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If he’s honest, his life really starts when he starts attending Shujin Academy.
He never had much in the way of friends. In elementary, he got along with his classmates, but their parents discouraged any friendship with him. In middle school, people were mostly aloof towards him, seeing him as foreign and something to avoid, but he still talked to people. His life was then interrupted when his parents decided they were going to live in Finland for a year and dragged their son with them abroad.
Although disruptive, he kind of accepted it as a welcome break.
But now he’s back in Japan and his friends are on the other side of the planet.
His first day in high school is daunting, to say the least. It goes as he expects. Because of his supposedly exotic looks, the girls are instantly infatuated with him. The guys are jealous and aloof.
He spends the week surrounded by various flocks of girls, all vying for his attention, no matter how he turns them down. He’s used to the opposite sex paying him special attention, but it has never been to this extent before, and he’s starting to feel a little objectified, if he’s honest.
Then, in the second week, rumours start spreading. Ani is suddenly supposed to be a womanizer, cruelly breaking girls’ hearts and treating them as objects. It somewhat curbs the attention he gets from girls, which he is relieved about, but now there are whispers about him, no matter where he goes. Whispers of his scandalous affairs, of heartless wrong-doings, sneers about his foreign parentage, and mutters of how he should just go back to where he came from.
It feels like the whole school has decided to make him public enemy number one overnight.
After that, the first two months fly by in a blur of loneliness and ever-growing resentment, as people criticize the way he looks when they’re not ogling him, as they mock his foreign background when they’re not trying to milk him for improved English grades and they continuously whisper in ever louder voices, like they’re not even trying to hide from him anymore.
Then in art lessons, a girl looks at his painting, stares him right in the face and tells him it sucks. It’s the first time they have met. It’s the first thing she has said to him. Unlike everyone else, she doesn’t note his exotic looks, doesn’t criticize him for looking foreign, doesn’t try buttering him up, doesn’t frown with disgust. She just sees him and his absolutely awful art skills.
He’s instantly in love with her.
Not romantically. Well. Maybe that first day, but afterwards, it’s platonic. Fraternal. Familial. She’s the friend he has always needed, the one that he has never had. As such, Shiho is infinitely precious to him, and he would set the world on fire to protect her.
Unfortunately, he can’t.
As they spend time together as friends, just the two of them alone, girls start picking up on their close friendship and grow jealous of the attention Takamaki Ani showers Suzui Shiho with.
Rumours spread that Suzui Shiho is easy, that Takamaki uses her when he’s between girls, that she has no self-worth and would sell her soul for love and attention.
It makes Ani’s hands itch for a fight.
But Shiho stops him. She tells him not to mind the rumours or the girls that still flock to him while glaring at her scornfully. She becomes isolated outside of Ani and the volleyball team but she insists she doesn’t mind. Words can’t hurt her, she insists.
He tells her maybe they should stop hanging out. But she tells him their friendship is not something she will ever willingly give up and when she tells him that, Ani doesn’t have any fight left in him, just a warmth in his chest and a feeling that maybe Shiho is stronger than he gave her credit for.
Then Ryuji – of all people – gets in his face about their friendship, telling him to leave Shiho alone. It’s coming to the end of first term and both Ryuji and Shiho are the new rising stars of Shujin Academy. As such, Ryuji has gotten to know Shiho and – although Shiho never says anything – he pieces together that it’s her relationship with Ani that causes Shiho’s ostracization from classmates.
Unfortunately, Ryuji doesn’t realize that they’re friends, that Ani never seeks Shiho out with ill intent, that he would never raise a finger against her, and has actually become a shoulder for her to lean on when things got tough.
Basically, Ryuji completely misreads the situation.
After Ryuji finishes accusing Ani of all sorts of nastiness, Ani flatly tells him he still owes him money from middle school, because that simple fact takes the wind out of Ryuji’s sails. And then Shiho shows up, and the misunderstanding is cleared up – to Ryuji’s great embarrassment. He is profusely apologetic.
In hindsight, Ani is glad for Ryuji’s confrontation. Somehow, despite going to middle school together, the two had been like ships in the night, passing each other by, without ever seeing the other. But now – thanks to some silly misunderstanding – the two of them have become friends. Best friends, even. They’re using each other’s first name within days.
Ani’s routine now consists of having breakfast with Shiho before school, going to his modelling job after school, then hanging out with Ryuji at the gym, or that ramen place he likes, or wherever his friend fancies at the time.
And then he ends his evening, either talking to Shiho or Ryuji or – when he’s lucky – both.
It really feels like his life has finally started and he’s alive. Sure, the school flops between loving and hating him, there are whispers no matter where he goes, his best friend suffers because of her friendship with him, but outside of school, everything is fantastic.
Unfortunately, the volleyball coach of Shujin Academy sets his eyes on Ryuji and Shiho and it all goes to hell.
