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Tikki had lived a long life.
She would keep on living for even longer. As long as Creation existed, so would she.
She had seen a lot in her many years of existence. Creation and Destruction went together. If she made something, Plagg would at one point destroy it. Return it to non-existence. She was okay with that. That way, she could make something even better! He helped her fix her mistakes!
It was still a sad sight, with all the worlds crumbling under his touch. All the wars breaking out at his command. All that death! Everything she painstakingly made, disappearing into nothingness...
It got easier with the years. She didn't spent decades in a far away universe, crying over everything lost, any more, after he decided the time for one of her masterpieces had come to end. Some tears still flowed here and there, but the deep ache inside her had dulled. Duusu was no longer torturing her, like they used to.
When that human came along and bound a piece of her to those earrings, she couldn't care less. It wasn't like they actually hampered her power. She was still as free as before and for the first few decades, they were nothing more than pretty relics, locked up in some box in a cave. She even forgot about their existence for the most time.
She never found out, how exactly they came into the possession of her first holder – a dark haired girl named Mabel, with beautiful blue eyes. Tikki only remembered that tiny part of her soul awakening to the sight of the girl, wearing the ladybug shaped accessories. Tikki loved her immediately. (It was the first time she couldn't hold back loving something again. ...She should've known better.)
They spent lots and lots of hours talking. Mabel lived with her parents in a small village on the edge of the ruling monarchs kingdom. They didn't have much. Bandits attacked them regularly, demanding parts of their harvest in exchange for staying alive. The king didn't care about the villagers enough, to sent soldiers, to drive them out. It was a hard life.
Mabel didn't let that face her. She spent hours on the field, helping her parents with the crops and the little free time she had afterwards, she would do little things for the other people in the village, like carving little figures, out of a piece of wood. Or stitching ornaments on the flicked parts of clothing. Everyone enjoyed her presence. Tikki most of all.
They were never apart. No matter where Mabel went, Tikki would be with her, hidden in her clothes, or in a basket she was carrying. They had decided not to tell anyone about the little fairies presence, fearing they would make the girl throw the earrings away, since they had barely enough food themselves. They couldn't afford another eater. (Not that Tikki needed food at all! She never gave Mabel her powers, not even knowing she could, back then.)
It made life a little more exciting for the human and Tikki enjoyed having something else to turn her attention to, then another dying star, another planet turning to dust. (Plagg was ruthless with his actions, but he had to be. This was what he existed for.)
They spent years together, so she had the chance to watch the cheerful, sweet and on the occasion even clumsy girl mature into a brave and intelligent woman, that didn't give a shit about following the rules, set by the kingdom. If they didn't protect them, they didn't have the right to control them.
It was through her leadership, that the villagers finally stood up for themselves and broke out of the claws of the bandits.
Tikki was so proud of her!
Which made the events following that, even more devastating.
It came as it had to come. The king heard of a village raising their weapons against the bandits, sending out a patrol to investigate. Mabel, like the strong-headed woman she was, didn't listen to Tikki's warning words and confronted them with the facts. They didn't like that.
In the end, they noticed her for a peasant surprisingly valuable earrings, accusing her of having stolen them. She was brought before the king, who let her be executed, because his wife wanted the earrings. The only thing Tikki could do, was watch, as her beloved holder's life was taken, due to the greed of another woman.
She retracted her consciousness from that part of her soul, not able to bear the sight of the queen for a moment longer.
Plagg found her years later, curled up in one of the farther universes, watching the spin of galaxies to keep her mind off of the loss, she just experienced.
“I thought we were over this.” Was his deadpan comment.
“It's not my fault, that you decided to take everything I love away from me!” Duusu might've had more influence on her, in that moment, than she would ever like to admit.
He didn't react, only looked at her with dull eyes. “You shouldn't get attached. It's not worth it.”
She shoved him into a star-cluster, not speaking to him for a long time.
(She learned later, that he already lost five holders at that point. He knew, what he was talking about.)
It took many decades for her to give the whole thing another try. Till then, the earrings had been passed around a lot, coming so far as to reaching Egypt. Once again, she was greeted with the sight of young, blown up eyes and a lot of questions.
