Chapter Text
“Hi, mate. You think the vibe on the ship is poisoned?” Blackbeard held the pistol under his own chin, eyes wide and unblinking, whilst the crew shot concerned glances to one another. Izzy glared, complicated feelings swirling around inside his chest.
Blackbeard continued in a whiny imitation of himself, “Ooh, I don’t know, Blackbeard. Maybe a little bit toxic sometimes. Maybe it’s a bit comfortable. You do make the crew a bit uncomfortable sometimes. They think you’re crazy.”
The sea air around The Revenge had become thick and smothering, something unsettling stirring on the breeze.
“Well, I’m not crazy. I don’t feel crazy. I feel pretty fucking good actually-”
“PACK IT IN!” Izzy roared from behind him, halting Blackbeard’s frantic monologue, gun still readied below his chin, finger twitching on the trigger.
The ship went silent as Blackbeard lowered the gun, turning slowly to face his first mate. Frenchie tried to catch Izzy’s eye, shaking his head subtly. Now wasn’t the time.
“The atmosphere on this ship is fucked.” Izzy spat out with venom. “Everyone knows why.”
Blackbeard stalked towards him, feigning an air of indifference.
“Well, I don’t. Enlighten me.”
A pained, smug smile crept onto Izzy’s face as he gave a small shrug, not giving Blackbeard the satisfaction of being intimidated.
“Your feelings for Stede Fucking Bonnet.”
The crew grimaced. Blackbeard raised his pistol just as a loud thud came from his right, and the slap of the rope ladder swinging into the side of the ship rattled around the deck.
A wary face looked up as the figure dragged himself up from the floor, clearly nervous but attempting to project his usual false confidence. Blackbeard choked on his next breath as the crew all held theirs, eyes wide as they stared at Stede. Fucking. Bonnet.
“For fucks sake,” Jim whispers.
“Hi all!” Stede called out merrily, trying to cut the tension and pretend he hadn’t stumbled into a very dire situation. He’d always had astoundingly bad timing. Especially when it came to Ed.
Ed’s pistol had lowered slightly in his shock, but he swung it back up to point directly at Stede’s chest. There were a thousand questions swimming in his head, though not a single one spoke louder than the voice screaming “What the fuck are you doing here now? And don’t you dare pretend nothing has changed.” He said nothing, waiting for Stede’s next move, aware of the eyes of every crew member flitting frantically between them.
Stede flung his hands in the air, placations already on his tongue.
“Ed, stop, no. You’re not going to shoot me.” He didn’t sound sure. ‘I am.. so sorry.” The earnestness grated on Ed’s already frayed nerves.
Stede shifted to take a step forward. Ed gritted his teeth, almost growling, shaking his head once in warning, still unable to form any words to say to the man who broke his fucking heart.
Eyes almost closed, arms still raised and head tilted to the side away from Ed’s pistol, Stede crept forwards. He seemed to both truly believe Ed couldn’t hurt him and be expecting a bullet any second. His limbs were tensed and his gait was stiff yet he kept moving.
Ed’s hand was shaking where he was holding the gun, still drilling holes in Stede’s head with a furious glare. Only a fool would challenge the most feared pirate on the Seven Seas, gun in hand. Only one man would have so much blind faith. One stupid, foolish, brave man.
Ed kept making small, aggressive sounds, flicking the pistol up and down to ward Stede off, but the stubborn gentleman wouldn’t give in. He walked straight into the pistol until it was pressed to where his heart would be, waited a silent moment, and turned his head back to look at Ed with wet eyes, lungs sucking in quick, unsteady breaths.
“Get the fuck away from me.” Ed warned, quiet but deadly, voice trembling. The crew looked away, Frenchie caught Izzy’s eye again and even he couldn’t look straight at a scene of such blatant heart ache. This was going so much worse than Stede had imagined it could.
Stede shook his head gently, creeping his arms down from their raised position and reaching forwards for Ed’s inked wrists.
“I SAID GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.” Ed shouted, voice like thunder, but making no move to push Stede away, still as a dead man.
‘Ed,” Stede whispered, “Let me just..”
They were so close now, Stede leaning into his space, he could feel Stede’s breath on his cheek as his soft fingers clasped Ed’s trembling wrists, softly pushing them between both of their chests, pistol still loaded, still pointed at Stede, ‘Still an option’, Ed thought, fully aware of the lie.. But as Stede’s grip tightened, Ed’s became lax and the pistol dropped to the floor making the whole crew flinch. By some cosmic stroke of luck, it didn’t fire.
Sucking in a deep breath, Jim darted towards it, grabbing the weapon and retreating back next to Archie, anxiously awaiting whatever would come next. They felt Archie’s hand brush their arm in a comforting gesture, a reminder she’s still there.
Stede and Ed remained staring into eachothers’ souls, air charged and electric between them. Stede’s hands were warm at their point of contact and Ed felt such a powerful wave of longing rush through his veins, being this close to him. He could feel the phantom brush of Stede’s lips on his, the softness of his cheek under his palm - the ghost of their last encounter. He could remember how solid and real he felt and it made his chest squeeze so tight. Stede started to speak again.
