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"Hyung, I want to see the outside world." Deon wistfully mumbled turning away from the window to face his brother.
"That..."
Upon seeing Cruel's knitted brows Deon quickly gave a brief smile "I'm just kidding... I don't even have time to go out because I am so busy reading books."
Deon finished briefly closing his eyes trying to give a convincing smile, before his thoughts shifted peaking his eyes open he paused glancing towards his brothers arm.
"Say Hyung, what is that you have in your hand?" Deon asked thoroughly confused as his brother rarely brought things along with him
Deon's head tilted innocently as he tried to lean over and get a better look at the object.
Cruel stared blankly at his brothers antics before he turned the object over holding it up to give Deon a better view.
"Hmm" a thoughtful expression overcame Deon's face, his eyebrow lifted questioningly as his index finger slowly reached up scratching his cheek, as hope filled his ruby eyes.
"It says 'Chess'... is it really the 'Chess' mentioned in the 'Basic Chess Rule-Book' I read the other day?" Deon's voice questioned getting more and more hopeful and bright and he examined the object
"Yes, I thought it would be good to keep it with you." Cruel's calm voice resounded back
Deon smiled brightly excitement shining clearly in his eyes as he practically bounced "Of course its amazing, I was so bored just reading books."
Deon flinched as he slowly processed his own words and realized his mistake, quickly avoiding eye contact he frantically muttered
"Um..."
"I- I mean... books are good?"
"Oops" Deon mumbled scratching the back of his head as he looked bashfully as his brother
"..."
At the stiff atmosphere Deon quickly tried to change the subject sputtering "T- though hyung, how is your swordsmanship these days? How's it going? Last time I took a peek out the window, it wasn't a joke, so show me properly later, okay?"
Cruel raised his eyebrow a gentle smile forming on his lips "Yes, but..."
"Deon, when you get a little older how would you like to go on a family trip?"
"A family trip...?" Deon eyes widened
"Really?" Deon shot up his eyes sparkling as he looked at Cruel expediently
Cruel gave a small chuckle ruffling Deon's hair "Yes, how about a picnic?"
"Can I... really?" Deon mumbled to himself, already imaging what that day would be like, a picnic, a family trip were he was a part of that family.
"Until then how about a game of chess?" Cruel spoke as he started walking over to a near by table to set it up, before he was stopped by a gentle tug on his shirt's sleeve.
Bright red eyes glanced up at him nervously, a rosy blush forming on Deon's checks before a small voice was heard
"Thank you, hyung" Deon smiled so brightly it lit up the room.
A child's laughter ran through the air as Deon rolled around in the flowers.
The grass was so soft and warm, the scent of the flowers that he had only ever looked at filled his nose.
Deon had waited for this day for what felt like an eternity as he'd researched what normal families did on picnics
It was so nice to finally feel the warm rays of the sun on him, if only briefly as he heard his parents chuckle before they called him back "Deon, you are going to get a sunburn come over here."
"Yes father" Deon quickly said, grabbing a handful of flowers which he had already picked before hurrying over the the rest of his family.
"Are you enjoying yourself, Deon?" his mother asked smiling gently as she glanced at him.
Deon gave a bright smile in return briefly closing his eyes as he beamed up at her "Yeah"
His mother chuckled softly "I'm glad"
Cruel looked silently at Deon, a brief smile came unto his face as he lifted up a little treat to Deon's view "Deon, come here."
"Hmm?" Deon asked cursory as he looked at the small macaron that sat in his brother hand
"Here." Cruel spoke bringing it up and to Deon's lips letting him take a small bite.
Deon eyes visibly sparkled at the taste before he licked his lips shyly, another bright smile formed on his face "Thank you hyung, its delicious."
Cruel froze at Deon's smile and before he could help it his own lips were curving upward,
"Hyung" Deon's head tilted a slight frown making itself known "You got to have some too right?"
Its unfair, thought cruel.
How was his heart suppose to deal with this level of cuteness?
Cruel blinked and slowly extended his hand out comfortably ruffing Deon's hair, his soothing voice rumbling out "Yes, don't worry."
Deon immediately looked relieved before a thoughtful pout came unto his face
"Hyung, I want to give you something too."
Deon grabbed the flowers that sat next to him a determined look filling his eyes "Please wait a second."
