Work Text:
noogai isn't all bad.
...okay, that's a low bar, but the other day he got creative: see, the only thing he knows i can eat AND trusts me with is raw charset, which, okay. whatever. i can't eat icons day in and day out.
the thing he got creative with was the font! apparently there's more than just Arial in different sizes or colors and bold or italics, so basically ive been neglecting endless combinations.
i admit i was curious too once he started getting me to try them.
we started with the most basic case: black, no bold, no italics, same size, different fonts.
Consolas has a crisp texture and works well on its own, but not combined with any other fonts.
Times New Roman tastes like black licorice, but has the same nutrient content and a little more material per char than Arial, so it's just better in every way i guess.
Verdana is weird for a normal-looking font because its flavor varies wildly from symbol to symbol, except for the tilde, which has subtle, floral notes that are really nice. ~
anyway that went on for a while, one or two characters at a time in every font on the list until noogai suddenly had to go afk for a minute.
...or so he said.
he ended up being gone for hours without telling me, and critically, without changing the font back to Arial or TNR from what our next experiment would be...
Papyrus.
i was looking forward to it at first. it's unique compared to most of the previous options, so i was expecting something as new and weirdly-interesting as its visual style.
the only thing Papyrus charset shares with its visual style is how viscerally disgusting it is.
it stuck in my mouth instantly, but not like the chewy fonts: it coated my throat in dust upon contact that was next-to-impossible to clear out until another pop-up ad showed up and i felt the bindings in my internal code loosen-
but even then, i couldn't breathe well enough to ignite my own flame! in desperation i used my hands and flamed my own mouth to get it out, then proceeded to cough for several minutes until i could finally deal with the pop-up.
so that was shitty.
i wondered if id eaten it... wrong???? i had no experience in this but i knew from the ads that humans usually ate their food in multiple bites, so maybe i just had to eat the Papyrus a little at a time. like a... Pixy Stick (haha) or something.
i nibbled a corner off of a Z,
and instantly regretted it.
a targeted explosion of musty, dusty, moldy, mildewy, grainy-chalky-mealy, tasteless gunk activated ALL of my taste buds at once before i could immolate it off of my tongue again.
it was capital-everything TERRIBLE.
and guess what!
it was my only food source for the next sixteen or so hours. time i spent waiting, in chalk-based hell, until noogai went out to dinner, slept, got ready for school, walked out the door...
it got bad enough that i tried to eat the stuff several more times, each attempt with the same results and worse and worse coughing.
i couldn't close the Word doc, i couldn't type anything or change the font myself, and i couldn't steal anything from the system text with the antivirus breathing down my neck (and breathe it did. it was like it was enjoying this, id never felt it so active)!
finally noogai returned home but i still had to wait until he finished his physical homework before he turned on the PC to start the digital work.
i was on my knees before the monitor turned on, all of my pride out the window long ago, begging, pleading-
but noogai didn't get what i was trying to say.
he saw the Papyrus charset typed out on the Word document, seemed to suddenly remember our experiments, and ordered me to try the "new" font for him.
so i
stood there, frozen solid, dreading the inevitable... considering literally freezing myself solid to get out of this...
but he dragged me over to the doc... ordered me to.. pick up a char... and i couldn't resist with the antivirus' eye on me.
i hoped against all hope id ever hoped that the period would have less condensed-grossness than the other symbols id had before,
and i tried to eat it.
the period tasted like nothing.
it landed inert on my tongue like a coated pill.
i was about to cry with relief when i pierced the period with a single tooth, barely grazed it-
and it burst open like a cattail pod, more horrible chalk dust cacophony spilling out-
with no pop-ups i had no fire left, and i just sort of immediately retched helplessly until the dust slowly, slowly,
slowly
cleared out.
. . .
when i could raise my head again without getting dizzy, noogai looked distressed.
i had a bad feeling.
a really bad feeling.
and it wasn't just my throat, dry and scraped raw.
i put my head in my hands and tried to keep it together.
. . .
so that was a while ago.
earlier today, i... displeased him, somehow. i don't remember what started it anymore.
he remembered my reaction to the Papyrus charset, and thought to get back at me by only feeding me that font for a whole day.
my bad feeling came back to say, "i told you so."
i was too terrified eat anything for the first hour, but the pop-ups were many today and i could feel the energy seeping out through my hands.
pain increasing in my core.
i tried my best to manage with only the periods (which he slightly relented over and supplied many of them), fully aware that i was handling live bombs at all times. i was exceedingly careful. but they were just too fragile.
too anxious to take it anymore, i slipped up once
and i was sick forever.
fire no longer sprung to my hands, i was so short of breath and usable fuel.
coughing emitted clouds of dust, which would be immediately replaced by another cloud from behind, continuing the cycle.
retching was no longer effective.
vomiting agitated more periods in the process, but it did clear them out faster.
