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Akira was careless.
He never lets it get this bad.
After doing this three times, he thought he'd developed a method to it all.
As soon as they get the keywords, Akira takes a few days to resupply, upgrade equipment and build any tools that he deems necessary for the palace. Afterwards, he calls out a meeting so he can get everyone's opinion on what their best approach would be, always ending it with them hanging out for a few hours so no one is stressed going into the mission the next day.
Akira prefers to use the first day in a palace to get a feeling on what they're up against: how strong the shadows are, any noticeable traps or obstacles, anything that demands a change in cognition from their target; it's mostly recon work. He makes it a point to never push too hard on the first infiltration, but he likes to do this step as soon as possible.
Finally, when all of these are dealt with, he tries not to rush the mission so as to not exhaust anyone; they take long breaks between infiltrations, he hangs out with anyone that could fit Akira into their schedule, and he restocks as needed.
For as much as Makoto likes to rag on them on how unorganized they were, Akira had his methods, and they had worked in their favor up to this point.
But then he started to slip.
It wasn't all that noticeable at first.
He started sleeping in, not needing to wake up early for school. That wasn't too out of the ordinary for Akira, he never was a morning person after all. But he just kept waking up ever so slightly later every day, affecting his sense of time. Morgana had to start reminding him of plans he had made with his friends so he wouldn't be late to them.
Even so, he took the opportunity summer vacation presented him with to hang out with them, to the point where he was being pulled in every which direction, barely any free time left to himself.
He didn't mind this part too much, happy to help his confidants or just spend time relaxing.
But then their situation with Medjed and its graveness slowly started dawning on Akira.
Sure, they had a good lead with Futaba, but nothing could guarantee that she would help them when all was said and done. They had no way of directly retaliating against the organization, so Futaba really was their only hope.
More so, Futaba herself, the outcome of her change of heart and her relationship to Sojiro didn't aid in easing Akira's aggravating stress.
And so, his mind felt increasingly scattered, and he had trouble keeping up the same rhythm he had with the other 3 palaces; it was only a matter of time until their infiltrations started turning out messy and disorganized.
The only time Akira could spare inside the Velvet Room was either late into the night, or during heist days. He preferred to not waste everyone's time by taking away precious hours that could be used securing an infiltration route, so he mostly traded sleep for getting everything he needed from Igor prior to meeting with his teammates.
Unfortunately, this made him tired. Nothing too alarming that would put everyone else in danger. But Akira can admit that he sometimes took too long calling the shots during battle, Makoto having to jump in with a suggestion when the silence went by a bit too long, or Morgana having to discreetly guide him in the right direction when Akira makes a wrong turn in the palace.
All things considered, these were just small hiccups. They're manageable.
But Akira's decisions all come to a head when they end up fighting Mot.
It ambushed them just as they were leaving the palace for the day. Akira was planning the rest of the week in his head and didn't sense the shadow that was just around the corner.
Now forced into battle and out of his head, Akira belatedly realizes something.
The whole team isn't doing too good.
Everyone looks exhausted, scrambling for any trace of stamina they might have left to at least protect themselves against the shadow's advances.
Akira is just about to give the order to retreat as soon as possible when Ryuji gets hit with a pretty heavy hit. He falls to the floor disoriented, unable to get back up.
They have no time to react and help him, for the shadow is quicker than them and reaches Ryuji's side faster, its arm rapidly shooting out from its coffin to grab harshly at the base of Ryuji's neck. A warning.
Akira tries not to look too closely at Ryuji's panicked expression for fear of making his composure crumble. He awaits the shadow's next move with baited breath, hand close to his gun and ready to draw it out if the shadow so much as moves one single finger.
Instead, Mot simply turns to him, and says, "A revival bead for your friend's life."
Akira despises when the shadows do this. Regardless, he's learned to just give them what they ask for. Nothing good comes from denying them in this scenario. "Mona, give it what it wants."
