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"Sometimes I wonder if things could've been different." He says, looking up at me with that smile; the smile that makes my heart throb.
“What?”
“What would have happened if… we were normal.” Blue eyes look up at me, trying their best to be lit up- to have some life in them. We both know that it’s over, that today’s his last. I made that promise to him, after all.
“Marimo..” His voice is quiet. I can’t begin to understand how he’s awake- let alone talking. It must hurt like hell; I know everyone’s weaknesses better than my own.
A stab between the ribs, and Sanji’s still breathing. Or at least, trying to.
“You.. you taught me what it means t-to love.. Zoro..” A faltering voice calls out to me. A damaged voice. In the midst of his death, his voice is as beautiful as always. Even covered in his own blood, he remains graceful and handsome. His hand reaches out to touch my face, and wipes something off of it.
“I love you.”
I didn’t even realize I was crying until I said those words. The words I’ve never used on anyone Not even on my own parents: whom I have stopped trying to remember. His hands continue to wipe my tears away.
Oh, those hands. The hands that he cherished all of our time spent together, the hands that everyone tried to protect, the hands that could make me experience a type of pleasure that no fight could.
Sanji’s hands.
“I’m.. not scared..” He smiles and it’s still as charming as ever. “I’m in your arms.”
I hold him tightly, something I never thought I’d do. Something I never even thought of doing before. “I love you. I love you-”
He looks up at me with sad eyes, I’m sure he doesn’t want to see me cry like this. I’m sure he doesn’t want his last memory of me to be this: sobbing uncontrollably, only being able to confess whatever feelings had been buried deep inside because I’ve prioritized fights over my needs.
The need to tell him I love him.
“I love you.” His voice is barely a whisper, but I heard it perfectly. Even though there’s a fight behind us, even though the world is loud; everything’s quiet when it’s just us. Just like it’d always been. I feel ice at the spot where his hand had been wiping my tears, where it had been resting. I feel it turn cold, dead.
“I love you, Sanji.” I smile as I hold him close to myself and I’m certain I’d break if I let go. “I love you. I love you so much.” I can’t hear myself anymore. In fact, I can’t hear anything- just white noise.
I don’t know how long I will hold on to him. I don’t want to, either. I don’t want to accept this.
I don’t want to lose him.
“Zoro-”
“Let’s go home.”