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Being a vampire wasn’t exactly like Rodney had imagined it would be. Not that he’d ever really given the subject all that much thought – beyond owning all seven seasons of Buffy on blu-ray and having a healthy aversion to everything Team Edward, of course. That was until a morning three months before, when he’d woken up in a Romanian hotel room with a splitting headache, an overwhelming longing for a nice, juicy steak – and a pair of retractable incisors that he was fairly certain could split a beer can (if the need ever arose).
He’d been in Bucharest attending an astrophysics symposium where he’d delivered the keynote speech on advances in exotic baryon detection and propagation, and their (theoretical) application in creating stable Lorentzian traversable wormholes. After a rewarding evening of canapés and demolishing the arguments of the entire scientific field present (except for maybe that Zlenky guy – who’d turned out not to be a complete idiot and had actually been able to keep up on some of the more basic principles) Rodney had felt in the mood for a snack and, as the room service selection was woefully low in saturated fat and corn syrup, he’d headed out looking for a late night grocery store and the Romanian equivalent of Ding-Dongs. The hotel had been in the old part of the city, and it hadn’t taken long before he’d got completely turned around amongst the narrow, cobbled streets and had ended up in a dark alleyway. He’d heard a single set of footsteps approaching from behind and, before he’d had chance to panic, there’d been a whispered rush of ‘something’ swirling around him, and the next thing he’d known, he was waking up in his hotel room with the aforementioned surprising additions to his dentition.
But so far, being a vampire was definitely different from what he’d expected. For one, it turned out that the whole ‘bursting into flames in sunlight’ thing was a complete load of hooey – thankfully. The worst the sun did was make his skin tingle and feel a little burnt – pretty much how it always had – and daily applications of his own formula, super-strength sunscreen had cleared that right up. And the ‘insatiable thirst for blood and ripping the throats out of young virgins’ stuff was another load of drivel. (Again, thankfully.) Yes, he definitely fancied a pint of O neg now and again, but the idea of biting some random – possibly unsanitary – stranger made his stomach turn. Fortunately, he knew someone who knew someone at the local blood bank and so his new-found aperitif du jour wasn’t a problem.
Oh, and there was no sparkling – thank God.
No. The real issue was not knowing what to expect now that he was a member of the evil undead. Because, really? He didn’t even feel evil (although he knew a few undergrads who’d probably disagree with him there). And what about the immortality thing? Was that real? And then there were relationships. He’d never been very successful when it came to romance, despite his best efforts, and the thought of spending eternity alone was hardly appealing. He’d read somewhere that vampire couples shared a psychic connection or something and that they bonded for life. Was that true or was it just another lovelorn author’s wish fulfilment? Or maybe just his own.
The problem was that pretty much everything he knew about vampires came from popular culture and, as much as he loved Ms Summers, he’d really like to know the facts. (Like if there actually was some perky little co-ed waiting around the next corner with a stake in her hand and slaying in her heart.)
He needed answers – and so that was why it was three in the morning, and he was hanging around in a cemetery freezing his ass off. He needed to find other vampires – someone who could explain everything to him – and this seemed the most logical place to look. After all, Buffy was always in cemeteries – killing vampires, granted, but at least it was a place to start.
Unfortunately, this was the third time he’d been here this week, and he wasn’t exactly having much luck – though a creepy looking guy in a raincoat had winked at him over near the columbarium last night, but no, definitely not, thank you – and oh, great… Now it was raining.
That was it. He was cold, he was wet, and he was no closer to finding out anything about bloody vampires. He’d had enough. There was only one thing that could salvage another fruitless evening, and so he turned up his collar, pushed his hands deep into his pockets and trudged slowly towards Main Street.
***
Rodney gave a little sigh of happiness as he stepped into the warm, steamy – blessedly caffeinated – confines of his local 24-hour coffee house. His life might have changed irrevocably, but there was one thing that remained constant: two-shot espresso macchiato (with a double pump of caramel).
The barista was already smiling in recognition and reaching for the caramel before Rodney could even give his order. Rodney nodded back before paying and tucking a couple of dollars into the tip jar; initiative – especially when it came to coffee – was always to be encouraged. He grabbed the mug, inhaling deeply and cradling the warmth of the smooth ceramic between his chilled hands, and headed over to his favourite table in the corner – only to be brought to a sudden stop.
The table was occupied.
It was three fifteen in the morning, there was only one other customer in the entire place – and they were sitting in Rodney’s seat! He took a slow, deep breath to stop from screaming in frustration and stomped over and stood in front of the table. He couldn’t see much around the open copy of The New York Times that the guy was reading, though there were a few chaotic tufts of dark hair peering mockingly over the top of the broadsheet.
“Excuse me,” Rodney said firmly. “You’re sitting at…”
The words – the world – faded away as the stranger lowered his newspaper. Hazel eyes shot through with gold and green, and lips curling into an irresistible grin spoke to something deep in Rodney’s soul – in his blood. Oh…
So, vampires do bond for life.
(Definitely not) the end ♥