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As the first rays of sunlight kiss his face, Eddie’s mind awakens from what feels like the deepest sleep he’s had in months. His eyelids slowly bat open, momentarily blinded by the strong light filtering through. It's undoubtedly well past dawn. Reality gradually kicks in, as he absorbs the world around him, the realization that he is not alone in bed sneaking to him gently.
First, he feels him; always incredibly warm around him, holding him from behind securely, his chest expanding and contracting against the muscles of Eddie’s back. Then he sees his arm, resting heavily on top of his own, large palm and bitten nails, sparse arm hair gleaming gold in contrast with the black ink of his rings tattoo, thanks to the sun hitting directly at it.
It wasn’t a dream after all.
Eddie closes his eyes again, deciding he wants to prolong this first morning together as much as possible. Minutes pass by, without falling back asleep, just enjoying the place he is so blessed to be in. At some point Buck shifts slightly, letting out a soft sleepy grunt, another sound making it to Eddie’s ‘new favorite sounds’ list. He can physically feel Buck tense up momentarily, then instantly relax, as soon as his brain registers he is in Eddie’s bedroom, finally. His hand untangles from Eddie’s and finds the nape of his neck, where he plants his palm and slowly drags it down, making Eddie shiver. The moment he reaches the small of his back, he slides it under Eddie’s sleep shirt and guides it around, over the delicate skin on his abdomen and up to the middle of his chest. Eddie involuntary hums, betraying he has been awake all this time. Buck pulls him closer and presses him firmly against him. “Morning.” he mumbles, lips grazing against Eddie’s nape, where he plants the first kiss of the day.
“Morning.” Eddie sighs, lips spreading into a sleepy grin.
Buck leaves another peck on the spot where his neck meets his shoulder, before burying his face right in there. “How did you sleep?”
“Good.” It comes out easily, because it’s true. He grasps Buck's elbow, tightening their bond. “Very good actually. You?”
“Great.” Buck replies and he can hear the smile in his voice. Eddie can’t resist anymore, he wants to see, to kiss. He turns around, careful not to loose Buck’s hand from under his shirt. He moves backward just a little, so he can see Buck’s face, pale, with the slight puffiness that sleep leaves behind. His beautiful eyes are half-closed, the intense sunlight preventing them from fully opening, allowing Eddie to lose himself in the blue of their ocean.
He threads his fingers through Buck’s messy morning curls and Buck closes his eyes again, purring like a cat. “In the light of day, this feels even more unreal.” he murmurs. Buck meets his gaze and wonders “What does?”
“You.” Eddie grins “Me. This.” he explains and Buck smiles back.
His thumb finds the beauty mark under Eddie’s left eye, feeling the slight texture it gives to his soft skin. “I know, right?” His touch, endlessly warm and delicate, feeds this hungry part of Eddie’s that doesn’t only want, but needs Buck’s presence, his hug, his love. Eddie used to stubbornly deny the idea of needing things to survive, to stay sane. It made him feel weak. But it’s only been one night and a fraction of a morning that he is in Buck’s embrace, and the idea of losing that, is more scary than any fear of weakness he ever had. “It is real though,” Buck points out, his cherry red lips morphing to a smirk and, still obtaining the ability to read Eddie’s mind apparently, he adds “and I am not going anywhere.”
Eddie can only chuckle, scooting closer to bury his face in the crook of Buck’s neck, sighing contently against his heated skin. Hamming happily, Buck leaves a long kiss on his forehead. Eddie returns the gesture on the soft skin over Buck’s carotid artery, feeling his heartbeat getting faster the longer his lips stay there. He drags them upwards, leaving another kiss on his jaw and Buck lets out a shaky exhale. Finally, Eddie chases his lips. Buck is more than eager to give in, open his mouth for him. How a quick peck turned into a long make-out session, Eddie will never know. Yet, somehow they found themselves unwillingly breaking apart, to catch their breaths. “Can we wake up like this every morning?” Buck suggests with a soft giggle, as their foreheads touch and Eddie nods repeatedly, a silent echo of assert.
“I’ll take that as a promise.” Buck says, pinching Eddie’s rib playfully, drawing a giggle out of him. “Ha, always knew you were ticklish.” he teases but Eddie grabs his wrist before he has time to prove his statement twice. “What, am I wrong?” Buck pushes mischievously and Eddie shakes his head silently. Buck relaxes his arm, so Eddie lets him free. “Are you ever going to speak again?” Buck wonders, soft eyes searching Eddie’s for a response.
