Work Text:
Something was up with Chat Noir.
That was probably not what Nino should have been focusing on while taking a test, but there he was, staring blankly at the chemistry problems mocking him while considering the change in the second half of Paris' original duo.
A change he didn't give much thought to before last night, he was ashamed to admit.
Last night, Carapace had been called in to help with an akuma. Nothing unusual there. Of course, Alya wasn't by his side, something he was still getting used to. But he knew she was still there, and so were a few of the other heroes. Including Chat Noir.
That had caught him off guard. Nino hadn't realized how little he'd seen the cat hero lately until he saw him last night and was struck by how... strange it was to see him gathered with everyone else.
Something nasty bubbled beneath Nino's skin making him hot and itchy.
When was the last time he'd seen Chat before the battle was nearly over? When did the sight of Ladybug's partner being part of the larger team start to seem foreign? Why did Chat look so out of place and awkward among the team? Like he didn't know how to hold himself or how to interact with the others? When did he start looking like he stuck out just by being there? When did the well-oiled machine that was Ladybug and Chat Noir turn into Ladybug and Everyone-But-Chat Noir?
When had he begun to disappear?
When did he start looking like he wanted to disappear?
Beside him, Adrien stood up to hand in his test, breaking Nino from the endless spiral of questions in his head.
Right. Chemistry. Nino looked down at the mostly blank page and let out a sigh. He needed to focus on the test, not Chat Noir. He could puzzle out the elusive hero later.
He glanced at Adrien as he sat back in his seat and rested his head on his arms. His best bud had seemed a bit off lately, but every time Nino tried to ask, Adrien seemed to just brush him off either claiming it was just exhaustion or something to do with his dad.
And while Nino could certainly believe those, his gut told him something else was going on. He just didn't know what. And he didn't know how to ask. Adrien was always good at pretending nothing was wrong. He'd take blow after blow with a smile, just absorbing the pain and the hurt and pretending that nothing had happened. And most of the time, Nino would accept his answer and push away his concern. Lock it in a little box because he didn't want to chase Adrien off. Usually, that worked.
And yet.
Adrien seemed to sense Nino's stare. He lifted his head from his arms to meet Nino's eyes, one eyebrow raised in a silent question. He reminded Nino, oddly enough, of a cat that's been roused from its nap.
Nino shook his head and turned back to his test. That was probably just his brain still stuck on Chat Noir.
Probably.
Adrien shuffled some more at the other side of the bench, but Nino didn't look up this time.
It wasn't until the lunch bell rang, and Adrien left the classroom while Nino was still packing his things that he knew something was definitely wrong with his best friend. Adrien always waited for Nino before heading out.
"Wow, he's in a hurry." Alya looped her arm through one of Nino's, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "Any idea where he's off to in such a rush?"
Nino shook his head. "No idea. My dude hasn't said much all day." Make that all week, Nino amended in his head. Or has it been longer?
When was the last time he and Adrien had really talked?
Alya hummed. "It's probably something to do with his dad. You know how he is."
"Yeah, maybe." Nino adjusted his cap and shoved his free hand in his pocket, ignoring the sinking feeling of lead in his gut.
Nino found Adrien sitting on a park bench, picking at his sandwich. He paused and observed his friend for a moment.
His hair was a little messier than normal, as if he'd run his hands through it over and over. His eyes were staring at the statue of Ladybug and Chat Noir, but Nino knew he was probably miles away. One of his legs swung underneath him, his foot grazing the dirt. He was making that weird face Nino had figured out meant he was biting the inside of his cheek, a habit he'd developed instead of biting his lip to avoid chapping them.
The lead in Nino's stomach grew heavier. He cleared his throat and pretended not to notice Adrien's jump. "You gonna eat that? Lunch won't last forever."
Adrien shrugged and took a bite, shuffling off to one side of the bench. Nino sat on the opposite side, pulling out a soda and popping the tab. "Thought you'd be at home. Your old man finally start letting you eat lunch here?"
