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Summary
Understanding is a funny thing, especially when one pushes against the pull of it, resists the temptation of realisation into deep ends, buried underneath tremendous desires of life. He was never, ever unaware, but also never ever fully aware. Understanding is a dangerous thing, you see, and now he’s sitting inside his car, alone, five feet under their dead bodies.
OR: a somewhat fix-it, somewhat patrick-centric, long-haul fic.