Deon then started nervously weaving the flowers together trying his best to not damage them, as anything less than perfect would be unbefitting of his brother.
He still hoped that Cruel would like it.
Deon hummed as he continued completely focused until he finished intertwining the flowers together
"Done" Deon whispered before a proud smile came unto his face
"Hyung."
"Hmm, yes Deon?" a cold voice sounded back
At Cruel's tone Deon started to feel nervous after all his brother was the hair, was it okay to give him a flower crown, Deon couldn't help but feel a little silly, still he wanted to give it to him.
A little blush started to cover Deon's checks as he nervously shifted a weak smile on his face as he lifted the flower crown
"I made this for you."
Cruel's face was unmoving as he leaned down letting Deon put the crown on his head.
"There," Deon smiled contently before the previous nervousness returned to his face he rubbed his index-fingers together looking away as he fumbled "I- in the books I read your suppose to give a flower crown to your loved ones on picnics..."
"..." A small and gentle smile worked eyes way into Cruel's face as he reached up briefly touching one of the flowers almost like it was a precious treasure "Thank you Deon, its perfect."
Deon's eyes lit up at Cruel's praise as a bubbly feeling rose in his gut, he actually got praised by his brother
A gentle breeze suddenly blew past them and a peaceful silence settled in before it was interrupted by their father,
"You two should run along and play now."
At his words their mother looked worriedly at Deon to which papa heart replied coldly "Come now dear, they are children and should act as such once in a while."
"..."
"Just, stay under the shade Deon." There mother replied giving a shaky smile
"And be careful you two" their father smiled looking at Cruel
Cruel gave a brief nod standing up and watching as Deon ran into the grass, laughing as he spun in a quick circle before he looked towards his family
"You said you would show me your swordsmanship, right hyung?" Deon mumbled playfully as he grabbed a butter-knife pointing it at his brother
Cruel gave a brief smile picking up a spoon and pointing it at Deon
Cruel watched as Deon's face morphed from pure excitement to confusion as his little face scrunched up, huh? Cruel stared confused why was his little brother making that face?
It was then that Cruel noticed the silent tears that were pouring down his own face, he reached up wiping some away and looking confusingly at his hand.
He was... crying? He continued looking at his hand, then the other one which still held the spoon that he had pointed at Deon.
Cruel's mind raced, what if he hurt his baby, what if something happened, he shouldn't be pointing something at that child.
He didn't want to hurt him, he rather die then ever harm Deon, for how could he even point a spoon at his precious baby brother?
Cruel shook violently, trembling as he dropped the spoon, tears continuing to flow down his face.
"Cruel? "Both of his parent had frowns on their faces as the looked concerned at their normally so collected son. "Cruel honey look at me whats wrong? Are you hurt anywhere?" said mama Hardt quickly standing up and grabbing Cruel's face, looking it over for injury.
"I- I just..." Cruel stumbled unsure of what to say,
"Hump" Deon hiccuped tears now flowing down from his own eyes at the sight of his brothers.
"Hyung-nim" Deon mumbled tearfully
Upon seeing Deon's tears more welled in Cruel's eyes as worry built his his chest, he had made his baby cry.
He was the older brother, he wasn't suppose to be crying, he had worried Deon...
Cruel reached his hand out placing it on Deon's cheek as he tried to sooth him, rubbing his thumb over his cheek again and again.
"Deon, I'm okay so you shouldn't cry anymore."
Deon hiccuped in response trying to give a smile, but the tears that collected in his scrunched up eyes just made him look pitiful.
The two Hardt parents looked unsurely at one another before they grabbed both of their children pulling them into their embrace.
"Hey It's okay you two, calm down now."
Mama Hardt gently wiped the tears off of Deon's cheeks before wrapping her arms around him, placing little kisses on his cheek as she continued to whisper that everything was fine until Deon laughed bubbly,
Count Hardt glanced at Cruel who had a thoughtful look on his face as he glanced towards Deon.
"What happened?"
Cruel looked at his father an odd and determined look in his eyes
"..."
"I... just never want to hurt him, I want him to be safe and happy. I'm his older brother after all I should be looking after him..."
Count Hardt smiled gently at his sons words before he laughed reaching over ruffling Cruel's hair "Good, he will need someone to look after him."