Adrien shook his head. "He doesn't know." He glanced away. Nino followed his gaze till he saw Adrien's bodyguard reading a comic book on a bench further away. Close enough to keep an eye on them, but far enough for them to talk without him overhearing.
For a moment, neither said anything. Nino watched Adrien nibble his sandwich out of the corner of his eye.
"You gonna tell me what's wrong?" Nino took a sip of his soda and swished it around in his mouth for a second. "And don't tell me you're just tired or your dad's being a dick again because I know that's not it."
Adrien took another bite and shrugged. He chewed slowly, carefully placed his half-eaten sandwich back in its little baggy, and took a swig from his water bottle. "It's nothing."
Nino pursed his lips and took off his hat long enough to run a hand over his hair. On one hand, he could take that at face value. Change the subject and pretend like he believed that. He could rant about the chemistry test and how he was sure he'd failed miserably. Or rope Adrien into being his sounding board for this new idea he'd been thinking up for his next film project. Or he could ask about any number of Adrien's hobbies (either the ones he was actually interested in or the ones his dad picked for him).
But something in Nino nudged him to brave the waters of whatever had his best friend down. So instead, he shook his head and pleaded, "Don't lie to me, dude. Please? You've been super quiet and, I don't know, distant lately. I'm worried about you."
Adrien met his eyes for the first time since lunch break started. "Really, Nino, it's nothing."
Nino held his best friend's gaze. Adrien was lying to him, and he didn't know why. But if Adrien didn't want to tell him, Nino wasn't going to force the issue.
Finally, he shrugged. "Okay, dude. But remember I'm here for you if you ever wanna talk. Or complain about your dad. I'm always down for that."
A small smile flitted across Adrien's lips, a fraction of the tension in his shoulders seeping out with the motion. "I know."
Adrien took another bite of his sandwich, and Nino finished off his soda, the bubbles mixing with the ball of tension in his stomach which he tried (and failed) not to notice had grown a little bit larger.
So instead, he pulled out that little box full of all worries Adrien-centered and shoved that ball of tension inside and locked the key and pretended like that actually worked.
And ended up changing the subject after all. “So I have this pretty off-the-hook idea for that film contest coming up–”
Nino might not have had many close friends until Adrien sat next to him that first day of school, but Nino took his duty as best bud very seriously.
Adrien wasn't gonna spill what was up with him. That was fine. Whatever. Adrien was a private dude. He didn't like complaining about whatever was up with his life (usually centered around his dad), not wanting to be a burden on anyone.
(Nino hated it. Friends are supposed to help each other with problems, to share the load. No one needed to buckle under the weight of their burdens that way. Nino was convinced Adrien's reluctance to open up was a result of Gabriel Agreste's A+ Parenting Skills. That bastard.)
Even so, Nino usually got him to unload at least a little bit.
But Adrien was stubborn and tight-lipped this time. He might not be willing to talk about it, but Nino wouldn't let him just suffer.
Click. Drag. Click.
So yeah. His best friend in the whole world was struggling with something, and Nino was going to do something about it. Obviously, he couldn't help fix the problem if Adrien didn't acknowledge there was a problem in the first place, much less tell him what the problem was, but Nino could at least help cheer him up.
So there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for him being awake at – he glanced at the time in the bottom corner of his computer screen – two-thirty in the morning: he was working on a new mix of Adrien's favorite songs. On a school night. When he had unfinished homework.
It was fine, though. He would deal. After all, Adrien came first. And Nino wouldn't rest until his smile returned. His real smile, not the one he plastered on to pretend everything was fine, and not the one he used in photoshoots. The one that stretched his mouth wide and made his eyes sparkle. The one that wrinkled his cheeks and lit up the entire room.
There was a reason Alya nicknamed him Sunshine, after all.
Nino just needed to chase away the clouds that had formed over the past… while.
Click. Drag. Click. Click.
