Chapter Text
TIMELINE 69
Sayaka: KYOUKO U MOTHERFUCKER WHY DID I JUST FIND YOUR PANTIES ON THE DAMN SHOWER ROD
Kyouko: Aw honeybear u no like?
Madoka: It’s the fourth period Sayaka-chan, what are you still doing at home?!
Sayaka: THEY’RE WET KYOUKO
Madoka: Oh my
Kyouko: It’s all for u bro and ya ain’t even flattered :(
Sayaka: TFTFYIGGJSDCGJVKGTRYDIYVFT755UTDGF ROT IN HELL
Homura: Just conversing with you is equivalent to rotting in hell Miki Sayaka, I assume Sakura Kyouko actually enjoys it now… being a masochist and what not
Madoka: I---
Kyouko: BITCH
Homura: Unoriginal
Kyouko: YOU’RE PROBABLY THE BIGGEST MASOCHIST OF US ALL…oh wait I forgot yer into pet play, GET COLLARED ASSHOLE
Homura: Don’t confuse your fetishes with mine
Madoka: I want to be the one getting collared tho
Sayaka: MADOKA????!!!????
Kyouko: LMAO HOMURA JUST PASSED OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS
Madoka: SHE’S LOSING TOO MUCH BLOOD
Mami: Seriously, why are u all like this?
O.o
KYOSUKE’S HAREM
Hitomi: Akemi-san collapsed again… that’s like the 8th time this week
Sayaka: There’s 7 days in the week, it’s fine
Hitomi: IT’S TUESDAY
Kyouko: I still don’t get why the grp name is that * shudders *
Kyouko: Who’s falling for that fugly faggot?
Kyosuke: Rood
Hitomi: EXTREMELY RUDE. MY BOYFRIEND IS NOT A FAGGOT AND WILL NEVER WILL BE.
Homura: I wouldn’t be too sure about that Shizuki Hitomi
Kyosuke: Ok Im getting concerned here
Homura: Why? Do you have something to hide hm?
Sayaka: That’s enough already, stop pestering Kyosuke! Including u Kyouko!
Kyosuke: Ahahaha it’s alright, it’s not like my search history is available to them or something lol
Homura: ARE YOU SURE?
Madoka: Homura-chan not again! How many times have I told u not to hack into other peoples accounts and browse their search histories cuz Yamaguchi sensei is an old fart?
Kyouko: That sentence being in perfect grammar is hurting my brain
Sayaka: Not surprised
Kyosuke: WAIT WHAT
Hitomi: ?
Kyosuke: Akemi stop fucking smirking like that and tell me what u saw
Madoka: Mmmffgnn no please don’t stop Homura-chan
Sayaka: Okay seriously when did my best friend become such a perv
Madoka: Tee-hee Sayaka-chan Ik what u did last night or in some other timelines
Sayaka: FUCK I FORGOT U HAVE YOUR POWERS BACK
Madoka: On that note, Homura-chan how about giving me back the rest of my powers??? Pretty please??
Homura: NO.
Homura: Kyouko poke me in the eyes so I don’t have to look at Madoka’s cute puppy dog eyes or Istg I will pass away if I look for a second longer
Kyouko: Don’t have to tell me twice!
Mami: NO. Please think twice. No violence in school!
Sayaka: Mami-san that’s Kyouko, she doesn’t have a brain. She can’t even think once
Homura: Lol surprisingly a funny one
Sayaka: Can I hit u real quick?
Homura: You can try but will u succeed? Hmm? Oops that’s a negative and you get shot in the face
Kyouko: She is so much more violent than me how come you’re always after me Mami eh?
Sayaka: I seriously hate u so much transfer student
Madoka: Please for once! Can we all get along?
Homura: Fine becuz u asked
Madoka: AWW thanku, here’s a 1000 flying kisses for Homura-chan!
Homura: Fuck I think Im having a heart attack, excuse me for a second
Sayaka: Please die
Homura: Not before blowing you up
Kyouko: HEY BACK OFF NOBODY GETS TO BLOW SAYAKA’S ASS EXCEPT ME
Mami: HOW DID U MANAGE TO MAKE THAT SENTENCE EVEN WORSE THAN IT WAS ORIGNIALLY?!???
Kyouko: It’s a talent gurl
Sayaka: Im just gonna ignore your annoying ass
Kyouko: Fine then,,,, no cuddles for u tonight
Sayaka: I DON’T WANT THEMMMM
Madoka: How mean Sayaka-chan,,, you’re so lucky you have your hot roomie to hold u in her arms at night,,, * looks pointedly at Homura-chan with a pout *
Homura: Madoka PLEASE. You have to give me time to recover. I CANNOT BE HYPERVENTILATING 24/7
Sayaka: EWEWEWEWEWEW U CAN HAVE KYOUKO,,, she’s wayyyy too warm anyway, makes me sweat
Kyouko: I can make u sweat for entirely different reasons ;)
Sayaka: GAWD STFU PLZ
Madoka: She says blushing madly, underwear soaked thoroughly, hoping against everything that Kyouko does not in fact shut up and makes good on her promise. Flashes of Kyouko slamming her into the wall and roughly slotting their mouths together, slipping her tongue in, invade her mind and Sayaka whimpers, needy and aching.