Cruel glanced up at his father "Just leave him to me." he promised
His father said something else but Cruel didn't catch it instead he looked at his family trying to engrave their image into his mind.
His little brothers bright and happy smile, his mothers soothing voice, and his fathers soft and gentle eyes.
And as if he was cherishing the moment a smile bloomed on Cruel's face,
He would protect them, most importantly he would always look after his baby brother.
"Young master, will you be eating in your room today as usual?"
"What about the others?" Deon asked
"The Count and Countess-"
"Our parents went out to attend to urgent business." Cruel interrupted stepping into Deon's room
Deon straitened at his brothers presence "Hyung, weren't you in the middle of training?"
"I finished it this morning. Come, Deon. Let's play chess." Cruel stated setting the chess board on the table
"...Yes, with pleasure."
Cruel's eyebrow rose, why was Deon speaking so formally to him almost like a stranger?
"Did I interrupt you when you were busy?"
A bitter smile grew on Deon's face "You're joking right? How could I be busy, no one visits me and I stay cooped up in my room-"
opps... that sounded mocking "No, I'm not busy." Deon fixed pulling out the chair across from his brother
"..."
"The nation is in chaos right now so our parents are extremely busy."
ha, Deon sighed internally before he moved the first chess piece.
Everyone was always saying how busy his parents were, but if they truly wanted to see him surely they would make time right?
It was obvious that his parents just didn't want to look at him.
"Yes, I know brother."
Still a part of Deon wanted to believe it, maybe his parents really were just busy.
He was so pathetic clinging on to that little bit on hope.
Still even if it was a lie it was a lie Deon gladly indulged in.
"I... won't be able to come and play chess with you for a while." Cruel's cool tone interrupted Deon's thoughts
Ah, again with my meaningless hopes
A nervous smile formed on Deon's face his brows twisting awkwardly, his chest felt heavy "...I'm sorry hyung-nim, you must find it cumbersome to come by all the time."
"That's not it Deon." Cruel's eyebrows scrunched together before he further explained
"When the wars starts, at least one family member of the Hardt family will be drafted, so-"
Before he could finish the rooms doors were rudely thrown open.
!
"What is the meaning of this?"
"Who are you, and how dare you-" Cruel's cold and angry voice resounded as he sat up
"I have come to deliver the message of the empire."
"Which one of you is Deon Hardt?"
???! what is going on? Deon's heart pounded loudly in his chest
"He is the one sitting across from young master Cruel." a servant replied bowing
Deon stared confounded before he saw his brothers fist clench
Was he angry?
"Please come with us" the solider stated coldly grabbing Deon's wrist and pulling him out the door.
"We will explain on the way."
"Wa- wait" Deon said hearing whispers around him
What was going on, Deon felt fear start to grow in the very pit of his stomach.
Cruel stepped in grabbing the solders wrist "Wait just a moment"
"Deon is not subject to the draft, this is a misunderstanding-"
The solider uncaring threw away Cruel's hand before coldly reciting "The house Hardt submitted an official document to the emperor."
"We are just doing our job, if you have questions ask your parents, they should be able to tell you if its a misunderstanding."
The solider once again grabbed Deon's wrist as he continued pulling him
Just what are they talking about? Deon's mind raced
My parents decided to send me to war?
What could someone like me possibly do on the battlefield aside from die?
Deon's eyes widened as he remembered his mothers grinning face as she apologized, his fathers disapproving stare, and his brother normal uncaringness towards him.
Tears built up in Deon's eyes, th- they wouldn't right?
"C- Cruel... I!" Deon turned around only to see no one, his brother gone without a word
Ringing resounded in Deon's ears as the world around him started to blur.
Did he not even care enough to see him go off to war, was he truly so sick of him.
Despair built in Deon's chest, did they really want me to die?
The simple answer the one he had known all along was yes,
Yes because he was the failure and dishonorment of the Hardt family and they had finally abandoned him
"Here" he was tossed a sword
"You will be sent to the battlefield soon."
"If you don't want to die, build your strength."
Deon looked disgruntledly at his sword, its... its so heavy...
Deon heard more whispers around him
"So that's him?"
"What's someone like him doing here, don't nobles usually get assigned safer units?"
"I guess the rumors about his family hating him are true."
Deon chest fell, hearing said out loud hurt so much.
"Look at him, I doubt he will make it long."
