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“This is a terrible idea.”
“Oh come on, I’m sure your family will get along fine with mine,” Dean say, his voice unconvincing.
Castiel gulps, a low simmer of terror in his gut. “My family doesn’t get along with each other, let alone-”
“My 'loose conglomeration of friends and surrogate relatives?'”
“I said that once."
“Gabe isn’t so bad,” Dean offers. “Your mother, well…”
“This is a terrible idea.”
“Yeah, well, it’s this or a repeat of last year.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” Castiel mutters, without much conviction. Just the memory triggers a headache, and maybe a few sympathetic muscles spasms, as he and Dean stare at the front door and the clock ticks relentlessly towards five PM.
“Dude, eight parties, one week? Are you kidding me?”
“Well, we could have stretched it over the second week of break if you hadn’t insisted spending it otherwise occupied.” Dean’s mouth quirks at the memory and Cas finds himself smiling fondly as well and drops his voice lower. “What was the phrase you used to convince me to go with that plan? Something about expanding my stodgy professor sex horizons?”
“You loved it,” Dean smirks. “And I said ‘professorial.’ What kind of nerd are you?”
“Like I said, it wasn’t so bad."
“Except where we were too burnt out to actually enjoy ourselves for like, half the week.” It's true. Last year he and Dean had been…perhaps over-ambitious. “And let’s not even start with the shit we had to take for missing Thanksgiving this year…”
Castiel shudders at that thought. The phone call with his mother, on its own would have been an ordeal. Adding in an extremely horny, greasy boyfriend arriving home from the auto shop determined to sully him in every possible way and crawling under Cas’s desk while he was ‘still on the phone, damnit, Dean’ might actually be considered torture.
“I’m still not sure I’m going to be able to look my mother in the eye,” Castiel sighs.
“Aw, poor thing,” Dean smirks and turns to Cas. “Want me to hold your-”
“If you idjits gonna are just stand around doin’ nothin'” Bobby’s voice booms from the kitchen. “At least have the decency to pretend you’re not talking about what I think you’re talking about.”
Castiel's cheeks redden as a grin spread over Dean’s face.
“Oh come on, you hear worse all day at work,” Dean yells back, twinkling eyes still locked with Cas's as he waggles his eyebrows.
“Yeah, well, I’m hosting your Christmas at my damn house,” the older man says, emerging into the front hall and wiping his wet hands on a towel. “So behave your fool selves.”
“Yes, of course, sorry,” Castiel nods immediately.
“I ain’t talkin’ to you."
“Come on, Bobby, look at him. What do you expect me to do?” Dean protests and Cas tries to hide his face. “He’s fucking adorable when he gets all flustered.”
“I’m gonna have to ask Rufus to shoot me,” Bobby sighed.
“Sure. You wanna do shotgun, or deer rifle?”
All three of them jump at Rufus’s voice from the kitchen door.
“Where the hell did you come from?” Dean asks.
“You never heard of a back door?” Rufus replies with a squint. Another smile breaks across Dean’s face.
“Don’t,” Cas and Bobby warn simultaneously.
“What?” Dean asks innocently as he follows Rufus into the kitchen. Castiel and Bobby roll their eyes. “Jesus, how many potatoes can did you bring?”
“Shut your mouth and start grating. Latkes don’t make themselves.”
“You doin’ okay?” Bobby asks as Cas continues to stare at the front door, as if Bobby can hear Cas asking himself if it was too early to call this all off. “I know your mom tends to wind you up.”
“How much liquor did you tell Ellen to bring?” Cas asks back and only receives a warm chuckle in answer. Castiel closes his eyes and breathed in. This is going to be okay…A small, family Christmas. Ellen and Jo, Sam and Jess, plus Rufus (for reasons that were mysterious to Cas but probably involved the fact he promised Dean lots of latkes), then Castiel's mother, brothers and sister. Everyone will do fine as long as they…dodn’t talk. Even the idea of his uncle Zach interacting with Ellen or Rufus is terrifying. The last time Dean had seen him they'd almost come to blows. And the only time Dean met uncle Marv they had come to blows, though light ones.
A pounding knock jolts him thankfully out of the anxiety spiral, though the voice on the other side of the door sets off another.