Cyrus, an Isrealite boy, who found them on the carcass of a Roman soldier, as he tried to relieve it from its coins. He was a little thief, living of stealing from others, since his parents died in an attack.
Tikki knew, leaving the earrings like they were, would attract attention to him. How should he have been able to afford them? She didn't want to loose another holder to the same fate as Mabel. So she changed their appearance. Made them adjust themselves to the one wearing them. Some plain studs, that weren't even noticeable, if you weren't looking for them. It worked. He was never asked about them.
He was the first one, to activate her powers.
It wasn't even intentional. He fled from the advancing Roman army, having noticed them too late, begging her to do something, anything, to help him. She didn't think, just answered by letting the feeling, cursing through her tiny soul piece, go.
Turning humans into half-gods, with the power to create everything their limited imagination had to offer, was something she never expected the earrings to be capable of. But here she was now, that part of her fused with Cyrus, so she could feel everything he was feeling. ...it was indescribable. She was already craving for it, the second he tore the earrings out, after having taken care of the soldiers, that had cornered him.
It was why she stayed, even when the boy started to misuse them. When he hunted down patrols, killed everyone in it and took their things, to sell them. When he gathered people around him, putting everyone down, that wasn't agreeing with him. When he turned into something, she loathed from the deepest part of her being.
As expected, he died in battle, run through by a spear he didn't see coming. (It had been from his own followers.)
Tikki wasn't even sorry for him, but she still couldn't help the twinge of painful loss at the sight. He was the first to give her the thrill of being part human, after all.
There were more battles. More death. She was carried mostly by selfish people, who wanted to use her powers for their own gain. It was centuries, before someone, who acquired the earrings through battle, willingly gave them away again. It was a general in the Chinese imperial army, who gifted them to the current Emperor's son Sima Shao.
It was the first time in many years, Tikki had some semblance of peace again. And the first time, she was with a human for more than a year or so. It made her naïve. She opened up her heart to him, liking the way he cared about his duties as the future Emperor. How he wanted to connect with his people, even though he was never let out alone.
She was there for him, when his father was killed and he had to take leadership much sooner then he should've. Gave him advice, when he needed it. ...took part of his pain, when he got ill. Soothed his mind, when he slowly lost the fight.
It was the first time, she shed tears for one of her holders again. It was also the first time, she went to Plagg again. They hadn't seen each other since he was last looking for her.
“You look terrible.” He commented from where he floated in a sea of stars. Of course he was enjoying himself, while she was suffering.
“Who's fault might that be?”
“Not mine, obviously.” He touched a black hole, which crumbled to dust immediately. “I never do anything to make you mad.”
“I am not in the mood for your bullshit right now!”
“Oh?” His interest was seemingly picked by her unusual choice of words and he fully faced her. “What was it this time? That universe I swallowed some time ago? That was an accident. It was just in my way.”
“...wait, which universe?” She hadn't even noticed one missing, being too focussed on her connection with the human world.
He froze. “Ehm... Forget I said anything. You wanted to tell me what's going on.”
“Which universe?”
“It was just a teeny tiny one. Nothing to worry about.”
“Plagg!”
He sighted, leaving the sea of stars to float closer to her. “Look. You're clearly agitated about something. Let's talk about that first, so you can calm down a little, before you kill me in a fit of rage.”
“I don't do fits of rage.”
“That was a joke. You usually get them immediately.” His long black tail wrapped around her arm, squeezing it in a comforting way, his voice lowering to a whisper. “What happened?”
Her walls finally crumbled and she rushed into embracing the wielder of Destruction, now completely breaking down, like she hadn't done for a very long time. He patiently listened to her, as she explained everything that happened, since they last saw each other.
“W-Why do you a-always have to take things a-away from me?” She hiccuped, nuzzling her face into the fur of his chest.
He was quiet for a long time. Months maybe. Tikki lost track of something so trivial, after having lived for millions of years. Which was why the short lives of her holders hit her so hard. Finally, he took a deep breath. “It wasn't me, Tikks. I didn't so much as touch them.”
“What?” She whispered surprised. “But... you are Destruction! You decide what is allowed to keep living and what dies!”
