Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The salt was thick in the air as their boat came into dock. The sand was blindingly white on the beach and liberally dotted with shells, the water a turquoise blue as it lapped up against it. Outset Island grew before them, sundrenched and lazy and gentle. It was a hot day, the sky vast and blue and cloudless, with the sun beating down on them without mercy. Wild had long since swapped his tunic and trousers for his sarong and had jammed a sapphire circlet on his head for good measure, sighing in relief as the cool magic washed over him. Beside him, Wind was practically vibrating with excitement as he climbed out and onto the sand, barely stopping to tie their boat to the dock.

“Guys, c’mon!” he urged, reaching out to take Spirit’s hand and help him out of the boat. “Stop lagging!”

Wild chuffed, glad to finally be back on solid ground. Wind was undoubtedly an extremely accomplished sailor and the boat he had commandeered for them was more comfortable than expected, but it had still been four days at sea with none of them prepared. Legend especially had been unhappy with this arrangement and had spent the journey with his fists clenched and knuckles white, clearly grateful that they had only smooth seas. Sky hadn’t been much better, the sensation of the ship moving under him conflicted wildly with the messages of a steady surface that Fi sent him. The result had left him sick as a dog and he had shoved the sword into Wild’s slate until he started to feel better.

Which, evidently, was not as soon as they got onto dry land. Wild helped Sky out of the boat and his brother leaned on him miserably as he stumbled onto the beach, groaning.

“I hate this.” He mumbled into Wild’s fur. “Whoever invented boats should die. Sailing is an abomination. Wind is full of shit.”

Wild giggled as Sky flicked his wrist, summoning his cane from the bracelet he kept it stored inside. It looked like the Master Sword would have to stay in the slate for a little while longer.

Personally, Wild was glad to be back on Outset too. Much as he didn’t mind the rocking motion of the boat, there hadn’t been much onboard to distract from his thoughts. The whole Chain had been shaken by suddenly having to leave Age behind in his own era, and Wild was feeling it this more keenly than most.

He had gotten used to the idea of having a new little brother travelling around with him. He already missed the weight of Age leaning against him as they sat, had been looking forward to showing him around the other eras and introducing him to their friends. He had been so excited to help his brother come out of his shell.

But, apparently, Hylia said no.

Add on top of that the bizarre discovery of the Forgotten Temple and Wild’s mind was reeling.

So the Ancient Hero had been in the Shrine. Wild could understand wanting to restore the memories of the previous heroes, but there was precious little information in the temple about him, about the Ancient Hero himself. If he truly wanted to build something to help if he forgot again, then wouldn’t it be better to have some more personal details?

And where did the Aspect even come into it? What was the point in an outfit that made someone look like the hero?

Wild needed a break. His head felt like it was buzzing with too much information and not enough answers and everywhere he turned it just seemed to get more convoluted.

He wished Age was here. The kid was smart. Maybe he’d have had something to say.

Wild clutched the recipe book tight as he followed his brothers across the beach. He had read through it over and over on the way here, committing its recipes to memory. He had scarcely put it away for a moment, afraid that somehow if he did then he would lose it. The feel of the worn leather binding was comforting in his hands, grounding.

“Guys c’mon!” Wind urged.

Wild couldn’t help but laugh. It was almost an exact repeat of his last visit here, except then it had been him that Wind was dragging by the hand along the beach. This time it was Spirit, grinning and laughing and stumbling a little on his leg, not used to the uneven sand. In the blazing sun it was easie to see the physical differences between the twins; Spirit was so obviously paler than Wind, his freckles standing out to attention, and it was clear that if they didn’t get some suncream on him soon then he’d burn to a crisp.

“Whoaaaaa!” Spirit gasped for what seemed like the upteenth time. He’d been awestruck by the sapphire blue sea when they first arrived here, by the gleaming sand and tiny village, and had been hanging over the edge of the boat the whole approach to Outset.

And now, it seemed, he had discovered the pigs.

It really was just like Wild’s first time here. Spirit stared at the pigs in wonder- although he called them ‘moinks’, whatever that meant- and was delighted when Wind led him, splashing, in to meet them.

Wild purred as he moved closer, finally tucking his recipe book into the slate to save it from being splashed. The pigs were adorable and - yes, there he was! A black pig much larger than the rest - Pig-Link!

The massive pig snorted when it saw Wild and excitedly splashed over. Wild rumbled in delight- clearly the animal remembered who gave the best scritches around here. Well, in that case, Wild was more than happy to oblige, kneeling down in the sand and pouring all of his love onto this singular massive pig.

(He definitely didn’t glance up and take a peek at Twilight. And the rancher definitely wasn’t standing with his arms folded, glaring down at them. Wow. Wild guessed his Wolfie senses really were jealous!)

(Wild scratched pig link right between the ears just to check. Twilight's frown deepened. Amazing)

“Big brother!”

Wild whipped his head around to see a familiar mop of blonde hair dashing down the beach towards them. Aryll was beaming, blue dress flapping in the wind as she ran and hair coming loose from her braids.

“Big brother!” She shouted again and ploughed into Wind, who had turned around just in time to catch her in a flying hug. “I didn’t know you were coming home! I missed you!” She whined, burying her head in his hair.

Wind laughed and whirled her around. “I didn’t know I was coming either, silly!” He teased, setting her on the ground and pinching her nose. “Are ya happy to see me?”

“Don’t be dumb.” She pouted and then hugged him again.

“You’re dumb!” He teased back. “Cmon, are ya gonna say hi to the others or are ya just gonna sit there?”

Aryll stuck her tongue out. “I’m STANDING, dumb dumb!” She turned to the Chain and beamed. “Hi everyone! Hi Wild!”

Wild chuffed a laugh. So he, as the fluffiest brother, was still the favourite it seemed. He raised a hand and waved, purring. Now that he had met his own sister he could see how the two were different: his own Aryll was fairer skinned and darker eyed, and her hair was a shade darker. They couldn’t have been mistaken for the same person- but they could have been sisters.

“Hi Aryll.”

Aryll gasped. “That’s my name! Aryll! Did ya learn to sign it for me? Whoaaaa” she stopped dead in her tracks, staring.

Ah. So she had finally spotted Spirit.

