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Today had not really been Sebastian’s day.
His plan was to meet Sam and Abigail in the afternoon, so obviously this meant he would sleep for as long as humanly possible, at the very least until 11am, but this plan was immediately foiled by a comical amount of customers deciding today is the perfect day to buy every piece of lumber they could ever dream of, talking at volumes which felt the equivalent of standing behind a plane engine. So he spent his morning moping in bed, his only comfort being the thought that eventually he was going to see his friends, only for the time to finally come and for Abigail to bail last minute to help her dad run his shop. Luckily, Sam was still around, and Sam was pretty much willing to go along with anything Seb wanted to do. Which honestly, right now, was just to go out for a smoke.
“It’s a shame you actually look pretty cool doing that, ‘cause your lungs are definitely screaming at you, dude.”
Embarrassingly, Sebastian is totally one of those guys who started smoking purely to look cool and mysterious, so it’s great to know it’s still working its charm. Unfortunately, at this point, it is significantly less to do with looking cool and significantly more to do with a nicotine addiction.
“Don’t encourage me, man.”
The weather was appropriately grim today, matching the angsty vibe Seb was constantly striving for, but sadly it wasn’t particularly handy whilst trying to smoke. The rain had killed his lighter a frustrating amount of times, so they were currently sheltered under the entrance for the mines, praying no passerbys came along and ruined their perfectly cinematic hangout.
Sam was clearly not feeling it though. He had been pacing around the cave for the past five minutes at least, bored out of his mind.
“Christ, Sam. You know the whole point of smoking is usually to calm down, right? It’s stressful just watching you.”
“It’s not my fault it’s kind of agonizingly boring here, man.” Sam said, going out his way to stop pacing and glare directly at Seb. Hopefully as a joke.
Seb, honestly, didn’t really know what he could do to help. There wasn’t much in here other than rocks, the two of them and second hand smoke, so unless his plan was to stone Sebastian to death, he couldn’t think of anything that entertaining.
“I mean, I just came in here to smoke. Do you like, wanna try one? That’s pretty much all I’ve got in terms of ideas.”
Sebastian had honestly never felt this conflicted. On one hand, he would lose a precious cigarette. On the other hand, surely it’d be worth it to see Sam cough and splutter. Totally no other reasons. Just for the embarrassment.
“We literally smoke weed together, man. It’s not that crazy. Besides, I definitely don’t want a whole cigarette. I’ll start freaking out. Heart palpitations.” Sam said as he continued to pace.
Quite honestly, this was great news. He got to keep his amazing, precious, way too expensive cigarettes to himself. He truly astounded himself sometimes with his entrepreneurial spirit. It did suck a little bit though, he was curious about seeing Sam smoke. When they smoke weed together, Seb never really has enough brain power to focus on anything other than their video games and basic functioning. He also did just feel a little bad dragging Sam along into a, honestly pretty gross, damp cave only for him to pace around the entire time.
Suddenly, an idea hit him. A stupid idea. A stupid idea that he should definitely keep to himself.
“Do you know about shotgunning?”
What the fuck. Is he actually possessed? Why would he say that? Best case scenario, Sam has no idea what he’s talking about and he can backpedal his way out of this. Worst case scenario, Sam is about to find out every not very platonic thought he’s ever conjured up about him.
“I mean, yeah, vaguely.”
Fuck.
“Cool, cool. Do you like, want to give it a go? It’s probably less nicotine second hand, so surely your heart shouldn’t freak out as bad. Plus, at least if you have a panic attack it’ll be something to do.”
Sometimes he even astounded himself with his flawless reasoning.
Sam looked towards the cigarette, then towards Seb, then back down to the cigarette, as if this was a decision that would impact his entire life, not just his lungs. It would also have a terrible impact on Sebastian’s heart, but no one needed to know about that, unless he felt like permanently tainting his cool guy image.
“You know what, sure. Show me your ways.”
Sam approached Seb, possibly avoiding eye contact as he did so. Maybe Seb was just looking into it too much.
Seb proposed this idea with a lot of confidence for someone who had no idea what he was doing. He could probably figure it out though. Surely.
“Alright, just like, lean in. I’ll do the rest.”
Said like someone who totally knows what they’re doing. Seb prayed his fake confidence was convincing. He also prayed his voice didn’t shake nearly as much as his hands.
Sam followed his command with no hesitation, closing his eyes as he leant forward. Jesus Christ. May the lord have mercy on his soul.