“Baby bro! Open up and let in the holiday cheer or we’re climbing down the chimney,” his brother's jovial voice calls as Cas rushes to let him in. Of course Gabe was here first. He lives closest and know there is going to be food.
“Gabriel." Castiel forces himself to smile as he opened the door. “Happy Holidays…how...I didn’t know they sold eggnog in gallon containers.”
“Don’t get me started,” Kali’s purrs from beside Castiel’s brother. “Happy Holidays, Cas, good to see you. I made samosas.”
“I’ve got candy canes too,” Gabe grins. “What’s with the ‘Happy holidays?’ I thought you said this was a Christmas shindig.”
“Well, considering your girlfriend is Hindu and you’re…whatever it is you are, I thought it was more appropriate…” Castiel murmurs. How had he forgotten that Kali would be coming? This is fine, of course. Though Kali and his mother...aren't necessarily warm towards each other.
“Pshhhh, just turn on very light in the house and Kali’s stuff is covered. I, on the other hand require some dancing sugar plums,” Gabriel jokes as he heaves two of the THREE gallon containers of egg nog into Castiel’s arms. “And it is Christmas eve, so, let’s get drinking,”
“Gabriel, I don’t think that’s a correct interpretation of Diwali…” Cas attempts as he rushes after the other two into the kitchen.
“Heya, Deano!” Gabriel calls, and Cas is for a moment caught off-guard by how his boyfriend can look that attractive in a hideous sweater, with his sleeves rolled up, surrounded in potatoes.
“Hey, guys,” Dean grins, though it's a bit uneasy as he glances at Kali. “Did I hear something about a chimney because I know Cas certainly likes when…”
“No,” Kali stopped him, and Cas is suddenly extremely happy she tolerated Gabriel enough to come.
“Right, uh…wanna help with the latkes?” Dean almost squeaks. With an elegant shrug Kali removes her jacket. Just then the front bell ring and a knock sounds at the back door. “Oh, uh, Cas, I might have told a few other people about the party.”
“What?” Cas asks, terror flooding his veins.
“You know, just, close friends,” Dean says with his best placating look. “Inner circle, you know…”
“I’ll get the front,” Cas sighs, rushing out of the kitchen, panic rising. He doesn’t get much of a chance to actually answer the door, as the latest guests have simply…let themselves in. Coats and hats are being removed in what could only be called an explosion of red hair.
“Charlie!” Castiel says happily as Dean’s (and his, now he reminds himself) bestie turns from the coat hooks to run and hug him. “Dean didn’t tell me he invited you and…” Cas has no idea who the second, smaller redhead is that is regarding him with rather too much interest from the entrance hall was.
“Cas this is Rowena,” Charlie tells him tensely as she draws out of the hug. “My boss. Well, supervisor. Sorta.”
“Oh…” Castiel swallows as the woman held out a hand.
“Thank you so much for this kind invitation.” Cas sends Charlie a quick, horrified look and she shrinks a bit, grimacing. “It means so much. Charlie has been such a consolation this year, since my worthless criminal of a son decided he didn’t need to spend time with to woman who gave him life over the holidays.” It was amazing how the woman’s thick Scottish accent makes the statement seem slightly less terrible.
"I am so sorry," Charlie mouths. "She has nowhere else."
“Oh, well, of course, the more the merrier,” Cas attempts to sound calm.
“Just so, dearie. Now, this is for you, never show up uninvited without a wee prezzie, I say.” Rowena winks as she hands Castiel the box she’d been holding. “Hope you like haggis.”
“What?”
“She’s joking,” Charlie interjects, though there's panic in her voice. “Right? I mean, you can’t get those in America.”
“I am joking,” Rowena smiles and Cas felt marginally better as he opens the box to reveal… “Blessed Yule, darling. Now I could have brought an actual log, but I didn’t know if you had a real fireplace, so pastry will have to do. I don’t recommend lighting it on fire, but it will do in a pinch.”
“Oh, are you…” Castiel was at a loss for words as he looked down at a log made of what he assumes is cake. It's covered in woodland creatures made of frosting at least.
“Wiccan, dear,” Rowena answers as she follows Charlie towards the kitchen.