Deon grit his teeth trying to ignore the tear building in his eyes as he whispered "I- I don't want to die."
After that day living became another kind of hell.
One of endless fighting and bloodshed
He felt so hopeless trying to survive in a endlessly fruitless war,
As the years went by the stench of blood and death no longer bothered him
He wondered countlessly why he fought so hard to survive, so that he could go back home?
No
He had hardened his heart as he tried to forget every found memory he had of the Hardt family which as the years went on the happy memories became almost non-existent...
Still he couldn't hold it in his heart to fully hate them, as a part on him wondered if it was a misunderstanding, did his family really hate him.
Did no one truly love him, was he truly all alone in this world?
Deon tried to persist remembering that day, the day of the picnic where they are smiled and laughed together,
It was one of the few moments where he felt like he was part of the family.
Deon held onto that small hope, that even thought they were they ones who threw him into this war, that maybe they still cared a fraction of an inch, that would have been enough for Deon.
So he fought and fought and fought again, day in and out with the small hope that he would survive that he could be with his family again know the warm arms and love of someone
"I want to go home."
But was home really such a happy place?
Would his family be glad he survived did they care?
No, no his mind screamed
Still he held on
"Everyone, come get your care packages!"
"Care packages? Hmm, that's the first time I've heard of it."
Deon watched curiously as the others chattered
"Look! my daughter learned to write, and she sent me a letter."
"HAhaha, you must feel pretty amazing"
"My mothers food... I missed it so much!"
Deon slowly got up, barely breathing as he checking for something with his name on it, anything.
There was nothing for him, he scoffed ignoring the painful twinge of his heart "Just what the hell was I expecting"
Of course there was nothing for him, not a loving note, not a gift, just a notice that appointed him to commander on the front lines.
Where he would have to fight even harder to survive.
Ha
What a joke
Yes, his family didn't care
Anger burned in his soul as he clenched the notice
He decided right then and there that he would make them pay with their lives, he would turn that house upside down just as they had made his life into one of a living hell.
Yes, they never cared for him, he was a burden, a disappointment, a useless child sent here to die...
He was just a pathetic fool,
How could he forget.
When Deon was sent off to war the Hardt family had done everything it could do to try and get him back but nothing worked,
Cruel's mind always replayed that day, the tears that streamed down his little brothers betrayed face as he called for him yet he did nothing.
When Deon was first born Cruel had sworn in his heart that he would look after Deon, that little hand, that little warmth that had stolen his cold heart
Yet the moment Deon needed him he'd failed.
Cruel vividly remembered thinking this all a misunderstanding, I'm sure talking this over with our parents and it will all be resolved.
Yet it never was.
Tears had streamed uncontrollably down his face as he sobbed for his baby brother the night he'd realized Deon wasn't coming home, that he, his weak and innocent baby was at war and there was nothing he could do.
All that remained on that day was regret, he should have done more, he should have grabbed Deon by the arm and never let go,
He should have wrapped him so tightly into his embrace that the guards might have been forced to take him as well.
Not a day passed when Cruel wasn't worried about Deon-- was he okay, was he hurt, was he eating enough.
He had sent countless letters to him hoping that they reached him, hoping that one day that child would come home.
The days following seemed to go by in a haze, as he studied to be the successor, or trained in swordsmanship.
All the while his thoughts never left Deon's smiling face, or the way he would cling to him, the way Deon's eyes brightened every time he saw him as he'd call out "hyung."
A constant fear lingered in his heart that one day he would get a letter, a letter saying he'd never see his little brother again.
If that day ever came Cruel would end his own life there, for what would he have left but the blood of his own brother on his hands...
Cruel's thoughts continued to race as he picked up a spoon a glint came into his eyes as he looked at it,
He berated himself for not noticing the lonely and pained looks that often lingered in his baby brothers eyes,
He hoped that child knew he was loved, knew that Cruel adored him, he hoped that child wasn't fighting thinking he was alone.
Cruel knew his love was toxic yet he hoped Deon knew he was loved.
His memories from that day resurfacing the day he'd pointed that spoon at Deon,
The day he had promised to his parents that he would always look after Deon and protect him.
A promise he couldn't keep
Cruel stared solemnly before he gently sat the spoon down his eyes never leaving it "If... when that child comes back I will not fail again."