The first step was the easy part, just inhaling smoke like he’s done a million times before. It was even easier without Sam’s eyes on him. The second part was what he was worried about. He was totally cool though. He’s always been so super cool and casual and collected and he can totally do this in the most casual and cool way anyone has ever seen.
Copying Sam’s example, he leant forward. Close enough to feel the lightest brush of his lips against his own. He moved his thumb upwards to just barely open Sam’s mouth, then opened his own and exhaled a cloud of smoke into his lungs.
As he pulled away, he prayed he could brush off his flushed cheeks as just being because of holding his breath, or something like that. He couldn’t risk losing his cool persona, which Sam totally cares about.
“Wow, that… Sucked. That actually sucked.”
Seb prayed the disappointment wasn’t visible on his face.
“I mean, not because of you or anything, just like, wow. That tasted like soot. Soot and shame.”
“I suppose it’s usually done with weed, I don’t think you really gained anything from that, other than the honor of getting right up in my business. Consider yourself blessed, very few ever get the chance.”
He was so cool. He was so good at playing it cool. He was going to win at being so totally cool and playing it the coolest of all time.
For the first time in a solid while, Sebastian got the nerve to look at Sam directly. His cheeks were matching Seb’s in shades of reds and pinks, pupils weirdly blown to shit. Totally just from holding his breath.
“For sure, man. Never felt more honored in my life.”
It almost felt like there was tension in the air, which wouldn’t really make sense. This was a casual thing between two best friends. This is totally a thing that people do. There’s no way in hell Sam could tell Seb felt anything other than totally platonic things for him.
“Was it at least better than smoking one straight? No heart palpitations?”
That would make one of them. He could practically see his own heart pulsating out of his chest.
“I wouldn’t go that far.”
Whatever the hell that means.
“Damn, no way it sucked that bad. I feel like you’re lying, can’t be that bad.”
He could feel his cigarette burning up towards his fingers, but his main focus was trying to get this conversation back on track. It felt so weirdly stilted. No way did Sam figure him out. Surely not. It wasn’t even that weird. This is totally a normal thing that normal people do.
“Hey, guess I’ll never know unless we try again. If you’re still down, that is.”
He must actually be hallucinating. There’s no way Sam actually sounded nervous saying that. He must finally be losing it.
“I’ve got bad news, this cigarette has a solid one puff at the most before it’s gone.” Seb said before taking a comically short inhale to prove his point, dropping it on the floor and crushing it under his shoe. No more cigarette. Why the hell did he do that.
They stood around for a few seconds, just looking at the crushed mess on the floor. A lovely pile of tobacco and dirt mixed on the wet floor. Delicious.
“I mean, we could always like, do it without a cigarette. I guess.”
What the hell.
“Sam. I don’t think you understand what shotgunning is, dude.”
“Do I no longer have permission to, in your own words, get right up in your business?”
What the actual hell.
The confidence Sam was trying to show was so obviously fake. Seb could recognise it from a mile away. He wondered if this is how he looked.
His silence must’ve been taken as disgust instead of utter confusion, as Sam started to let the cool, collected and casual persona crack.
“Sorry, that was weird, I don’t know what I meant either. I think I was possessed, I’m so sorry, man.” Sam stuttered as he started to step backwards, towards the mouth of the cave, towards the torrential rain.
“Wait.”
It was time for Sebastian to show his true mastery of the cool persona. Time to show Sam how it’s really done.
Dear Lord, let him not be misreading this.
He took one, two, three steps towards Sam. Chest to chest. Slightly disgusting smelling breath mingling with slightly less disgusting breath. This probably would’ve been a lot smoother if he brought some mints or something.
“Please stop me if this isn’t what you meant.” Seb spoke into his lips, before once again leaning forward and letting their lips do more than just brush.
He was kissing Sam.
He didn’t think he could play this off as normal anymore.
For something so tame, his heart felt like it was going to explode at any second. He didn’t really care about Sam thinking he was cool anymore. As if he ever thought he was. He hoped Sam could feel how much this was impacting him. He hoped he could feel his heart reverberating against his ribcage. He hoped he could see how totally uncool he was being.
After a solid while, he pulled away and opened his eyes, watching as Sam did the same, before he looked towards his lips with lidded eyes and yet again leant into his space. Jesus.
Today had somehow become Sebastian’s day.