The engineer stood awkwardly a few feet away. It was hard to tell if he was flushed from the attention or just overheating - he had long since shucked his hat and unrolled his overalls to the waist, showing a neat white vest top - but he was still clearly not used to the heat.

“Uh.” He said. “Hi.”

Wind grinned and loped over to him, throwing an arm around his shoulders. “Aryll, this is Spirit! He’s our new brother and my twin and he’s AMAZING.”

“Uh.” Spirit said again. “Hi Aryll. It’s nice to meet yo-AUGH!”

He broke off as Aryll leapt at him in a flying hug. Spirit, however, was not as prepared as Wind had been and immediately toppled over into the shallow water, both of them splashing everywhere.

“Gah!” Aryll shouted, “I’m all wet!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Spirit gasped, trying to drag himself to his feet and failing miserably.

Aryll, magnanimous as she was, giggled and jumped him for another hug, apparently not minding that they were both still sitting in the water.

“Hi Spirit!” She crowed. “What’s your favourite colour? Mines blue. Do you like cats? It would be weird living with Wild if you didn’t I guess. What about dogs? And pigs? Did you know pigs can learn tricks? And-“

“Aryll, lay off him.” Wind laughed, grabbing her and pulling her up. “Where’s grandma, is she at home?”

Aryll scowled at him as behind her, Spirit finally clambered to his feet.

“Yeah but she sent me outside cause she’s busy. Auntie Lulu came to visit.”

Wind’s eyes went wide. His face went pale and then scrunched up. He balled his fists.

“Ganon’s masculine man tits, Aryll!”

“WIND!”

Wind waved off the numerous shouted and signed protest at his frankly horrifying curse. Wild shuddered. Did he learn these somewhere or did he just come up with them off the dome? Honestly, he wasn’t sure he even wanted to know.

“Uh,” Sky said softly. “Who’s Auntie Lulu, Wind?”

Wind glared at nothing in particular while Aryll giggled.

“She’s an interfering old bat and she’s not our auntie.”

“She lives across the island.” Aryll supplied. “And she thinks she’s the best cook.”

“Which is dumb.”

“SO dumb!”

“She always acts like she’s better than Grandma. Used to always try and outdo her in the Annual Island Cookery Competition.Thought she gave up after the Lobster Bisque Incident, but if she’s here again-” he shuddered.

Wild hummed. Really? This was about a cooking competition? And what was that about lobster bisque?

Wind shook his head. “Nah. She wouldn’t. Not after the investigation. Wouldn’t show her face again if she had any sense. Cmon, guys, let’s go see what’s really going on!” he grinned and grabbed Spirit’s hand. “You gotta meet my grandma. You’re gonna love her.”

And with that they took off again. Aryll rolled her eyes but didn’t protest - instead she grabbed at Wild’s hand and asked him how things were back on Cat Island. Because of course. Wind had told everyone here that’s where he was from, hadn’t he? Honestly. Wild didn’t have the heart to tell the little girl that he was actually a hylian, not now, so he purred and gave her a thumbs up instead and offered her a piggy back ride. Kitty back ride. Whatever.

The house was just as Wild remembered it, the wide porch on stilts overlooking the water and the gentle, sloping roof. This time, though, they were not greeted at the door by the smiling old lady. Wild supposed that was fair - no one could possibly expect her to be constantly watching from the window just in case her grandson came home. Still, Wind seemed perturbed by the lack of greeting and frowned as he pushed open the door.

“Grandma?” he called, stepping into the shadowed hall. “You there? I’m home!”

A clattering sounded down the hall. Wild gently lifted Aryll from his shoulders and reached towards his slate, just in case. The clattering grew louder and-

“LINK!”

The door at the end of the hall flew open to reveal the very small, very elderly figure of Wind’s grandma. She was wearing a blue floral apron and had a rolling pin in one hand and a large block of… something in the other. There was flour streaked across her face and into her hair.

She beamed, dashing forwards

“Oh, Link, my sweet sweet boy!” she called, wrapping him into a hug. “Gah, you’ve grown! Look at you! And oh dear, you need a haircut, don’t you? Oh, come here, give me another hug!”

Wild rumbled softly. He loved this part of their journeys; going to people’s home eras and seeing their reunions. For Wind especially, who was so young, who still had a family and who loved them dearly, Wild understood how big a moment this was. And he was so glad that Wind didn’t seem to be growing into that all too common teenage phase of being mortified to show affection for his loved ones.

Finally he pulled away, his cheeks flushed and eyes sparkling with happiness. “Grandma, I want you to meet my new brother! This is Spirit and he looks JUST like me but if I never went out in the sun and only had one leg! Spirit, this is my grandma!”

Spirit, on the other hand, was (understandably) mortified by this description. He flushed the colour of a tomato as he stepped nervously forwards, awkwardly trying to hit his left leg behind the right, even though with his boot and trousers it was indistinguishable as a prosthetic.

“Link!” she scolded, cuffing her grandson around the ear before turning to beam at Spirit. “Oh, you do look like my Link, don’t you? Come here, give your grandma a hug, Spirit.”

Spirit, who hadn’t mentioned much about his family but had said that had neither parents nor grandparents left alive, stared at her. His lower lip wobbled and he apparently abandoned his nerves, giving a soft sob and running into her arms.

Wild rumbled again. It was good to be back.

“Oh dear,” the old woman said at last, straightening with a final ruffle of Spirit’s hair. “Oh, hello everyone. I’m so glad to see you all again, but I’m afraid I’m not a terribly good host today! Wind, Aryll, can you two be dears and see if you can scrounge up some tea? I’m afraid I’m all out of sorts.”

Aryll immediately nodded seriously and dashed off, but Wind stayed in place, eyes narrowed. “Aryll… Aryll said Auntie Lulu was here.”

The old lady’s face turned sour. “That hussy!” she hissed, brandishing her rolling pin. “You’d have thought she’d have learned her lesson after the priestess’ warning, but noooooo, she’s determined to enter the Island Festival Cooking Competition tomorrow!”

“Yeah!” Aryll shouted, poking her head around the kitchen door, suddenly teary. “Link nearly died last time!”

“Pig Link.” Wind qualified. “But still! But it’ll be fine, Grandma. Your soup will destroy her nasty cooking any day!”

His grandma looked away, and for some reason Wild’s stomach sank. What did that mean? Why did she look so sad? Wind’s grandma couldn’t be sad. He wouldn’t allow it!