“I don’t wanna ruin it.” Eddie mutters, voice still a little hoarse from sleep.
Buck’s eyebrows knit with concern. “Hey now,” both hands cradle Eddie’s face, pushing his jaw up so their eyes meet. “You could never ruin anything, Eds.” And he believes it so deeply, it’s enough to defeat Eddie’s doubts. He is immensely grateful to have Buck's unwavering faith in him to hold onto during the difficult days that are about to follow. “We‘re only fixing things from now on, remember? Together.”
What if I am unfixable? The stubborn voice in Eddie’s head echoes, but he closes his eyes, breathing in slowly, in an attempt to inhale Buck’s words, make them part of his system. He opens his eyes again, and the earnesty and avidity in Buck’s gaze push the corners of his lips up in a soft honest grin. “Okay.” his fingers tangle behind Buck’s neck, holding him there “Together.”
A loud noise of something hitting the floor and a hushed angry curse ruin their peaceful moment. “Chris is up?” Buck wonders, voice way lower than before.
Eddie lifts his head, only to remember the door is half closed since last night and he can’t see anything."I'm sure he's been up for a while, keeping extra quiet so he can play video games with his friends instead of doing homework." Eddie scolds when Buck buries his face in the pillow, hiding an amused, if not proud, smile. Soon though, his expression falters, his exhale coming out heavy.
“What is it?” Eddie frowns.
Buck chews on his bottom lips for a few seconds. “What are we gonna tell him?” he eventually asks, eyes filled with worry.
“The truth.” Eddie states without a second thought. “I don’t wanna lie to him.”
“Of course, lying is the last thing I want.” Buck rushes to explain. “It’s just…” he pauses again, capturing his already irritated lip between his teeth.
The dark side of Eddie’s brain seizes the opportunity to feel him with fear once more. He pulls his hands back, a little tremble accentuating his movement, and his voice emerges, low but stern. “Look Buck, if you ‘re not sure about you and I-”
“Wha-No!” Buck immediately cuts him off, grabbing both his hands, and guides them back where they belong: over Buck’s heart. “I haven’t been more sure about anything in my life Eddie.” he presses his thumb on Eddie’s chin and lifts it up for a soft reassuring kiss. “Never doubt that again.” Eddie nods, his heart going back to its place. “The thing is, I want what’s best for Christopher. What if it’s too soon? I mean, you only broke up with Ana like what, two months ago?”
It’s a bit longer than that, but it doesn’t matter. Buck has a point; too many changes under current circumstances could be risky. On the other hand “Chris loves you more than anyone in this world. He is going through a rough patch, but I am sure he will be thrilled to bits when he finds out you are officially his second dad.” he watches as Buck nearly chokes up at the last two words and brushes his cheek fondly.
“Are…” he has to clear his throat, blinking his eyes clear, “Are you sure though? I mean he seemed pretty excited for you and Ana to become official, you said it yourself; he loved spending time with her.” Eddie rolls his eyes at the way Buck insists on comparing himself with his ex, if there could ever be anyone to dethrone him from Christopher's heart. “I know he loves me as your best friend, but what if he doesn’t want me as your partner?” Buck’s wounded puppy expression melts Eddie’s heart. He takes his head between his hands and sighs heavily.
He will try with words but decides to start with the gentle soothing brush of his lips against Buck’s. He only lets go when he feels Buck’s muscles loosen under his touch. “Buck, I know my son better than anyone,” Buck nods, displaying no uncertainty “and I am more than certain this” Eddie gestures between the two of them “will have him fly over the moon.” The corners of Buck’s lips fight to move up and Eddie’s thumbs help them there. “But you’re right, we should probably take it slow, just to not overwhelm him right now. We’ll go one step at a time.”
Buck keeps nodding, more at peace now. “We could talk to his therapist maybe? Ask for some advice on how to break the news?” he suggests. Eddie will never cease to be amazed by the way Buck cares so deeply about Christopher, the way he puts even his biggest needs above his own. “I love you, did I tell you that?” he smiles, eyes burning for the first time in what he is sure is about to be a long day.
