Chapter Text
It was the beginning of the December after Bill had nearly caused the end of the world. The Pines Twins were living with their two grunkles in the Mystery Shack, along with Bill, who was still going steady with Dipper.
Dipper was in the living room, reading the journal, while Bill had his arms wrapped around his Pine Tree, snuggling him every so often.
“Dipper!” Mabel called out before running into the living room.
“What is it, Mabel?” Dipper asked, looking up from the journal.
“Okay, so I have bad news and good news,” Mabel started. “The bad news is that Soos and Wendy won’t be celebrating Christmas with us; Soos said he and Abuelita is going to celebrate with Melody and her parents.”
“That’s nice,” Dipper noted. “So Soos is going to meet Melody’s parents?”
“I know! That’s a really big milestone!” Mabel answered excitedly. “Wendy and her family are holding Christmas with her cousin at his logging camp. But! The good news is I got a letter from mom and dad!”
“You mean they for once actually replied to one of your letters?” Dipper questioned in disbelief.
“That’s not all!” Mabel was bouncing with glee. “They said they managed to make time in their schedules to be with us the twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth!”
“You mean…?” Dipper trailed off.
“Yes!” Mabel cheered. “Mom and dad are going to celebrate Christmas with us, here!” Mabel shoved the letter into Dipper’s hands.
“’Dear Mabel and Oren,’” Dipper read aloud. “’An investor cancelled an appointment set on the twenty-fourth, meaning we have time to see you this year at Christmas. We are both excited to see the town you now call your home, as well as meeting your real great-uncle Stanford and hearing about his adventures trapped in an interdimensional portal. Most of all, however, we cannot wait to meet Oren’s new boyfriend, Bill. See you all the twenty-fourth, love mom and dad.’”
“So, I’m going to meet your parents, Pine Tree?” Bill smirked. “You said that was a milestone, right, Shooting Star?”
“It is!” Mabel agreed. “Oh, Dipper this is going to be wonderful! We haven’t celebrated Christmas with mom and dad in four years!”
“Mabel!” Dipper hissed at her. “This is going to be a catastrophe!”
“Why?” Mabel asked, cocking her head to the side.
“Literally the only things our parents know about Bill is, a, he’s a demon, and b, he almost caused the apocalypse!” Dipper pointed out.
“Pine Tree,” Bill grinned and began to play with Dipper’s hair. “I promise to play nice with your parents; after all, they are my in-laws, right?”
“Right!” Mabel nodded enthusiastically.
“No!” Dipper fumed. “They’re not your in-laws, Bill! We aren’t married.”
“Future-in-laws, then,” Bill shrugged.
“This entire Christmas is going to be a disaster,” Dipper groaned, hiding his face in his hands.
“Why do you think so?” Mabel sat down on the couch beside the boys.
“Remember how this year’s Thanksgiving went?” Dipper asked and gave Bill a dirty look.
“What?” Bill yelled in frustration, throwing his arms in the air.
“You hunted down and killed more than two dozen turkeys,” Dipper reminded him.
“Correction, Pine Tree,” Bill clarified. “I committed Turkey-Genocide. That is what Thanksgiving’s about, right? Eating turkey and destroying an entire people’s culture and way of life?”
“Bill, what do you think Christmas is about?” Dipper questioned carefully.
“Well, it’s a pagan and Nordic holiday celebrating that the shortest day of the year is over,” Bill began. “Then, Christians stole it and made it about their god given mortal form, even though, they had no idea when he was born, and then Santa Claus stole it, and now it’s all about him, so, I assume it’s a holiday about stealing?”
“No, Bill,” Mabel corrected with a smile. “Christmas might not hold much religious meaning to a lot people anymore, but at its core, it’s really a holiday about spending time with the people you care about and giving each other presents.”
“That’s it?” Bill sounded mildly disappointed.
“Well, there are other customs too, of course,” Mabel added. “And me and Dipper will be there to introduce you to them, right Dip-Dop?”
“This Christmas is definitely going to be a disaster,” Dipper sighed in resignation.