He can hear Morgana rummaging through the supplies, never once letting his eyes drift from where they're locked onto Mot's and Ryuji's point of contact. Eventually, the sound stops.
Nothing happens for a few seconds, until Morgana gravely calls out, "Joker..."
Hesitantly, he answers back, "Yes?"
"We're all out."
Dread floods Akira. He turns towards Morgana. "What do you–"
"Such shame," he hears the shadow say before he can finish. A mortifying squelching sound followed by a loud thud makes him freeze.
Ryuji is laying limply on the floor.
"Joker, quick!" Ann shouts, before his vision gets filled with smoke. The distinct smell of their smoke bombs manages to jumpstart his mind back into action. He makes a dash for Ryuji's body while the team distracts the shadow.
When he has his best friend securely in his arms, he gives them the sign to escape.
They run the short distance they had left and successfully reach the entrance to the pyramid, thankfully devoid of any danger.
Akira slumps to the floor, careful to lay Ryuji's unmoving body down. The only sound that can be heard for a while is their ragged breathing, completely drained and exhausted.
After his heart has slowed down and he's able to breathe without gasping for air, Akira fully focuses all his remaining energy on Ryuji's situation.
It's while he's checking for bruises that he notices.
Ryuji isn't breathing.
It's not the first time this has happened. Everyone here has unfortunately had an encounter that left them in just a state.
But Akira always made sure to have a plan in case it happened; medicine, a quick spell, anything.
This time though, they don't.
"Mona?" he calls out shakily, "Are you able to revive Ryuji?"
Suddenly, he can feel four pairs of eyes on him. With everything that happened back there, they must also not have realized that Ryuji wasn't just knocked out during the fight.
The stretching silence is all the answer he needs.
He lifts his head. "Panther? Queen?"
Ann's eyes simply widen at the realization of how grave the situation really is, while Makoto looks away guiltily, saying, "If he's unconscious, there isn't much healing can do for him right now..."
Akira is scrambling on what to do now. He also has no healing personas, thinking that they could get by with what they already had.
He now realizes just how much he let himself go these past few weeks.
Desperate, Akira stands up abruptly in the direction of the glowing blue door just a few steps away.
As he approaches it, Justine steps in front of it, shaking her head.
Akira takes a step back. He'd never been denied entrance to the Velvet Room before. Pushing the confusion aside, he looks pleadingly at the ward. "Please."
She boredly stares back at him, face betraying no emotion. "I am sorry, inmate, but I cannot interfere directly with your path towards rehabilitation."
What? "To hell with—"
"I believe there are more urgent matters you should be attending to, other than to fruitlessly argue against my master's orders." Justine interrupts him, nodding her head in his friends' direction. They had gathered around Ryuji, but were staring confused at Akira.
He turns back to Justine. "I just need to get inside. It won't be long."
A slither of something passes through her face, but she quickly covers it up with her cap. "There's truly nothing I can do, inmate. It's beyond my control."
He stares at her, perplexed at what he's hearing. What does this have anything to do with his rehabilitation?!
"Joker." Yusuke calling out to him is what makes him fully turn away from the door. "What now?"
Right. He's the leader. He calls the shots here.
Akira takes a deep breath and tries to think clearly. There's nothing they can do for Ryuji in the Metaverse. Their best bet would be the real world. "We leave."
Ann stands up from where she was crouching next to Ryuji, checking for any sign of a pulse. "But– we've never exited the Metaverse with anyone unconscious before! We don't know what can happen!"
"It... should be fine, I think," Morgana pipes up, "If Ryuji was truly dead, he would have transformed back. The fact he's still in his thief outfit must mean his persona is keeping him alive somehow." He looks back at Ryuji. "I'm not sure for how long, though."
Makoto and Yusuke each take one of Ryuji's arms over their shoulders and lift him up. "Then we need to hurry and get him to a hospital," she says, nodding her head at Morgana. He nods back before transforming into a car.
