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On the bus ride back to Vivi’s apartment, Cardan looks so miserable that Jude almost forgives him for sneaking out without telling her.
(Almost).
She doesn’t know if it was the iron flaking his skin, or the iron of the bus itself, but Cardan is unresponsive, face buried pitifully into her side, breathing shallowly and slouched in the seat she had placed him in. Jude for her part, keeps one hand gripped onto the metal pole and another on Cardan’s shoulder, afraid that, if she sits down, she won’t be able to get herself and Cardan up again.
“Uh…miss?” An elderly woman taps her shoulder, “do you need help? Is your friend okay?”
“Husband,” he argues instinctively into her side.
“He’s fine,” Jude pets his hair absentmindedly, “he’s just had a long night. He’s quite the drinker.”
The woman frowns, but she lets them be.
Jude feels Cardan’s head quivering and pang of fear strikes her heart…until she realizes he’s not trembling, but merely laughing at her.
“Stop that.”
“How beautifully you lie,” Cardan glances up at her, gaze unfocused and utterly adoring. It almost makes her blush.
Jude pushes his head back, unwilling to meet his gaze. “I wasn’t lying. You love drinking and you’ve had a long night.”
“You lie like a faery.”
Softly, he places a kiss at the skin between her pants and the hem of her shirt, exposed with her left arm lifted above her head. Jude doesn’t acknowledge him, but she can’t ignore the shiver that runs through her. For all her cruelty and violence, she was somehow rewarded with Cardan. Sweet and loving Cardan who followed her to the mortal world and hugged her while they watched TV on the couch, and played Super Mario with Oak although he kept dying and couldn’t seem to understand the controls, and who put himself into danger and got hurt following her plan, and who probably would’ve done it again just to protect her. It would almost be fair to her if he died; she certainly doesn’t deserve him.
Finally. Finally, Jude presses the red stop button as the bus approaches their stop. She nudges Cardan, now snoring lightly.
“Jude,” he groans.
“Stop whining. We need to get off the bus.”
She doesn’t wait for permission before grabbing his shoulders and pulling him sharply upwards. He winces, and she feels a spark of pity, remembering his injured shoulder. Jude slips her arm down to his waist and holds tightly as the bus lurches to a stop.
“Thank you,” Jude shouts absentmindedly to the driver, as she pushes Cardan forward through the doors. He lurches like a drunkard, tripping forward as his feet hit the pavement. He almost hits the ground, but Jude is already in front of him, catching his shoulders and lightly pulling him against her chest.
Cardan blinks his cat eyes open lazily, smiling down at her, “you’re so rough with me dear wife.”
“I can be rougher,” maneuvering him so his weight rests against her side, Jude nudges him forward, “come on, we’re almost there.”
He nods, eyes fluttering closed.
The three steps to the door of Vivi’s building are almost impossible to manage but thankfully, once they pass them, there’s an elevator to get up to second floor. Cardan shutters, as they enter, digging his arm into her waist as if he could disappear totally inside of her.
“It’s iron.”
“I know love,” she presses a kiss to his forehead, sweat drawing lines down the iron dust still coating his skin, “we’re almost home.”
The door of the elevator slides open, and Jude fumbles with her key for a second before managing to open the door. Inside, they are met with the sound of sizzling bacon and the sweet smell of maple syrup. When Vivi sees them, she almost jumps clear out of her skin.
“What happened?”
“I need to get a message to Elfhame.” Jude deposits Cardan on the couch. Crossing to the kitchen, she slides the smooth mail of her armor over her head, already feeling better without the weight, “if I write something, do you think you can deliver it for me?”
Vivi nods, eyes still wide, “is he okay?” She nods towards Cardan, who has curled up into himself on the couch, trembling lightly.
“He got into a fight with a troll—”
“I won that fight,” he protests weakly.
“He’ll be fine,” Jude continues, “he just needs a bath and some rest.”
Vivi starts towards him, but stops, hand inches from his skin, when she notices the grey still coating it, “it’s iron.”
“That’s been established,” Jude calls as she walks towards the bathroom. Reaching into the bathtub, she plugs the drain and twists the faucet towards warm. Slipping a hairband from her wrist, she ties her hair up hastily, “I can take care of him Vi, really,” Jude wipes her palms on her pants, crossing to where Cardan is laying on the couch, “if you can just help me get a messaged Elfhame.”
Vivi nods, still looking shocked, but moves to grab a paper and pencil, “what should I say?”
“Tell them we’ve left them a present,” crossing to Cardan, Jude ruffles his hair gently to rouse him.
He moans in protest, “I’m tired Jude.”
“You can sleep later.” She pulls him up again. Turning to Vivi, Jude describes the location of Aslog, along with instructions as she guides Cardan into the bathroom. Her sister nods, scribbling down the information. Pulling down the toilet seat, Jude pushes Cardan into a sitting position. A minute later, she hears the door of the apartment shut. Sighing, she turns back to Cardan.
