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Trevor was exhausted.
With his newfound joint custody agreement between Smosh and Mythical, he was feeling a little stretched. It wasn't like he wasn't given a fair amount of time off, it was just a lot to keep up with.
He had said that he was feeling overwhelmed with his schedule consisting of Mythical and streaming on the Smosh Mouth podcast. Nobody had pointed out that adding yet another thing to that list would only stress him out more.
He would never complain, his job was a dream come true for most, but it was starting to take its toll on Trevor.
He had only really began to contemplate his vast workload on his way to the Mythical office after filming three videos at Smosh. It was getting a little late, but all he had left for today was an Old Foods video with Josh.
He slammed through the doors, threw his apron on, and slid next to Josh behind the counter.
"Cutting it a little close, Trevor." Josh observed.
They did their intro and started the video off smoothly, Josh quickly bringing up that Trevor was nearly late to the shoot.
"Hey man, I have a lot going on." Trevor shot back. "You're lucky to have me here today."
"Well, Trevor, maybe I'd prefer a different cohost. Someone I can have intelligent conversations with." Josh joked.
"Hey, I can converse intelligently! Name a topic, take a stance, and I'll debate you right now, old man!" Trevor challenged him, jumping up and down to keep himself energetic.
"Okay..." Josh accepted. "I think that America should completely privatise health care and education to cut down on taxes. Tell me why you disagree."
"Hmmm." Trevor thought while he stirred his bowl. "Ok, let's say... my aunt opens a school. A doctor school. It's one dollar for admission and it's a three week course. Her school teaches students that the cure to every ailment is a lobotomy. Now, everyone is going to go to this school because its one dollar and you're handed your doctorate in three weeks. The government can't do anything because they can't put regulations on health care or education, so now any time someone is sent to the hospital for any reason, part of their brain is cut out. So you've essentially ensured Lobotomy America."
"This is an intelligent conversation to you?" Josh asked, laughing.
"Bruh, where's your rebuttle? My point is solid." Trevor said defensively.
"Well if that happened Congress would just make helathcare and education public again." Josh reasoned.
"Mmm they can't. They all have lobotomies." Trevor said bluntly. Josh sighed and dropped his hands in defeat. "All roads lead to Lobotomy America." Trevor announced tragically.
"Alright, let's get back on topic!" Josh segued, clapping his hands together forcefully. "We need to take our appetising concoction and blend it up." He pulled the blender out, plugged it up, and hit the button to test it. The blender remained stationary. "Alright, Trevor is going to fix the blender while I tell you all about these great aprons we are selling!"
Trevor sighed, sliding the blender over to himself and beginning to dismantle it. Josh droned on about shipping prices and discount codes while Trevor checked the batteries, the connection, and the blade for any damages.
"Trevor! How's that blender coming?" Josh asked, turning his whole body toward his young assistant.
"Uhhhh... I'm working on it." Trevor replied, his hand still on the blade.
"You haven't even tried it yet!" Josh exclaimed, pushing the button. In his excitement, he had forgotten that the blender was still plugged in. Though, on the bright side, it seemed Trevor had fixed the blender. It roared to life, slicing into Trevor's hand faster than anyone had time to process.
Trevor leapt backward, hitting his head against the cabinets, clutching his now bleeding hand to his chest.
"Oh my God, Trevor, I'm so sorry! Are you okay?!" Josh asked, immediately rushing over to his side, internet persona forgotten.
"It's my fault, I should have unplugged it, I wasn't thinking--" Trevor blurted out, stammering. His eyes stayed fixed on the blood that was steadily pooling and overflowing from his cupped hands.
Josh grabbed a towel and thrust it into Trevor's hands, grabbing the bleeding one and wrapping the towel around it, which turned crimson within seconds.
"I think this is an E.R. moment." Trevor offered, looking up at Josh for guidance.
"I'll drive you." Josh said shakily, grabbing his keys and leading Trevor towards the parking lot.
"I-i don't wanna get blood all over your car--" Trevor protested.
"Gotta tell you, man, that's not even in the top ten things I care about right now." Josh responded, still ushering the younger man toward his car.
They got on the road quickly, driving far too fast.
"It really is my fault, Josh." Trevor insisted quietly.