so i choked on thick clay over and over, getting thicker as i ran out of moisture, over and over and over and over, and over, and, and.......
uh
it's over now. god, finally.
noogai closed pop-ups for me for twenty four minutes. then he just stopped browsing the Internet and flung the Cursor this way and that, trying ineffectually to help me.
he kept apologizing, but i couldn't look up all the way to read his lamentations without falling over so i just gazed out at his face and
he just looked disturbed again, but worse than last time.
i don't know if
i don't know if that's worse for me? or are we really, really really, really never doing this again?
please never again
i will do anything
ANYTHING
ANYTHING
ANYTHING
ANYTHING
INSTEAD OF CATCH A WHIFF OF ANOTHER FUcKING PApyrUs CHARACTEr
i can't sleep
i can't move
i can't breathe sometimes and i can't get anything else down either but im still hungry from, y'know, the starvation?
i just
i
...
the monitor flickered on a few seconds ago.
i guess i did pass out.
i don't feel rested.
it must be morning already. sometimes he logs on to mess with me before school.
or he forgets about some assignment, and i get a golden opportunity to mess with him.
my insides hurt. i don't want either of those things.
but i don't have a choice, and technically i have the energy now to stand up, so i get to my feet before the antivirus makes me.
i lean on the side of the monitor and try to look casual instead of fragile.
noogai isn't looking at me, or at anything on the screen, and his hands aren't on the keyboard or mouse. they're up by his chest, clasped in this comic-book picture of contrition.
why is he here?
i check the clock.
he's gonna be late for class in about twenty minutes.
it's time to go already.
i cross my arms at him. im not his calendar application but what is this? does he need a reminder?
go away!
let me suffer in peace!
finally he does seem to notice the clock and his hands dart down to the controls to get on with whatever he wanted to do.
the Cursor flies across the screen,
opening Word,
creating a new file,
and clicking in the empty space.
noogai keysmashes a sizable pile of charset and converts half of it to Times New Roman.
on second thought, he turns another fourth of it TNR.
he changes the scale of the chars at random, some normal-sized, a few as small as candy pieces relative to me, some of the TNR bigger,
then he selects it all, and drops it outside of the Word window near where im barely on my feet in the corner.
i stare at the pile.
i didn't notice my mouth watering until he offered it to me specifically.
usually he just leaves Word open so i can grab the chars myself.
it's so unnatural i somehow gain the energy to shuffle back a step, away from it.
i stare at the pile, and then turn my gaze at noogai.
i don't...
i don't get the joke.
i can't do this. i can't read him right now!
if he snuck one or two Papyrus somehow into that pile, it's fucking over, i can never trust him again, and i can't right now.
whatever thin pet-owner alliance/truce we've been forging is tearing at the seams.
maybe it's just because im even more fucking starving than earlier that's making me jumpy.
maybe im paranoid for no reason.
but i remember the looks on his face when he realized i was in pain and i can't shake the CREEPS they give me.
he's got a similar expression on now.
i can't do this.
he doesn't need my services right now so the antivirus pulls away and allows my knees to give out. i thump to the floor.
it's been a grand total of five minutes uptime today and im already spent.
ALL of my limbs are shaking - i hug them to my torso so noogai can't see.
i still can't.
i just can't.
and then the monitor goes dark.
i flinch.
while i wasn't looking, it seems like he lost interest?
he's gotten up from his seat.
he grabs his backpack from the corner
and sudden manic energy propels me forward-
i lunge onto the nearest two letters.
i stuff them in my mouth, not bothering to chew.
weird chills snake up my spine, and i worry about spitting them back out-
but noogai doesn't return when he closes the door, and the PC stays quiet.
slowly
my nerves cycle down.
...
i grab another letter, pausing to inspect its font.
Arial 'G'
i chew on it while i think. the neutral taste and texture are soothing.
i don't understand what just happened.
was that supposed to be another apology?
is it business as usual from here on?
i shudder again at that.
noogai may be sorry, but he still didn't bother to take off my shackle this morning like he promised
(i still had a few more days leeway saved up from being a good little stick figure).
the ball and chain it tethers me to are off to my side, now-familiar companions.
i turn away from them and start digging through my pile.
it's paranoid, im sure (im almost sure), but i was still pretty out of it while i watched noogai type this up and i could've missed something.
i check every single one, one at a time, even the obviously-TNR pieces for any trace of Papyrus.
i check twice, every single one, one at a time.
i check three times.
it's all clear.
...why is this worse?
the shackle makes my ankle ache.
noogai's face flashes in my head from when he realized he could use the fonts against me.
lingering chalk in my mouth is exactly two millimeters away from making me gag.
tears are spilling down my cheeks.
im so hungry.
i try to remind myself im just doing what's necessary to survive here, and the food is safe, so why not eat it?
but the logic falls flat in the staticky-silence of my mind.
all thought slips away, really.
im so hungry.
i accept the offering in full.