BOOM!
Nino jumped in his seat, which toppled sideways and crashed to the floor. He landed in an undignified heap with an oomph. Another explosion echoed across the city, and he forced himself to his feet. He'd managed to twist mid-air to avoid falling on his glasses, which was a plus. But his headphones had been snapped in the fall.
Bummer. They'd been his favorite pair. Hopefully the magic ladybugs would fix them.
He sighed. There went any chance of finishing Adrien's mix tonight. It would be impossible to concentrate with the ruckus outside. If his headphones had been spared in the crash, he could've just put them on, turned on the noise cancelling feature, and completely ignored the explosions created by whoever the hell had gotten pissed enough to get butterflied way past midnight. Now though…
An urgent rap on his window pierced through his lament over his headphones. He turned around and scrambled to the window. He lifted the latch and opened the window. "Ladybug, dude! You need Carapace tonight?"
A wry smile quirked the spotted heroine's lips. "With the nature of this particular akuma, I'd rather have a little extra protection."
Within moments, Ladybug was leaping towards the battle, Carapace at her heels.
When they landed on a roof overlooking the akuma, a couple heroes Carapace hadn't worked with often were already crouched and waiting. Purple Tigress maybe? And that one was Polymouse. And Chat Noir, though there was a noticeable distance between him and the other two. Carapace forced himself not to focus on that. He had a job to do, and now was not the time to wonder about whatever was going on with Chat Noir.
Most of the fight passed in a blur. Multiple explosions, a couple crashes into buildings, one or two near death experiences, and one red and black spotted rubber duck later, the magical ladybugs scattered around the city, fixing the damage to the buildings and citizens alike as the heroes performed the customary fistbump.
Purple Tigress and Polymouse hung back with Ladybug, probably getting pointers for future battles. They were fairly new after all, and Ladybug used to do the same with Nino when he was still learning the ropes.
Carapace glanced over at the akuma victim, huddled on the ground and shivering in the cool night breeze, clutching the charm Ladybug had given her close to her chest. Chat Noir knelt next to her, one hand on her shoulder and mouth moving, though Nino couldn't make out what he said. He could guess though. As the akumas got worse, the cat hero gained a reputation for reassuring victims of akumas that they were not to blame and providing comfort either until the authorities arrived to help the person get to wherever they needed to be or his timer ran out.
As if his internal monologue had summoned them, two police officers approached the disoriented woman who was now standing, and Chat Noir backed away to let them take her home. His smile was friendly enough, but as soon as her back was turned it fell into a grim line.
Something about it reminded him of Adrien.
Carapace shook that thought away and stepped closer. Chat's ears twitched in his direction, but he didn't turn around. Nino reached to put a hand on his shoulder, hesitated for a brief moment, and pulled back. Instead, he cleared his throat. "You, uh, you okay, dude?"
Chat jerked his head in a single, sharp nod. "Just fine, thank you." He was still staring straight ahead, watching the woman getting into the police car instead of facing him.
Silence stretched on for a moment until Carapace tried again. "It's just – you were really quiet tonight, and you're not usually, so I was wondering what that was about."
At that, Chat turned and met his gaze. Nino almost wished he hadn't. Chat was always so full of life and open in his feelings, that Nino had never struggled to get a read on him before. And though his eyes were altered by the magic of his miraculous to look feline, they'd never set Nino on edge, always coming across as friendly and warm and welcoming and full of mischief and fun. But now, the unnatural cat eyes had an eerie almost-glow in the dimly lit street, and his face was unreadable. Expressionless. It sent Nino's skin crawling.
Finally, Chat looked away and shrugged. "Didn't want to be obnoxious. Thought you might appreciate that." And as Carapace sat there flabbergasted, he extended his baton and vaulted away.
Nino stared at Chat's retreating form, mind reeling, until the hero had long gone. He didn't want to be obnoxious? What was that about?
