Work Text:
“Hey. Heyy. Ty.”
Aiden nudges him with his foot.
Tyler rolls his eyes, turning his head to look at his boyfriend. “What?”
“Do you ever think about the future?”
Tyler’s surprised by the question, especially when it comes from Aiden. Aiden, who very stubbornly states that he’d much sooner live in the moment and ignore everything else at least once per day.
“I mean - yeah, sometimes,” Tyler admits, shrugging. “Why’d you ask?”
Aiden, uncharacteristically, doesn’t respond.
Tyler glances at him.
Laying on the floor next to him, Aiden isn’t even looking at him - instead, he’s gazing blankly up at the ceiling, the bright smile that plasters his face 24/7 barely even there, save for the edges of his lips being turned upwards slightly.
He looks a million miles away.
“Aiden?”
This time, Tyler nudges Aiden with his foot, in an attempt to shake him out of his trance.
“Hm?”
Tyler rolls his eyes. “Look, you can’t just ask if I think about the future and then refuse to elaborate-”
“I’m thinking about how to respond, halfwit,” Aiden cuts in. “I guess what I mean is - where do you see yourself, in say, two years time?”
“You’re being unusually introspective,” Tyler tells him. “What’s up?”
“You’re dodging the question.”
“I’m not, I’m simply asking if you’re okay, dipshit-”
“I’m fine!” Aiden rolls his eyes, and there it is, the wide grin sliding onto his face once more. “Now answer the question!”
Tyler falls silent, thinking.
“I guess I could see myself going to a college,” he says slowly. “Maybe on something sport related, I don’t know.”
“You aiming for a scholarship, then?”
Tyler shrugs. “Maybe. I mean - I’d like to get one, but… going to college means leaving this place behind. Leaving my Mom behind, leaving the others behind, leaving you behind, leaving Taylor behind… and I’m not sure I can handle that.”
“So you feel like you have a sense of responsibility here? Is that it?”
Aiden turns his head to look directly at Tyler’s, the dark reddish-brown meeting the deep brown.
“When you put it that way - I guess so.” Tyler sighs, chuckling slightly. “It’s like - yeah, I know that Taylor would be fine by herself by that point, if, hypothetically speaking, I do get a scholarship to a college, but there’s Mom as well, and all my friends are here, and…”
“And me,” Aiden finishes.
“And you,” Tyler agrees.
There’s silence for a few minutes. Aiden turns his head away to look back up at the ceiling, and Tyler does the same.
Truth be told, he isn’t sure how they ended up here, laying on the floor of Aiden’s sitting room at three in the morning. They just sort of… did.
Not that Tyler minds it much. It’s strangely peaceful, in a way.
“And what about you?” He asks. “Where do you see yourself, in two years?”
Aiden snorts. “No clue.”
“You sound weirdly casual about that.”
Aiden drapes one of his arms over his face, hiding his eyes. “I haven’t really thought about that kind of thing much, to be honest.”
Tyler isn’t really surprised by that, to be honest.
“I guess you don’t really have to worry, though,” he says after a beat. “Being rich, and all that.”
Aiden shudders. “Please. I’d much rather live my life not having to completely rely on my family’s wealth. I want to actually make something of myself.”
“Yet you just said that you haven’t put much thought into things like college.”
“There have to be some things I can do without a degree,” Aiden points out. “Hey, maybe I’ll do some kind of extreme sport for a living. Abseiling, Cave Diving, Rock Climbing, Diving in general - I don’t think you’d need a degree for any of those.”
“Those are jobs?” Tyler blinks. “I thought they were just like, hobbies for crazy people with no sense of their own mortality. Like you.”
Aiden scoffs at the last part, but otherwise ignores it. “Cave Diving is actually a profession, I’m pretty sure. Average salary is around eighty-five thousand a year.”
“That’s an underpay, if you ask me,” Tyler shakes his head. “People who willingly put themselves into tight caves and crevaces should get way more for that. I mean, there’s no telling what you’ll find in them - or if you’ll be able to get out.”
The very idea of it makes him shudder.
But Aiden, on the other hand, is a psycho.
“That’s the thrill of it,” he grins. “I’ve seen videos of people doing dives in caves, and they’re pretty interesting to watch.”
“You’re insane.”
“Yeah, I know.”
There’s another pause.
“Knowing my parents, though, they’d probably try to push me towards working for their company,” Aiden says after a while. There’s a quiet bitterness to his tone that’s hard to miss, even by Tyler. “I don’t think they’d push particularly hard, they’re not really that kind of people, but they’d try all the same. Then they’d get disappointed that I didn’t want to do it, and take a while to come around to the fact that I simply don’t fit inside their box of what they think I should be. It would be the same situation as when I came out to them, I’m telling you.”
Tyler glances at him. “How did they react, exactly?”
