Work Text:
Hugo was relaxing in the living room on a sunny afternoon in the home that he shares with his life partner. He was on one of cushions on the couch, and reading a book by one of his favorite authors that was just released not too long ago. As he turned a page in the book, he heard footsteps coming towards. Hugo turned his head to see that it was Shuuichi that was entering the living room. His bangs were covering his eyes but the way he was walking, Shuuichi did not look like he was doing well. This caused Hugo to become concerned and even a bit worried.
He suddenly stopped near where Hugo was sitting. Hugo focused more on his husband as they were now closer.
“Love, are you alright?”
Shuuichi suddenly moved his bangs away from his eyes. Hugo was shocked. Shuuchi’s eyes looked a bit on the puffier side. And Shuuichi felt like that he could not get a word out of his mouth at that exact moment.
“Dear, have..have you been crying?”
Shuuichi could not deny it. Nor did he want to do that. He gave a couple of nods before breaking down into tears in front of him. The book fell onto the floor as Hugo quickly got up and stood by him. Hugo cupped both of Shuuichi’s cheeks in his hands, letting the tears stream down them.
“Oh sweetheart, did something scare you? Is something..worrying you?”
Shuuichi focused his eyes on Hugo as he kept crying.
“Kind of both. But..it is also much more than that, too. It..it is hard to explain.”
Hugo got an idea.
“Would you like to talk about it with me?”
Shuuichi was not sure if he should do that.
“I do not want to burden you with this. You have done so much for me already when it comes to this. I do not want to make you feel like you have to if you do not want to.”
“You are not a burden, darling and I do not mind it at all. I want you to talk to me if you truly need to or just even want to. I am always here to listen if you need to talk or just want to talk. I am all yours if you want to do this.”
With that, Shuuichi decided that he did want to talk about it with him. He felt like it was needed right now.
"I would like to talk to you about this."
"Of course."
Hugo let go of Shuuichi’s cheeks as he then guided his lover over to the couch and the two of them sat down on it together.
“Now, go ahead and tell me what has been bothering and/or scaring you, hun.”
Shuuichi looked at him again and took a couple of seconds before he began to speak to him.
“You know that I love you with all of my heart and I want to be with you, right?"
"I do, yes. And I feel the same way about you, too."
Shuuchi felt like he needed to keep doing this. Not just for himself but to ease Hugo's worries.
It is just that I do not mean to compare you to my ex when it comes to certain things but it is only because I am not used to those things at the moment. I am not obsessed with him in any way but he did me so bad that it is like he is imprinted heavily into my brain. I have no feelings for him except for a whole lot of anger and disgust for what he did to me.”
Hugo understood where his husband was coming from and what he was speaking about.
“I know you love me, dear. I truly know you do. And I love you with all of my heart as well. I also do understand that what he did to you has messed with you and it is going to take time to break out of that.”
Shuuichi took a breath before he spoke again.
“I just wish that I would stop doing that but for some reason..I cannot. I also wished none of what happened actually did happen but there is nothing I can do to go back and change it. It was seriously that bad, Hugo. I just wish it was so simple to forget about it but it is not.”
Shuuichi suddenly looked away and down at the ground.
“Maybe..maybe I need help. Like serious help. I have tried everything and I feel like what I am doing is not working on my own.”
“Do you want to see a therapist? I mean, you do not have to but it is an opinion if you feel like it could help.”
Shuuchi nodded in response. He felt like that was what he was needing to get help him get through his issues and trauma. at this point, Shuuichi was desperate to want to be able to feel like he did not have to keep comparing things that Hugo does to Yuuki. It was exhausting Shuuichi.
“I do feel like that is a good idea but I am also hesitant but seeing one may make you think I am crazy and such but I am not. I am just not sure what else I could do on my own and I do not want to keep doing this to you because of my own insecurities. It is hurting me so much.”
Hugo felt so bad for Shuuichi.
“Love, if you want to go see one then I will help you find one. Nor do I think you are crazy for wanting to do this. I will support you in anything you need. Especially when it comes to your health. Physically and mentally. I also will always have your back, no matter what.”
This time, Shuuichi looked back up at him.
“Really? You do?”
Hugo suddenly held one of Shuuichi’s hands in his.
“Really, I do. I know you are a truly incredible person and I do not like seeing you hurt like this because seeing you hurt makes me also feel hurt, too. I also think this would benefit you to see one and I will make sure this happens because I also care about you so much.”
Shuuichi held Hugo’s hand back a little bit tighter in his.
“That means a lot to me, hun. Thank you so much. And you are incredible as well. I think it would help me a lot as well. I am so glad that I met you.”
Hugo gave the love of his life a sweet smile.
“You are welcome and I am so glad that I met you, too. I think it will help you as well. I know you are not doing these things on purpose. And trust me, I went through horrible things with my ex as well. You are not alone in this nor ever will be alone in this. I also know that it is not going to fully go away and it is okay if it still happens from time to time. I never have been annoyed or anything when you do this anyway. Yet, I am glad that you want to try to make yourself feel better.”
Shuuichi smiled back.
“I fully understand and I appreciate that. It may not fully go away but I just need to figure out if there is anything that I can actually do for this. I know I have PTSD and depression but..maybe there is something that I can do to help me with dealing with those.”
“And I fully agree. It does not hurt to seek help from a professional nor should you ever feel ashamed of it. I will also take you to your appointments if you would like me to.”
Shuuichi did not think of that as a bad idea.
“I actually would really like that.”
Hugo leaned over and gave a gentle kiss on one of Shuuichi’s cheeks.
“I will do that then. I really support this and you. I love you so much.”
Shuuichi felt so happy right now.
“I love you so much, too.”
Shuuichi then gave his love a gentle kiss on the cheeks as well.
“I am so sorry if I scared you when I came in, by the way. I didn't mean to.”
“It is alright, love. I understand. And I am glad you came to me about this. You are always welcomed to do that at any time. Even if you just want to see me or talk, that is fine, too. I just want you to know that you are safe and very well loved by me, my dear. Always will be.”
That gave Shuuichi a bit of comfort to hear that.
“Same here with me as well.”
“I will remember that.”
Shuuichi and Hugo just sat on the couch together as Shuuichi started to feel a little better about the situation. Hugo will go back to his book sooner or later but for now, he just wanted to spend some much needed time with his partner. The love of his life. And he is truly willing to go to therapy to help him with the issues, pain and problems that his ex has really caused him. And with Hugo by his side, everything seems like it is truly going to be okay.
By taking one step at a time.
The End