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I’m in love with Charlie pretty much since we've met. The second I spotted him, coming through the door to the form room of the Hamlet House, I was completely and utterly gone. Who could honestly blame me for that? Charlie is beautiful, fit, adorable, talented, and literally everything that fits in my type. As if that’s not enough, Charlie is also very nice, loves to tease me and he’s kind. And over all of that, he’s gay, so I could actually get together with him, if he’d be interested. Over the two weeks of Easter break, he got even more beautiful. He’s for sure the hottest man in the entire school. The only problem for me is that he doesn’t see me like that. And so I spend another afternoon daydreaming about a world in which Charlie hasn’t been bullied. A world in which he loves me like I love him.
Charlie🫶- hiiiiiiiiiiiii
Nick- Hi
Charlie🫶- i'm soooooooooooo borrrrrreeeeeedddddd
Charlie🫶- did you know that tao FINALLY asked elle on a date????
Nick- He told us at lunch, Char
Charlie🫶- ooopss, i forgot 😂
Nick- Lol, idiot
Charlie🫶- but at least i’m good at mario kart
Nick- Wow, that was uncalled for
Charlie🫶- 😈😈😈😈
Charlie🫶- anyways, what’re you doing??
Nick- Cuddling with Nellie
Charlie🫶- i'm so jealous
Nick- Of me or of Nellie??
Charlie🫶- as if i’d want to cuddle with a rugby lad 🙄
Nick- You wound me, Charles
Charlie🫶- am i now, nicholas? am i now??
Nick- Yeah
Charlie🫶- i wanted to ask you something, actually
Nick- Yeah?
Charlie🫶- yeah. i’ve been talking with elle about this one project they have in music. it’s SOOOOO cool. i want that at our school, too
Nick- What’s it about??
Charlie🫶- they have to ask five ppl who know them really well to send them a song that describes them in their opinion and then make a remix out of it
Nick- Ooooh, that sounds cool
Charlie🫶- right? she asked me to send her a song haha. do you know if we have each other by alec benjamin? that’s the one i chose for her. tao chose lgbt by cupcakke at first. i'm still dying for that. but he changed to good time by owl city and carly rae jepsen. isaac took the nights by avicii. honestly why can’t we do something as cool like them? i personally would LOVE to do that.
Nick- Oh my god, that’s SO cool. I’d love to do that, too
Charlie🫶- we could just do it ourself. we don’t need truham for that. my song for you is count on me by bruno mars, i think
Nick- Ooooh, I like that one. Wait a second, I’ll find you a song. Brb
Nick- Do you know die first by Nessa Barrett? That song always reminds me of you
Charlie🫶- no, i don’t. i'm gonna check it out. ttyl
Nick- Sounds good
Charlie🫶- perfect
Nick- Good
A few minutes later, another message from Charlie comes through.
Charlie🫶- oh
Oh? That was odd. I open my Spotify app and go to my Charlie playlist. I scroll down until I find the song.
I hope I die first
'Cause I don't wanna live without you
I don't wanna ever learn
How to fall asleep without you
Tell me what's worse
Losing you now or later?
Maybe I can break the curse
And I can be in love forever
If I die
Fuck! Fuckity fuck! Shit! Of all the songs on that playlist, I send Charlie the one about my feelings. And now? Should I text him? But when I say yes, what should I text him? That I didn’t mean it like that? That it was a joke? That it— our doorbell rings. “Can you get the door real quick Nick? My hands are covered in dough.”
“Coming,” I say. Hopefully I can get an idea while answering the door. Maybe I could ask mum. But then, downstairs, I open the door and in front of me stands a soaking wet Charlie. “Wh-, Charlie,” I splutter.
“Uh, yeah. Hi. I-I just really wanted to talk to you in person about that.”
He came to say goodbye. There’s no way he’s going to stay my friend after this. “Oh, uh, yeah. Come in,” I say. He nods and enters our house. Maybe this is the last time he does. “Let’s go to my room,” I say, not wanting mum to overhear this. He hums in agreement. We go upstairs to my room and he stands there, seemingly unaware how he makes me feel right now.
“Who did you make do that, huh? Harry? Ben?”
“Wait what?”
“Why did you do that, Nick? I really thought you were different than the others, but now it seems you’re just like them?”
“I’m not like Ben or Harry. I’d never hurt—”
“Was that the plan from the beginning? How to humiliate and hurt the gay boy of Truham in the worst way?”
“I would never hurt you, Char—”
“I wouldn’t even wonder if you were on the phone while texting me that song? Probably you all had the laugh of your life.”
“Charlie, that’s not—”
“How long did you wanted to carry on doing this? Huh? I know, it might be a surprise to you and all the other rugby lads, but I also have feelings. I am just as worth as you all are. And just because I’m gay, that doesn’t give you the right to hurt me like this.”
“I’ve never said otherwi—”
“Fuck, Nick, I really thought you’re different than the—,” I can’t stand that rambling anymore and so I grab his head and cup his cheeks.
“Now, you listen to me, Charlie. I don’t mess with you. I do like you. In a way that goes beyond friendship. I want to be with you. I’m not messing around with you. I’m bisexual, which I found out because of you, actually. I know that you don’t feel the same for me but I want to be with you.” His eyes look at mine, they’re full of fear.
“I do feel that for you. I was just to scared to admit, I thought you were straight.”
I snort, “so did I. Char, do you want to ki—,” Charlie’s lips are on mine. I’m kissing Charlie Spring! I feel his lips against mine and suddenly feel like I’m invincible. Nothing could ever stop me. When he leans back to take a breath, I chase after his lips. He giggles softly. “Be my boyfriend,” I whisper in his ear, once our lips part.
“I’d love to,” he replies and draws another kiss on my lips.