As they're piling onto the van, Yusuke remarks, "We might not have the time."
Akira silently agrees, on edge about the long train trip they would have to take to reach the nearest one. "Let's take him to LeBlanc. I'll ask Takemi to come over as soon as we get out," he says.
"...Very well," Yusuke responds, sitting down next to him, Ryuji in the middle.
"Everyone hold tight," Makoto warns before stepping fully on the gas and driving them towards the exit as quickly as possible.
Akira looks over at Ryuji's unmoving face, one that is normally so effortlessly expressive, and tries to hold back tears. He grabs Ryuji's hand, lowers his head to it and mumbles apologies to him. The other thieves are kind enough not to mention it.
It feels like an eternity before they're able to exit the Metaverse, but as soon as they do, Akira's reaching for his phone and dialing Takemi's number. They all rapidly make their way out of the Sakura residence, and just as they reach the gate, Makoto, who's carrying Ryuji with the help of Yusuke, gasps, "He's breathing!"
Yusuke adds, "Although, it's very faint."
Akira will take anything over Ryuji being dead. That hope is what manages to keep him calm enough to explain the situation clearly enough to Takemi, who thankfully agrees to come.
Everything is a blur from there. The adrenaline and the tiredness make themselves known as soon as Ryuji is placed onto his bed and into the hands of the doctor, making him unable to pick up on anything worthwhile; only bits and pieces of Takemi's and the others' conversation make it past the mind fog.
Even so, he notes that when Takemi exits the café, nobody else follows after her.
No one's willing to leave right now; to leave him.
"Akira," he can hear Ann call to him, "She said Ryuji should wake up in a few hours, but if he doesn't, we need to take him to a hospital."
He only nods at her, going back to staring at the boy that's currently occupying both his bed and all his thoughts.
The others don't say anything else either, and they all end up sitting in silence for a long while, waiting with bated breath for any movement coming from Ryuji.
The silence is broken when Ann, hesitantly, asks, "What's going on, Akira?" She frowns. "You've been all over the place lately."
Akira is honestly ashamed of himself for letting it get to this point. Unable to look her in the eyes, he hangs his head and somberly says, “I’m sorry.”
He winces when Morgana elaborates, “He’s been running himself thin for no reason! He hasn't stopped the whole summer and it's obviously affecting him! Honestly, Akira, you should know better than–”
Morgana can’t finish venting out his frustrations, because suddenly they hear a groan come from the other corner of the room.
All eyes leave Akira, focusing on Ryuji who’s sitting up, a hand to his head. “Ah, shit– my head." He looks around and his eyes widen. "Wha– When did we get to LeBlanc?”
A beat passes before they all crowd the bed, a cacophony of ‘Ryuji’s and ‘I’m glad your okay’s filling the attic. Akira immediately latches onto him, squeezing him as tightly as he can without upsetting Takemi’s work, apologies spilling from his mouth.
Ryuji rubs his back in a tentative comforting motion. “Uhhh, why are you apologizing?”
Akira lifts his head, and for the first time in an hour, manages to say something other than apologies, “You…” He stares intently at Ryuji, vision slightly blurry. “You died, Ryuji, and we had no way of bringing you back. I’m sorry, it’s my fault, I should have checked if we still had–”
“Woah, hey, Akira!” Ryuji grabs his shoulders and pushes him back to look at him properly. "It's not your fault. We all know the risks of fighting in the Metaverse, sometimes things just go wrong."
Akira shakes his head. "No. I was reckless and that almost cost you your life." He lowers his head to Ryuji's shoulder. "It should've never happened."
Ryuji sounds incredulous when he asks, "Reckless?"
Makoto answers for him, "According to Morgana, Akira hasn't been taking care of himself, and that's led to some mishaps during the mission."
"Akira..."
"I know," he speaks into Ryuji's shirt, fists clenching around the fabric, unable to face him, "I know, it's just– It's my job to take care of everything. And it's worked so far, everything was under control–"
"Until it wasn't," Makoto interrupts.