"Even if it cost me my life I will protect him next time." Cruel swore
Then the day Deon returned finally came and Cruel was sent out.
The entire time his mind raced, the clinks of the horses feet galloping loudly was the only sound he could hear.
Why would his parents send him out the day Deon returned, why had they been getting rid of servants?
Deon had requested something to the emperor something bigger that his current accomplishments... What could be bigger than serving as the vanguard for 8 years- Wait
By the time Cruel arrived it was too late
There stood his baby brother, alive yet clearly suffering as tears rolled down his eyes in the blood soaked room.
"Hyung..." Deon mumbled reaching out for him like he was his salvation, before realization flashed in his eyes and he aimed his dagger and lunged at Cruel only for his body to lose all its strength as he passed out.
As Cruel raised his sword at the man who had slain his parent his hand shook, tears now freely flowing down his own face.
No, no it- this- how could this happen?
This was his kind and innocent baby brother, yet he had raised his sword.
Cruel scoffed shakily dropping it as he looked around the room, his loving parents gone at the hands of his own little brother.
What did he have left now?
Why?
His parents were incompetent as they couldn't protect Deon, knowing this is this why they had sent him away? To willingly die here as punishment for their sins, an atonement for failing their son?
Cruel's eyes trailed to his little brother's face as he watched the tears continue to flow down, Deon's eyebrows twitching like he was in pain.
Cruel looked at his sword, how could I kill you? Let alone hate you who is more precious than even my own life... Even now I can hate you.
You're suffering.
You always have been.
...
Your all I have now Deon...
If I kill you now I will lose everything, so instead...
Cruel made up his mind right there
I will give you my everything, you will be my goal, my life, and my death. I will forever be by your side Deon.
"Baby" Cruel shook once again reminded of his promise to always look after his baby brother.
He remembered his father's proud smile that day when Cruel said to leave Deon's protection to him, yet now the very stench of his fathers blood lingered in the air.
He remembered the tears that had flowed down Deon's face that day, reflected by his own
It was ironic, Cruel couldn't even point a spoon at Deon, a spoon that represented happier times.
To Cruel a day he would forever cherish
Cruel had swore never to point his sword at Deon, for how could he hurt his precious baby brother?
"Baby, when will you stop suffering?"
Your all I have, so be happy Deon.
Cruel gently set Deon against a wall before he disappeared. He had a new motivation, a misunderstanding there is no way his kind and gentle brother could do this
What happened, he swore he would find out.
The second Cruel laid eyes on the famous 0 corps commander he immediately knew it was Deon.
From the strands of white hair the poked out from his hood, the way he walked, and his very presence, was one Cruel would recognize anywhere.
It was only confirmed when he opened his mouth and Cruel heard his voice,
"So... you're the new hero." Deon stated
"...That's what they call me, though I feel undeserving of that title."
After all a hero is someone that accomplished something, all Cruel had was failure, could such a man really be called a hero?
"..."
"Yes, I have heard a lot about you."
"But I think your voice sounds strangely familiar." Irritatingly so, Deon added as an afterthought.
"Have we met before?" Deon questioned tilting his head slightly
"Ah never mind, can you just take your helmet off?" Deon said smiling eerily as he briefly closed his eyes.
"... Okay" Cruel said staring blankly for a moment before he slowly reached up and pulled his helmet off, after all his little brother had asked him to how could he say no...
Some of his subordinates cried behind him, wounding why he would do such a thing, but Cruel didn't care his full attention was on the man in front of him.
"Cruel?" Deon slowly whispered his own subordinates pipping up cursorily as to how the 0 corps commander knew the hero.
"Yes" he responded back immediately
"So it is you..."
"What fortune." Deon smiled, raising his daggers only to notice his brother hadn't unsheathed his sword.
"Ha," Deon scoffed "Am I not even worth the trouble of you pulling out your blade now?"
"Oh well" Deon mumbled before he leapt plunging his dagger at Cruel only for something to block it...
Was that a spoon?
Where the fuck did he even get a spoon?
Deon momentarily stopped as he looked flabbergasted at the spoon which had stopped his attack
"You?" Deon stuttered looking into Cruel's deep emerald eyes
"Do you look down on me that much?" Deon mumbled anger seeping out of his tone as his red eyes shone brilliantly.