“Well, like what I just said,” Aiden shrugs. “They did the whole ‘Are you sure it’s not just a phase, thing, the whole ‘Maybe you’re just a tomboy’ thing, and the whole ‘Are you sure this is the lifestyle you want?’ thing. Hell, I don’t even think they would have even started to properly accept it if I didn’t hack off all my hair and bleach it by myself, just to prove a point.”
Tyler snorts. The idea of a younger Aiden cutting and dying his hair by himself is very, very visible. “Bet your parents loved that.”
“Nah, they were more just surprised than anything,” Aiden says breezily. “They took me to get my hair properly cut after that, and they haven’t said anything about it since. So - happy ending, really.”
Tyler isn’t really sure he’d call that a happy ending, as such, but he doesn’t say anything.
He decides to change the topic.
“So, about that TV show you were talking about earlier…”
______
When the email comes in, Tyler isn’t sure how to feel.
How are you supposed to feel, when you get offered a scholarship regarding sports at a pretty prestidious college?
He’s happy, sure, overjoyed, even - this proves that his hard work has paid off, that he can make something good out of his life. It’s his escape from everything. He can turn a new page over.
But, the voice in his head murmurs, Are you really sure this is what you want? You know that you’re worried about what will happen to your family if you’re gone. You don’t want to leave your friends or Aiden behind, either.
Tyler grits his teeth, sitting down on his bed.
He wants to go to this college. He wants to accept this scholarship. He does.
But he also wants to stay where he knows he can keep an eye on things and make sure the people he cares about are safe.
Fuck.
He’s conflicted.
So he does the only thing he can think of.
Tyler ~ Psycho 🧡
Tyler: Need ur opinion on something
Psycho 🧡: What’s up? :D
Tyler: So I got a scholarship offer
Tyler: And it’s a pretty good one too
Psycho 🧡: Congrats!!
Psycho 🧡: R U going 2 accept it?
Tyler: That’s the thing, idk if I can
Psycho 🧡: Wdym?
Tyler: I need to keep an eye on Taylor + Mom, make sure they’re doing okay and not struggling
Tyler: Plus idk if I want to leave my friends behind. Or you.
Psycho 🧡: Didn’t u say ur mom’s doing slightly better now?
Tyler: Slightly yeah
Tyler: But like
Tyler: What if she gets worse again?
Psycho 🧡: I mean sure that’s a fair worry
Psycho 🧡: But u shouldn’t let your fears dictate your life, Ty
Psycho 🧡: Besides, Tay’s still going to be around to make sure your mom’s okay
Psycho 🧡: And the other parents lol
Tyler: Yeah, guess so
Psycho 🧡: As for me, I don’t really mind if u accept the scholarship
Psycho 🧡: And the others will be happy for u
Psycho 🧡: I know I am <3
Tyler: Why do u have to be so sweet
Tyler: Why can’t u go back to being batshit crazy
Psycho 🧡: Haha
Psycho 🧡: It’s bc I’m being serious
Tyler: Yeah, I know
Psycho 🧡: Think about it, okay?
Tyler: Alr
Psycho 🧡: Love u ❤
Tyler: Love u 2 ❤️
Tyler lets his phone drop to the ground.
Now he’s really conflicted.
You won’t get this opportunity again.
(You need to make sure everyone is safe.)
You’ve been wanting an escape for a while.
(That was before you met your friends.)
You can make something of your life.
(You need to make sure everyone is safe-)
“Shut up,” Tyler hisses, hitting the side of his head.
He sits down at his computer.
He begins typing a response.
It takes a surprising amount of willpower to do such a simple thing.
He ends up staring at it for a few minutes, until his eyes glaze over and the screen becomes blurred, one finger hovering above the mouse.
He sends it.
He gets up from the chair.
His legs are shaking, but he barely notices.
He simply walks over to his bed, and collapses on top of it.
_____
They’re all so happy for him.
His mom certainly was, judging by the way she cried and hugged him tightly, repeating that her boy was becoming a man, and that she was so, so proud of him.
Taylor certainly was, judging by the bone-crushing hug she gave him, and that she knew he could go far.
Ashlyn certainly was, judging by the small hug she gave him, and that she was happy that he’d gotten in.
Logan certainly was, judging by the way he congratulated him and that he was also happy he’d gotten in, and on a scholarship, no less.
Ben certainly was (or at least, very much appeared to be,) judging by him telling Tyler that he was happy for him with his notes app.
Aiden definitely seemed to be happy, on a surface level, at least. He’d teased Tyler about it a bit, nothing unusual - just his normal comments about how he was surprised that Tyler was smart enough to even get into a college, and calling him a halfwit.
It wasn’t until the night of the celebration that it changed, somewhat.