Buck smile is almost as blinding as the sun behind them. “Not today.” he replies and just when he is about to pull Eddie in for another kiss, they hear familiar sound of crutches against the floor coming closer and closer.
“Here he comes!” Eddie announces, entangling himself from his boyfriend. He finds the time to steal a peck, before leaving what looks like a decent space between two best friends sharing a bed.
“Buck!” Chris exclaims before even pushing the door all the way open.
“Hey buddy!” Buck calls out, with the distinct excitement in his voice, always present when he interacts with his favorite boy.
“You're still here!” Chris abandons his crutches on the foot of the bed, climbs on the bed as fast as he physically can, and falls with his whole body on top of Buck.
It’s the first time Buck lets out an “Oof” when Chris rests his whole weight on him. Their boy is growing up so fast, Eddie realizes. Their boy… Nope, he is not going to cry again! He just woke up for fuck’s sake. He playfully pinches his son’s thigh instead “Hey, I’m here too you know.” All Christopher gives him is a turn of his head in his direction, with a sweet smile “Morning dad.” Eddie squints, fake jealousy making both Chris and Buck giggle. He ruffles his curls as Chris lifts his head to look at Buck, all bright and cheerful.
“You don’t look sad.” he points out and Buck shoots Eddie a confused look.
“Why would I be sad kid?”
“Didn’t you break up with your girlfriend?”
“Uhm,” surprised and slightly panicked, Buck turns to Eddie for support, who only gives him a subtle nod. "truth is I did. But... you know, not all breakups are a bad thing Chris." honest enough, Eddie thinks.
"They're not?" Chris tilts his head, confusion over the messed up adult world evident.
"They're not buddy." Eddie confirms, flicking his son's cheek, his touch always feather light.
Chris takes all about five seconds of contemplating and simply shrugs with an "Okay" at the end. Buck is immensely relieved, probably expecting a full interrogation. "I guess I should cancel the supportive chocolate chip pancakes I was planning for you then." Christopher states with his sneaky toothy smile.
"Oh no. I'm so sad all of a sudden!" Buck exclaims, wearing the fakest of pouts on his face, which breaks Eddie into something between a giggle and a snort.
"No, you're not." Christopher giggles.
"What are you talking about? I'm the saddest person in the world!" Buck insists, getting both of them off the bed, with Chris' arms tied around his neck as his head is thrown back in loud laughter. Eddie's heart goes all soft and gooey at the image. "Come on, let's go mix a huge heartwarming doze of pancakes." Buck says and lifts the crutches off the floor on the way out.
"Okay, but we have to practice the Micky Mouse shape this time." Eddie hears his son's request as they disappear towards the kitchen. "Sure thing buddy." Buck replies.
Eddie gets up, ready to follow them, and can't help but notice how he feels ten times lighter than he has every morning for the past few months. He first pops in for a morning shower. The hot water washes away his sleepiness and the tightness in his muscles, but not his unshakable smile. He hears Buck coming in for a fast teeth brushing, before he can return to the kitchen, where Christopher is for sure already making a mess.
"Wanna join me in a quick shower?" Eddie teases, just because he can. (And maybe part of him would kill to see Buck naked right here, right now.)
Buck scoffs. "Don't test my self-control with the kid in the house.” he warns, the toothbrush still in his mouth.
Eddie chortles quietly, ignoring how he suddenly feels all hot inside, just by joking about them fooling around. “Well, the door locks. And I can be quiet.” he quips, reaching out for Buck’s shampoo.
“Well I can’t be,” fuck Eddie thinks “and I am determined to make sure you will not be either.” Buck declares and Eddie involuntarily squishes the shampoo bottle so hard, that almost half of the liquid squirts out.
“Buck!” he snarls and Buck laughs, obviously satisfied. A bright red flash spreads across Eddie’s whole chest, as images of all the ways Buck could make sure he won’t be quiet flood his mind.
“You started it.” Buck points out, finally turning the tap off. “Plus you can’t blame me, when that shower door is nowhere near foggy enough.”
Eddie, knowing full well his shower door glass is frosted where it needs to be, still turns around to check and hears Buck’s loud laughter echoing in the small bathroom. His head pops through the small gap between the shower door and the wall, shooting Buck with one exasperated stare. “You are such a jerk!”