Cruel Hardt remained silent, instead he pointed the spoon at Deon before looking down at it almost hesitantly, as if unsure of his own actions as the hand which held the spoon started to shake.
"Is- is this some kind of joke?" Deon tilted his head once again staring into the blank eyes of his brother questioningly,
"..."
"You invaded the demon realm and now you want to play games?"
Deon sighed, he would rather not fight if he didn't have to, his body was almost at its limit and he was tired of always fighting, trying his hardest every moment to survive just another day.
As regrettable as it was that he wouldn't get the chance to kill Cruel Hardt here, this was not the right place, there were too many spectators.
Deon slowly opened his mouth "Then lets not waist any more energy, we both defended our lands so lets end this war here."
Is he following me?
Good, Deon thought as he stared as his brother
"What great timing, I have to kill all witnesses you see," Deon smiled dangerously before continuing
"Especially if they happen to be a subordinate to the leader of the nobles."
Deon aimed his dagger at Cruel only for him to put away his sword, instead taking out a spoon?
The fucking spoon, again.
"..." Cruel stared blankly
Deon mimicked his expression for a moment, his eyebrows twitching as his thoughts raced
He glared skeptically at Cruel, what is that bastard planning...?
Still I guess it works for me Deon shrugged as he pointed his dagger again charging at Cruel only for something to bop him on his head almost... playfully?
Cruel had tapped him with a spoon, Deon stopped looking at Cruel much like how a child would look at something they had never seen before.
Why, what on earth, Deon stared incoherently almost innocently tilting his head at Cruel, it was all so confusing why does he act like this?
Aren't you suppose to hate me?
Then why instead of bloodlust do I see fondness?
Why do you do such a silly thing?
It a perfect chance for you, I'm alone yet you don't strike at me...
If you really wanted to kill me you would have done it.
"Just what is your game, what are you playing at?" Deon asked glaring unsurely at Cruel
Before a memory flashed through Deon's head, one of Cruel looking towards him spoon in hand as tears ran down his face.
Just what- what was he incentivizing here, why bring up something so deep in the past?
Nothing made sense, why do you...
"You-"
Before he could finish Cruel interrupted him "Deon..."
Cruel hesitated before continuing "Have you... been taking care of yourself?"
Deon look gobsmacked at Cruel's words "Why do you care?" Deon glared but before he could say anything more an assassin grabbed his leg, turning Deon sighed arming his dagger as he quickly dealt with him
Turning around again, Cruel was gone.
Demon Arut had been glaring at his spoon for the past 10 minutes straight, he hadn't touched his food or said a word.
All the corps commanders were eyeing him cautiously while questioning if something was wrong but to scared to approach and ask.
It wasn't until the first corps commander Jaykar went up to him and asked "May I sit with you?" that some of the tension broke.
Arut looked at him blankly for a minute before slowly nodding
"I've noticed that you haven't touched your food, is everything to your liking sir Arut?" Jaykar questioned after a moment.
Arut looked down at his food, his eyebrow twitching slightly as if he'd just noticed it was there "Ah... yes, everything is fine."
"Then If I may, what seems to be bothering you?"
"I- " Arut paused seemingly contemplating his words before he looked up his bright eerie red eyes shinning at Jaykar as he asked
"Do you think its possible to kill someone with a spoon?"
Jaykar stared for a moment mainly between the spoon that sat in Arut's hand and the murderous gleam in the 0 corp commanders eyes before Jaykar promptly scooted back his seat.
"Yes, I suppose its possible." Jaykar responded after a minute.
"Hmn" Arut's brows knitted as a thoughtful look came onto his face "I see."
Arut stood up and most of the cafeteria flinched at his sudden action as every ones eyes sweatily followed the spoon that still sat in his hands.
As everyone single one of them questioned if they were going to be murdered by the infamous 0 corps commander with a spoon that day.
Instead Arut simply walked out of the cafeteria stabbing spoon still in hand.
They all released a collective breath of air when the doors shut, the same thought racing through every single one of their minds, the 0 corps commander really was terrifying...
Meanwhile Deon's thoughts raced as he unknowingly started to walk towards the library,
He hadn't been able to stop thinking about Cruel's odd behavior the last time they met, his brother never joked so why was he acting like that?
What that it?
Was Cruel trying to kill him with a spoon?