Charlie catches Cas’s eye, her face apologetic. “Hey, just think, a Wiccan at the Christmas party will totally distract your asshole family from all the gay!"
“Hey, is that cake?” Gabriel asks, materializing out of nowhere beside Cas as he wanders towards the rapidly overcrowding kitchen in a shocked haze. “Hey, Dean, cake!”
“Where’s the pie?” Dean asks loudly over the introductions going on. Sam had very obviously arrived at the same time as Ellen and Jo, as he takes up a significant portion of the space in the room, and Cas recognizes his girlfriend, Jessica at his side of course. But not the two other people.
“I’ve got your damn pie ready to go into the oven, boy!” Cas smiles at Ellen’s voice, scanning the crowd for her. He finds her and nods a hello just as Jo reaches him.
“I’ll take that,” Jo smiles, taking the Yule log. “Where’s your mom and other sibs?”
“Not here yet, who…”
“Hey Cas!” Sam says, pushing through the crowd and clasping Cas in a hug. “I hope you don’t mind, I know this was supposed to be family, ish, but I brought along my friend Kevin, and his mom. Their heat broke this morning and, well, it’s Christmas eve so…”
“Look, we got little money things,” Dean interrupts, handing Castiel a small red and gold envelope.
“What?” Cas squinted. “I thought that was New Years?”
“Eh, it works for every kind of celebration,” a small, yet somehow incredibly intimidating Asian woman answers with a shrug. “We had to do something since we were crashing. Cash is easy.”
“You know what else is…”
“Dean,” Sam is the one to stop him this time, glaring as Castiel shakes hands with Kevin and his mother.
“I’m Linda by the way. Sam said we wouldn’t be intruding, but I’m grateful anyway,” she say “If you ever need any translating done, call Kevin.”
“Oh, of course…” Castiel hopes he looked like he knows what's going on. "Dean, I don't think my mother and uncles are going to be very..." The back door swings open again, the latest guest not even bothering to knock. At least Castiel recognized Benny.
“Hey man, glad you made it!” Dean grins, escaping Castiel's glare to give Benny an awkward half hug around the large slow cooker he's carrying. Cas sends him a weak wave.
“Merry Christmas, brother. Where can I plug in a crock pot, brother, gotta keep the gumbo warm,” Benny drawls. “And I know it’s a week early, but I’ve got some black eyed peas too.”
“Stick it anywhere between the potatoes,” Bobby answers.
“That’s what she said,” Gabriel smirks and Cas snorted despite himself.
“How come no one yells at him?” Dean mutters.
“Because with him we know there’s no hope,” Sam says over everyone’s head. The kitchen is filling with amazing smells and it was almost enough to calm Cas down.
“Hey, Cas…” Dean mutters as another knock comes from the front. “Now is probably a good time to tell you that, with Rufus here, and it being Bobby’s house…I might have mentioned the shindig to the guys at work.”
“Dean, you have got to be kidding, this was supposed to be a small family Christmas!”
"Come on, it's not like your mom can hate me more! And anything to piss of Zach..."
"Dean!"
As if on cue Sam opens the back door, letting in Victor, who Cas is pretty sure wasn’t an inner circle friend and certainly isn’t a co-worker.
“Victor, you made it!” Dean calls, pushing through the crowd (some of whom were starting to move towards the living room at least). “I thought Kwanza wasn’t for a few days.”
“Shut up and show me where to stow the beer, you idiot,” Victor shoots back, rolling his eyes.
“It’s pronounced idjit in this house,” Charlie corrects, stepping into the kitchen as the doorbell rings. Cas rushes to the front, his heartbeat racing. He’d barely been able to convince his mother to drive all the way to their state, let alone “Mr. Singer’s” and it had been with the promise of a quiet, family dinner. And she had only convinced the uncles and Michael to come because "Sam was such a nice, responsible boy." Cas steels himself as he opened the door to reveal...
“Garth,” Cas exhales, remembering the co-worker conversation.
“Merry Christmas!” Garth laughs, pulling Cas into a tight hug, which is surprisingly comforting despite Garth’s sharp angles and height. “Whoops, didn’t mean to smoosh the fruitcake,” Garth apologizes as he drew back.
“What did you call my boyfriend?” Of course that’s the minute Dean shows up.