“Yes, dear. Of- of course.” She patted his head again and then turned, wandering towards the kitchen. “Why don’t you take your friends to sit down and I- I’ll help Aryll with the tea…”

Wind looked between his grandma and his brothers and frowned.

“”You guys go outside.” he said, frowning after her. “I- I’m gonna find out what’s going on.”

The Chain exchanged glances but obediently shuffled out. It wasn’t their place to interfere when clearly there was a family thing going on. They would be there to help or offer support if needed, but they had to let Wind figure this out himself.

Concerned, they all sat themselves on the comfortable sets and pillows on the deck. The view of the sea was glorious from here, but this time they couldn’t bring themselves to be distracted by it. Instead they all sat, nervous and quiet, as they waited to see what was happening.

Information, at least, was soon forthcoming. Wind came out carrying a tea tray and with a furious expression on his face.

“Sailor?” Warriors probed gently. “You oka-”

Wind slammed the tray down.

“THE MOTHER FUCKING SOULLESS, SPITEFUL, BILGE DRINKING, SCUM SUCKING BALL OF PIG LINK’S SHIT! AND MINE TOO WHILE SHE’S AT IT! I BET YOU IF SHE EVER LEFT OUTSET EVERYONE’D MISTAKE HER FOR A FUCKING MOBLIN THAT’D BEEN LEFT ROTTING IN A DUNGEON FOR A MONTH!” He shouted suddenly, his voice echoing across the beach and over the sea. Nearby, a bunch of seagulls took flight. Wild wondered idly if there was a single person on the island who had not heard him.

“Uh.” Spirit said. “Everything alright, there, Wind?”

“No! Everything is not alright!” He spat, striding across the deck to glare out at sea. “The bilge drinking old HAG has stolen grandma’s sambal! She makes it herself! It’s a secret recipe! It takes months to gather all the spices for it! She uses it in her soup and it’ll still be GREAT without it cause grandma’s soup is the BEST but it won’t be the SAME!” he panted as he finished, his face red with the force of his (somewhat squeaky) rage.

Slowly, Time nodded. “You think… the old lady… Lulu… stole your grandmother’s spices?”

“IT’S SABOTAGE, OLD MAN! SHE SNUCK THROUGH THE BACK WINDOW LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT AND STOLE THE SAMBAL! The old hag knows she can’t win fair and square, so she’s sabotaging us instead!”

Wild exchanged a glance with Twilight. The rancher shrugged and whistled for attention.

“You sure she didn’t misplace it? Or lend it out?”

“Grandma would never lend out the family sambal!” he hissed. “This is a disaster!”

Wild nodded seriously. Yes, he knew, the right ingredient could make or break a dish, but even he had to admit that this seemed to be taking it a little far. That said, if someone broke into his slate and stole his hearty truffles…

“When is the competition?” he asked.

Wind sighed. “Tomorrow! She’ll never be able to make more on time, even if she could stay up all night! Which she can’t! She’s eighty seven, she needs sleep!”

Once again, Wild exchanged a glance with Twilight. Were they really going to do this? Really? All of them were heroes of courage, had saved their own worlds at least once apiece, had faced down the ultimate evil to ever exist and come out alive. Was this really going to be their latest quest?

Wild nodded. “We will find your grandma’s sambal.” he swore. “And find out who took it.”

Oh Hylia, what a mess.

-

Finding the missing sambal, it turned out, was not simply a case of looking in the cupboards in case the old lady had missed it somehow. Wind remained adamant that this ‘Auntie Lulu’ had taken it somehow, despite the fact that she was apparently the same age as his grandma and had recently had a hip replacement. So while others of the Chain went to ask around the town to see if anyone had been seen lurking around the house and still more investigated the nearby woods to look for ‘evidence’, Wild, Four, and Sky went in search of Auntie Lulu’s house.

The things he did for cooking.

The old lady, it turned out, really did live on the other side of the island. Her cottage was small and neat, perched on the beach and with windchimes made of shells hanging on the veranda. It was nice. Quaint. Wild could easily see himself relaxing here.

Still, he wasn’t here to relax. He had a thief to catch and the integrity of a cookery contest to save! The three of them nodded and climbed the steps on the veranda, knocking on the door. No one answered.

“Can you see anyone inside?” Asked Sky, who still felt a little rough from the sea and therefore had not yet asked for the sword back. “Or- a light? A light on?”

Wild shook his head. He was really the only one who could actually see inside, given Sky’s blindness and the fact that Four was simply too short to see over the sills.

Maybe they should have thought their group out better.

Oh well.

“Hello?” came a voice from behind them, curious and creaking with age. “Are you folks looking for me?”

They turned as one and looked down at the beach. A very elderly lady in a bright yellow dress and a slightly shabby sunhat was beaming up at them.

Wild and Four exchanged a glance.

“Are you…” Four began. “Are you Lulu?”

If possible, her smile widened and her eyes seemed to twinkle. “Why I reckon I am! But you fellas can call me Auntie. I don’t seem to know you boys - are you Link’s friends? I heard a rumour someone saw his ship comin’ in! Why don’t you fellas c’mon in, I’ll make y’all some tea.”

And with that, she swept past and somehow managed to carry the three of them in her wake, gently and pleasantly shepherding them around the side to a shaded part of the veranda.

“Come on in, sure, out of that sun. My, but you have a pale complexion, you’ll burn if you’re out there too long!” she patted Four’s shoulder as she sat them down on a plush loveseat. “Are you hungry? I have some dumplings I could-”

“No thanks!” Said Sky, perhaps a little too quickly. Wild couldn’t really blame him; ever since they’d arrived all they had heard about was the ‘incident’ from the last time she had entered the cooking competition.

She smiled at them and nodded, going instead to go and fetch them all some tea. Meanwhile, the three men sat there awkwardly, wondering what on earth they had gotten themselves into.

“Well at least this is a little different?” Sky offered. “You know. Going around, solving mysteries. S’kinda fun!”

Wild gave him an unamused look that he, of course, missed, but Four giggled.

“Never thought I’d end up solving the mystery of the village fete, but there we are.” the smith quipped.

Wild snorted as the old lady returned, clutching a tea tray with a plate of sugar biscuits.