Buck laughs even harder, taking a step forward, and leans in for a wet kiss, not caring that Eddie has shampoo running down his face. He tastes like the Diaz’s fresh mint toothpaste, mixed with something else, something entirely Buck, which Eddie can’t get enough of. He threads his soaking wet hand through Buck’s dry hair so he can pull him closer, deepening the kiss. “Come on,” Buck whispers when they break apart “We’re waiting for you.” and with one last peck, he vanishes.
~
Semi-dry, semi-horny, and fully hungry, Eddie walks into the kitchen, only to be hit by the smell of burned pancakes. Christopher is over the pan on the stove and Buck is glued next to him. Two bowls of batter are placed nearby, one with chocolate chips, the other plain. Pancake mix has somehow made its way onto Buck’s shirt and half his face, including his lips and birthmark. Christopher is in no better condition.
The moment Buck notices him in his peripheral vision, his face lights up with a blissful grin. His gaze falls to the hoodie Eddie’s put on, and his eyes soften even more. It's one Buck forgot in their house months ago. "I was looking for that.”
"You never asked me." Eddie shrugs, and Buck ducks his head, his smile reaching the corners of his eyes in the endearing way Eddie adores. He wonders if that's how it's going to be from now on; longing stares and butterflies in their stomachs, each time they reunite after mere minutes apart. He wouldn't complain if it did.
"Chris, I think it's time to flip the pancakes now." Buck encourages, a clear hint of urgency in his tone. "No Buck, we have to wait, or it will break in half just like the other two." Chris insists. Eddie walks closer, stops behind Christopher and rests one hand on the boy’s small shoulder. Up close, the batter drop on the curve of Buck’s prominent bottom lip seems freshly spluttered, so Eddie gives in to the impulse and wipes it with his thumb. Chris can’t see him from this position, so he licks his finger clean, eyes staring at Buck’s shamelessly. Buck can’t do much from where he is standing, only look at him with a how dare you expression written all over his face, as he reaches to hold hands, keeping them where Chris can’t see them.
"Can I help?" Eddie offers, and both son and boyfriend reply in unison "No!"
"Okaaaay." Eddie murmurs under his breath. "Point taken."
Buck looks at him and can't help the sweet-as-honey smile that appears instantly. "Don't take it personally Eds..."
"Yeah dad, you just can't cook." Chris chips in, earning a playful slap on the shoulder from Buck, who struggles to stifle a giggle. "Chris!” he murmurs sharply.
"What? It's true!" the boy argues and Eddie rolls his eyes.
"Don't be that hard on your dad. All he needs is practice." Buck instantly defends him and Eddie loves him. He loves him so much, it's becoming dangerously difficult to hide it in front of his son. He wants to scream it, paint it on the walls, imprint it on every surface around them.
"Perhaps, now that there will be some extra time on my hands, you could share some of your knowledge Buck." he suggests, keenly observing the emotions flickering across Buck's face. First, a moment of sorrow at the reminder of Eddie's absence from the station for the time being, followed by eager anticipation and excitement at the thought of them spending Eddie's newfound free time side by side, trying new things.
"I’d love that." Buck replies softly, his thumb tracing gentle, comforting circles at the back of Eddie's palm. He possesses this innate ability to provide all the support Eddie needs with just one tender look, one delicate touch. Eddie feels a rush of warmth and longing, the need to lean forward and crush Buck into a prolonged embrace. But for now, he settles for a stolen, silent kiss pressed against the back of Buck's palm, their hands remaining securely intertwined.
“Buck-Buck! The spatula!” Christopher exclaims. With rapid, jittery motions, the third attempt at a Mickey Mouse pancake is revealed, its smoky black glory staring back at them. Christopher lets out a disappointed sigh and Buck gazes at the charred creation with a pout. "I mean… Mickey’s ears are black,” he points out “maybe we keep this one for decoration only?"
The kid looks up at him with a pearly smile. “Sure." he agrees and Eddie raffles his curls happily.
~
After many practice rounds, they end up with one decent Micky on each of their plates and a stack of not-so-decent ones in the middle, for seconds.
"Dad I told you, you have to start from the face and then eat the ears." Christopher rolls his eyes, stuffing his mouth with a bite that's way too big.
Eddie’s fork paused halfway to his mouth. "Is this a Disney rule I'm not aware of?"