"Carapace!" Ladybug's voice broke him out of his trance. He followed her back to his apartment in a daze. He gave her back the miraculous, and ducked back into his room. Nino watched her leave, bounding over the rooftops before he turned and sank into his chair at his desk, now standing upright after the Ladybug's cure. He grabbed his headphones – good as new – and ran his thumb over one of the ear cushions.
Where on earth would Chat Noir get the idea that he was obnoxious? Much less that Carapace would think that? Nino scrambled to think of a time he might have said something to Chat, maybe snapped at him or told him to be quiet, but came up blank. His eyes drifted to his monitor, to Adrien's unfinished mix, and Nino's gut twisted.
"Did you tell Chat Noir that I called him obnoxious?"
Adrien froze mid-bite, and Nino cursed himself for just blurting the question out like that.
Adrien swallowed his food and put his sandwich back in the little baggy. He fiddled with the plastic for a moment. "Why would I do that?"
Nino didn't know how to answer that. Why would Adrien tell another person something Nino told him in confidence? Especially when it would upset said person. Also, why would Adrien think Chat Noir would care what some random civilian thought of him?
"I don't know," he whispered. He took off his hat and rubbed his thumb back and forth over the bill. "You know the akuma last night?"
Adrien nodded.
"Well, I got called in as–" Nino looked around, making sure they were alone, "Carapace." He whispered the name, though there wasn't a soul in sight, as the two of them were sitting on their favorite bench by the Seine. The one they met so frequently at, mainly because it was isolated and seldom used.
He cleared his throat and returned his hat to his head. "Anyway, Chat Noir was super quiet the whole time. He didn't make any sort of jokes or puns or anything. It was just all business. I think the only time he said anything the entire fight was to use his power. And when I asked him about it afterwards, he said–"
Guilt pounded between his ribs and rolled in his stomach, just as it had done every time he thought about it. And he had done a lot of thinking about it in the hours after the attack. His mind had swirled with so many questions and he couldn't sleep, but every time he'd remembered Chat's response, all he could think about was the angry rant that led to Nino becoming Rocketear.
The rant only Adrien had witnessed.
Ladybug thinks he's obnoxious! And she's right!
"He said he didn't want to be obnoxious and that I would appreciate that."
Adrien's face was carefully blank. It left Nino's stomach feeling hollow. He looked to the water to avoid his friend's gaze. "Look, I know you're not the type of guy to go spilling someone else's business. But it's just– it felt like he knew somehow. What I said right before I got–" Nino swallowed around the lump that suddenly formed in his throat, "–akumatized. About him being annoying, I mean."
Adrien was quiet long enough that Nino jumped when he spoke again. "Does Chat Noir even know your identity?"
Nino blinked. He hadn't even thought of that. Ladybug was always the one to give him the miraculous. Even before she could pull it out of her yo-yo. In fact, Ladybug always gave everyone their miraculous. And she was always the one to take them back. And Chat never even hinted at knowing that Nino and Carapace were one and the same.
His bro was waiting for an answer, so Nino cleared his throat and said, "No. He doesn't."
Adrien pursed his lips. "Then it's likely nothing to worry about."
Nino nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right. Besides, I know I shouldn't have told you who I was, much less Alya but–," he lifted his hat off his head just enough to run a hand through his hair before putting it back on, "–I know you won't tell anyone."
"Why?" Nino's heart squeezed at how small Adrien's voice was, vulnerable and hesitant and maybe a little fearful. That was unacceptable.
So he put on his best smile, and reached over to sling an arm around Adrien's shoulders. "Because I trust you."
And if Adrien's eyes shone a little bit before he looked away, well, Nino just held him a bit tighter.
If Alya knew what Nino was doing, she would be pissed. Well, probably less pissed and more disappointed. Maybe even sympathetic. But she would definitely put a stop to it.
It being the footage of Rocketear Nino was watching over and over.