Akira can't really argue with her. He agrees.
She continues, "I understand your position, but you know you can rely on us too, right?"
"Yeah!" Ann interjects, sitting down next to him, "Sure, you're our leader, but that doesn't mean you have to do everything." She pats his back a couple times. "Let us help out!"
"If I may," Yusuke intervenes, "I will gladly take over the staking out of requests." At the confused glances he gets, he elaborates, "I spend a lot of time people-watching, so I simply see no reason why Akira should take up his time with it too, if he does not enjoy it very much."
Ryuji nods his head. "I can send you the important requests, dude! I'm always checking the site for any that escapes us, anyway."
"Oh!" Ann turns to Akira, smiling, "I spend a lot of time at the shopping mall just browsing, so you can keep me updated on what needs to be restocked, send me a list and I'll take care of it!"
Morgana jumps up onto the bed and buts his head against Akira's. "It's easy enough for me to keep track of inventory and what needs upgrading, seeing as I'm always around you."
"In that vein, I don't mind managing our earnings and keeping a separate fund for anything regarding the thieves' affairs. No need to stress over spending your own money," Makoto adds further.
Ryuji ruffles his hair affectionately, making him lift his head. "See? We got you."
Akira contemplates his friends' offer.
It's terrifying not being in control once again. Even the thought scares him.
But he can't deny the feeling of utter relief that passes through him at the notion of not having to work to the point of exhaustion anymore.
He can trust his friends, he knows this. They're every bit as experienced with the Metaverse as he his.
"...Alright. That would be a big help." He turns around to fully face the others. Looking around at their determined faces, he manages a heartfelt and sincere, "Thank you."
"Don't mention it," Ann says, but quickly goes, "No, actually, please do mention when you need help." She smiles sadly at him. "We hate seeing you like this."
That actually gets a chuckle out of Akira. He smiles back at her and nods.
"We should start heading back," Yusuke says suddenly, "The trains will stop running soon."
"You're right, we should get going," Ryuji responds. He makes to stand up but Akira quickly goes to stop him with a firm grip on his shoulders.
"Stay? Just for the night?" He looks pleadingly at Ryuji. "You shouldn't be straining yourself right now. I'll take you home tomorrow."
Ryuji merely blinks, a bit in shock. "Uh– Yeah, sure. My bad," he laughs self-consciously.
And so, everyone leaves with the promise of coming back the next day to check up on Ryuji. As they're saying their goodbyes, Morgana tells Akira that he'll go to check on Futaba's condition, while glancing between him and Ryuji.
Akira appreciates it.
When they're left alone, Akira stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do next.
Ryuji eyes him skeptically, before rolling his eyes and making space next to him on the bed for Akira. He pats the spot in an obvious invitation.
Akira huffs out in amusement. He goes to sit down, but Ryuji pulls him down so they're laying side-by-side.
"Is there a reason why you were so hesitant on asking us for help?" Ryuji asks him, looking serious.
Akira takes a deep breath. “It felt… nice, you know? To have everything under control. I feel like I’ve been struggling against the current this past year, so getting to make decisions and have everything go accordingly–”
“I get it,” Ryuji cuts him off before he can spiral, “But you need to know your limits too, dude. We’re not trying to say you’re not a capable leader, but we also don’t want to see you hurt yourself when we could be helping out.” He flicks his forehead affectionately. “It’s okay to ask us to do stuff for you from time to time, man, we’d be more than happy to, after all you’ve done for us.”
Akira sighs. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry again, I didn’t mean to make you all feel like I couldn’t trust you to handle things.”
Suddenly he’s pulled into a tight hug. “It’s okay, man, you’re good. Just– say something if it ever gets this bad again, okay?”
Akira hugs back just as tightly. “...Okay.”
And he means it. He won’t repeat his same mistakes.