“Now I know you all said you weren’t hungry, but it’d be rude of me not to offer.” she said cheerily as she set the tray down. Wild’s mouth watered. The biscuits looked absolutely delicious. “So! What brings three such lovely young men around to my humble little home?”

Wild and Four exchanged another glance. Sky furrowed his brows.

Fuck it, Wild thought. Someone had to ask the hard questions.

“We heard you were entering the Culinary Competition.” he explained as Four quietly translated what he was saying for Sky’s benefit.

“That I am, dearie!” she said, passing him a cup.

“Thanks” Wild set the cup on the arm of his seat. “We were visiting Wind’s grandma - she’s entering too.”

Auntie Lulu nodded. “Siti always enters, I’d be amazed if she didn’t. Making her soup again?”

Beside Wild, Sky glared into the air beside her face. “You know she is!” he burst out. “What else would she make? It’s her favourite dish! It’s her family’s favourite! She makes it every time!”

“Sky-” Four cautioned, putting his hand on his arm. “Sorry, Miss Lulu, we-”

“Auntie.”

“Sorry?”

“I told you, hun, you can call me Auntie!” she beamed.

“Oh. Okay, Auntie Lulu.” Four cringed. “Um - look, we’ve just come from Link’s Grandma’s house and - well, it looks like someone has broken in. And- and stolen something. It looks like they’ve stolen her special sambal.”

Lulu snorted, setting her own cup down and pushing back her hair. “And you all think I’m the one who took it.”

“No!” said Four.

“Well,” Signed Wild

“Yes.” said Sky.

The old woman tossed back her braids and snorted again, pushing herself to her feet and wobbling dangerously before she managed to steady herself.

“Ach. I’m too old for this. Alright, boys, you all follow me now. I want to show you something.” she shuffled towards the house. “Come on, now! Shoes off before you come in!” she pointed to a little rack by the door.

Sky wrinkled his nose. “What does she think we are?” he muttered as he kicked off his boots. “Cretins?”

Wild snorted and carefully removed his own sandals, strappy, decorative things that he had received when he first donned the aspect. Auntie Lulu, meanwhile, stood in the sliding doorway, her hands on her hips as she scowled at them.

“Well! Are you coming or not?” She chided. “Spirits of the sea, you’d think you three were the old ladies! Come on, come on, I don’t bite… those charges were dropped!”

Well that was comforting. Sighing, Wild let Sky take his arm and guided him into the cottage, Four trailing behind them. Worst to worst, he figured, they were three accomplished warriors, and Auntie Lulu was an extremely fragile looking old lady. It would be fine.

As long as she wasn’t an ache. Or some other kind of monster in disguise. Time had mentioned twin old-lady witches, right?

Maybe they shouldn’t be following a strange woman into her isolated cabin. Hmm.

Whatever. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, after all!

They followed her towards the back of the house and into what appeared to be the kitchen. It was small and well kept, a yellow gingham cloth on the small table and floral tiles on the walls. All of her crockery appeared to be vegetable themed and was uniformly ugly. Wild loved it.

The room was brimming with food and utensils and whatever was cooking on the stove smelled incredible. Wild really wished he had stopped to eat before he came out to this side of the island because now he was starving and despite Aunt Lulu’s reputation, her food smelled amazing.

“Ta-da!” She said, gesturing to a window covered by a messy brown curtain, completely out of keeping with the rest of the decor.

Wait. Wild rumbled and stepped closer, looking at her for permission before he reached forward and pulled it back.

It wasn’t a curtain. It was sackcloth, hastily pinned up to keep the elements out.

Because where there should have been a pane of glass was only an empty wooden frame, a few smashed shards still sticking out. Wild turned to Auntie Lulu and hummed in question.

“Last night.” the old lady said. “While I slept. Some scoundrel broke into my kitchen and stole my prize Palm Wine! How the hell am I supposed to cook my Prawn Surprise without it? You tell me that?”

Wild blinked. Looked from the window to the woman, who was now gesturing to a conspicuous gap in her liquor shelf.

Someone had clearly broken into both homes. And the only thing that they had stolen had been the key ingredient in each household’s competition entry.

Someone was committing sabotage alright. But not just against Wind’s grandma - it was against the whole competition.

Wild sighed. Here he was, Ladies and Gentlemen: Hero of the Wild, two time saviour of Hyrule. Destroyer of the Calamity and Slayer of Ganondorf.

And now he was going up against the Outset Island Ingredient Thief.

Hylia help them all.

Chapter Text

The window was broken from the outside. A piece of red cloth was stuck in one of the shattered shards of glass. The footprints outside of the window were only a little smaller than Sky’s, and Wild made sure to take a picture of them with a banana for scale.

None of them had a clue about what they were actually doing, but by Hylia, they were doing it! Wild wondered idly if they should bring Twi over here later. He was already ‘helping Wolfie’ see if he could track a scent trail from Grandma’s house, it might be useful to have him do the same over here. Who knew, maybe he’d lead them right back to like. Wild didn’t know. The evil lair of the ingredient thief?

This was ridiculous. It was just ridiculous.

As it was, they had all that they could learn from Auntie Lulu’s cottage. This side of the island was quiet and there were no neighbours that could be asked if they’d seen anything, so they all decided that it was best to head back and see what the others had learned.

And Auntie Lulu had decided that she was coming with them.

No, she would not be deterred. After all, she pointed out, she would be going over to the town side of the island the next day so she may as well go over now, especially now that she had ‘such big, strapping, strong lads’ to protect her on her trip.

Four in particular found this hilarious. He kept nudging Wild and saying ‘hear that? I’m big and strapping’ as he waggled his eyebrows. That is, he did until Sky reached over and patted his head, saying ‘you keep telling yourself that, diddums’.

Which of course made Four hiss with rage and shove him roughly away. And of course, Sky could not allow such an attack go without retaliation, and knocked his feet out from under him with his cane. Which, naturally, did not end the conflict in a tidy resolution. No, no, that wouldn't be like them at all.

“Right, you little-” Four growled as he rolled up his sleeves and launched himself at Sky.

“Little?” Sky teased “From you? HA!”

Aaaaaand they were wrestling on the ground while Wild and Auntie Lulu watched, unimpressed.

“Are you gon’ stop them?” she asked.