"Obviously." Buck answers sprightly in Chris' place, since the kid’s mouth is too full to form words.
Their plates get emptier as they chatter, planning new holiday activities, that now include all three of them, Chris’ homework projects, and visits to parents and grandparents. Christopher seems distinctively lighter now that Buck is around again, which should come as no surprise. Buck is their person.
“I hear there were some complications with the gingerbread house contraction this year,” Buck mentions at some point, having no idea that incident was a punch in Eddie’s stomach so hard, he didn’t sleep for two nights. He must notice the remnants of Eddie's distress on his face right now, since his carefree smile falters suddenly. Instantly, Buck reaches under the table and catches Eddie's leg between his own, seeking to ground and reassure him. The aggressive lamp on Eddie's throat is magically drawn downward, as if Buck's warmth is a magnet, attracting and dissolving all negativity into particles. “and we decided to give it a second try today.” Buck adds, eyes searching Eddie’s for the relief that comes, gradually.
“Yes!” Chris chimes in “Buck has all the ingredients at his place.” he informs Eddie, excited for the second chance his Buck offered them. Eddie mentally contrasts this happy, carefree expression with the upset, desperate one his son had that night when Eddie accidentally broke their gingerbread house. He feels a swell of emotion, on the verge of happy tears, because now Buck is here, and everything is so much easier, lighter.
The life Eddie has been mourning for months, believing he'd never get to live it, now unfurls before his eyes, a long-awaited gift. The realization steals his breath for a moment, eyes shimmering with unshed tears once more. Across the table, Buck casts a glance in his direction, silently checking on him. Eddie waves him off, signaling that everything is more than okay; it’s actually perfect. This is it, he realizes, this is what he wishes for life to be—a beautiful tapestry of moments like this—and it's about time he did something to claim it.
“You know Chris,” he starts and the words come out so effortlessly, like this is the most right thing he’s ever done in his life. “we thought Buck could come and live with us for a while.” Buck’s head snaps up like a deer caught in the headlights. Eddie nods to him with a small reassuring smirk. “Keep each other company.”
“Really?” Christopher's eyes grow twice their size as he looks up at his dad and then Back, with a mix of surprise and hope.
“Uhm…” Buck is at a loss for words, his gaze shifting repeatedly between Eddie and Chris. It’s Eddie’s time to cage Buck’s leg between his own, a grounding gesture that leads them to lock eyes and engage in a silent conversation. It’s what both want, what both need, and there is no reason it shouldn’t happen. One step at a time they agreed earlier; this is a good first step.
Buck turns to the boy again, a bit reserved, but certain. “Well, yeah buddy. It would be nice to spend more time together.” his smile is nervous, as he awaits Chris’ reaction.
“Yay!” Christopher nearly throws his fork in the air, his eyes glinting with excitement. He lifts off his chair and throws his arms around Buck, full of joy. “We’re gonna have so much fan!” he exclaims and Buck lets out a big relieved exhale, squeezing his favorite boy in his embrace. His eyes find Eddie, whose cheeks ache from the force of his smile. With Christopher's back on him, he reaches for Buck's hand once more, lifting it to the level of his mouth to place a tender, silent kiss on his palm. Buck's fingers caress Eddie's cheek so delicately, as he blinks away the tears gathered in his own eyes.
Untangling himself from Buck, Christopher circles the table and falls into his father's arms. “Thank you, dad.” he murmurs. “This is the best Christmas present you could give me.” Eddie’s chest feels pleasantly tight, a mixture of pride and joy taking up all the space inside. Making his son happy always comes first, and being able to do so, with a decision that also brings unparalleled happiness to himself, is truly the best Christmas gift imaginable, for both of them.
Buck is wiping tears on the sleeves of his hoodie, only for new ones to come, his attempt to keep them contained long having failed. “Okay.” Eddie clears his throat and threads his fingers through Chris’ soft curls “Let’s finish up breakfast, because we have to stop by Buck’s house to make the gingerbread house and make it on time for dinner tonight at Bobby’s, remember?”
Chris quietly nods in agreement and heads back over to his plate, while Buck mumbles “Right, right”, stuffing his mouth with almost an entire pancake. When they are done, they both urge Christopher to do at least a small part of today’s homework while they clean up in the kitchen. He agrees unexpectedly quickly and heads to his room.