“That changed, when Liiri handed out some Freedom to all living beings.” The way he said that was almost a hiss. “He tampered with my domain, by giving them the ability to decide, if they wanted to get rid of someone else.”
That shocked Tikki. Intruding into another Kwami's concept was a serious offence. “Why didn't you tell anyone?”
“Because it wasn't his fault. His first holder used his powers without his consent.”
There was nothing they could do about it, then. They weren't able to undo it. She would keep loosing her holders, one after the other.
And then realization hit her. “You haven't lost your own holders willingly either! That's why you told me, not to get too attached!”
His shoulders slumped, his tail loosing its usual energy, becoming just a limp attachment. “It hurts so much, not even being able to say goodbye! Getting close to them, only to have them ripped from you, time and time again. It's better to stay away. Easier to keep going afterwards.”
She wrapped herself around him, giving him comfort and accepting his. They stayed like that until they both had to go back to their duties. (The small universe having stopped existing, was forgotten.)
Tikki listened to his advice for the following decades, only to notice, that completely ignoring her connection with the earrings wasn't a solution either. She had tasted humanity too often. That brief feeling of mortality. The knowledge of an end. Now she craved for it.
She returned to the human world somewhere in just newly discovered America. Not new to her, of course and more in the terms of an eternal being, so not that new either. Her earrings, now being referred to as 'Miraculous' by some twist in fate, belonged to a timid little boy, belonging to the native Apsaroka tribe. His name was Kenai and he was the next in line for Chieftainship. His father had given them to him only a few days before her appearance.
He didn't keep her a secret, like the other holders before him had, so she was named a spirit of the nature, everyone honouring young Kenai for making her visit them.
He hated her.
She hated him too, cause he never wanted to use her powers. Most of the time, he didn't even want to wear the earrings, so she was trapped in them, not allowing herself to let her consciousness completely drift away from her soul piece, in case he did allow the transformation she was waiting for.
Never felt a few years so long for her.
In the end, it wasn't the war brought by the pioneers that took his life. Neither was it one of the illnesses they dragged in. Instead, it was the slow, gnawing torture of starvation. The tribe had to retreat from their usual hunting grounds. Continuously herded west by the advancing invaders, until they reached the other half of the continent. There was not much they could do, from that point onwards.
And Tikki had tried to change their minds, more than once! She was still Creation! She still detested death and destruction! (Not Plagg! Never Plagg!) But she asked them to defend themselves! She offered her power for them to use, not able to just watch them loose everything they loved. Kenai said no. The others, although hesitant with the decision, followed his example. She didn't even mourn them, this time, not having been as close.
Plagg was right. It was so much easier, compared to before.
She wasn't entirely sure how things developed from there. She stayed distant to her holders lives. Didn't help them on a personal level, any more. Only really showed herself, when she felt their need, or want, to use her powers. Getting that sense had taken way too much time. But at least she could concentrate more on creating galaxies, and maybe another universe, cause Plagg had been bored again, while she waited.
Point is, she didn't notice when her holders stopped being 'random people, that used her powers for their own gain' and started being 'selected, to serve their government in times of need, most commonly known as war'. And war had become more common among humans, since Plagg wasn't the one starting it any more. They were called 'heroes' now. Some being given fancy names, for their accomplishments, widely recognized among soldiers and heralded as saviours.
They were bringers of death. Used her Creation in twisted ways, to gain the upper hand in a battlefield. She was disgusted by them. But she was even more disgusted by herself, since she couldn't stop craving for the times they did so. Enabling their accomplishments in the process.
One of those so called heroes was a woman named Arabella. Tikki had kept her in mind, because she was the only female in that period of time. And she was one of the worst human beings she ever encountered.
Arabella treated everyone like they were beneath her. Like slaves, that only existed to serve her, as she was the one chosen, to carry and use the Ladybug Miraculous. Stepping stones on her way to greatness. If someone didn't follow her will, they were found dead in an alley, not long after.
Soldiers, loyal men fighting for their homeland, fell needlessly under her command, but the higher-ups cared more about the victories she collected on the way. It was more important to gain territory, than to make sure fathers and brothers could return to their waiting families.