Wild sighed. “I probably should, shouldn’t I?”

They watched as Sky got Four in a headlock, only to find himself flipped onto his back with the smith pinning him down.

Auntie Lulu hummed. “They’re gon’ hurt themselves, you know that?”

“They probably deserve it.”

“Hmph! True enough, boy, true enough!”

They watched for a few more moments as Sky and Four tussled. Honestly, considering how well Wild knew both of their prowess in battle, it was kind of pathetic. And also deeply hilarious. With a sigh, he pulled out his slate and took a picture, and then swiped over to his inventory.

Ah. Yes. Perfect. This would do nicely.

Wild flexed his wrist and then aimed. Yes, he thought. This would stop the fight, alright.

Without warning, he threw the splashfruit at his warring brothers. It landed dead on target, soaking them both, and they sprang apart with a shriek. Both of them were drenched, hair clinging to their faces like wet rats as they glared at (or in Sky’s case, in the general direction of) Wild.

“What was that for?” Four demanded

“I’ll noogie you next, Wild!” Sky threatened, fumbling for his stick before it was politely passed to him by Four. “Just you watch me!”

Wild snorted and rolled his eyes.

“Boys!” Auntie Lulu chided. “Come on now, y’all can have a good old fight later, but right now your poor brother here is tryin’ to help an old lady get to town and solve a mystery! Shouldn’t you be savin’ your fightin’ spirit for the thief?!

Four and Sky at least had the decency to look embarrassed, Four scuffing the dirt at his feet and Sky fiddling with his cane.

“Sorry Wild.” Sky muttered.

“Yeah, sorry Wild.” Four agreed.

Wild could have burst out laughing. Sure, Wind and his family may have not liked Auntie Lulu, but if she could so thoroughly cow his brothers then she was alright in Wild’s book. The old woman herself looked particularly smug about this turn of events as she hoisted her canvas bag back onto her shoulder.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to carry that?” Wild asked. The old lady had insisted on bringing all of her ingredients for the competition with her (“No sense me making a whole trip back and forth again, now, is there dearie?”) and was now lugging it all on her shoulder.

She smiled and shook her head. “No, thank you, dearie, I may be old but I’m not dead yet!”

Welp. Okay. That was him told. But if she fell over under the weight of the thing then it wasn’t Wild’s fault. Shrugging, he set off along the trail with his two recalcitrant brothers trailing behind, only occasionally poking and prodding at each other as they went.

Idiots.

They had all agreed to meet up back at Wind’s grandma’s house, so they headed there, Auntie Lulu in tow. All of their brothers were already sitting out on the deck when they arrived, tired and sipping cold drinks.

Wind looked up as they approached and any fond greeting died on his lips when he saw who was with them. Instead his expression hardened.

“Come to gloat?” he hissed. “Or are you actually planning on giving back the sambal?”

“Wind.” Four sighed. “Don’t be such a tit.”

Auntie Lulu raised an eyebrow and smiled. “Oh child, you really have only gotten more spirited with age, ain’t ya?” she strode over and ruffled his hair, then her eyes landed on Spirit. “My, who’s this! When’d you get a twin, boy?”

Spirit blushed. “I’m Spirit.” he explained. “We- we met a few weeks ago. It’s just a coincidence.”

Auntie Lulu snorted. “Well… I dare say you’re the cuter of the two, ain’t ya, Spirit?”

“We have the same fucking face!” Wind shouted, outraged.

Auntie Lulu turned to him. “Nope! Yours is all screwed up and angry! You gotta relax, boy, else you’ll never be as cute as your lil twin here! Now, in answer to your question, it just so happens that someone broke into my home last night too and stole my prize palm wine! But mercy me, I somehow doubt your grandmother is spry enough to come in through my kitchen window in the dead of night, any more than I could come through hers!” she harrumphed, reaching down and grabbing a glass from the table, swigging it back.

Time looked over to Wild. “Is this true?” he asked.

Wild shrugged and nodded. “Broken glass everywhere, footprints leading into the woods.”

Time nodded and turned to Auntie Lulu, bowing slightly. “My apologies, elder, we mean no of-”

“Bah!” Auntie Lulu waved him off. “Enough grovelling, I'm eighty eight, I don’t have the time to waste on it! Where is Siti, anyway, I want to talk to her!”

Wind grumbled and flopped back down into his seat. “In the kitchen.” he mumbled. “Tryin’ to make a new sambal. Don’t have all the right spices though. It’s the wrong season.”

Lulu chuckled. “I’ll go see if I can help her, then. No, no, don’t get up - I know the way. I’ve been coming here since I was younger than you, you know!” she cackled and shuffled off into the house.

Wild frowned. It stood to reason that the two old ladies had known each other for a long time, he supposed. After all, Outset was a small community and everyone knew everyone. Had the two women perhaps once been friends? But what on earth had led them to fall out so very viciously?

He hummed and sat down, reaching for a cold drink. Aah, iced coconut. Delicious.

(And yes, he had realised since his last visit here that the plant that Wind called coconut was just a ripened version of his own palm fruit, but sue him, he had amnesia!)

Now alone, the Chain began to share what they had all learned in their day of investigations.

“Well.” Twilight began. “I - uh - brought Wolfie round the back of the house to sniff around.”

“How’d he get on the island?” Spirit asked.

Twilight blushed. Time, Hyrule, and Legend snickered. Wild hid a laugh.

“Dunno. Wolf magic I guess? Anyway I took him to sniff around and he followed a trail off into the woods, but the trail faded out as it looped back towards the town. Didn’t find anything else. No stash or anything.” she shrugged.

“Well that’s something.” Sky said. “We know the thief headed back to town. Is Wolfie still around?”

Spirit gasped. “Yeah! Can I meet him?”

“Uuuh-”

“We’d like him to check out Lulu’s house.” Wild explained. “Do you think you could find him to check it out in the morning?”

Twilight blushed even deeper and nodded. “Uuh sure. Yeah, I can try. Don’t think he’s around right now, though. Sorry, Spirit.”

“Awww.” Spirit sighed. “I really wanna meet him.”

Wild frowned for a moment, looking at him. The engineer had said before that he knew a lot of secrets from his time investigating the heroes in his own era. Did he… know about Twilight?

That was a thought to keep on the backburner.

