Chapter Text
Three weeks. It had been three bloody weeks and all she had done was sent him for coffee!!!
Clara wasn’t even mad anymore. To be honest, she hadn’t really been mad in the first place.
He was trying, she knew he was. Didn’t mean she wouldn’t be slightly cross with him when he finally decided to show up again. And she didn’t doubt anymore that he would come back.
But until then, life went on. Life, for Clara Oswald, when she wasn’t on board the TARDIS.
Which meant, teaching.....and apparently attending staff meetings. God, she hated staff meetings.
„Clara, you haven’t met Danny Pink yet, have you?!“
She turned and looked at the guy Mr. Armitage was pointing at.
„New fella, Maths. Danny, Clara Oswald, English.“
„Hey.“, she said, smiling politely.
„Hello. Pleased to meet you.“
„You want to watch yourself around him. Bit of a ladykiller but he always denies it.“
„I’m not a ladykiller.“ Clara chuckled.
He didn’t look like a ladykiller. She’d met ladykillers. That strange species on that one planet the Doctor had taken her to once, weren’t they called ladykillers?! Very friendly creatures albeit with a terrible fashion sense.
Mr. Armitage excused himself and left her and Danny standing in the staff room, an awkward silence building between them.
„So…“ She’d seen him earlier, hadn’t she? In the yard.
„Was it you I saw outside? Doing the soldiery thing?“
„Yeah, probably. The Coal Hill cadets. Just a bit of fun.“
She smiled. „What, teaching them how to shoot people?“
His expression changes quickly then, which is strange because she hadn’t meant anything by it.
„There’s a bit more to modern soldiering than just shooting people. I like to think there’s a moral dimension.“
„What you shoot people and cry about it afterwards?“
God, she was on fire today! The Doctor would have liked that one.
But Danny, it seemed, did not. His face just sort of….crumbled.
„Oh….“
„Something wrong?“
She really wasn’t making a great first impression on him, was she.
„Nothing. No, sorry, no, nothing. I just didn’t think they’d say anything.“
„Sorry?“ Who said what now?
„Have they told everyone?“
„No….as far as I know, nobody has told anybody anything. What are you talking about?“
„…why did you just say the crying thing?“
„I was being funny.“
„Why?“
„Because….I just do that.“
„Why?“
What kind of question was that.
„I… I don’t know.“ God, this was awkward. He was visibly uncomfortable.
„Anyway, I erm, I’ve left some stuff in my classroom….see you.“
„Yeah, ok. See you.“
Good Lord. She let out a relieved breath and tried to puzzle out what had gone so wrong in that conversation. Danny seemed nice enough, so was it something she said? The soldier thing?
She went to collect her notes and heard muttered chatting in the hallways, smiling to herself.
The mention of 'Mr. Pink' made her pause though.
„He cried?“
„Yeah, I’m telling you! In class!“
„Never!“
„For real, he did! Must have had some kind of war flashback or something.“
„That’s so weird! I think he….“
But the two girls had walked away from her and she never heard the end of that sentence. So that’s why he’d reacted so strangely. Oh dear, she’d really put her foot in it, hadn’t she. Clara sighed. This wouldn’t do.
She walked down the corridor, until she’d reached the classroom at the end of the hallway. Inside, the chairs were already turned on top of the tables, no student in sight. And Danny Pink was banging his head on his desk, repeatedly.
„Any particular reason you’re doing that?“
She startled him and sees him freeze, gaze firmly fixed on the table surface in front of him.
„No…just,… general humiliation.“
„Yeah, about that….“ She leans in the doorway, observing him.
„Listen, I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t know,…about the soldier business.“
He considers her, barely nods. Clara still feels bad.
„Let me make it up to you! You’re going to the thing tonight, right? The leaving thing, for Cathy?“
He starts to think of an excuse, she can sense it, and interrupts him quickly.
„I’ll give you a lift. Come on, it will be fun.“
„I was gonna do some….reading.“
„Take your book with you then, in case it gets boring.“ She's tapping her hand against the doorframe, a friendly smile on her face, already turning to leave.
„See you later!“ Danny didn’t answer but Clara didn’t really expect him to.
He had that dazed look on his face and it reminded her off the Doctor three weeks ago. He’d looked so startled when she’d hugged him.