Kamoshida took a strong disliking to both Ryuji and Ani the day they entered the academy. Ryuji is too loud and brash and blunt and talented. Ani is too foreign and pretty and gets too much attention from the girls of Shujin Academy.
It’s Kamoshida that circulated the rumours about Ani and Shiho. And now he spreads rumours about Ryuji. Instead of Ryuji being the star athlete of Shujin, the student body now only talks about how Ryuji is a no-good hothead that will sooner or later take after his father.
Ryuji goes from being rather calm and chilled, to being on edge and angry most of the time.
Ani and Shiho notice the change in behaviour and refuse to do nothing. They work with Ryuji to get his abrasiveness under control and confront the root of the issue – his father. It takes time and Ryuji rejects any help they offer at first, but eventually he caves in (especially after they got his mother involved) and spills his heart out to them.
They learn of the abuse he and his mother had suffered at the hands of his father, the fear of becoming like his father one day, the fear of letting his mother down, the need to prove himself at school, and how the whispers are eating away at his mental health.
For a while, that’s enough. Ani and Ryuji hit the gym whenever the rumours get too much. It’s a great way for Ryuji to de-stress. He overall stops flying off the handle, barely reacts to the rumours anymore and, because the volleyball team has been doing well in competitions and tournaments, things are quiet and reach a new status quo. It’s almost peaceful.
Then Ryuji beats a decade’s old track record and outshines the volleyball team.
And suddenly, Kamoshida is breathing down their necks again.
Kamoshida almost (almost!) goads Ryuji into attacking him. Thankfully, Ani happens to be watching training that day and intervenes before things can go too far (although Ryuji also has to hold Ani back). They are suspended for threatening a teacher and come back a week later, with permanent marks in their records. It’s bitter, but neither regrets their actions.
When they come back to school, Shiho has done research into maintaining inner balance and helps the two work on tactics to keep their anger in better check. It’s effective until Shiho starts having private practice sessions with Kamoshida. And starts turning up with bruises from practice. As do other first-year members of the volleyball team.
And then Ani realizes that all volleyball team members are bruised and hurt more often than not. But when asked about it, even when asking Shiho about it, there’s only a wall of silence.
There is a great injustice in the school, but no one seems to care. Rumours fly amok, but when something truly evil is happening, no one cares and the victims never speak, silent as graves.
Ani is silently sizzling with rage and helplessness. He’s not even the one suffering, but the injustice and unfairness of it all makes his skin crawl unpleasantly.
Just a few days after this starts, Kamoshida corners Ani in an empty hallway.
“I think your reputation would improve if you made yourself fit in more with the others,” Kamoshida tells him, almost kindly. It’s sickening. “If you looked more Japanese,” he elaborates, as if Ani would not have otherwise understood him.
“I’m not ashamed of who I am,” Ani levelly replies, keeping his head bowed respectfully.
“Well. I’m just trying to look out for you, kid,” Kamoshida boldly claims and almost sounds sincere.
“Thank you for your advice, but I can take care of myself, Kamoshida-sensei,” Ani tells him, then walks his way past the coach, down the hallway. Kamoshida must have waited until Ani is almost out of earshot to say, “Shame about your friend though.”
Ani pauses.
“What?” he lowly demands without turning back.
“Suzui Shiho. I just…” Kamoshida sighs dramatically. “… I was thinking. She might not measure up for the starting position.”
Ani’s blood runs cold.
“She’s the best player on the team. She’s here on a volleyball scholarship,” Ani tells him, trying not to show his anger.
“Well. Maybe if she wasn’t constantly distracted by you, I could see how she earned that scholarship… Ah, what am I saying. If you blended in with the crowd more, maybe you wouldn’t be a distraction to begin with,” Kamoshida replies, sounding rueful.
Ani grits his teeth.
Kamoshida just doesn’t like the attention Ani gets from the female student body. Doesn’t like how he stands out without any effort.
“Just consider it,” Kamoshida insists. “If you’re right, and your friend is talented, then it’d be a real shame if I had to move her out of her starting position.”
Ani stands frozen, hands clenched to fists, back still turned to Kamoshida. He hears Kamoshida walk away, shoes thudding down the hall.
It’s unfair. He has always tried to fit in, but nothing he does allows him to. He always sticks out, no matter where he goes or wanders.
He can’t believe Kamoshida is so petty. Can’t believe he’d use Shiho against him.
Ani’s parents were always so proud of his hair. Over time, he had become proud of it too.
His fists uncurl and he slumps in defeat.
But for Shiho, it’s easy to give up.
~
When Ani goes to school the next day, Ryuji and Shiho are both displeased with his dyed black hair and brown coloured contact lenses.
“It’s not you,” Shiho says.
“Why do you got to hide yourself away?” Ryuji angrily demands.
Ani is silent. He looks down at his red socks. Since the beginning of high school, it’s the only change he’s made to the school uniform. It’s fairly minor and most people don’t notice. Despite the order to normalize, to fit in, he still has his red socks. It’s all that’s left of his will of rebellion.