“Well.” Warriors picked up the conversation. “We had an ask around the town, but no one saw anyone unusual or suspicious poking about. Well. Aside from us, I suppose. It’s a small island, everyone knows each other and no one really questions each others’ business, I guess. But it doesn’t sound like anyone has been acting particularly suspicious.”

“Though everyone seemed pretty alarmed that Auntie Lulu’s entering the competition again.” Legend added. “No one would say why, though. Just that the ecosystem’s only just started to recover after last time.”

Wild frowned and turned to Wind. “What the hell happened last time?”

Wind shuddered. “Many things.” he said, and refused to elaborate.

Whatever.

Hyrule hesitantly raised a hand for attention. “I met another old lady who is entering. Mrs Puteri. She is very nice and had nothing stolen, but has arthritis in both hips and could not have made it even to this house, let alone Auntie Lulu’s to steal. Also she was with her family all night. Daughter, son in law, grandchildren.” he pulled a face at that last one, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

Legend snorted. “Yeah, how such a nice old lady produced such a stinker of a grandson is beyond me. Kid spent most of his time out in the barn but when we did meet him he was the most obnoxious little shit I’ve ever seen. And believe me, when I say he’s a stinker, I mean it. Kid needs a damn bath. Or at least to wipe his damn nose.”

Hyrule nodded seriously. “At risk of psoriasis.” he added. “And just gross.”

Time sighed.

“So to sum up: Auntie Lulu was also robbed in the night. No one was suspicious around the town as far as anyone can tell. And there’s a third entrant but she’s a literal ray of sunshine who can hardly walk and has her entire family as an alibi?”

They all nodded. Yeah, that was pretty much it. Not terribly helpful, but Wild supposed that even a lack of clues was a clue.

“Oh!” he remembered suddenly. “We found a scrap of red cloth in the broken window! Maybe they tore their clothes?”

Time nodded. “Okay, someone who might have been wearing red and tore it. Great. Okay. We- I guess we can work with this.”

He didn’t look very sure of himself, but then, Wild couldn’t blame him. None of them had a clue what they were doing after all.

Hylia help them.

They sat there for a while, sipping their drinks and discussing theories and possible plans of action as the sun slowly set over the sea, painting the sky with vibrant shades of magenta and gold and violet. They could all hear raised voices coming from the kitchen of the house as the two old ladies got into what sounded like a vicious argument.

Several times, Wind made to get up and go inside, and each time either Time or Warriors put a hand on his arm and he sat again. As the sun finally dipped below the horizon, the voices fell silent and both women walked out onto the deck.

And? They were? Both smiling?

“Oh boys.” Wind’s grandma chuckled at all of their expressions. “You’re all so fearfully serious!”

Auntie Lulu cackled. “Look at them all! They think we about to rip each other’s hair out! Oh, boys, I’ve known Siti and she known me since we were five years old. And both she and I have… strong personalities.”

“Lulu’s a damn dirty troublemaker who thinks she knows better than everyone else.”

“Ah, and Siti’s a self righteous prig who couldn't be holier-than-thou if she were a goddess herself!”

Wind’s Grandma snorted. “Lulu and I been fightin’ for a long time, but we been friends for longer.

“I was maid of honour at her wedding!”

“And I helped her hide the evidence back when we were in school!”

“AHAHA! I’d forgotten about that!”

The two women cackled together and Wind’s grandma put an arm around Auntie Lulu’s shoulders.

“Someone’s out there tryin’ to sabotage our cookin’. Seems like maybe they want to see us fall out even more. Can’t think of a better way to move on than to let sleeping dogs lie and carry on. Besides.” she snorted. “I’m still a better cook than you, Lulu, with or without my sambal. And I ain’t never committed biological warfare.”

“Those charges were dropped, Siti, as well you know!” she retorted. “Ain’t my fault that bottle was mislabelled. I’d have won if it weren’t, I maintain it! But like you say, bygones and water under bridges and all that. I have a gift for you.”

She shuffled over to where she had dumped her bag of groceries and rummaged about for a moment before saying ‘aha!’ and pulling out a jar of some sort of red substance.

“It may not be your family sambal, Siti, but I thought you might want to use some of mine instead.”

Oh. The Chain stared, wide eyed, at Auntie Lulu, and then turned to see how Wind’s Grandma would respond. The old lady was smiling, tears springing into her eyes.

“Oh, Lulu. You know, I have a few bottles of palm wine, I’m sure I wouldn’t miss one if you wanted to take it?”

“I reckon you wouldn’t.” Lulu agreed, passing over the jar. “So! Now we’ve gotten all that soppy shit over with, how about we cook these boys up some dinner, eh? Seems to me like we’ve had them running all over the island all day tryin’ to find our burglars, maybe they deserve a meal made by two cookin’ champions.”

Wind’s Grandma snorted.. “Only one champion here, Lulu, and it ain’t you. But that sounds like a fine idea.”

Not long after, the two old ladies reappeared from the house with plates and plates of fresh food: fish dumplings and satay and bowls of rice steaming in the evening sun. It smelled heavenly and even Wind had to admit that the portions made by his Auntie Lulu were actually pretty good. Wild didn’t know what had happened last time she cooked at the island competition, but it really must have been a one off incident.

The air felt much lighter now that the old women had talked it out and set their differences aside. From what Wild could gather from their conversation, the two had been best friends since childhood and had fallen out a few years ago over…. Actually, neither of them could quite remember what they had fallen out over, but they both agreed that it had been a very valid reason and completely a reasonable reason not to talk for a decade at a time. Totally.

The two of them clearly knew each other better than sisters, though. Lulu maintained that she would win the competition the next day, and Wind’s Grandma cackled at that, telling her that even without her special sambal, there was no way she was losing her crown, heartily backed up by Wind and Aryll.

Neither of them could think of anyone who would want to sabotage the competition - as Auntie Lulu said: “It’s a cookin’ competition, hun, and the only prize is braggin’ rights. Why would anyone want to cheat?”

And when they were asked about Mrs Puteri, they both scoffed and laughed. Apparently the idea of Mrs Puteri getting up to anything even slightly illicit was about as likely as Outset suddenly lifting from the sea and floating through the air.

Still, it was a nice evening after their long day. They all sat back and relaxed, passing around one of Wind’s Grandma’s bottles of palm wine and snacking on freshly made coconut sweets. It was a gentle way to spend the night, and by the time they all drifted off, they were ready for another day.