Deon rubbed his temple something didn't feel right as a knot tried in his stomach.
When he arrived at the library he opened the doors, going to the bookshelves his hand automatically pulling out the book on heroes,
He flipped to the 4th hero, a frown and rather pissed off expression on his face the entire time as he grumpled wondering why he was even doing this.
Deon eyes scanned the page
'Forth hero Cruel Hardt'
'Known to be related by blood to the third hero, Deon Hardt. Although he is known not as a person of the emperor but of the duke who opposes him. '
'...He acts as if hes suppressing the dukes order rather than following him faithfully, such as distorting and offsetting them'
As Deon read over it he scoffed, quickly slamming the book shut again, "There is no way that's true."
Deon thought about his brother, the elegant and near perfect man with that emotionless face, fuck just thinking about him pissed Deon off, yeah he was nothing but a bastard.
Deon quickly put the book back and walked out determined and convinced that Cruel simply wanted to kill him in the most painful and humiliating way possible.
...
At least he wanted to.
"Haa" Deon sighed pacing around his room, he couldn't get the image out of his head, Cruel standing there pointing a spoon at him with that look in his eyes,
A look of what, was it longing, hateful, loathing, or was it reminiscent? Deon found he didn't know, but whatever emotion those green eyes told made Deon's stomach turn.
He felt like he was missing something important. He couldn't shake the feeling, a twisting feeling in his gut that he'd done something terrible.
Why had his brother pointed that spoon at him, why did he seem so damn insistent on getting Deon on his side the day of the banquet, what did he seem so mad when Deon got attacked that day and why had Cruel secretly checked in on him.
Why did he seem so shaken when Deon stated he knew it was his brother sending those assassins?
Cruel's actions made no sense it was illogical.
So it was with a heavy heart he asked the 2nd commander to look into the 4th hero Cruel Hardt for him, and all of his involvement with the empire, and the duke.
Deon tried to fool himself into thinking that at least if Cruel's info revealed nothing new he would at least have something on that peacock like man.
He needed more information on what exactly that man had to do with magic, why had the demon king brushed him off so easily, he was missing something...
And if he wasn't careful that something may very well cost him his life, Deon smirked nervously.
He beraids himself as he continued go pace around his room. He kept asking himself just what the hell he thought he was going to find,
He thought he'd stopped clinging to these small hopes year ago, yet there he was hoping, begging for something he knew he wouldn't find.
Who was he kidding he was just going to find more of what he already knew, Cruel hated him just as he hated Cruel...
Yet as he spread those papers across his desk his red eyes gleaming with both anger and self-loathing, there was no evidence of what he'd believed.
It was the duke that changed the war resignation letter, it was originally Cruel that was suppose to be sent to war, his family had also sent multiple retraction letters trying to get Deon back.
A haunted feeling sank in Deon's chest
It was a misunderstanding...
He'd killed innocent people- his own parents... they had done nothing wrong.
Did the emperor know, did he let Deon kill them knowing what he knew now.
Was he simply a pawn in their little game...
Deon's head started to spin the stress of all the information starting to take its tole.
What was he suppose to do now...
Cruel,
Deon remembered the words he'd read in that book, his brother suppressed the dukes orders, why?
His brother hadn't send him to war but that didn't mean he cared for him either and now Deon was sure that he hated him for killing their parents,
Maybe it was good that Cruel Hardt hated him, he wasn't deserving of such love,
Would it be good if cruel killed him?
Deon's head became clearer or maybe Deon just stared to ignore the feeling as he made up his mind, he needed to see Cruel.
Deon grabbed Cruel's collar almost yelling, his eyes burning with anger as he remembered the reason his brother worked under the duke "Am I a kid to you that needs protecting?"
"You are my baby brother I cannot just ignore you."
"Why do you care now, you never did." Deon stated both anger and confusion in his eyes as his hands which still held onto Cruel's collar shook.
"I killed our parents, who were innocent." Deon's hand shook more furiously now
"Their blood is on my hands, you have every reason to hate me, so why do you not kill me?"
A chocked sob wrenched itself out of Deon's throat before he harshly whispered "I don't deserve to live."
"..." Cruel stared at Deon silently watching as tears started running down his cheeks his body trembling as his red eyes glared violently unperturbed by the tears staining them
"So why?" Deon shouted clenching Cruel's collar "Answer me you bastard."