“Hey, man, you know I’m all love,” Garth smiles and handed Dean an actual, if somewhat smashed fruitcake. “Ed and Harry are just getting the pole out of the van.”
“…Pole?” Cas parrots.
“Whoa, this party just got a lot better,” Dean says. Ed Zeddemore, who Castiel was pretty sure Dean doesn’t even like, choses that moment to ascend the front steps, holding the front of an aluminum pole.
“It’s a Festivus pole, asshole,” Ed explains sourly.
“Yeah, and you actually making us bring this is going to be part of my airing for grievances!” Harry yells from behind. "We've also brought greenbeans."
“What is going on?” Castiel asks no one in particular.
“I’ll explain when you’re older,” Dean muttered. “Wanna help me stuff the turkey?”
“Is that a euphemism?” Cas asks with a glare.
“It can be."
“Who else is coming that I don’t know about, Dean?” Castiel watches as Dean’s eye flicked to the driveway where yet another car that is not his mother’s is pulling up.
“Okay, in my defense, they asked about our holiday plans while you were getting your stuff when I picked you up at work the other day and I maybe invited them along on accident,” Dean says. “But, come on, I bet it was a super interesting carpool!”
“What…” Castiel turns around to see his co-workers, Balthazar and Hannah, emerging from Balthazar’s ridiculously low Audi sports car. Hannah looks a bit green.
"They came together? But Hannah hates him."
"And me," Dean shrugs. "But we all like you so, let's go with it."
“Cassie! We come bearing croquembouche!” Balthazar calls and Castiel wondered distractedly how anyone can wear a v-neck shirt in December.
“Merry Christmas, Castiel,” Hannah says evenly then nods minutely. “Dean.”
“What the hell did you bring?” Dean asks, ignoring Hannah’s usual tension around him.
“It’s essentially a tower of creampuffs,” Hannah sighs as Balthazar manages to bound towards them balancing the thing. Dean turns to Castiel, his entire face pleading for permission to say what he's thinking.
“No,” Castiel sighs and Dean pouts.
“Dean didn’t tell you he invited us, did he?” Hannah redirects sensing Castiel’s stress.
“Not…really." Hannah gave Dean a glare as he disappeared inside with Balthazar. “But you’re here now and it’s wonderful to have you.”
“Thanks, I’m looking forward to meeting…” Hannah goes a bit pale as she follows Cas into the bustling house. “Everyone you know?”
“Well, I don’t think Jody’s here yet,” Castiel said.
“Oh, no, she and Alex just got here!” Jess grins, running past Cas with four cups of eggnog in her hand. “Do you have anything vegan for Kevin?”
“Maybe the latkes…”
“I brought kale salad, that should suffice. I thought this was a Christmas party?” Hannah asks, trading her salad to Jessica for two drinks and handing one to Cas. He downs it in one gulp.
“Rufus is Jewish and Dean wanted latkes,” Castiel shrugs. "He mentioned the word chistmahanukwanizaka? I think he made it up."
From the kitchen he hears Gabriel exclaiming in glee at the arrival of Balthazar and the…whatever the thing was called. He peered into the living room where Linda is deep in conversation with Rowena while Charlie and Kevin look on in horror. Cas can only make out Linda asking if covens collect dues.
“Is that why the menorah is on top of the festivus pole?” Cas jumps at another new voice on the other side of him.
“Chuck, when did you…” Cas almost whimpers. “And how…”
“I wasn’t sure I was gonna make it, Christmas is kinda awkward with me and some, uh, family members…but, this is fun! I carpooled with Ash, he's bringing in the keg." Castiel was sure he was about to faint. "Did you see the thing Balthazar brought? It's taller than Sam."
“Yes, I…”
"Also, I think Ash brought some weed for later if you..."
"NO!" Castiel isn't going to faint. He is going to cry.
“I don’t think we’ve met,” Hannah interrupts, saving Cas, who takes the moment to rush back to the kitchen and maybe stop Ash from making any baked goods too festive.
“Dean!” Cas calls, unable to find his soon-to-be-murdered boyfriend in the crowd. "I'm going to kill you as soon as I find you..."
