that wasn’t possible in the past. But you can start now.”

It’s Kanade’s turn to stare. “I’m serious, you can be a man and a knight. And…” Sadness on his face. “I-If you want to void this marriage, t-that’s fine as well…”

Mafuyu is beyond words. Is this what being touched feels like? He gets to be reborn as a man, and as a knight? Still, somehow, freedom from this marriage doesn’t seem to be as appealing as before. He doesn’t want to leave Kanade.

Vaguely, he also still remembers his mission.

Can’t let mom know.

“Thank you but… let’s keep this marriage for now. I’ll be a knight, but still a Princess in the eyes of the public.”

Suddenly, Kanade’s lips look very appealing. “If I can be a man, even if it’s just to you… then, that’s more that alright to me.”

Kanade nods. “Mafuyu, my dearest knight, my Prince.”

Mafuyu is still unable to sleep, but, cuddled together with Kanade, they both remain sleepless throughout the night.

Yet a few more months later…

A swift dodge. A quick maneuverer. A well-timed strike to the neck, just barely on the cusp of chopping it off. The defeated man staggers backwards and holds his hands up in surrender.

“Stop, stop! I’ve had enough.”

The only change on Mafuyu’s face is the slightest quirk of his lips. Planting his sword down, he helps the man up, who gives a nervous “thanks” and scuttles off, tail between his legs. A sorry sight.

Mafuyu stows his sword in his scabbard, beginning to pack up his equipment. Surrounding him, the usual murmurs start off again. Both grumbles of scorn and whispers of begrudging admiration fill the air. How could the Princess be this good, no, better in sword-fighting that the old guards? Worse still, she far surpasses them in archery, being one of the best, if not The Best, archers that the Sun Kingdom has ever seen.

Kanade has always been a well-beloved Prince, but his recent decision to let the Princess become a knight has been met with considerable derision. Just what is the Prince doing, letting his wife do whatever she wants? And doing activities decidedly meant for men at that. The public opinion of the Prince is tainted after this decision of his. He is no longer seen as a kind and good-hearted Prince, but rather a weak and feeble one, one that can’t even control his wife. There were even rumours of his wife demanding the Prince give her a haircut, forcing him to chop all her hair off. Just who is the man here?

Yet, does Kanade himself care? None at all, the Prince is still cuddling his personal knight to sleep every night.

These rumours are once again about in the knights’ training grounds today, sprouting like weed. A dark glare from the Princess silences them all at once. No matter how disgruntled they were, the old guards could not openly rebel against royalty, after all. (Besides, that glare is so scary.)

Mafuyu wipes the sweat off from his brow. That training paid off rather well. His heart feels warm, from the rush, from the daze, from the thrill of sword-fighting. Unbeknownst to him, a small smile has formed on his lips.

He finishes clearing up the equipment quickly. Having nothing else planned next, he stands still, leaning against the armoury’s walls, at a loss for what to do. He thinks of Prince Kanade.

What could the Prince be doing right now? Probably lost in a meeting or two, meekly discussing state business with his officials. Or perhaps he had sneaked off into the balcony of the East Tower, discreetly playing music on the grand piano. Oh, how his face of pure concentration would look when he diligently practices music. Perhaps Mafuyu should join him.

Mafuyu blinks. He shakes his head. Why would he join the Prince in his free time willingly? Did he forget that he hates dislikes the Prince? Still, he can’t help but wonder…

Ever since the two of them have shared their deepest secrets to each other, the whole dynamic between them seems to have changed. Mafuyu finds himself getting closer to Kanade. Against his will, of course.

Ugh, Kanade is so annoying, bouncing all about his head. Stomping up the stairs, the knight decides to make his annoyance clear to the subject himself. He almost reaches the door to the Prince’s bedroom when he halts his footsteps. Oh, he has a much better idea now.

Why not annoy the Prince with an even more perfect teatime?