Her attitude was also the reason for her downfall. This, Tikki had been looking forward to, so she directed even more of her attention to it than usual. She noticed the assassin entering Arabelle's residence, during the night. She could've warned her, if she wanted. But why should she? Keeping the woman alive, would only result in even more death.
Instead, she waited for the knife to cut flesh and struggled breaths to stop forever, memorising every moment of it, before leaving the scene to go and find Plagg again, who was tidying up an asteroid field, that had gone out of control.
“I don't like how they are using us.” Were her greeting words. He only flicked with an ear to show, he was listening. “What they're doing goes completely against my being. I make things, not erase them from existence! Doing so feels wrong!”
He shrugged, placing a delicate paw on one of the many rocks surrounding them. It crumbled to dust in the blink of an eye. (For the two gods, anyway. For humans, it took way longer.) “I could destroy your Miraculous for you, if you don't want them having it. Just say the word.”
That would be the easiest solution, wouldn't it? Just make the thing, able to trap a part of her being, disappear. But doing so would also take away her chances of experiencing mortality. She would have to keep living forever, knowing she'd thrown away the one thing giving her a little excitement.
...no, she couldn't do that. Even with the humans mistreating the gift of Creation. She was selfish like that.
“Maybe at a later time, I'll come back to that offer.” She told her counterpart, gratefully touching his side.
He smirked wryly. “Didn't think you'd accept either. I have the same problem. Can't get rid of the damn thing!” He growled, batting a few asteroids away, that came too close to him. Their life was ended by their foolish attempt. (Well, they didn't have freewill, since they weren't actually alive, but it helped to accept the fact, she'd lost something again.) “And they do so many things that tear on the balance we both have. I'm sorry I can't prevent them from hurting you.”
“It's okay.” She murmured, wrapping an arm around him, to calm him down. Being with him was always the best part of her existence. “You know what? I think, I have a galaxy cluster that went wrong. It keeps disturbing the other galaxies in that universe. Want to help me fix it?”
He hummed, stretching out his tail to another few floating rocks, getting rid of them in a single, practised motion. “I'm finished here anyway, so why not. I'll clean it up for you, so you can make it even more beautiful.”
“I knew I could count on you.”
The second World War was a disgusting time. Not just because of all the death, it brought forth. So many people lost their homes. Families were ripped apart. Six whole years of slaughter, brought upon by one power hungry man.
It was nothing more than a few blinks in the life of someone as old as Tikki, but she remembered every part of it. Especially the man she spent it with. Gerhardt. A German soldier, who'd been lucky enough to stumble over the decaying remains of her last holder, wanting to give the earrings to his wife as a coming home gift. Suffice to say, he never made it.
He was part of the Battle of the Buldge, but not killed on the battlefield itself. Instead, he was taken prisoner and tortured to death, by revengeful soldiers of the Allied Forces. She could still hear his screams even years later, as he begged them to stop. Crying for his wife and children, as life slowly left him.
Tikki was glad, that they hadn't realized the true value of her Miraculous, instead sending it back with the body. She would've hated to be used by Gerhardt's killer, since the man had been really nice to her. They were stashed away, later given to France as part of the after war payments.
There weren't any holders in the time between the end of the War and when she was picked up by Marinette. The firsts time, she didn't have anyone regularly wearing her earrings, since she'd opened her eyes to the face of Mabel, all those centuries, even millennia, ago. It was actually a little surprising, to find herself in the hands of humans again.
Then, she met the dark haired girl with bluebell eyes and it reminded her of her very first holder so much, her soul ached! There were just too many parallels! Every time she looked at the girl before her, she saw another pair of blue eyes, looking back. Every smile triggered memories, she'd thought she'd lost long ago. Every clumsy stumble or kind gesture brought out a laugh, that had been buried for centuries.
Tikki had loved Mabel over everything – except for Plagg, but he was special – and she couldn't keep this girl out of her heart, either.