“You can be so stupid sometimes.”
Gently, Jude eases Cardan's shirt over his head. Part of the sleeve has dried against his skin where blood sat sticky on his shoulder. Wincing, Jude peels it off.
“One of my many great qualities,” he whispers.
“You’re impossible.”
“I get that from you.”
Jude sighs, pulling his pants down over his ankles. She glances up at her husband. Cardan’s head is lolled against his chest. He looks so vulnerable.
“Why did you do it?”
His eyes flicker open, surprised. Slowly, he reaches one down hand, caressing her ear, “I wanted to be good enough for you.”
“You are good enough for me.”
“And I wanted you to know that you don’t have to do everything alone.”
She’s taken aback by that, and Jude glances downward, cheeks turning red with shame. Standing, she eases him into the tub, crouching beside him as she pours shampoo onto her fingers and scrunches it into his hair.
“Jude,” He turns his head towards her.
“Hmmm?”
“Won’t you say something?”
Her hands stall. Jude laughs a little, uncomfortable by the intimacy of it all.
“I spent so much of my life feeling powerless, I’m not used to relying on anyone else. I think sometimes I forget that I can. It’s hard to learn to trust.”
She goes for a sponge on the opposite side of the tub, but Cardan catches her arm, pressing a kiss to the inside of her wrist, “I promise as long as I live, you will never feel powerless again.”
The vow hangs heavy in the air, for a second. Jude gapes, tears stinging at the corner of her eyes. She is sure she will never deserve him. Jude can’t possibly think of the right words to express her gratitude, her love.
“You need to rest,” she says instead, rubbing the sponge down his arms.
Jude continues her work in a sort of reverent silence, scrubbing at his skin until not a hint of iron remains. She empties the tub, then fills it back up with hot water, rinsing his body again. Eventually, Heather knocks at the door and hands a first-aid kit in to her. Using it, Jude cleans and bandages the wound at Cardan’s shoulder. She hesitates a little, but then, steeling herself, presses a fluttery kiss against the wound. Cardan hums contentedly, and her embarrassment ebbs.
She drains the tub a second time and helps him up again, wrapping him in a large bathrobe hanging against the wall. She hopes Vivi won’t mind. Jude opens the door and glances across the hallway quickly before ushering Cardan into the room where they had been sleeping. He doesn’t say anything as she pulls the blankets up to his chin. Fluffing his hair before she slips out of the room.
When she gets back to the kitchen, Vivi has returned, and Oak is awake, sitting on the couch with a game controller in his hands. He glances back at her, “will you and Cardan play Mario with me?”
“He’s resting now.”
Oak frowns, but shrugs and turns back to the consol.
“Is Cardan hungry?” Vivi asks, pulling waffles from the toaster and piling them onto a plate.
Jude shrugs, “I’ll ask.”
She returns to the room. Cardan is exactly where she left him, snoring gently in the child-sized bad. Asleep, he almost like the young boy who tormented Jude for so long, and maybe she tormented him a little too. She sits on the edge of the bed, reaching to stroke his hair again, but Cardan rolls over quickly, catching her wrist before she can get the chance.
Jude blinks down at him, surprised, “I thought you were asleep.”
He yawns loudly, reaching around to caress her back, “I missed you.”
She chuckles, “Vivi wants to know if you’re hungry.”
Cardan doesn’t seem to hear her, running his fingers down her spine, “won’t you lay with me wife?”
“I think I might get in the way of your resting.”
He frowns, “I have had a very bad night and I feel very ill. Would you deny me this?”
Jude smiles, “no.”
She doesn’t even bother to change out of her undershirt, just slipping her bra off and curling up into his side.
“I’ve been thinking.”
“Hmm,” Cardan nuzzles his nose into the crown of her hair.
“I think you’re right. I need to rely on you more. We’re husband and wife, and the King and Queen of Elfhame. We can’t have secrets between us.”
He grabs her chin, tilting her head up to meet his eyes, “say the first part again.”
“Which part?”
“The part where you said I was right.”
“I didn’t say that.”
He chuckles, “liar.”
Jude gazes at him. His hair is still wet, plastered against his forehead, and his eyes are already beginning to droop shut again. He is so precious to her. She feels her heart squeeze with pride.
“I love you,” she says.
The smile that breaks out on his face is innocent and giddy and so wholly unlike him. Something glimmers in his eyes, and he kisses her hungrily.
“Oh stop that,” Jude pushes his away, “you need to rest. I told you I would lie with you but nothing more.”
“Hmm,” Cardan settles his chin against the crown of her head once more, “you’re so cruel to me.”
“I am,” she teases, reaching her arm around to rest on his lower back, she can feel his tail curl around her calf, “and you love me for it.”
Jude can feel his breathing slowing, and she’s almost certain he’s already fallen asleep when before he purrs out his final words.
“More than anything.”