“He’s helping Bobby with some presents, I think?” Sam pants, surveying the chaos as he comes to Cas’ side. “You missed the fight between Ellen and Rufus about using some of the potatoes for mashing, by the way. And then Gabriel almost got punched when he started complaining that the sweet potatoes weren’t gonna have marshmallows.”
“He didn’t bring his own?”
“Oh he did, it’s just the principal of the thing apparently.” Sam smiles, popping a celery stick in his mouth.
“Ew, where did you find that?” Dean asks, arriving beside Cas and Sam without warning from outside again judging by the color in his face.
“I brought a vegetable platter?” Sam says, sounding putupon.
“Eugh, dweeb. The only thing those are good for is the ranch dressing and believe me when I tell you it taste much better where it's on a…”
“DEAN.”
“What?” Dean asks, as if he didn’t know exactly what was wrong with what he was going to say. “You didn’t mind…”
“Can we go one minute without you making some innuendo about the food,” Cas begs and Sam looks as if he wanted to disappear, which was probably Dean’s goal.
“Well, I can make innuendo about something else if you like,” Dean says with a waggle of his eyebrows. “You haven’t found where I did the mistletoe yet…and you’re gonna definitely gonna have to do more than kiss me underneath it.”
“Merry Christmas, Castiel.” Castiel will never cease to be amazed by his mother’s ability to freeze the blood in his veins with so few words. He turns slowly to see his mother waiting behind him, flanked by Luke and Alfie (who was holding the largest ham Castiel had possibly ever seen). “Anna is parking. We knocked a few time in front until someone named…Garth let us?”
“He hugged me. Do I know him?” Alfie asks, more than a bit confused.
“You do now,” Dean answers weakly, avoiding Naomi Milton’s eyes. “Ooo, are those deviled eggs?”
“Only thing I can make,” Luke explains, handing Cas a tray and sauntering in, surveying the chaos in interest.
“Lucy, you’re home!” Gabriel calls, emerging from behind a steadily growing pile of latkes. “Did you see the tower of creampuffs? Best Christmas ever. Hey, Mom! Made Alfie do the heavy lifting again I see,” Gabriel says, as he joins the family for a series of hugs.
“I’ll take these, dear. You look like you're about to have an aneurysm,” Jody offers to Cas, earning a raised eyebrow from his mother but allowing him to get a in few hugs too. Naomi deigns only to shake hands with Dean, though Luke and Alfie give him awkward hugs.
“So, where at Statler and Waldorf?” Dean asks after a second and Castiel can hear the same prayer in Dean’s voice that was in his own head.
“Yeah, Uncle Marv and Uncle Zach, uh, couldn’t make it…” Alfie mutters.
“They didn’t want to spend a holly occasion in a den of sodomy and degradation,” Luke says bluntly.
“You know I told them, this isn’t your house, so technically not a den of…” Gabriel withers under his mother’s glare before finishing the sentence, though Dean does cast him an appreciative smile.
“Screw them,” Anna declares, pushing her way through the crowd to hug Castiel and Dean simultaneously, then moving on to Gabriel and Sam. “I assume we’re talking about who I think we are.”
“The gruesome twosome, yeah,” Gabe grins.
"What about...Michael?" Castiel isn't sure he's actually seeing things correctly when his cousin, who he was pretty sure resented Dean rather profoundly - more so for punching his father than for any moral short comings - appeared behind Anna.
"I brought rolls," Michael tells the surprised crowd stiffly.
"Oh, man, I am so glad man, I didn't think we'd have anything to roll with, I left my papers at home," Ash exclaims, sauntering into the middle of the group and flinging an arm around Alfie and Michael. "Who are you again? Did you know there's a fucking witch in the living room? The lesbian brought her. They're right by the stripper pole."
Castiel's mother's mouth flaps open and closed a few times in shock.
“Well, it does seem like Zach and Marv be missing…quite the event,” Naomi says carefully, the barest smile teasing across her face in what might actually qualify as a Christmas miracle. “Which I guess is their loss. I'm sure the evening will be quite entertaining. Now, Kali promised me samosas.”
An hour later every chair Bobby owns and some he didn’t are filled with people eating, mostly out of plates on laps, since the table is completely covered in food. Cas wanders through, catching snippets of conversations as Bing Crosby sings through the speakers.