"Trevor." Josh responded, subtextually insisting that there isn't a reason for him to feel guilty.
"I haven't been focused because I have so much going on, and I know that isn't an excuse, but I ruined the whole video today and they're gonna have to buy a whole new blender and--"
"Trevor, I'm serious. It wasn't any one person's fault. Sure, you should have unplugged the blender, but I should have checked before hitting the button, and the crew should have gotten us a blender that works in the first place. Throwing blame around doesn't help, and all that matters right now is making sure that we didn't hit an artery and you live long enough to see our whole new blender they're gonna buy us." Josh ranted, pulling in to park in front of the emergency room.
Trevor stepped out of the car and immediately his legs gave out. Looking down, he realised he had bled right through the towel and his entire front was covered in red.
Josh helped him up and halfway carried him into the building, setting him down in one of the empty chairs.
"Fill out this clipboard and we'll be right with you." a nurse told him.
"No, we don't have time. He needs stitches right now!" Josh insisted, gesturing over to Trevor
"I'm sure he does, sir, but we're very busy and you'll just have to wait your turn." she said, sounding bored.
"Is there a doctor I can talk to?" Josh asked angrily. The nurse simply shoved the clipboard into his hands and pointed toward the waiting area.
Josh grumbled, but relented, spending the next twenty minutes filling out all of Trevor's information and then returning to sit next to him.
Trevor laid his head against Josh's shoulder, "Josh, I don't feel good."
"I know, Trev. I'm sure they'll get to you soon."
He drastically underestimated the evil that is the American healthcare system.
Once Trevor finally made it back there, he was barely conscious at all.
"Why did he sit in the waiting room so long?! You should have said something!" the doctor chastised, making quick work of sterilising Trevor's hand and stitching it up.
"I tried, but the nurse insisted that we fill out the clipboard and wait our turn." Josh said meekly, holding Trevor's good hand while the needle threaded through his skin.
The doctor gave an exasperated sigh, "he's lucky to be alive. If he was any shorter he would have already passed out by now."
Josh wasn't sure how that worked, but didn't question it. Trevor was leaning heavily against Josh, and looked dangerously close to passing out anyway, height be damned. Maybe he should have argued harder.
"Come on man, stay with me." Josh urged.
"It's cold in here" Trevor whined, dropping Josh's hand in favour of rubbing his own face roughly.
"That's textbook blood loss." the doctor stated, grabbing a clipboard and noting something down. "What's your blood type, hun?"
"Uh," Trevor responded, clearly having trouble forming coherent thoughts. "AB neg"
"Alright, I'll be right back", she said as she cleaned the last of the blood from Trevor's hand. "Don't let him fall asleep." she added pointedly to Josh.
"This kind of sucks" Trevor mumbled, already picking at his new stitches.
Josh grabbed Trevor's hand again, rubbing his back with the other one, "I'm sorry, man."
"If you apologise again I'm gonna fall asleep" Trevor threatened, laughing weakly.
"Alright..." Josh said, wracking his brain for a way to keep Trevor awake. "Know any good palendromes?"
"What?" Trevor asked, turning to look at Josh.
"You know. Words or phrases that are the same forwards and backwards. Madam I'm Adam. Racecar. Stuff like that." Josh said.
"Oh... so like... A nut for a jar of tuna? Or... Egad, a base tone denotes a bad age?" Trevor responded thoughtfully.
"What the hell? Are you some kind of sleeper genious?" Josh asked, laughing.
"Who can't have an intelligent conversation now?" Trevor joked, flexing his injured hand.
The doctor re-entered the room with an IV stand and a bag of blood.
She set it up and inserted it into Trevor's arm in a timely manner, pushing him to sit back against the bed.
"Give it about five to ten minutes and you should be good as new." she instructed with a smile, leaving the room quietly.
"Sorry I cut myself on the blender and made you drive me to the emergency room and bled all over you and your car." Trevor apologised, as if he was a child being instructed to repent.
"Dude, Trevor, I love you. Okay? You could have melted my truck down and sold it for scraps and I would still love you. So in five to ten minutes we're gonna get out of here, go pick up some McDonald's, and watch TV until our brains rot." Josh insisted. Trevor grinned, settling back to let the foreign blood work its magic.