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Lying was an essential skill for any Robin. Whether it was lying for a cover, lying to keep a secret identity, or even lying to Batman, lying was an integral part of being Robin. Hell, one could argue that Robin was built on lies, with how Dick lied to Bruce to sneak out to get revenge on Zucco all those years ago.
As such, lying was a respectable and noble skill for a Robin, one that was maintained after graduating from the role. In the world of vigilantism, the truth was merely a tool that could be twisted or ignored in light of a goal, and the ability to do so well was valuable indeed.
However, not all Robins were created equal. Every Robin must lie, but their skill in it is variable. To observe how they lie, and who is the best at it, one must examine each Robin closely.
And so we start with the youngest Robin, the Robin trained from birth to fill the role in a way no other Robin could.
4. Damian
Damian couldn’t lie.
“Don’t be absurd, Todd, of course I wasn’t ‘cuddling’ with Titus. We are both more refined than that.”
Ultimately, that was what it boiled down to. Damian al Ghul Wayne, Ibn al Xu'ffasch, the Deadliest Robin, was a horrible liar.
“Of course I’m not crying, Drake. This movie simply bores me, and I am still affected by the cold from patrol last night. This animated drivel is unrealistic. Just because the dog is lost and misses his owner, who is scared in turn he will not find his way back, does not mean that— Whatever. Let us get this film over with.”
It began when Damian was a child. Despite having grown up in the League of Assassins, he had no need to lie. He was the revered child, the heir, and thus he had little need for secrets. As he grew, his sense of pride told him that direct combat was more honorable than subterfuge, so he simply never honed the skill. By the time he became Robin, his straightforward nature was too ingrained for him to really learn how to lie.
“I did not miss you whatsoever, Grayson. A mere two weeks was not long enough without your embraces, and I wish you had been gone longer. I now insist that you put me down!”
Even Dick, who had a blindspot a mile wide for any shortcomings of his Robin, could easily see through his untruths. Not a single member of the family believed any of his lies, much to his frustration. The Son of the Bat, for all his strength and prowess in martial arts and stealth, simply could not lie.
Of course, this had effects beyond the family. Damian was, at any point, the most likely to compromise their identities. It had already taken significant effort on Bruce's and Dick’s parts to ensure that no one connected the mean, ill-tempered Robin who was prone to stabbing people with the mean, ill-tempered Wayne Heir who was prone to stabbing people. After all, Tim had shown that one loose thread could unravel the whole tapestry of their lives.
Furthermore, Damian was barred from any undercover work. He went on exactly one mission as anyone other than Robin or Damian Wayne and was promptly banned. Forever, ideally. The operation lasted a record-breaking 12 minutes and 37 seconds before Damian got offended by something and broke character. He had tried his best too.
Somehow, however, Damian’s inability to lie became something endearing. With all his other skills and mannerisms, most of the family found it oddly charming that this child still retained the innocence of the truth.
“Of course I’m not a distraction, you blundering goons. I am the Son of the Bat! Fight me!”
Still, it really was inconvenient sometimes.
3. Dick
Dick, at least, could lie for the job. His accents were always flawless, possibly due to his upbringing in a traveling circus, and his roguish smile was always charming enough to stop most people from questioning him too much. Even when people did question him, he could lie well enough to get by.
In fact, when compared to the average civilian, Dick was an excellent liar. Even his friends from the Titans complained that the man was too hard to read. For most, his smile was the perfect cover for almost any emotion.
His family was not so easily fooled.
All of them could see the wrinkle in his left eye that indicated worry, or how he always looked down slightly for .2 seconds when he felt guilty, or even how his smile twitched slightly when he told a direct lie. To them, Dick was a terrible liar.
Worst of all, Dick was too much of a show off to be a genuinely good liar. Lying took humility, after all; if you needed to lie to Batman that you didn’t cause that explosion, you can’t show pride at how awesome that explosion was. Case in point, Dick showing off so much that he compromised their identities to an eight-year-old. The fact that said eight-year-old was Tim Drake, who grew up to be one of the most clever people on the planet was not relevant.