It was the night before Tyler was set to leave for the college, and everyone had gathered in the graveyard - “everyone” just being the six of them, with the parents congregating in Ashlyn’s house in order to check in on them every once in a while - to celebrate.
It was a going-away party, of sorts.
It wasn’t really anything big - just some speakers plugged in on top of a table, blasting music, an empty oil barrel filled with wood and turned into a makeshift bonfire, surrounded by some fold out camping chairs, and another table set nearby with a stack of takeaway pizzas and some cans of soda and bottles of water on it. In fact, it just reminded Tyler with a pang of the small celebrations they used to have here. Strangely nostaglic, but in a good way.
They’re all laughing. Ben and Logan are stood by the fire, toasting marshmallows (courtesy of Taylor, who’d heard the word bonfire and instantly began thinking about s’mores.) Tyler thinks Logan might be leaning against Ben. Though it might just be his perspective.
Ashlyn and Taylor are stood by the speakers, talking. At some point, Taylor leans in to kiss Ashlyn on the cheek, causing the red haired girl to visibly flush, even from where Tyler is.
Aiden, meanwhile, is nowhere to be seen.
That is, until-
“Hey!”
Tyler looks up.
Standing proudly on top of one of the buses is Aiden, who, Tyler notices, has daubed a clown face on himself - something he frequently does, when given access to face paint.
“How did you get up there?” Tyler shouts. He’s a mixture of many things - the most predominent being surprised, amused and slightly annoyed.
“Climbed up,” Aiden shouts back casually, as if it’s a completely normal thing to climb up on an abandoned school bus at ten in the evening, with your face painted to look like a clown. “I got bored.”
“Well, can you get down?” Tyler responds. “You’re going to break your neck if you’re not careful, dumbass.”
“Nah, I’m durable,” Aiden says casually. “But, as you’ve mentioned it… you might want to prepare yourself.”
“Prepare - what-?”
“It means there’s every chance he’s going to jump on you,” Ashlyn calls over. “Or at you, rather. So… yeah. Prepare yourself.”
“Hold on, he’s going to fucking what-”
Tyler doesn’t even get to finish his sentence before Aiden leaps off the top of the bus with a cheer, and Tyler, naturally, does the best he can to catch him - a feat that only ends with both of them crashing to the ground in a jumble of limbs.
Tyler hits his head against the concrete hard, and he groans, but it’s not too bad. Aiden, meanwhile, is shaking with laughter in his arms, the kind of manic, joy-filled noise that only he seems to be able to produce, and it’s so infectious that even Tyler, despite his annoyance and the dull pain in the back of his skull, can’t help but laugh as well as he stands up.
“You - fucking - psychopath,” He splutters, holding a hand out for Aiden to get up. The blonde has managed to smear his face paint across Tyler’s face and shirt during his leap of faith. “You - I can’t believe you jumped off of a fucking bus-”
“And you caught me,” Aiden smirks, his eyes glittering with impish glee.
“Of course I caught you, you would have broken your neck otherwise-”
Aiden cuts him off by catching his lips in a kiss that tastes of grease paint and sugar, and Tyler’s breath catches at the suddenness of the gesture.
Aiden pulls away, still smirking. “You are so easy to fluster.”
Tyler simply scoffs, knowing that the warmth in his cheeks is almost certainly betraying him.
“Are you two done?” Ashlyn’s voice calls from behind them.
“Yeah,” Aiden calls back. “Well, almost.”
With that, he takes Tyler’s hand, pulling him back, around the side of a bus.
“You’re a dumbass,” Tyler tells him. “I can’t believe you jumped off a bus-”
Aiden simply responds by kissing him, harder this time, and once again, Tyler is caught off guard.
Not that he cares though, as he wraps his arms around Aiden’s waist, pulling him into him.
It’s a while before Aiden breaks away.
“You’re in an affectionate mood tonight,” Tyler observes. “Why-”
“I’m seriously going to miss you.”
Tyler stops.
Aiden sounds… upset, almost, and the smile on his face doesn’t match his eyes.
“I mean it,” he continues. “And it’s not just because you’re my boyfriend, and only relationship at that - you’re just generally fun to be around, and always have been. Right since the start, in fact.”
“Since I was a grumpy jock and you were a socially inept psycho, you mean?” Tyler says, chuckling.
“I mean, you’re still grumpy now,” Aiden observes, “But, point is - I think I liked you right since the start, but just didn’t know how to say it.”
Tyler snorts. “We were idiots back then. Bickering constantly… deliberately trying to annoy the other…”
“Well, that hasn’t changed much,” Aiden shrugs, but he’s grinning. “Honestly, if I’d confessed earlier - I wonder how things would have gone.”
“I probably would have rejected you, if you’d asked back then,” Tyler admits, wincing. “I was still starting to accept that I was gay, and it caused a lot of conflicting feelings.”
