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Tommy enjoys a challenge but spending the afternoon trying to carrying a 300-pound couch from the truck, into the elevator and then into Evan’s apartment, was hell on earth.
Even with Evan and Eddie’s help, Tommy hasn’t felt this exhausted since his first twenty-four-hour shift as a probie.
“I should go home,” Eddie announces after his fifth or sixth coffee of the day.
“Thank you for your help.” Evan skips from around the kitchen counter and hugs him. “Sorry it took so long.”
“It was no problem,” Eddie reassures him, which is followed by a long yawn. Eddie reaches over to shake Tommy’s arm and pull him into a side-hug. “Text me about basketball.”
“Will do,” Tommy replies.
Eddie escapes while he can. If any of them find an anecdote to discuss, they’ll all be there until the early hours of the morning.
Evan spins and presses a peck on Tommy’s cheek. “You choose something to watch, and I’ll finish the washing up.”
“I’d rather take the washing up,” Tommy teases as he crosses the room to the television. “Choosing something to watch these days is like pulling teeth.”
“That’s what Chim says—too much choice, too little time," Evan says, as he starts putting away the clean cutlery.
Tommy hums a gentle laugh. The domesticity of the evening fills his stomach with butterflies.
Before he can scroll all the various streaming sites, he is drawn to the cardboard boxes sitting beside the television.
In one, are a few decorations that have been in storage for six years.
In the next, framed photographs that Evan had intended to start hanging after they moved the couch inside. Now, it will be tomorrow's job.
Tommy takes them out, one-by-one, to have a look through.
Jee-Yun and Christopher make the most appearances, but there’s plenty of the 118, Athena, and their extended found family.
A warmth spreads across Tommy’s chest, when he picks up one from their date at the beach—they are standing hand-in-hand, in the ocean, with beaming smiles.
Tommy first entered Evan’s apartment filled with silent envy that he left the 118 before it became the family unit it is today, but now, he’s living it.
The last picture he finds is older than the rest, and from what he can tell, it was taken on a disposable camera. There’s a young girl, that he assumes is Maddie, and in her arms, is a baby. Considering what he knows about their age gap, it must be Evan.
What doesn’t make sense, is the young boy on Maddie’s left, who is the spitting image of Evan.
“Who is this with you and Maddie?” Tommy asks, walking into the kitchen. “Is he your cousin?”
Evan stops by his side, and his face softens. There’s a great sadness in the way his forehead rises, but with it, comes a smile. “No, um, that’s Daniel. My brother,” he speaks with the gentlest tone, but pride fills his every word.
Confusion fills Tommy’s head. “Your brother?”
Evan takes a deep breath, and concern overwhelms Tommy, he hopes that he hasn’t overstepped. “He had juvenile leukaemia.” Evan’s eyes scan the photograph, like he’s seeing it for the first time again. “He died about year after that photo was taken.”
“I’m so sorry.” Tommy takes his hand. “I can’t imagine growing up with a loss like that.”
“Yeah.” Evan ducks his head. “It’s a little more complicated than that.”
“You don’t have to speak about it if you don’t want to,” Tommy rushes to say.
“I want to.” Evan takes Tommy’s hand and leads him to the couch.
Tommy carefully places the photograph on the coffee table, and then leans back, giving Evan his full attention.
“Remember what you said about my parents?” Evan asks. “About how they act like they overcompensate?” He takes a long pause, and his eyes momentarily move onto the photograph. “It’s because they do.”
When Tommy met Philip and Margaret, they were civil enough, but they didn’t seem to have much to say. They’d had the aura of people who’d googled ‘how to talk to my son’s boyfriend?’
It became clear, very quickly, that they didn’t know much about their children.
“They’re trying so hard now, to be good parents, because they weren’t back then,” Evan says, adding proof to Tommy’s theory. “I wouldn’t be who I am, without Maddie.”
Tears well in Evan’s eyes, but he keeps smiling.
Evan often smiles when discussing a painful past experience.
Perhaps it could be boiled down to recovery and how Evan retraces how far he's come with grace.
But for Evan, it’s deeper than that. He smiles to keep up appearances, he smiles to comfort those around him.
Tommy yearns to help, to hold him until all that pain can’t hurt him anymore.
“So, about Daniel..” Evan’s voice cracks. “I was born to save him.”
“Evan—” Tommy doesn’t know what to say. He’s heard about savior siblings. Most first responders have. The legality and ethics could be argued for hours upon hours.
Here, in front of him, clinging onto his hand, is somebody who was brought into the world, to save another, and his own life was the afterthought to the two people who were meant to love him unconditionally.
“So, when he died, my parents completely shut down.” Evan makes direct eye contact and slows his breathing. He does this, until Tommy starts copying him, out of familiarity. “I didn’t know Daniel existed until recently.”
“What?”
“Maddie was pregnant with Jee when I found out.”
“That recent?” The world darkens around him, and Tommy feels like he’s drowning. He must fight his way back to the surface, for Evan’s sake. “Jee-Yun’s only three, Evan.”
“I know.”
Tommy never wants to see Margaret and Philip ever again. He has the longest fuse, and rarely gets angry with people. Aside from when they hurt those he loves. “They forced Maddie to, what, lie?”
“She was nine, she didn’t know any better.” Evan’s fury on Maddie’s behalf burns brightly, and Tommy guesses it is the same the other way around. “She wanted to tell me but didn’t wanna break me.”
Tommy has no words, so he launches ahead to cradle Evan in his arms.
“Hey, I’m fine.” Evan tucks his chin against Tommy's shoulder. “I’m doing okay.”
“Good.” Tommy leans back. He runs a thumb over Evan’s tear-stained cheek. “Your decisions are your own. If you’re happy letting your parents try again, then that’s your choice, but I’m gonna hold a grudge for the rest of my life.”
Evan snorts a short laugh. “That’s okay.” He presses their foreheads together. “I’ll add you to the list.”