There was, at least, one exception to Dick’s obviousness in lying: Damian. Perhaps unsurprisingly, Damian consistently believed everything Dick said, no matter what. Whether it was simply because he trusted Dick or because he genuinely couldn’t see the signs, no one knew, but the boy regarded everything his oldest brother said as gospel.
Despite his single believer, Dick Grayson did not top the list. For that, a Robin needed far more than simple skills of deceit.
2. Tim
Tim Drake was a world class liar. Developed as a child with too many secrets and too much to lose, Tim’s lying strategies were flawless. He was the Robin who can lie to Batman.
Every alibi was airtight, every explanation was logical, every piece of evidence was in perfect sight. As a detective, he could flawlessly reconstruct a trail of evidence that led to exactly the conclusion he wanted it to. The greatest detective in the world cannot distinguish the truth when Tim is behind the lie.
In any other competition of truth-spinning, he would be the unquestionable winner. However, this was a competition of Robins, and even Tim had his flaws.
Tim’s lies grew in the face of apathy. He carefully constructed evidence of how he was taken care of as a child, but no one looked closely for years. Any lie he told his parents was quickly believed because they simply did not care to investigate. Every concerned teacher would be immediately redirected as soon as a check from Jack and Janet Drake arrived.
Thus, Tim’s lies fell apart under emotion. Harsh scrutiny was expected, but genuine concern often startled Tim, even so many years later. Dick’s sympathetic eyes could unravel a lie faster than Bruce’s sharp ones ever could.
Moreover, Tim could not lie to Cassandra. His socialization was stunted as a child, making his need to lie with his body obsolete in the grand scheme of his lies, at least until his sister arrived. To be fair, few people could lie to Cassandra Cain, but it was still a point against him.
Tim might still have argued that lying to Batman was enough to put him on the top of this theoretically list, and there was much evidence in his favor, but, well. Evidence was how Tim Drake lied.
1. Jason
To start with his weaknesses, Jason Todd could not lie to Batman. Unlike his little brother, he never quite got as skilled at planting evidence that a friendly Batman could not piece together the truth around the lies of Jason Todd.
However, what brought Jason above Tim is that Jason can lie to Cassandra.
Forged in the crucible of surviving on Crime Alley’s streets, Jason could lie with every inch of his body. His unbridled confidence and seemingly genuine conviction in his own lies were enough to fool even Cass herself. He could spew the most insane bullshit ever, but most people would find themselves nodding along at his words anyway.
His feats of untruth were legendary. Once, as Robin, he convinced DIck that he had been transferred to an alternate timeline where Dick was blond for a week, before Dick finally realized that Jason snuck bleach and dye into his hair, somehow. Another time, he successfully fooled Damian into thinking he could communicate telepathically with Batcow.
And one time, he even got Tim to go to sleep. Tim did not want to sleep, but then he talked to Jason, and then he went to sleep. It was a feat like no other.
Of course, all lies fell apart under the watchful eyes of Alfred Pennyworth. It did not matter the evidence, conviction, or any other advantage thrown in: No Robin could lie to Alfred.
0. Stephanie
Unless, of course, there was a Robin who could lie to Alfred.
Stephanie Brown was only Robin for a few short months, but she was Robin all the same. Some might say that she lacked the raw intellect or skill of the other Robins, but she would deny it vehemently. More importantly, she would deny it with a smirk.
The trick to being a great liar, in truth, was inconsistency. After all, it did not matter how much evidence Tim had laid out that he had in fact slept last night, because Tim always lied about his sleep. It didn’t matter what outrageous bullshit Jason was confidently claiming when anyone with enough sense knew that Jason was an outrageous bullshitter who could lie well.
No, Steph got caught in lies often. Little lies, big ones, secrets, white lies, she was constantly caught out in her lies. In some ways, she was worse than Dick (but not Damian, of course).
Which only meant that when she really wanted to lie, no one suspected a thing.
No one knew when she lied to Alfred. In fact, most people didn’t even know that she had. Boasting was a man’s game, and she was smarter than that, better than the boys who treated lying as a game that won pranks and bragging rights. Stephanie was the true master of lies because her lies were never found.
And in that little, massive way, Stephanie surpassed all other Robins.