Chapter Text
i dedicate this to my tweets from almost 6 years ago when 2x01 aired (sept. 23 2018):
we are alive
here in death valley
but don't take love off the table yet
'cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you
we love a lot
so we only lose a little
but we are alive, we are alive, we are alive
– fall out boy, death valley
If you had told Buck a few years ago that he would end up doing karaoke to a cheesy 80s song in a pastel suit with his best friend in front of strangers at his soon-to-be brother-in-law’s bachelor party, he wouldn’t have believed you. Hell, if you had told him a few hours ago, he still would have doubted it. But that was before the many, many shots.
Somehow, tequila can make anything seem like a good idea.
“That was your fault, somehow,” Eddie admonishes Chimney as he sits back down next to him in their friends’ booth, slightly out of breath from the performance.
“Hey, I thought it was fun!” Buck objects, sliding in next to Hen on the other side of the booth.
Hen laughs and bumps Buck’s shoulder as she finishes the final sip of her drink. “It was certainly funny to watch.”
“Yeah, my favorite part was when you dedicated a song about loneliness and unrequited love to me and my fiancée,” Chimney jokes.
Buck feigns offense. To be fair, he hadn’t heard it in a while and thought he remembered it being romantic. “It was just under 80s songs and– and the lady said it’d be good for us and not too hard to sing!”
“Uh, ‘sing’ is a strong word,” Hen mumbles.
“You think you can do better?” Eddie teases.
Everyone turns to look at Hen expectantly, who just giggles to herself. “Yeah get at least one more drink in me and I’ll consider it.”
Calling her bluff, Buck gets up and heads to the bar to order a refill for everyone, because why not? The vibes all night have been good, including the harmless teasing of Buck and Eddie that resulted in them getting up on that stage in the first place.
But as woman of honor, or best woman, or whatever title Hen had landed on in the end, it was absolutely her turn to embarrass herself a bit.
Stepping up to the crowded bar, Buck sees the worker who was setting up karaoke before is back tending the bar.
“Hey! Crockett!” she exclaims, moving towards him.
“Actually, I think I might be Tubbs. Not sure though. Not gonna lie– wasn’t my idea,” Buck chuckles.
“Cute idea, regardless though.” She looks him up and down, hands on her hips. “Nice execution too, I’ve gotta say.”
Previously, he might have seen potential here. To flirt, or more. And his confidence and security in himself grows by recognizing he could still be attracted to her, and other women. But the part of his brain responsible for romance or whatever is occupied with his date for tomorrow, thinking about introducing Tommy to everyone in this new capacity, dancing with him, etc.
That is to say, he’s kind of caught off guard by what seems like light flirting from someone else.
Until the bartender says, “Was it your partner’s idea? Adorable. Been together long?”
Then Buck is really caught off guard.
“Uh… what?” he so eloquently asks, leaning further against the bar and clenching his hands on the edge.
His ears ringing means he misses the details of whatever she says next, something about how they sang to each other and something else about Miami and iconic queercoding, or something.
He realizes this is the first time he and Eddie have been misconstrued as a couple since he actually could date dudes and it wasn’t some preposterous assumption.
It’s by no means the first time overall though, and probably not the last, and he catches her tilting her head, looking concerned at his lack of a response. The last thing he wants is to be refused service because he got flustered for no good reason and seemed too drunk. So he rights himself and rallies.
“Sorry, yeah my friend Eddie– he chose the outfits. Anyway, that reminds me, I was sent to order all of us more drinks, so uh…” Buck trails off.
She slowly nods, catching on and gives him an apologetic smile. “Sure. Same as you had before? I can check the bachelor party tab and bring those out to y’all.”
The crowd around the bar has only grown and it makes sense she’s trying to get out of this now awkward situation as quickly as possible. Buck nods and slowly backs away to let her do her job.
He’s still trying to shake the interaction as he looks down at his hands fidgeting together and walks back in the direction of his friends. His first thought is to feel like a jerk for assuming the bartender was flirting with him when in reality she had assumed he was… well whatever she had assumed. His second thought is: what exactly did he feel… almost shameful about her assuming?
After his slip to Maddie about dating Tommy, Buck made the active decision to… announce this information when the time felt right with Eddie. And whenever the time felt right with other important people in his life, he was more than ready to… announce to them too. Somebody ashamed of themselves wouldn’t announce it like that, would they?