-

The next day they all awoke bright and early. Storm clouds were threatening from out at sea, so Wild and Twilight headed out at first light to go and see if they could find a scent to track over at Auntie Lulu’s house before it was washed away by the rain. Spirit was awake too, and when he saw that they were preparing to go he sidled up to Twilight and took him aside for a moment.

By the time Twi came out to join Wild on his hike across the island, Spirit was at his side and ready with his boots on and a bag on his back, grinning.

“He fuckin knows!” Twi sighed in exasperation. “His weird historian buddy had it all written down! I can’t believe it, can’t have a damn secret around here anymore!” he was grinning as he signed, though, and ruffled Spirit’s hair. The engineer beamed.

Wild rolled his eyes. “Come on then.” he said, and they headed out together.

When they got to the cottage at the other side of the island, Spirit watched in sheer awe as Twilight rolled his eyes and transformed into Wolfie before his eyes.

“WHOAAA!” he said. “Twi, you’re so fluffy!”

Wolfie gave a huff, clearly trying to look put out and slightly ferocious, but not quite managing to mask how pleased he was by the compliment. He obligingly padded over and let Spirit carefully stroke his side before burying himself in his fur.

“This is the best day of my life!” came his voice from deep inside the floof. “Thank you Twilight!”

Wolfie huffed again and wriggled away, nuzzling briefly at his face before turning and trotting off towards the house.

Wild turned to Spirit. “Guess it’s time to get to work, kid.”

Spirit sighed, watching him go. “I have been blessed.” he whispered.

They followed him behind the house and watched as Wolfie snuffled around the footsteps outside the broken window. Then all at once he bristled and took off into the lush woodland nearby, following the footsteps until they vanished and then beyond, looping around and onto the path back to town. They ran after him, following him along the cliffside path before finally he came to a halt. He sniffed around for a few more moments and then huffed, transforming back to a hylian.

“Trail drops off.” Twilight signed as he straightened. “Nothing suspicious, just these things drift away. Can’t follow them forever.”

Wild nodded. That made sense, especially up here on the cliffs where the wind was blowing. Likely the scent trail would be gone entirely in a few more hours, whether it rained or not.

“Awww.” Spirit sighed. “So we can’t find them then?” he asked

Twi shrugged, smiling fondly at him. “Depends! It was a… pretty distinct smell, so if I come across it again I'm pretty sure I'll recognise it.”

“Even as a hylian?” Wild asked.

Twi pulled a face. “Maybe? I can still smell better like this than most hylians, so it’s possible.”

“That’s so cool.” Spirit said. “Twi, you’re so cool.”

Wild made an aggrieved coughing sound and Spirit turned to him, grinning. “You’re so cool too, Wild, don’t worry.”

Wild nodded. Good. That would do.

Anyway, that was their job done. Whoever the thief was, they had circled through the woods before heading back towards town, just like in Wind’s Grandma’s house. So, whoever they were, if they were to be caught, it seemed most likely that it would be in town. Where, at that moment, preparations for the competition were underway.

The festival was in full swing by the time they got there. Dozens of stalls were set up along the beach, selling everything from fried snacks to new outfits to locally made arrowheads. Nearby a group of musicians were merrily playing a tune, and at the top of the beach an area was cordoned off with three workstations, ready for the cooking competition. The three of them headed over to the cooking area, where Wind was standing at his grandma’s side, speaking both with her and with Auntie Lulu. After last night’s heart to heart he seemed to have forgiven her wholeheartedly, and was chatting to her a mile a minute about the different foods that he had tried while travelling.

“Boys!” Wind’s Grandma greeted as they approached. “Did you find anything around at the cottage?”

“Spirit!” Wind whined. “I can’t believe you went without me! I wanted to see Wolfie too, he hasn’t been around for ages!”

Spirit smirked. “Maybe he’ll come over later.” he said. “Who knows!”

Wild and Twilight waved to greet the two old ladies and the Rancher shrugged. “They looped back towards town, but I don’t know more than that. Sorry, Miss Lulu.”

Auntie Lulu whacked him lightly with her teatowel. “I told you, boy, call me Auntie!” She chuckled.

Wild chuffed. “He’s from the country, he calls everyone Miss. Even us.”

Lulu chuckled and shook her head. “Oh well. Thanks for trying anyway, boys. I must say, I know I get on the wrong side of people all the time - it’s my personality and habit of insulting them to their back and also to their faces, you see.”

“I’d never have guessed.” Wind’s Grandma cut in.

“Well, there it is.” Auntie Lulu. “Plenty of people don’t particularly like me, but I can’t see why anyone would like to sabotage dear Link’s lovely grandma. It’s just bizarre.”

“I can’t fathom it.” Wind’s Grandma shrugged. “Well, I’d better get to my own table. Looks like Puteri’s arriving now, we’d better get ready to start.”

She nodded to the side, where the oldest woman Wild had ever seen - aside, of course, from Impa - was hobbling up to her table. She was absolutely ancient and seemed hardly able to carry her small basket of goods, having to stop every few paces to hand something else to the young teenager slumping along behind her.

“Ew!” Aryll exclaimed. “Stinky Zill! Gross!”

Ah, so this was the unfortunate grandson. He certainly didn’t look very happy to be at the competition. Or the festival. Or outside at all, and repeatedly rolled his eyes and groaned loudly as he helped his grandmother set up her table, nose running all the while. Wild wondered why he was even here if he so clearly didn’t want to help out. He supposed that he must have been instructed to help out by his parents, because he was obviously not in his element.

The wind shifted, the breeze carrying past the teenager and over to their group.

“Gods of the sea!” Wind exclaimed. “Ugh, what is that smell?”

Wild grumbled, but was polite enough not to comment on the young man’s unfortunate body odour out loud - but wait! Beside him, Twilight had gone stock still, his eyes wide.

“Twi?” he asked

Twilight turned to him in excitement. “That’s the smell!” he signed. “The thief! That’s him! I’d know it anywhere!” he looked over at the boy, who couldn’t have been older than fifteen at the very most, currently scowling in distaste at the gingham tablecloth that his grandma was cheerfully setting her cutting board out on.

Well. That - was something.

