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It was an unassuming evening in the kitchen of Portland Row when Lockwood asked, “Penny for your thoughts, Luce?”
He hadn’t thought she was mulling over anything serious, really. She’d been distant all through tea, brow furrowed as it was wont to do when Lucy was deep in thought. But what all was there to worry about these days? Marissa was defeated, business was booming, and his mother’s necklace sparkled at Lucy’s throat. All was well.
So when Lucy answered, Lockwood could not have been more ill-prepared.
“I think I need to resign from Lockwood & Co.,” she said, still gazing into the middle distance. Lucy blinked a few times, then seemed to realize her own words for the first time, face mortified. But it was too late to reverse the damage.
Lockwood’s cup fell from his hands, shattering as it hit the floor.
“Not again !” George exclaimed, throwing his hands into the air. “No! I am not dealing with this again!”
“Oh, dear,” Holly murmured. “Oh, no. Oh, dear.” She bustled to pick up the pieces of Lockwood’s cup, mopping at the spilt tea.
Kipps turned to Lockwood with a disturbing quickness, eyes wide. “What did you do? ” He half-whispered, half-mouthed. But even if Lockwood had known the answer, he couldn’t have spoken in that moment. All of the blood had drained from his face as his heart beat out of rhythm and his body shook with fear. He’d just come so close to losing Lucy forever and now- now she wanted to- now he had to watch her walk out that door again-
“That’s not…” Lucy buried her face in her hands for a moment, taking a long, deep breath. “That’s not how I meant to say that.”
“How else would you say it?” George snapped. Holly held up a hand to shush him.
“Can we speak in private?” Lucy whispered, leaning in close to Lockwood. He nodded dumbly, but wasn’t sure what good it would do. The last time they’d been in this position, he’d made an ass of himself trying to convince her to stay.
Still, he followed Lucy up to his bedroom, where the sheets were still in disarray from their lie-in that morning. Everything had seemed so blissful just a few hours ago, and now…
“Don’t leave,” Lockwood heard himself plead. “Whatever I’ve done, we can work it out, I can work it out.”
“Lockwood-” Lucy started, but he held up a hand to stop her.
“I know we’ve been busy,” he said. “I know I need to hire another agent or two. We’ve got an advert going out next week, if you can just hang on a little longer.”
“Lockwood-”
“If it’s a matter of us ,” Lockwood said, his throat so raw and sore with unshed tears that it felt as if he’d swallowed a packet of razor blades. “I-I can live with going back to the way things were, before.” He paused. “But I don’t know how to live without you in my life at all, Luce.”
“ LOCKWOOD!” Lucy grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shook him. “I’m not leaving!”
“What?” Lockwood’s aching heart skipped a beat.
“You know the job Barnes offered all of us?” Lucy asked. “To be part of the team that goes over and dismantles those fence things Fittes put up?” She paused and looked down at her feet, grip loosening on his shirt. “I want to do it. I want to say yes.”
“You do?” Lockwood couldn’t help his incredulous tone. He and the others had all refused immediately, determined to never set foot on the Other Side again. It seemed a hellish job, reserved for people who hadn’t done as much for London as their team already had.
“I do.” Lucy’s hands dropped to her sides. “I want to help, Lockwood. I want to make sure those spirits can cross over properly. I want to end The Problem.”
Of course she did. For as much as Lucy struggled to get along with other people, she cared for them deeply. Lockwood’s fears from earlier faded as he took in the sight of her, anxiously awaiting his approval—as if she’d ever wanted or needed anyone’s approval in her life.
“Besides,” Lucy added quickly, before Lockwood could respond. “I know the agency’s booming now, but the future of psychical work is so uncertain. It would be good for us to have another income source, wouldn’t it?”
Lockwood knew he was gaping like a dead fish, but he couldn’t help it. All it took was a single word to render him speechless.
“Us?” Was all he could ask.
“Well, yeah.” Lucy frowned up at him. Her eyes widened again and she added, “Obviously, I’ll pay rent, since you won’t be able to take it out of my pay. And we can work out something for groceries and utilities and-”
He didn’t give Lucy a chance to finish her thought. Lockwood captured her mouth with his, drowning out the rest of her worries. Lucy melted against him, arms snaking around his neck. She wasn’t leaving.
She wasn’t leaving him .
Lockwood broke away first. “Don’t scare me like that,” he whispered. “I nearly had a heart attack.”
“Are you angry?” Lucy asked, worrying at her bottom lip. Lockwood tightened his grip on her waist and laughed.
“That you want to leave the company to go save some pitiful ghosts and make the world a better place?” He asked, bumping their noses together. “No, Luce. Never.”
She smiled at him, relieved and elated, and how could Lockwood ever be cross with her when she looked at him like that?
“Besides,” he continued, hands traveling a little further south. “Now you won’t be my employee, which means George and Kipps can stop whinging about favoritism.”
“I can still help out on cases,” Lucy said, her grin turning wicked. “In case you need to remind them every now and then.” She rose on her tiptoes to press another kiss to Lockwood’s lips.
“ Eugh,” came a voice from the door. Lucy and Lockwood turned in tandem to see George standing there, arms crossed.
“See, I told you it would be fine,” Holly told him, standing a little further down the hall. Kipps was even further away, intensely examining his fingernails. All three had clearly been eavesdropping, though Lockwood supposed that was his own fault for not shutting the door.
“ Fine? ” George scoffed. “She’s actually leaving us for money this time, Hol. How is that fine?”
“Money’s a good thing, Cubbins,” Kipps said.
“At least if she moved out, they could go be gross in a different location,” George continued. “You don’t live here, Kipps, you don’t know how horrible it is.”
“ You could move out,” Lucy told George, still pressed up against Lockwood. She rested her head against his chest and pouted. “Go live on Mathilda with Flo.”
George sighed heavily. “Losing our best agent and getting kicked out of my own home. Fantastic day.”
“No one’s kicking you out, George,” Lockwood said with a laugh.
“ I always knew someone better would snatch Carlyle up,” Kipps said, his tone bored. “Dunno why anyone’s surprised.”
At least three different voices told him to shut up. Lucy smiled softly up at Lockwood as George and Kipps bickered. “Thank you,” she said.
“For what?”
Lucy shrugged. “For understanding. For knowing why I need to do this.”
Truthfully, Lockwood didn’t understand. Lucy had done more for the world than any DEPRAC goon could ever dream to accomplish in a lifetime. But he knew that Lucy wouldn’t rest until things were set right, and that she would march ahead whether or not he approved.
In the end, all Lockwood could do was march alongside her, for better or for worse. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.