But. What is the announcement in question? Hey I kissed someone once and hung out with them twice and I like them , isn’t something he felt the need to announce to his friends so hugely before when it was with women. Obviously it looks a little different, but it’s not like he changed as a person.
And yet, how is he able to reconcile not having changed, but suddenly feeling as though he’s newly lying by hiding a huge part of himself?
The tray of drinks being set down on the table in front of him is what makes him look up from his hands in his lap. And makes him realize he had made his way back to the booth, his friends were mid-conversation, and the bartender from before had brought over their drinks plus an extra round of shots.
“On the house,” she very openly winks at him and brushes against his shoulder before walking away.
“Buck!” Hen exclaims, punching him in the shoulder with one hand and grabbing a shot with the other. “Never thought I’d celebrate your player tendencies shining through, but your commitment to flirting in any situation is… unmatched!”
She absolutely means it in a harmless way and goes on to thank him for flirting free alcohol for all of them out of the bartender. But he just offers a half-hearted laugh and doesn’t make eye contact with anyone as he silently joins their toast and throws the shot back.
“So Hen,” Eddie starts, “What song are you thinking you’ll do?”
“Ooh, I’m feeling like… a ballad, something emotional. Really put your heart into it,” Chimney cuts in.
Buck looks up at Hen for her response, to try to get back into the conversation seamlessly and out of his head. But she’s already looking at him, confused.
“Yeah, maybe…” she says, then continues, “Buck, why don’t you help me choose a song?”
And before he knows it, she’s basically dragging him toward the side of the stage where thankfully a different staff member is taking karaoke requests. But Hen steers them off to the side so they’re on the outside edge of the room, as close to private as they could get here.
“Hey, you okay? I don’t know if it’s even this, but I shouldn’t have called you a player like that, even as a jo–”
“Hen, no that’s not it,” he cuts her off. He’s not gonna let her think for a second that she’s anything other than a wonderful friend to him, to all of them.
But he should give her the chance to be a wonderful friend to all of him, which means really knowing him. He takes a breath and holds eye contact with her. She’s giving him a confused look but clearly waiting for him to say more.
“I– I just got in my head a bit. About something else. That’s all.”
Buck thinks there might be something in his voice indicating that he has more to say because she just nods and waits with a serious look in her eyes.
“Look, the bartender just… assumed that– Okay, no. That’s not the point. The point is I got in my head that I was lying to you all. But it doesn’t matter because tomorrow it’ll be different anyway.”
“Tomorrow?” Hen asks.
“Yeah. So. I’m dating someone. That’s all. And I’m bringing… him. I’m bringing him to the wedding. Well, the reception. As my date. That’s it.”
Despite looking away and rushing it out, the use of the male pronoun this time is completely purposeful on Buck’s part. It’s not as though any part of him, however miniscule, fears a negative reaction from her.
Not like he even had that fear with Maddie or with Eddie either, it’s just that he’s more certain she just won’t care that much, whereas it would have been understandable if Maddie or Eddie, however unconditionally supportive, needed a bit of time to adjust to new information about him.
He just has a gut feeling that it’s low-pressure because Hen either won’t really care, or, if he’s being more honest with himself, that she already knew on some level. When he looks back up at her, that’s basically confirmed by a look on her face that could only be described as knowing .
“Are you trying to… come out? To me?”
He laughs uncomfortably. “Come out! That’s the phrase I’ve been looking for. In my head I was saying ‘announcement,’ which just feels silly–”
She grabs both of his shoulders and puts on a no-nonsense expression that cuts him off. “Thank you for telling me, Buck. I’m excited to meet him.” She follows this with a smile.
He suddenly moves in and wraps his arms around her in a hug.
Then his brain catches up with him and he pulls away. “Actually, you already know him.”
She looks confused for a moment before turning to look toward their table. At this point in the night, they’ve said goodbye to a few people for reasons ranging from: answering what a classy person would have a better word for than “booty call” (Albert), to understandably needing to get home to an adored yet impatient wife (Bobby), to simply disappearing with a text to Chimney saying “see you tomorrow congrats” (Ravi).
Only Chimney and Eddie are left, so it’s unclear what exactly Hen is looking for.
“It’s Tommy,” Buck clarifies.
Hen turns back to him and looks thoughtful, “Kinard?”
He nods.
“Huh,” she says, then shakes off anything that might have been confusing her and continues, “well, excited to see him then! Anyways, we’ve taken long enough, let’s choose a song for me, hmm?”
And they do, and she kills it of course, and the number of drinks they all have throughout the rest of the night is between them and God.