As soon as he is out the door, Buck throws himself on Eddie with such force, Eddie's hands grip the edge of the sink for support. Buck's body trembles against his, and Eddie wraps his arms around him protectively, anchoring him in place. “You are getting pancake batter all over my clean hoodie.” he complains, his voice tinged with affection that belies any hint of seriousness.
“It’s my hoodie.” Buck reminds him, lips brushing against the top of Eddie’s shoulder, where he has pressed his face. Eddie does the same with his face, only a little lower, since Buck is slightly taller. “Are you sure about this?” Buck asks, always needing to make sure that the things he craves the most won’t be ripped away from him violently, the moment he lets himself believe he could have them for real.
He takes in the heavenly sensation of the pads of Eddie’s fingers trailing along the nape of his neck. “Never been more sure about anything in my life.” Eddie slowly pulls away, until their foreheads meet “Together.” their morning promise escapes his mouth once again, marking the dawn of a new life together, so familiar, yet so different.
Buck brings his palms on either side of Eddie’s neck, their heat a precious reminder of endless hope. “Together.”
Eddie, craving the taste of Buck’s lips, lifts his head without hesitation, capturing them with his. Buck whimpers low in his throat, pulling Eddie even closer by the hem of his hoodie. He catches Eddie’s bottom lip and sucks lightly, pulling it with his teeth as they break apart. Eddie lets out a soft groan, his thumbs digging into Buck’s hips. Patience, he reminds himself, the night will come eventually.
“Did you see how happy Chris was?” he chuckles, without hiding his excitement.
Buck smile cracks, huge and bright like the sun. “Yeah… You were right, as usual.” his palm finds Eddie’s chest and rubs his warm skin affectionately.
“This week we go to Dr Lim and work on our announcement, okay?” Eddie says, his palm pressing on the hand Buck has rooted on his chest. “There is no reason to keep it a secret inside our own house; I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”
“Me neither.” Buck agrees instantly, his breath escaping him in a soft exhale, carrying with it the tension that gripped him. “I think it’s the right thing to do.”
Eddie finds his free hand and their fingers tangle, weaving together a bond, tied-and-strong. “I know it is.”
~
Their second attempt at a gingerbread house turns out to be glorious. Even with the extra fast method Buck fished out of the internet, it takes them a while, but the result really pays off. Eddie is extremely hesitant to lend a hand at first; when Chris notices, he deliberately hands him different tasks to do, showing him that the Christmas accident is left behind. Buck never asked what happened, but was probably informed by Chris at some point, since he is super tentative with helping Eddie, as if he is the kid between the three of them. Some would find it silly maybe; Eddie finds it irresistibly cute and heartwarming.
He often feels like a literal teenager, staring at his crush, convinced that every single move he makes is adorable, charming, and beautiful, and the frequency of these moments is countless. He gets caught more than once, gazing at Buck with the most lovesick expression, the gingerbread cookies just sitting in his hands without purpose. “Are gonna connect those?” Buck asks the third time he notices, his smile a mix between confused and amused, because what’s happening to Eddie is definitely happening to him too.
“Eventually.” Eddie says through a shy giggle, his smile growing even bigger. It’s so freeing how he doesn’t have to hide from Buck anymore. He hated every single time he had to put on a mask, pretend like he didn’t want to stare, to touch, to linger, to just show in any way how he longed for Buck. He wishes to make up for all the times a scene would play out in his mind, of how a curtain situation would evolve if Buck and he were a couple, but when reality came, it was nowhere near fantasy.
Buck seems to be on the same page, since he makes every excuse to touch him, steals sneaky kisses, stare affectionately when he believes Eddie can’t see him. It takes every last drop of willpower in both of them to not lock themselves in the bathroom and make out until their brain turns fuzzy or at least until Christopher suspects something is up.
Their hard work results in a beautiful big gingerbread house for their apartment and a very cute smaller one, which they wrapped in a holographic foil, secured with a bright burgundy ribbon, as a gift for Bobby and Athena. The kitchen is left in a mess, because they don’t want to be late for dinner at Cap’s house, so they agree to return for a sleepover at Buck’s, in order to tidy up later. The new plans make both Diazes extremely happy. That means they won’t have to part ways with their Buck while he packs some essentials for his -for now- unofficial moving-in.
