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Charlie keeps his hands hooked in the pockets of his jeans. If he presses down too hard, they'd slide right off, so he's careful not to do that. He's been watching Boone clean his rifle or something for the last twenty minutes.
In an off-hand way, Boone says that he should take to fixing his assault rifle. But Charlie hasn't got the heart to tell him that his aim is so shit if he could get the piece of junk to fire, he's just as soon to shoot Boone in the back, or side, or maybe front. Sometimes he forgets where Boone stands when they fight.
"You should sit," Boone says without taking his eyes off his rifle.
Charlie shrugs but doesn't move. He likes standing. At least for now. The last round was a dose of jet so he wants to stand. In another twenty minutes he'll want to sleep, so it'll be med-x. Then he'll lay down. There's no in between for sitting. He shouldn't be mixing the jet with the med-x or something bad happens. He forgets what.
"You think I'm disgusting." Whenever he doesn't know what to say to Boone, Charlie pulls out that line. There's a comfort in it, knowing Boone is still here despite all the fucked up things that should separate them.
Most of the time the sniper just grunts. It's as much of a confirmation as Charlie needs. If asked, Charlie couldn't tell you why Boone thinks he's disgusting, if it's the chems, or the scars, or what. Maybe the "what" that involves why Charlie kinda knows Vulpes Inculta is why Boone thinks he's disgusting.
But this time Boone doesn't grunt. He says, "No" just under his breath but just loud enough that it doesn't get caught in still of the night air and die there. Instead it's like the word gets carried up by the crackling embers of the fire they use for light.
Because Boone says "No," Charlie sits down in the dirt. He watches Boone's long fingers with cracked nails work the pieces of his rifle apart and back together. In comparison Charlie's knuckles are knotted and raw. Doesn't matter if he covers them with tape or whatever, they still turn out the same way.
Boone finishes up, says he's going to bed in the cramped tent they've shared for awhile now.
Once Boone's inside, Charlie goes to his pack, looking for his evening dose. It's like warm milk in his veins. Not the needle. The needle is all sharp like. In the gap between chems he can still feel it. Reminds him he's not a corpse even if he looks like one. But, Charlie supposes, he doesn't look that much like one because it's not like he's a ghoul or anything. Ghouls are strange.
Tempting to stay out here, watch the stars cross the sky. But then a gecko migh try and chew on him. So Charlie strips out of his shirt and crawls into the tent, careful not to disturb Boone.
But that doesn't matter really because he can't keep his mouth shut, even as his low starts clinging to his eyelids and his lungs.
"Boone."
"Yeah."
"Thanks."
He doesn't ask for what. Just stays real quiet. There's only a little bit of space between them, a tiny valley of air. Charlie rolls over and that sliver of space is eaten up by his narrow frame. Even in the darkness he can see Boone's face quite clearly. Doc said it was because of the radiation. So he didn't want it cured. Had it as long as he could remember, like it's part of him.
Boone doesn't flinch, so Charlie doesn't stop, pressing his chapped lips to Boone's softer ones. The sniper doesn't hit him in the mouth like he was expecting, doesn't kiss back either. Just holds real still in the darkness. Charlie likes kissing, the warm wetness of it, the feeling of pressing against another body. It feels good and he likes good things. He wants to be good himself when he's afraid he's only disgusting.
But Boone isn't like that, though Charlie is sure Boone is a good thing.
When he inches back, he sees Boone in the exact position he was before. On his side, lips a little parted. Charlie doesn't know what he was expecting. Boone doesn't like Legion, and he shouldn't like Charlie either. Charlie's not Legion, but he's got too many mistakes pilled up to be not-Legion either. Makes his head hurt to think about.
Doesn't say anything, so Charlie rolls back onto his back, closing his eyes and hoping Boone isn't going to hit him now. He doesn't want Boone to hit him because then he'll have to hit back. And if he hits Boone back, Boone will end up hurt. And if Boone ends up hurt he'll be all alone again because Vulpes doesn't love him. Vulpes Inculta of Kai-zar's Legion wants him to be a different man.
He should have taken more med-x.
But then there's a weight on him. At his hips, his shoulders too. When he cracks his radioactive eyes open, it's Boone, more than half on top him in the darkness. And his hands, in better shape than Charlie's managed ones, hold his face as he leans forward to capture his lips.
Charlie thinks his heart might just burst because Boone is just so good.