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“I’m about to say those three little words you long to hear.”
Barbara looked puzzled at Dick’s announcement.
“You were right.” Dick continued.
“Ooo yes, those are my favourite three words. What specifically am I right about, lover?”
“Bruce and Hal Jordan.”
“Oh yeah. I knew that.”
“Well, you didn’t know, you had a theory. Which, as it turns out, was correct.”
“Not a theory, I had proof.”
“Proof, what proof did you have?”
“I asked Bruce.”
Dick spat out the beer he was drinking. Barbara was enjoying herself immensely watching him choke.
“You just straight out asked Bruce about his love life?”
“Uh huh.”
“And he answered?”
“Yup. You might want to try acting like a grown up next time.”
“How long have you known?”
“Couple of weeks.” She sort of shrugged, as though it was of no importance though was squirming with delight inside.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was enjoying all this” she gestured vaguely in Dick’s direction “too much.”
Later in bed that night, Dick was still ruminating.
“Don’t you think it’s strange though?”
“What, have I changed my mind since the last time you asked me 15 minutes ago? No Dick I haven’t and I don’t.”
“You can’t see it working out though? They’ve always hated each other.”
“Evidently not. Look, to be frank I think they are the best and only chance either of them has at relationship happiness. Bruce has a terrible tendency to date assholes and now he’s dating a non asshole, we should be throwing them a party. And Hal needs someone as smart and as gorgeous as he is to keep him in check. It works.”
Dick stared at the ceiling, considering Barbara’s argument.
After a few minutes he announced, “Well in that case there’s only one thing for it.”
Barbara groaned. “What, for the love of god, what is it and then will you let me sleep? I’m not loving Bruce and Hal being in bed with us.”
Dick rolled over, propped up on his arm. His eyes found hers, which were framed with an irritated frown.
“Will you marry me?”
“Oh for god’s sake Dick, you’re not funny.”
“I’m not trying to be funny, I’m trying to ask you to marry me. If you think Bruce and Hal can make it, we have got to be a sure thing.”
Barbara sat up.
“You’re serious?”
“Yup.”
“You want to get married?”
“Specifically I want to get married to you. Not just in general marry anyone.”
“There is only room for one smart ass in this relationship, Grayson.”
“Noted. Do I get an answer?”
“Yes. Of course it’s yes you jackass.”
“Are you sure because you seem to have…”. And whatever Dick was going to say was lost because Barbara launched herself at him and kissed him fiercely, all thoughts of getting some sleep forgotten.
As they lay curled up in a post orgasmic glow later on, Barbara murmured
“This is not a great proposal story.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean people will ask how you popped the question. I can’t very well say we were in bed discussing your dad’s crappy relationship history and then you proposed and I though you were joking and then I said yes and we had sex like demented fuck monkeys.”
“Hmmm, you have a point. The sex part should definitely be edited out, particularly when we tell your parents. Also the bit about Bruce when we tell him.”
“Not much left except you proposing for absolutely no reason and me thinking it was a joke.”
“Perhaps I cooked you a romantic meal?”
“Dick, you can’t cook pop tarts.”
“Took you for dinner then.”
“Yes, that’s better, more conventional Had you arranged for them to hide the ring in my dessert? I saw that in a movie once.”
The ring. It had genuinely been an impulse to ask Barbara to marry him. Like, he always saw them growing old together and had assumed they’d get married at some point, but he didn’t have a plan and definitely didn’t have a ring for her. But now she’d mentioned it, an idea was forming.
“I have an idea. Will you give me a do over?”
She laughed, “not getting cold feet already are you?”
Dick kissed her. “Definitely not.”
Dick’s message read “Can I come over tonight? There’s something I’d like to talk to you about.”
Bruce knew from Barbara that Dick found the idea of him and Hal so implausible that he simply refused to believe the obvious, but apparently could no longer deny what was evident. He could only imagine the conversation was for Dick to tell him all the reasons this was a bad idea (he’d always made his loathing of Selina perfectly clear), and he was not looking forward to telling Dick to stay out of his love life.
Bruce was finishing a call in the library when Dick stuck his head round the door, and gave him a hug after he’d wrapped things up. He felt how broad his eldest son had become across the shoulders and remembered that skinny little boy he’d brought home for the first time - two strangers orphaned by violence who would come to mean everything to each other. Not a little boy any more. He must have had a strange expression on his face because Dick looked at him and said “You ok?”
“I’m fine. You wanted to talk about something.”
“Yeah. Look, tell me if I’m completely out of line. I won’t be offended. I mean, I understand if you think it’s more suitable for Damian as your biological son.”
Bruce was very confused about where the conversation was going, “Dick you are my son. Biology has nothing to do with it. And I think Damian is a little too young to be haranguing me about my love life. And he adores Hal so if you want someone to tell me I’m wrong it’s going to have to come from you.”
“What?”
“You wanted to talk. About me and Hal - you don’t approve.”
“What? No, Bruce, you’ve completely misunderstood. I’m really pleased for you and Hal,” ok so there was some convenient revisionism going on there, but he was pleased now he’d come to terms with it. “That wasn’t what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Bruce’s face visibly brightened. “Ok, what is it?”
“I’m going to propose to Barbara” (ok, more massaging of facts) and I wondered if there was a ring of your mother’s I might use.”
“You want to give Barbara one of my mothers rings?” Bruce’s voice cracked slightly,
“It’s fine if it’s a no, like I said I didn’t know if you were keeping things for Damian, I just thought I’d ask as it would have more meaning, but I totally understand…”
What exactly Dick understood he never got to say because Bruce pulled him into a crushing hug.
After a few moments, Dick ventured, “Does that mean it’s ok?”
“More than ok. I’d be honoured. Let’s go upstairs and take a look.”
Dick had only been in Bruce’s parents’ room once before. As a child of course he’d been fascinated by it, and Alfred had let him in once. The curtains were always drawn to stop the fabrics in the room from fading, and it had a ghostly quality. As a boy, the creepiness had thrilled him. Bruce opened the safe in the room and started pulling out velvet boxes.
“You can take whatever you want, but I think these might be the front runners, This one was her engagement ring,”. Bruce indicated a large diamond solitaire, “but she didn’t wear it every day as it was too large. This is the one I remember her wearing the most.” Bruce held up a ring with diamonds arranged to look like a flower, it was simple and beautiful. Dick felt it was perfect.
“Is it alright if I take that one?”
“More than alright.” Bruce found a box for Dick to keep it in.
“There’s a set of emeralds I might give Barbara as a wedding present, they’ll match her eyes.”
“Bruce, you’ll make me look bad.”
“Ha, good, you need to up your game with a woman like Barbara. Frankly I’m surprised you’ve planned a proposal at all and you didn’t just blurt it out when you were asking her to pass the coffee.”
Bruce had always been a little too on the money.
“I’m wounded.”
“You’ll get over it. You’re staying for dinner I assume?”
“Yeah, that’d be great.”