It had been a few weeks since his latest akumatization, and he had managed to resist the temptation to watch the video that was inevitably uploaded to the internet in the aftermath. But his conversation with Adrien yesterday had done little to stem Nino's guilt over Chat Noir. So Nino had rushed through his homework as soon as he got home from school. The moment he finished, he shoved it back into his bag and pulled the Ladyblog up on his computer.
He'd watched his previous akumatizations before, of course. When he was akumatized into the Bubbler, the whole magical superheroes and supervillains thing was still so new that he ended up obsessing over the video. Mostly from his fear of being ostracized or bullied, fear that he had done something horrific, fear that there was no going back for him. It took lots of encouragement and understanding and forgiveness from Adrien (although Adrien insisted there was nothing to forgive) before Nino could stop. Could trust that it wasn't his fault and that everyone was okay and that he hadn't ruined his best friend's birthday.
After the attack on Heroes' Day, Nino watched the moment Alya threw herself in front of the arrow meant for him more times than he could count. He watched himself turn too, but he was always too focused on her to worry about what he had done under Hawkmoth's control.
By the time he'd been turned into Oblivio – alongside Alya, of course – the urge to watch and obsess over what he had done under the influence (so to speak) had dwindled to nearly nonexistent. He'd seen the footage, but only because Alya raved nonstop about the LadyNoir kiss and had him watch it with her constantly.
He hadn't even looked at the footage of Rocketear. Didn't feel the need. He'd broken free of Shadowmoth's control on his own and Chat Noir seemed cool with everything, and even though his memories of his akumatization were fuzzy, he hadn't lingered on it.
Until now.
Over and over he watched Chat Noir dodge and flip out of the way and refuse to engage in the fight. Over and over he watched himself launch tear after tear toward the hero, devastating the surrounding area as they landed.
Over and over he watched Chat Noir drop his staff.
The tear that connected. Chat flying backwards. The noticeable crater in the van that caught him.
Himself, walking right up to him, and nearly firing one more tear at point blank.
And still, Chat Noir never once defended himself. Never once tried to get out of the hold Nino had him in.
He didn't even try to escape the tear that was about to–
Nino's throat closed for the thousandth time as his thoughts trailed off, refusing to go down the path they'd already travelled several times as he watched the footage.
Tears (the non-lethal kind) sprang to his eyes, blurring the video that was now showing Alya running up to him, declaring her love despite the danger he presented.
He'd swoon if he wasn't so devastated.
Why would Chat do that? Why wasn't he fighting back? He'd never hesitated to fight an akuma before. Since day one, Chat was the one to jump headfirst into a fight, only ever staying back when Ladybug needed him to. Always the distraction. The muscle. Not afraid to get up into an akuma’s face and taunt them or exchange blows.
And never had he intentionally dropped his staff. Never had he surrendered.
And yet.
Nino brushed away a few tears and clicked out of the video. There was another akuma, just a few days later. Maybe Chat was trying out a new pacifist thing.
Five minutes of watching the hero throwing himself into the fight later, Nino huffed and tried a battle from a week before. Still fighting. He clicked on another one within the same time period. And it was the same. Chat Noir wasn’t holding back in any way.
Okay, so not a pacifist then. It must have been something specifically about Nino.
He frowned and pulled up footage from when he was the Bubbler. If Alya didn't kill him for obsessing over Rocketear, she definitely would if she found out he was watching this again. Maybe she'd believe him if he told her it's strictly for research purposes. Probably not.
Nino had watched the video enough times he knew which parts had Chat on the screen. He combed them through, but knew he was only going to find the same thing as all the other battles.
Oblivio and Heroes' Day proved no different.
As far as Nino could tell, Rocketear was the only akuma Chat had ever refused to fight. The only one where he willingly surrendered.
The only one where he would've died for no reason and on purpose.
Nino's throat closed up again as hot tears finally spilled over.
Why? What made that fight different? Why would Chat let Nino kill him?