“Probably.”
There’s a pause.
“Just make sure that you keep in contact, okay?” Aiden says eventually, squeezing Tyler’s hand. “With all of us.”
Tyler nods, squeezing Aiden’s hand back. “Promise.”
“Good.”
And with that, Aiden leans up to plant a kiss on Tyler’s cheek, before running off back around the bus to the others.
____
Promise.
God, Tyler feels like an idiot.
It’s been… three years, since then.
And he broke it.
It had happened slowly. At first, he was calling Aiden every day. Then it shifted into once a week. Then once every other week.
Gradually, it became whenever Tyler could be bothered.
It had been the same with the others, too. Texts slowing down, and often, Tyler would just forget to respond altogether.
In fact, the only one he still had some contact with was Taylor, and that was mostly just for generic life updates.
Eventually, Tyler simply couldn’t deal with the distance any more.
And he’d made the biggest mistake of his life.
It had been three in the morning, and Tyler had been sat in his dorm room, staring down at his phone.
It had taken a lot of will to send the text to Aiden.
Hey. I’m sorry, but this distance won’t work out. So yes, this is me saying that I think we should break up. You should get out and see other people, not be confined to someone who’s not even near you.
He couldn’t even bring himself to look at Aiden’s replies, to see the messages of confusion and the questions he was asking. He just threw his phone down and went to sleep.
A month later, he’d ended up having to get a new phone.
He didn’t replace anyone’s numbers, apart from Taylor’s.
So yes, it’s been three years since then.
And Tyler regrets it.
He regrets the lack of contact with any of his old friends.
He regrets that he never told any of them that he had a new phone.
Most of all, he regrets breaking up with Aiden.
Because Tyler misses him, badly.
He’s had what some people refer to as the typical college experience, sure - parties, hook-ups, relationships that only lasted a week - but nothing seemed to be able to replace Aiden in his mind. His thoughts would always stray back to that stupid blonde with his bright smile and his dark eyes, and he’d be plagued with the regret over that one, stupid, impulsive thing he’d done.
So here he is, three years after that.
An adult Tyler Hernández, driving back into his home town.
He doesn’t know why he’s coming back here, not really. Maybe it’s nostalgia. Maybe it’s regret. Maybe he just wants to see his friends again.
He knows he wants to apologise to Aiden the most, though.
Nobody knows he’s coming. Not even Taylor.
The lump in his throat as he drives through the familiar streets is impossible to ignore.
He pulls up outside his house.
Taylor’s in the garden, and when she sees him, she drops the book she was holding, and Tyler barely gets a second to say a word before Taylor slams into him, wrapping him in a bone crushing hug.
She keeps repeating the words “You’re here,” and it makes tears spring up into Tyler’s eyes, unbidden. He blinks them back, simply focusing on trying to breathe when his twin seems very determined on crushing his lungs.
Eventually, she draws away - though not before giving him a punch in the ribs.
“You should have said you were coming, you idiot!” She says, and Tyler can see her wiping her eyes. “It’s been… three years, since I last saw you in person?”
“Yeah,” Tyler says, laughing nervously. “Sorry I didn’t come to see you over the holidays, but…”
“You were too focused on your own life.”
“Yeah.”
There’s a brief pause.
“But enough of that,” Tyler says, “What’s been going on, since I left?”
“Well,” Taylor begins, “Logan got into a really good college as well, Ashlyn got into some kind of college centred around dance, and I’ve been mostly just doing odd jobs and doing online college classes. I don’t really mind it, though.”
Tyler waits for her to continue, but she doesn’t. “What about the others?”
“The others?” Taylor blinks. Then her face clears. “Oh! You mean Aiden and Ben, right?”
“Yeah,” Tyler nods.
“Well-” Taylor pauses, looking slightly sad, “They kind of just - just up and left, one day. Like, the entire family just went, like that. Ben included. It was a shock.”
Tyler stares. “What?!”
“Yeah,” Taylor sighs. “You didn’t know?”
“No,” Tyler says hollowly. “I didn’t.”
“Huh.” Taylor blinks. “I would have thought you would. I mean, you and Aiden were dating, right?”
Guilt pools in Tyler’s gut.
Right… he never told anyone.
“About that…” He mutters. “I broke up with him ages ago. As in, in the first semester. And then I had to replace my phone, and we just… yeah.”
Taylor says nothing.
“It’s part of the reason I came back,” he adds. “I wanted to apologise to him. I didn’t know…” he tails off. “Does - does anyone else have his number?”
Taylor shakes her head sadly. “His old number doesn’t work anymore. Not even Ashlyn’s heard from him in ages, and those two were thick as thieves.”
Tyler doesn’t know what to say.
“Fuck,” he mutters.
The tears burn on his face.
God, he’s an idiot.