~
They arrive precisely on time and a cheerful May welcomes them in. The smell of tasty food hits their nostrils and makes all three of their stomachs rumble at the same time. This makes Chris attempt to climb down the stairs faster than it should be, but Buck is by his side to support him in no time.
Bobby appears near the entrance and curious eyes meet Eddie’s. He can read the slight surprise on his face when Bobby sees him all light and joyful, when the last time they spoke, two days ago, Eddie looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. And, make no mistake, he still does. But, as it turns out, having someone to share it with makes a huge difference.
The moment he received tonight’s invitation, he had no doubt the main reason was that Bobby didn’t want him and Chris to spend all their Holidays alone. Eddie is grateful, he’s always been grateful to Bobby, and he is the first person he wants to share the news with, after Christopher.
They all go to the kitchen and say their hellos. Christopher is always eager to help with the cooking and Bobby is more than happy to let him lend a hand with the last appetizers, while Athena and May are setting the table. Buck and Eddie were of no use, so Athena sent them away to wait in the living room, with two cold beers for company.
Small talk is what they do as usual, like nothing has changed, except now, the moment they are left alone, their hands find each other of their own volition. It’s instinctual, precious, Eddie never wants it to stop.
“Do you think we’re gonna have problems with the station when Bobby finds out?” Buck’s anxiety takes the wheel once again, but Eddie shakes his head, taking a sip of his beer. “Nah, I don’t think so. Bobby will do everything in his power to protect us.” Eddie grins, his full trust in his captain keeping him in that peaceful place. “Plus, we’ve been in love for years and kept working like perfect professionals, right?” he adds, smiling all sappy when Buck’s hand drags across his torso and upwards, to cup the side of his face.
He was just about to lean into his touch, when Bobby emerged from the kitchen, with his warm hospitable smile, to announce dinner is ready. Buck subtracts his hand abruptly, looking like a child being caught doing something forbidden. Bobby's eyebrows knit in confusion.
"Uhm... Hi Bobby!" Buck waves awkwardly. Eddie suppresses a laugh at his endearing failed attempt to mask his panic.
The seconds stretch uncomfortably long, with Bobby glaring between the two, before his lips spread to a gradual, fond smile. "I'm very happy for you guys" he states in the end.
"You knew?!" Buck’s eyes bug in shock.
“’Course I knew,” Bobby shrugs with his characteristic mischievous grin “right from the start. I just didn’t know when you two would finally figure it out.”
Buck turns to Eddie, expecting to see his own surprise mirrored on his face, but he seems almost expectant. Bobby always has his way of knowing things, even the things you don’t know about yourself. So, Eddie simply catches Buck’s hand again, the soft grin of his signaling that everything is okay. And Buck, finally relaxing, smiles back.
“So when did you two finally figured it out?” Bobby asks, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
“Last night.” Eddie replies, memories somehow faded like it was a million years ago. It's just that life without Buck feels like a whole other life now.
“Technically,” Buck interjects “we figured it out months ago.” Eddie chuckles, nodding in agreement. “But we confessed it to each other last night.” Eddie meets his eyes and the adoration he finds there makes him want to crawl under Buck’s clothes and curl around him like a blanket.
The tips of Bobby’s mouth reach so high, it makes the wrinkles around his eyes deeper. “I’m so proud of you both. You deserve nothing less than each other.” he says and there is a hint of a glimmer in his gaze, which is more than enough to make Buck all teary. “I’m assuming, since you are hiding back here, Chris doesn’t know yet?”
“Nobody knows for now.” Eddie, who’s better at managing the sentiment in his voice, explains. “We wanted to take our time.”
“I understand. And I’m with you.” He doesn’t need to say he won’t share their secret; they all know that. “Now let’s go eat and celebrate. I’m starving.” he takes a step to the side, gesturing for them to lead the way. Buck moves first, but instead of walking towards the table where everyone is waiting impatiently, he engulfs Bobby in a bear hug, squeezing tightly. “Thank you,” he mutters, sniffing “for bringing him to our lives.”
Bobby bats his eyes rapidly, mirroring the same struggle Eddie is experiencing at this moment, fighting back tears. He pats Buck’s back twice “You’re welcome kid.” he replies with a soft chuckle. Buck wipes his eyes and sprints to the dinner table. Bobby reaches his arm to hold Eddie’s shoulder, his wondering gaze checking if everything is okay. Eddie simply grins gratefully and Bobby pats him too, before leading the way to their awaiting families.