Because while his memories of Rocketear were fuzzy around the edges, Nino could recall his emotions with a sharp, almost deadly, clarity. The unbridled rage and jealousy that flooded through him as soon as Chat Noir had touched down. The desire to make Chat hurt on the outside as much as Nino hurt on the inside.
The desire to leave nothing left of Chat Noir but his ring.
The details were out of focus, as if he'd left his glasses at home, but Rocketear's intent to kill Chat Noir was crystal clear in his mind. One of his tears sent flying at point blank would've done the job.
And with how many times Chat Noir had died in akuma fights before, there was no way he didn't know that. And yet he had laid down his weapon and held his arms away from his body, not even trying to dodge as a tear flew into his chest and launched him into a van.
Nino remembered how easily that van had crumpled from the sheer force. Remembered how he'd sauntered up to the hero. Chat Noir had been gasping for breath, and Nino had relished in it. Something inside of him had danced with glee watching Chat clutch his side.
Can we talk now?
Chat Noir had wanted to talk. Every hero knew that akumas couldn't be reasoned with. Not really. The influence of the butterfly miraculous twisted emotions and amplified them until logic and reason were left behind, leaving only rage and a thirst for revenge to fuel their violent rampages.
Rocketear certainly had not been different. But Chat Noir wanted to talk. As if he'd believed that he could get through to Nino. That somehow he could convince Nino to give up the akuma.
As if he knew why Nino was upset and cared enough to fix it.
Nino took off his glasses and rubbed his stinging eyes. He'd been watching footage for hours, and if he wanted to be at all functional at school tomorrow, he needed to get some sleep.
He clicked off the Ladyblog and shut down his computer. Pushed away from his desk. Changed into his pjs. Crawled under his covers.
And stared at the ceiling.
All the evidence pointed to Chat Noir caring about Nino specifically, but he'd never shown that kind of concern for him before. So what had changed?
Mme. Bustier was passing out a worksheet on… something. Nino was having a hard time focusing on the words. He took off his glasses and cleaned them on his shirt. As if that would make the scribbles on the paper make sense. He could see that the words were in French, but he couldn't string them into coherent sentences.
He glanced over at Adrien, watching his pencil work quickly and efficiently down the page.
Nino sighed. Despite his best efforts, he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night. His mind was too busy mulling over the puzzle that was Chat Noir. Asking questions Nino didn't have the answers to.
Nino didn't know what to do. He couldn't keep obsessing over whatever was going with Chat Noir. He'd been losing sleep and couldn't focus in school. He'd failed the chemistry test a few days ago. And he didn't need to wait for his teachers to grade his homework over the past few days to know his work was abysmal at best.
Normally, he'd be able to ground himself at school through his friendship with Adrien. His best bro had the amazing ability to make Nino push away any problems he was dealing with just by sitting next to him and giving him a warm smile and a fist bump or gushing over the latest anime he'd watched or arguing with Nino over the best characters and strategies when playing UMS III or–
But Adrien was still distant. Sure, he'd talk to Nino. If Nino started the conversation. He smiled. If Nino asked if he was okay. It was a step up from him not talking much at all with smiles being a thing of the past. At first glance, Adrien was slowly returning to normal from whatever had him so down lately.
And yet, even after talking with Adrien and making sure he knew he was there for him, Nino's best friend seemed more distant than ever. As if he was pretending to be fine to get Nino off his back so he could wallow alone. As if Nino could see the sun's rays lighting up the sky, but could feel none of its warmth because of the glass separating him from it.
Nino didn't know what to do. A recurring theme lately. He turned back to his assignment with a twinge in chest. He missed Adrien. And even though they sat next to each other every day, even though Adrien had convinced his bodyguard to let him eat lunch at school now, even after Nino had told him how much he trusted him and thought he had made some progress there, even though he was trying to make sure his best friend knew he was loved, Nino's heart was breaking.
Because Nino was doing his best to keep Adrien from drifting away forever.
And Adrien had never seemed so far.