“What do we do?” Wild asked.

Twilight grinned and turned to the two old ladies, who had been watching their exchange curiously.

“When does the competition start?” he asked. “I have a plan.”

-

It was a stupid plan. Overly complicated and melodramatic. They had to cut a solid seventy per cent out, including, to Twilight’s dismay, the bucket of soap suds, the net, the pile of coconuts ready to fall, and the lure of a false ghost that was actually some cleverly thrown shadows on a wall.

Wild had no idea where he got these things from.

But still, the plan was ready to go. The main thing was to get him away from the festivities. It was decided that Wind was far too likely to get angry and blow the plan, so they sent Spirit be the one to try and get him away. Yes, the engineer had an unfortunate habit of being aggressively cheerful and upbeat, but he determinately pasted a scowl onto his face - not terribly convincingly, but it would do for now - and sidled up to the boy and his grandma.

Wild didn’t hear exactly what he said, something along the lines of how sick he was of being dragged to these things and wished he could just blow off. Zill seemed to agree with this and not long after the two of them exchanged glances and sidled off away from the competition, towards the trees at the edge of the beach.

Well done, Spirit! You’ve a bright future as a spy ahead of you!

That was the hardest part. The Chain were waiting in the trees, and when the two boys walked into their small clearing, they ringed around them, blocking off any possible route of exit.

“What the f-” Zill began to say. “Who the hell are you guys? What’s going on?”

“We’ve come to have a little talk, young man.” Time said in his very best Dad Voice. Wild wasn’t even the intended recipient of the voice and he could feel himself quailing at its use.

Zill took a step backwards, looking into Time’s extremely disappointed face. He clenched his jaw and tilted his chin up, glaring.

“You don’t know me.” he said. “Piss off!”

“No.” Time said, which Wild thought was an excellent response. “Look, Kid-”

“I’m not a kid.”

“Sure, kid, sure.” Time said. “Look, we know you broke into Siti and Lulu’s houses the other night.”

Zill blinked, mouth opening and closing like a fish. His eyes were wide. “...no I didn't.” he said very unconvincingly.

“Yeah you did, Zill.” Wind called. “Don’t be a dingus, everyone knows you did.”

The boy flushed scarlet. “N- no they don’t! Do they?”

“I mean.” Four said. “We all do. And Lulu and Siti do. And I feel like Lulu’s a bit of a gossip, you know?”

“Why’d you do it, Zill?” Wind demanded. “You don’t even like the festival! I don’t know why you even came at all! Why’d you steal my grandma’s sambal?”

They all turned to Zill, who had flushed even redder and was staring at the ground. He shrugged. “...figured if grandma won this year she wouldn’t need to keep coming back..” he mumbled. “Then I wouldn’t have to go with her. I wasn’t tryin’ to do harm, really! I didn’t even want to break the window, I thought it’d be open, I just panicked! I really didn’t want to upset anyone.”

Warriors rolled his eyes and laughed. “Hylia above. Okay, kid, sure. I tell you what - you tell me where the sambal and the palm wine are. We’ll get them back to their owners. And then you and I can have a chat about asserting yourself in a healthy manner. Okay?”

Zill blinked. Time chuckled. “I’d take him up on that if I were you. He has experience dealing with idiot teens. No offence.”

“None taken.” Zill stammared. “I think. A-aren’t you mad?”

“Yes.” Wind said.

“Nah.” Time cut over him. “Disappointed, more like. But we’ll give the wine and the sambal back to the old ladies and maybe we can impress on them not to tell anyone… just this once. Yeah?”

Zill nodded viciously. “Sounds good. They- they’re in the shed outside my house. Under the hay.”

Time nodded. “Okay. Wind, do you know the way? You only have nine minutes and twenty six seconds until the competition begins-”

“On it!” Wind said and sprinted off. “ZILL I’M STILL MAD AT YOU!” he shouted over his shoulder as he went.

Well, that had all been very entertaining. Zill quailed under Time’s still-disappointed gaze and seemed relieved when Warriors planted a hand on his shoulder and steered him away for a chat. Time shook his head.

“I’m going into town, see if I can’t get a replacement window for Auntie Lulu.” he muttered and then glanced over at Wild and Twilight. “Good job, boys. You did good.”

They both preened.

“Congratulations, detective!” Wild signed, bowing with a flourish.

“And congratulations to you too, detective!” Twilight bowed back, grinning.

“You are both so weird.” Spirit grinned, which frankly, they couldn’t argue with.

Grinning, the Chain returned to the festival to see if Wind would make it in time with the ingredients.

He did, of course. No one ever really doubted him. He sprinted by just as the mayor was giving an opening address, dumping the bottle of palm wine on Auntie Lulu’s table and then presenting his grandma with her jar of sambal with a smile. She beamed at him and pulled him into a hug, then shooed him off so that she could cook in peace.

In the end it was a tight competition.

Well. Maybe not in the case of Mrs Puteri, who made a nice enough rendang that Wild would have been happy to eat normally, but which just wasn’t up to the level of skill shown by Auntie Lulu and, of course, by Wind’s Grandma.

Auntie Lulu’s ikan bakar was incredible - though Wild still couldn’t figure out where the palm wine had come into the recipe. Maybe she had just wanted to drink it while cooking? But no, she had been adamant that it was integral to the cooking process.

Still. When Wild tasted her entry he feared for a moment that she would win. The fish was delicious, unlike anything he had ever tasted, and it seemed that the village might finally forgive her for whatever the hell had happened last time.

But then he tasted Wind’s Grandma’s laksa soup. And he knew who would win. Who would always win.

And then, it turned out, there was one last surprise in store. Because Wind was a menace and couldn’t keep his mouth shut, and because Outset Island was where he first coined the idea of ‘cat island’. So the sailor, devious little shit that he was, had managed to tell the Mayor that Wild was the Prince of Cat Island, and Wild suddenly found himself as the guest of honour appointed to shake the hand of the winner.

Because nothing could ever be easy. Or simple.

Whatever. If Wild was supposed to be a prince, then he was going to be a prince. He donned his diamond circlet, straightened his sarong, and shook Wind’s Grandma’s hand with as much gravitas and as serious a ‘meow’ as he could manage.

The ten heroes of Hylia, ladies and gentlemen.

Wild wouldn’t swap them for the world.