“Ed, I am so so sorry. I love-”
Ed finally found his voice, cracked but there.
“Don’t fucking say that to me. Don’t you dare fucking say that. You don’t get to just waltz back up here to your fancy toy ship, with your fancy fucking books and clothes and expect everything to go back to how it was. Your wife was just a toy to you, your family, your comfy life, me. Just a fucking toy. You’re not God’s fucking gift Stede Bonnet, you don’t have to make everyone else’s life revolve around you.” Breathing heavily, Ed tried to ignore his accidental revelation that his life does, indeed, revolve around Stede. And just how not fucking fair that really was.
“Ed.. I love everything about you. You were never a toy. You’re the only real thing I’ve ever felt.” He stumbled over the words, clearly struggling to be so vulnerable, also keenly aware of the crew watching the dramatic exchange wearily, ready for any outcome.
“Ed please. Please.” He clutched his wrists even harder, willing him to understand, needing more than anything for Ed to fathom the absolutely cataclysmic turn his life had taken when Ed found him bleeding out on that Spanish Naval ship. He saw in colour for the first time, he heard music differently, the air felt different, warmer, kinder. It was all him, it would always be him.
Stede brought his hand up towards Ed’s face, still clasping his wrist, and tenderly swiped his thumb over the charcoal smeared across Ed’s eyelids. Ed’s eyes followed the movement then flickered back to Stede’s, and he shivered at the touch, praying the crew couldn’t see but knowing Stede had felt it. Stede face scrunched up into a pained, worried expression, leaving their hands hovering centimetres from Ed’s cheek. He looked at the black that had transferred to his thumb, at Ed, at the floor, then back at all three again.
“You did that.” Ed murmured. “You brought Blackbeard back from the dead. I was so ready to be Edward. With you. I was ready to just be with you. I was all in.” His voice softened marginally. There was a fragility to it now, like he could fracture at any moment.
“I know what you think you are. I know.. I can see what I did to you. I am so sorry I didn’t meet you. It was all I wanted, then.. I couldn’t. I wish I could go back, I wish I could meet you there. You need to know I can be all in now. It can just be us.”
Those words would have healed him once, now they felt like salt in an open wound.
“You’re too fucking late Stede, I clearly can’t be good for you. You fucking left, why would you leave if I was good for you? Why would you leave if you wanted so badly to stay?”
“You’re a good man, Edward Teach. I’ve been telling everyone. We’ve all done bad, we’ve all been wrong. I was wrong for leaving. I can forgive everything you’ve done. You are good for me.” Stede’s throat was desert dry, choked up with emotion. He’s never cared for anything like he cares for this complicated, angry man.
“You could’ve made me good.” Ed whispered only loud enough for Stede to hear. Stede flinched as the wishful admission cut straight to the bone.
“Now get off my ship.”
Any softness Ed had shown was wiped away instantly as he tensed in Stede’s grip, trying to shake him off.
“You don’t mean that - Ed I am so sorry I hurt you, please just, let's’ talk somewhere else, alone. Let me explain properly. I missed you so much. Ed, please just listen.”
“Get. Off. My. Ship.” Ed said through gritted teeth. He kept trying to shake off Stede’s iron grip, now scorching his bare wrists. His bones felt brittle, every sensation magnified tenfold with the desperate way Stede’s eyes bored into his as the blonde man tried to pull him closer. Stede managed to press his lips to Ed’s briefly in their struggle, a final attempt to bring his Ed back to him.
It was too much. Stede Bonnet, unintentional heart-breaker, had always been too much, and Ed would never be enough. It was torture to feel him this close. To hate him and still want him like he’s never wanted anything.
Ed finally got free and pushed him off, lips tingling, Stede being shoved back in the process. He tried to get close again.
“Ed, please. Please.” Stede shifted his head left and right desperately, trying to catch Ed’s eye as he stared at a distant point beyond the broken man in front of him.
“Look at me Ed!” Stede cried, voice going higher in that unique way of his. “Don’t act like I’m a ghost to you!” Stede was begging now, hands fisted at his sides, body vibrating with anxious adrenaline.
“You are.” Ed replied coldly, turning his back on Stede and marching to his quarters, he couldn’t face this anymore.
Without looking back, he called to the crew, “Somebody better fucking deal with that.”
Just as he ducked through the doorway, he heard Stede forcing out an exhale close to a sob, and his wrists and face throbbed where Stede had touched him, his heart constricting painfully as he shattered.
Izzy shook off the bitter atmosphere that had begun to settle on deck, and approached Stede, forcing him against the railing as he bound his hands to take him down to the brig. Blackbeard had clearly stated ‘off the ship’ but Izzy didn’t believe this was over yet. The remaining crew of The Revenge seemed to have guessed his intentions as they seemed uneasy letting the two men walk away, though they soon followed after.
“Come on, Bonnet. You’ve done enough damage for one fucking day.” Izzy sighed, smugness fallen from his expression to reveal bone deep exhaustion and perhaps a slither of regret.
“You have really fucked this.”