~
The food is as delicious as expected and both Eddie’s boys basically inhale it. Buck is questioning Bobby about the secrets of every dish, taking mental notes, and keeps turning to Eddie to announce we are definitely gonna try that or how about we make this for dinner tomorrow? Eddie cherishes the use of we; it’s we from now on; them, a family. Bobby shoots him with a knowing look every time, which makes Eddie slightly bashful.
As soon as they are done, May encourages everyone to finish their wine outside, under the starry sky, since it is an unexpectedly warm night in December. Everyone follows her, but Eddie and Bobby are a bit slow, so they end up left behind. Bobby takes his wine glass and walks next to Eddie, both facing the backyard, where their favorite people are chatting. “How have you been Eddie?”
“Better.” Eddie replies “Since last night.”
Bobby grins, knowingly. “Demons won’t go away just like that, but it’s for sure a lot easier when you have someone who truly loves you by your side.” his eyes find Athena, who’s laughing at something May said.
Eddie nods, inhaling deeply, his tension melting away as he exhales. His eyes linger on Buck, squatted down next to Christopher, pointing at the sky. He is probably showing him the constellations again. “I’m so happy with him it scares me sometimes.” the confession escapes his lips on its own. This always happens with Bobby somehow.
With a soft exhale, Bobby's lips knit together. “I know the feeling.”
Eddie meets Bobby’s gaze and the shared understanding between them is a balsam to his tortured soul. “I still miss her you know.” he declares, recalling the conversation they had a long time ago.
“Shannon?” Bobby asks softly.
Eddie affirms with a silent nod.
“And you always will. That doesn’t mean you can’t be happy with Buck. You deserve it. And I’m sure, wherever she is, she is happy for you.”
Tears well in Eddie’s eyes for like the tenth time today. His biggest fears jump in his thoughts, demanding his attention. He is positive the only person he can admit that fear to is Bobby. Eyes back on his boyfriend, his love, his soulmate, his voice comes out low, unsteady “I never want to have to miss him…”
Bobby lets out a slow audible sigh. Palm resting on Eddie’s shoulder, he squeezes hard. “You know as well as I do that this job doesn’t come without risk. All we do is try our best, pray and live in the moment. We can’t stay away from the people we love for fear of losing them. That only leads to self-destruction. Trust me, I know first hand.” Eddie nods come in a steady rhythm, a silent affirmation. “Okay,” Bobby pats his shoulder, “how about we join our people?”
After a deep steadying breath, Eddie uncrosses his arms, ready to follow.
“And Eddie?” Bobby stops him before he can take a second step. “The fear will not be this strong forever. You just need some time to lick your wounds and find your ground again.” It certainly doesn’t feel that way now, but Eddie trusts Cap, so his words give him hope. “And, like I already told you at Christmas, I’m here if you need someone to talk to.” Bobby reminds him, his kindness always immeasurable.
Damn it, Eddie feels like crying again. Instead he channels his overwhelming gratitude into the bone-crushing hug he envelops Bobby in. “I don’t know where I would be without you Cap.”
“We’re family Eddie, no matter if we’ll work together again or not.” the fondness in his eyes melts Eddie’s heart. “And from now on, we are more of a family than ever.” Bobby is basically his father-in-law from now on, he realizes, and he can add that to the list of the endless advantages that come with dating Buck.
He follows Bobby outside, who wraps his arms around his wife and daughter, smiling gratefully at the sky. Eddie finds his spot next to his boyfriend, right behind their son. Buck turns to him, his hand cradling the nape of his neck tenderly, noticing how he suddenly looks particularly emotional. “Everything okay?” he asks.
Eddie lifts his hand, palm side up, wordlessly asking for Buck’s hand. The warmth of his touch envelops him as they thread their fingers together securely, seeps through the pores of his skin and travels up to his heart. His free hand finds Christopher’s shoulder and stays there, until his son looks up at him, with the glow in his eyes that Eddie had missed so much. Eddie finally looks at Buck and only that is enough for his chest to be filled with hope.
“Everything is perfect.” he answers and Buck’s beautiful lips spread in a luminous smile.
All three of them return their gaze to the sky, endless like the opportunities that scatter before them, promising a happy life, together.