Plagg's warning words, of not getting too attached, echoed in her head, but it couldn't hurt, if it was just this once, right? There was no harm in liking something! Her partner didn't understand that! He only destroyed bonds! She made them! How was she even supposed to stay away, with Marinette having to use the Miraculous almost every day, due to Nooro's holder! What if she was needed, but didn't notice? She couldn't risk that!
Like with Mabel before, Tikki spent every minute with Marinette, talking to her, giving her advice with superheroing, school and her seemingly hopeless crush with that Adrien boy. Who was Chat Noir, so not so hopeless after all!
Actually, Plagg was a hypocrite! She could see the bond he had with Adrien. They weren't just in a Kwami and holder relationship. Not the way her counterpart had advised her. So if he went farther, why couldn't she? She was happy like this, after all. It even lessened the pain of loosing her Creations, while she was with Marinette. The girl just had this presence, that didn't allow any bad thoughts to linger.
Tikki was sure, she could protect her from anything, that was trying to harm her!
…
Only a year or so later, way way too soon, did she realize, that she could not protect her. Not even a little bit! ...not even while a part of her soul was fused with her holder!
Hawk Moth was too strong. He was an adult. He could use all of Nooro's powers, while Tikki could give Marinette only droplets of her own. Even with Char Noir at her side, it wasn't enough.
It wasn't Hawk Moth himself, who took her life. Still, Tikki would detest the man for the rest of her existence. Cursing him and whatever reason he might've had, to make children fight him on a daily basis. It couldn't have been good enough, to take away her Mari.
Her brave, strong, selfless Mari, who wanted to keep the earrings out of Hawk Moth's greedy hands, no matter what. Tikki should've noticed the position they were backed into sooner. She was a Kwami! She was millions of years old! Such a simple trick shouldn't have fooled her!
With Marinette, or Ladybug, as she had chosen to call herself, trapped on top of the Eiffel Tower, yoyo lost to the area below, sometime in the fight and Chat occupied with a Sentimonster, there was nothing they could do.
Nothing Tikki could do! Just like with Mabel, as she had been sentenced to death, for something Tikki realized too late! The universes had a horrible sense of humour!
Of course, Marinette could've handed the earrings over. She probably would've walked away unscratched, depending on how much a vendetta Nooro's holder had against her personally. He would've won, but at least Marinette would still have lived.
Sadly, that was not the kind of person she was. She wanted to prevent him getting the Miraculous, no matter what. Tikki felt the resolve deep inside her. So she stood on the edge of the platform, a quick glance down, where a crowd of onlookers had gathered and a silent apology to Tikki and Chat on her lips, followed by a goodbye to her parents and friends, then she took a single step back.
It would've been funny, to see the look of surprise on Hawk Moth's masked face. How it twisted his features, until they were unrecognizable. He hadn't expected that action either. But nothing in this situation was funny. So Tikki didn't laugh. She wasn't able to, even if she would've wanted! Her holder was about to die! Being happy was the last thing on her mind!
The transformation did not desolve, as it usually did, when her holders were injured to the point of no return. She didn't allow it. She wanted to stay with Marinette, until her very last breath, comfort her, on the way over and take some of the pain away. It was the least she could do.
It was the first time, a Kwami learned how it felt to die.
It was horrible. Not the dying part itself. Drifting away was rather peaceful, once you accepted it was happening. It was only horrible, because Tikki kept on living afterwards. She would always remember, how she could still feel Marinette's emotions, could still hear her thoughts, muted, but there, only for there to be nothing from one heartbeat, to the next.
The silence was as loud as the Big Bang.
Someone took the earrings. She wasn't sure who. Didn't even care about it. She could only stare at her beloved holder, laying in her own blood, at the feet of Paris' landmark.
Paris lost a hero that day.
...Tikki lost so much more!
Plagg found her some years later, curled up in a black hole, that was slowly filling with her endless tears.
“You were right!” She cried, as soon as she noticed him. “I shouldn't have gotten close to her! Loving someone isn't worth the pain of loosing them!”
He remained silent, as he wrapped himself around her, his own tears joining hers, not long after.
The existence of a Kwami was a curse. Everyone they loved, would at one point die, while they themselves lived forever. This cycle of pain and loss would go on and on and nothing they did, could ever break it!
It was for Eternity.