Cruel reached out quietly wiping away some of the tears that clung to Deon's check.
Cruel opened his mouth only to quickly shut it before opening it again.
"I have always cared for you Deon, I'm sorry I didn't show it before and let you believe differently."
"Even after you killed our parents I couldn't bring myself to even hate you let alone kill you, how could I, you my precious baby brother?"
Deon's eyes trembled as many emotions flashed through his eyes.
"Liar"
Deon's mind clouded as he thought of Cruel, his cold and uncaring brother, how could Cruel not hate him after everything hes done.
"Ha, you, there's no way-"
Before he could finish Cruel grabbed Deon's trembling form pulling him into his arms
Deon flinched before he started struggling but after Cruel's arms tightened he had no choice but to accepted the embrace.
"Baby... I'm so sorry" Cruel pained voice rumbled his eyes now wet as he thought about just how badly he must have hurt Deon.
Deon froze staring stupidly before slowly reaching up and wiping away the single fallen tear that slipped down Cruel's cheek before looking at his wet thumb.
He cared, he actually cared, Deon had trouble processing everything as head started to feel dizzy as he continued to stare at his brother's face,
Into the emerald green eyes that showed such regret and despair, but also such warmth, how had Deon never noticed before?
"..." Deon stay silent in his brothers warm embrace for a while before he whispered just loud enough for Cruel to hear
"Hyung what should I do... I can never atone for the sin of taking their lives, but perhaps by giving my own."
Cruel stayed silent for a moment before letting go of Deon watching at he stepped back before he responded "Don't look away, accept all of what you have done so far Deon."
"But know that our parents were not without their sins, as they couldn't even keep you safe."
"Their death was the price they payed, to which they themselves had agreed upon."
"They died willingly by your hand Deon they would have accepted any punishment you gave them, and in return they just wanted you to be happy and safe, so if you wish to atone you must live your life as they would have wanted you to."
Cruel finished a kind but small smile making its way onto his face as he cupped Deon's cheeks "Live."
"Even if you want to die you must live, Deon."
"..." a pained expression now covered Deon's face, upon seeing it Cruel's heart trembled weak to his babies wishes and before Cruel could stop himself he mumbled
"But... if you really want to die now, then shall we die together?"
"No!" Deon squinted up at Cruel like he was crazy before a glare overtook his features as a threateningly ice cold voice rumbled
"Hyung-nim,"
Cruel immediately shrunk under Deon's glare looking a little flustered only visible by a slight flinch of his shoulder and a twinge of his brow.
"Don't ever say something like that again."
"..."
Cruel avoided eye contact before hesitantly mumbling "Okay..."
Deon tightly hugged Cruel again tucking his head into Cruel neck and wrapping his arms around the others frame like a life line, in return Cruel hugged Deon back wrapping him further into the embrace.
They stayed in each others arms for a while simply relishing in the fact that the other was there.
Two people who had lost everything but each other, two brothers who needed one another more than any thing else in the world. A reason to wake and fight on, to survive.
Staying in a comfortable silence still wrapped in the others arms Deon felt at home,
Such an odd feeling for a man who had never really known the love of a home, not knowing what to do with the warmth in his chest a teasing smirk grew on Deon's lips.
Pulling away slightly Deon mumbled
"So..."
"A spoon, hyung?"
"..." Cruel briefly looked away unsure of what to say he remained silent for an awkward moment before finally mumbling "... yes."
Deon let out a bright laugh the edges tainted with melancholy, his eyes held a hopeful yet painful and unforgiving gleam
The sound was so similar yet so very different from his old and carefree laugh, yet It reminded Cruel of the old days when they where simply children playing with silverware, laughing in the ignorance of what was to come.
Still Cruel couldn't help but smile too, as he reached his hand over and ruffled Deon's hair an old almost unfamiliar action.
As long as they were together the future looked bright, they could overcome any obstacle, as long as Deon was here safe in his arms nothing else mattered,
For Deon had carved a hole strait through his heart, and as Cruel glanced silently at Deon whose face held such tragedy he supposed they both had a hole in their hearts, a spoon-shaped hole.
A hole that longed for what was in the past, those peaceful days spent as a family, yet knew such things could never be.
Yet the very fact that it existed gave hope,
A hope that they would mend the holes in their hearts together.