“Yeah, man, my grama used to make black eye peas for New Years too!” Victor tells Benny, as Hannah listens intently.
“Granny would tell me to watch ’em while they cooked to catch them winking at me!” Benny laughs.
“Wait, did they actually…” Castiel doesn’t hear the rest of Hannah’s question but he smiles.
Across the room Ed and Harry are posturing for Jo, who was doing her best not to break into hysterical laughter while she makes eyes at Charlie, who is trying to extricate himself from between Linda and Balthazar’s animated joint rant regarding the upcoming election. Castiel isn't sure but Michael had asked someone for a lighter a few minutes ago and disappeared with Ash.
“You know a lot can be said for the experience of older women, you know,” Rowena is telling Luke as Cas passes. Castiel sends is brother a look, but Luke actually seemed quite charmed.
“Please tell me more,” Luke purrs leaning in and Rowena giggled. Castiel moves on.
Kevin and Alfie are in a corner with Alex, doing something on their phones, which Cas swear are meowing, though Kevin seems a bit distracted by Alex. Jody and Ellen are laughing with Jess and Gabriel through mouthfuls of creampuffs. Castiel turns back into the kitchen to find that his mother has opted to try the edible yule log, which Sam is explaining excitedly.
“You know, most of the Christmas traditions are actually pagan,” Sam tells her, ignoring her incredulous look. “The tree, Santa, mistletoe. All of it.”
Naomi looks at Chuck, who is standing between them looking small and worried. “I don’t know, man, I’m a pastafarian," the small man says.
Castiel sighs and moved on, a grin threatening to break across his face. It broadens as he sees Kali was chatting politely with Bobby…in Japanese. Though it falls when he see Garth and Rufus with Anna.
“So, the Jewish thing, how does that really work with the…” Garth gestured towards Rufus and the older man gives Garth a look that might have melted a less innocent soul.
“Are you for real, gumby?” Rufus asked.
“The latkes are amazing though,” Anna interjects, sending Castiel a wink. “Mother’s recipe I bet?”
“Uncle’s, but thank you,” Rufus grumbles.
“She’s not wrong, these are delicious” Dean declares, coming to stand beside Cas, taking a bite of latke.
“Are…are you eating those with ham on top?” Cas asks in horror. Dean raises his eyebrows, cheeks full of food, completely guileless and perfect.
“Isthatnotcool?” Dean asks through his mouthful, looking between Cas and Bobby.
“You could swallow first, you know,” Castiel told him, shaking his head. “And before you say it, yes, I do indeed like it when you swallow.” Dean nearly chokes, grinning at Cas.
“Aw, man, I am so lucky,” Dean says after, blessedly, swallowing, nudging Cas with his shoulder as Cas blushes.
“You really think so?” Castiel asks, almost shy. "Even though I have idiots for uncles who shun us."
“Hell yeah,” Dean chuckles. “ And come on, Cas, you don't even like them. You certainly don't need them. I mean, look at this…” Dean gestured to the view of the chaos. “Yeah, it’s a bit of a mess…”
“A bit?”
“And I know you see how everyone could piss everyone else off or screw up, and how mismatched it all is but…I see a whole bunch of happy people eating good food and getting along. Perfect Christmas,” Dean continued. “Screw them. They're just blood. This is family. And our family is pretty amazing.”
“Our?”
“Is there an echo in here?” Dean teases, but Cas can only stare at him. It was a little word, but for some reason it banishes the last wisps of anxiety and fear that had been dogging him. Because Dean is right, everything is okay…because it isn’t a bunch of different friends and families, it was just…theirs.
“Castiel, can you tell me where the…” his mother is asking, coming from the kitchen, but Castiel can only see Dean.
“Marry me,” Castiel says without looking away from Dean.
He hears someone gasp and suddenly the room seems much quieter.
“Yeah, okay,” Dean smiles, his cheeks warming.
“Castiel, did you just…”
“The wedding is gonna be nuts though,” Dean warns, but Castiel just smiles. The snow has started up outside and the music seems to grow louder.
Castiel pulls the love of his life into a kiss. Though it won’t always be, in this one moment, as music plays and their family laughed around them, life was perfect.