Homura: BOW BEFORE THE YURI JESUS
Kyouko: Madoka fanfiction writer era>>>>>>
Sayaka: MADOKA OH MY GOD THAT WAS ONE TIME. ONE FANTASY. IN SOME OBSCURE TIMELINE. FUCK YOU.
Madoka: Lying is not a very good thing Sayaka-chan
Kyouko: This just made my day THANKYOU
Kyouko: Also,,,, HOMURA YOU’RE SO PATHETIC
Homura: AT LEAST THE GIRL IM DOWN BAD FOR WANTS ME IN HER BED UNLIKE U
Kyouko: Low blow dude
Homura: Fuck off
Kyouko: Just for that we’re spending the night together cuz I would not mind tapping whatever sick thing u got goin’ on
Madoka: WHAT.
Sayaka: EXCUSE ME?
Homura: No thanks ur ugly ass is not my type. I like them cute not bratty.
Kyouko: Fairssss, I like them bratty * winks *
Madoka: Kyouko-chan.
Homura: Uh oh
Kyouko: FUCK I FORGOT WE’RE ON THE GRP CHAT
Madoka: NEVER flirt with Homura-chan again,,, okay?
Hitomi: Um what are those pink circles in the sky?
Kyouko: FUCK FUCK FUCK IM SORRY I WAS JUST JOKING TELL HER HOMURA
Homura: I feel so sexually harassed tho
Madoka: ….
Hitomi: AH THEY’RE GETTING BIGGER AND DARKER
Kyouko: HOMURA U BITCH WTF
Homura: I wanna see my wife skewer u with her arrows sorry not sorry
Kyouko: SCREENSHOTTED
Homura: I officially hate technology
Hitomi: The pink circles disappeared!
Sayaka: Yea cuz Madoka passed out from a happiness overdose
Hitomi: FORBIDDEN LOVE
Kyouko: Annnnndddd the homophobe strikes again
Kyosuke: Ahahaha forgive her, she doesn’t mean it she’s just overwhelmed
Kyouko: Aight faggot
Kyosuke: Plz stop calling me that
Sayaka: For real Kyouko. Not cool. Can’t u see he doesn’t like it?
Kyouko: He’s already got a girlfriend to defend him, he doesn’t need a spare or what? U wanna be his guard dog?
Kyouko: Go on then, fetch him some water, do yer job why don’tcha
Mami: KYOUKO
Sayaka: ….
Madoka: Sayaka-chan…
Kyosuke: Hey hey, Sakura-san that was out of line. Sayaka is my friend and that’s how friends are supposed to act anyway and definitely not the way you’ve been acting this whole time. Please apologize to Sayaka.
Hitomi: Oh Kamijou-kun you’re soooooo kind I luv u so much
Homura: EW HETEROSEXUALS UGH
Madoka: HOMURA-CHAN! NOT THE TIME!
Kyouko: Tch whatever violin boy, ya shuld shutup when ya don’t even know half of the stuff that goes on. I ain’t apologizing.
Madoka: And there she goes…
Hitomi: THERE SHE GOES??!?? Kaname-san! She just jumped out the window?!?? We’re on the fifth floor???!??????
Homura: She’ll be fine
Hitomi: No she will not! We need to tell a teacher!
Kyosuke: Yeah, C’MON
Madoka: Ah sh*t, here we go again
Homura: Dw Madoka, I’ll take care of it
The chat has been cleared
[Kyosuke and Hitomi got memory wiped y’all]
O.o
Kyouko ---- Homura ---- DMs
Kyouko: Yo Im spending the night at urs
Homura: No.
Kyouko: Oh come onnnnnnn. I’ll cook!
Homura: No.
Kyouko: I’ll help u with laundry
Homura: No.
Kyouko: I’ll clean the fucking bathroom and kitchen c’mon u gotta yield to that
Homura: Hmmm
Homura: No.
Kyouko: Bitch
Kyouko: Fine then… guess I have to spend the night in an alleyway again… with trash cans and racoons fighting for scraps… in the dark… where anything could happen to me… I COULD BE KILLED BY A WRAITH but oh well…
Homura: Splendid attempt at emotionally blackmailing me. Unfortunately for you, I don’t care, this is your problem, u brought this upon yourself, now suffer the consequences
Kyouko: Hahaha yer devil routine ain’t convincing me. I can tell you’re excited… we’re gonna play dungeons and dragons after all ;)
Homura: I should never have let u introduce me to that game. IT’S ADDICTING.
Kyouko: IKR
Homura: Get your ass over now. You’re wasting time!
Kyouko: Changed gears real fast didn’tcha
O.o
OG GANG
Kyosuke: Hey…
Kyosuke: Did u two make up Sayaka?
Sayaka: Uh…
Madoka: Kyouko-chan didn’t come back did she
Sayaka: Yea… no that idiot hasn’t come back yet
Hitomi: Oh no! I hope Sakura-san is alright!
Madoka: She’ll be fine, Kyouko-chan is at Homura-chan’s house, we’re all playing Dungeons and Dragons online actually
Kyosuke: Oh then they did make up?
Madoka: No… they’re just avoiding speaking to each other ahahaha. It’s okay we’re all used to it anyway
Hitomi: Sounds tough to deal with…
O.o
Madoka ---- Homura ---- DMs
Madoka: How about giving them powers back?
Homura: Absolutely not.
Madoka: Aw… Whelp it was worth a shot