It felt good to have him back. Her best friend. Or something like that. They hadn’t exactly established what kind of relationship they would have from here on out. He wasn’t the same man anymore. He wouldn’t constantly hug her or hold her hand and... part of her felt sad.
This new guy wasn’t really the hugging sort. Or the hand holding sort, come to think of it. Although that was quite a shame, since he had such nice hands.
And here we go again!
Clara stopped dead in her tracks.
What is it with you and his hands woman! Good god!
She blushes, smiling to herself and opens the door to the stationary cupboard to her left, nearly running into an outstretched arm with two coffee cups held towards her.
Clara stares right into the face of the man she’d just been thinking about.
„Where the hell have you been?“
——————————————
Uh oh. She was cross with him. Was she cross with him? She’d been smiling and then she’d stopped. He needed more data to proceed.
„You sent me for coffee.“
„Three weeks ago. In Glasgow.“
Ah, that was it then.
„Three weeks - that’s a long time.“
Had it been that long since he’d last seen her? Surely not!
„In Glasgow - that’s dead in a ditch.“
„It’s not my fault, I got distracted.“
„By what?“ You hugging me, your eyes, your smile, all your smiles actually, why do you have so many….
„You can always find something. Come on!“
He turns to walk into the TARDIS and she follows him after only a moments hesitation.
„Why were you smiling?“
„Was I? No, I wasn’t!“ She sounds almost guilty. Now why was that?
„Yes, you were, you were smiling at nothing. I’d almost say you were in love…“ and he freezes.
Clara doesn’t notice, absently touching her lips that seemed to have betrayed her.
Was she in love…. was she?
Was there someone who made her heart beat faster? Someone who made her smile like that?
His frown deepened and he felt a surge of something dark and twisted in his gut but pushed it down.
Down, down, down...
He wasn’t accustomed to this. She could do whatever she liked, he shouldn’t...….so what was it then?
Clara. Clara, Clara, Clara, Clara.
„Yes?“ He looked up and found her staring. Oh. He’d said that out loud. Her name. Just her name. 5 times. Great.
He handed her the coffee and stepped around the console.
„I need something from you. I need the truth.“
Why were you smiling? Are you in love? With who? And why? There’s no one good enough. Why aren’t you drinking your coffee? I wasn’t sure how you’d take it, it might have too much sugar….
„Okay, right“ She’s sitting down, pointing for him to join her on the stairs.
„What is it, what’s….“
But before he can speak, she continues: „You’re scared.“
He stares at her. How did she do that? It was simply unfair. How could she read him so easily when he was still trying to figure out if she always got that little crease on her forehead when she frowned.
„I’m terrified.“ Her gaze softened and his cheeks felt warm.
„Of what?“
„The answer to my next question. Which must be honest and cold and considered, without kindness or restraint.“
He knew he’d set her up to fail from the very beginning. Clara Oswald without kindness.....if he'd ever see the day.
„Clara, be my pal, tell me…...am I a good man?“
She's quiet for the longest time. And he realizes, to his horror, that she bites her lip when she thinks deeply about something and a blush creeps up his neck all the way to his ears. He blinks. Mercifully, she finally speaks.
„I don’t know.“
He sighs. It’s not a ‚no‘. It’s honest. It’s Clara without kindness.
„Neither do I.“ He gets up quickly, turns back to the console and slams down the lever.
„Hey, no offense, but I’ve got plans.“
And there it is again, that dark and twisted feeling, rearing it’s ugly head, crawling out, it’s long fingers grasping for him.
With whom, he wants to ask but doesn't because even to himself it sounds ridiculous. She hadn’t seen him in three weeks, of course she had plans. But then….she hadn’t seen him in three weeks. Surely, she wouldn’t mind an adventure. But maybe, whoever had put that smile on her face, gave her a different kind of thrill. Something that made her heart beat faster....
He felt a tight frown form on his face and told her the only thing he could think of in that moment. The truth.
„I need you.“
Clara simply nods and goes to stand opposite him, a crooked smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.
„Right.“ she said. „Where are we going?“
Maybe her plans hadn’t been that important after all. Relief floods through him before he realizes how selfish he's being.
After all, they were grim clouds on the horizon. Where are we going….
„Into darkness.“