“Look, just… Be careful around Kamoshida,” Ani says quietly. “He’s… That bastard is craftier than he looks.”
Both are concerned and demand explanations, but Ani is unwilling to talk about what happened. As they continue trying to pry the truth out of Ani, Ani snaps.
“He was trying something that day, when he talked about your dad,” Ani angrily reminds Ryuji.
“You were there to stop it,” Ryuji argues.
“I won’t always be!” he snaps.
“Ani…” Shiho says softly, and Ani regrets the angry outburst, looking away from them. Shiho sighs. “I can’t give up volleyball because of Kamoshida-sensei. I would have to leave Shujin and… I… I just can’t.” The lose you goes unsaid. Ani still doesn’t know why Shiho clings to him the way he does to her, but he’s glad the sentiment is reciprocated. Almost glad enough to feel less guilty that Shiho is apparently sticking this awful situation out because of him.
Ryuji is not as calm as Shiho and after some more heated words, he storms away. After that, Ani can only sulk. Soon, Shiho can’t bear the silence and leaves too. As she leaves, a wind blows and lifts Shiho’s skirt. Perhaps other boys would have been excited to get a peak underneath. But Ani is not distracted by it, used to seeing women in various states of dress from his job. Instead, the only thing he really sees is an ugly bruise forming on Shiho’s upper thigh.
He feels sick.
He and Ryuji are hurting, but no one more than Shiho. Really, the two are just collateral. Witnesses to the abuse and unable to do anything about it at all, just suffer silently alongside her. They can’t even lighten the burden.
It’s just not fair.
~
The next day, Ryuji shows up to school with bleached hair and there’s outrage. It’s patchy and terrible and clearly something he did to himself. When Ani demands to know what the idiot is thinking, Ryuji simply says “Can’t stick out much if you’re not the only one, right?”
Ani wants to simultaneously laugh and punch him. Instead, he takes pity on his friend and has his personal hairstylist fix Ryuji’s hair after school. Despite Ryuji’s gesture, Ani continues to dye his hair. Shiho still has her starting position and Ani doesn’t want to risk calling Kamoshida’s bluff.
Yet nothing gets better. Kamoshida continues to treat the volleyball team poorly and it is getting worse and worse with time.
Kamoshida has unfortunately realized that because of Ryuji’s friendship with Shiho and Ani, he won’t get a decently strong reaction out of star athlete. So, instead, he pressures Ryuji into leaving the track team, using Shiho and Ani as leverage against him. It would be terrible if she were to lose her scholarship, it would be terrible if something unfortunate were to happen to Ani during the upcoming physical exam.
Ryuji doesn’t tell Ani or Shiho why he leaves, instead claiming it’s because he got fed up with dealing with the other guys in the club. Though there is some truth in that, they both know he’s lying.
And once again, Ani is burning with anger. It’s not fair. Ryuji had been talking about getting a scholarship for university through track. Shiho had her eyes on becoming a professional volleyball player, but now seems to be struggling to get through even one training session. Both Shiho and Ryuji have watched their futures go up in flame and Ani got to stand by and watch it unfold before him.
Something in him snaps and Ani fights back in the only way he knows how.
Ani stops dyeing his hair. He gets rid of the coloured contact lenses. He grows his hair out so that the longest strands now reach the base of his neck. The red socks are now matched with red dress shoes and red fingerless gloves. And to top it all off, he dies his white Shujin varsity jacket red, really pushing the limits of what is within acceptable school uniform deviation.
But no one complains, because when standing next to Ryuji, Ani looks practically like a role model student. Ryuji has over the course of his animosity towards Kamoshida developed a complete disregard for the school uniform, growing an increasingly worse reputation in the school, to the point you would think he was a delinquent.
Regardless, when Kamoshida sees Ani in his new get-up, he gets the message. Ani is sure Kamoshida would have done something drastic in response, but it’s a week before the school year ends and there’s nothing he can do about it.
Now it’s the eleventh of April, a week after starting his second year at Shujin. Perhaps because of the new first years, Kamoshida seems more restrained than before, acting out the fantasy of being a caring, if strict, teacher. Ani knows it’s a front. If the first year is anything to go by, it’s going to escalate again. Maybe be worse than previously experienced.
Ani takes in a deep breath.
He, Shiho and Ryuji will figure it out. They survived their first year. What’s two more? And maybe the school year won’t be all dark and gloomy. Maybe there will be occasional bursts of light. Maybe those bright spots will make all the difference.
Then it starts raining and Ani has to revise his opinion. His second year is going to royally suck. He doesn’t even have an umbrella with him, since rain hadn’t been forecast. Just his luck, he will get to either show up to school drenched like a drowned kitten or what some people might charitably call fashionably late.
He takes shelter next to another Shujin academy student, standing under an awning. While pulling down his hood, he silently wishes he could rise up and fight against this hopeless situation he has been left stranded in. But like that’s ever going to happen. Who even cares about kids like him?
It’s all hopeless.