Chapter Text
Ed wasn’t an arsonist, but at this point he wasn’t not an arsonist either, actually.
Well—
It started when there was a fire at his neighbor’s apartment two months ago, so it would be better to start there.
It was honestly so bad the whole building had to evacuate, the smoke thick in the halls as they wandered out to the parking lot. Thankfully, no damage was done to his apartment, but there was, however, permanent damage done to his mental wellbeing.
Ed was in the middle of a dead sleep at midnight when it happened, arms folded grumpily in front of himself in the parking lot and leaning against his car, cursing himself for not grabbing his car keys instead of his spare house key in his sleepy stupor. The winking Hello Kitty keychain mocking him as most of the other people in the building were huddled in their cars in the chilled early-spring night air. The only comfort and warmth available was his little kitten sleeping soundly against his chest despite all the noise and cold air.
Ed watched the fire truck pull into the lot with tired eyes, scratching at the back of his head, making his bed-head even worse from where it was already falling out of the bun on the top of his head. When the firemen started climbing out of the truck and into the building, setting up ladders and doing whatever the fuck else they had to do, Ed was making absolutely sure Jeff, the kitten, stayed in his arms as more and more commotion happened.
When he heard boots approaching on the pavement towards his hysterical neighbor a few feet away, he barely paid any mind. Ed only looked up when a twinkling, kind voice cut through the haze of sleeplessness.
“Hello there, I’ll be your firefighter here today, or at least, one of many. Any chance you’re the poor soul whose apartment had the big scare tonight? You seem a little shook up.”
Ed looked over and, in hindsight, he’s pretty sure this is precisely when he lost his mind. It was like a vacuum sealed pop went off in the back of his head, his eyes widening as he let them linger on the man’s broad chest. The man had curly blonde cherubic hair, pecs you could bounce a quarter off of, and strong looking forearms gripping a notepad and a pen as he took down details about how the fire started. Ed was starting to feel like his eyes were actually morphing into heart-shapes like a balloon-headed cartoon character. Fuck, this guy’s pretty.
The woman seemed to calm down the more they spoke, practically docile by the time the police got there and started questioning her as well. Ed was practically drooling, half tempted to run into the possibly burning building and freshen up and change his clothes. He was standing in front of one of the hottest men he’d seen in real life in just his bed-head, ratty faded band shirt with the holes at the hems, and thin plaid snoopy-themed pajamas. In his bunny slippers. Holding a cat like some insane person who could have easily just grabbed his cat carrier or a blanket to hold him in.
The man glanced over at him, then did a double take, causing Ed’s heart to jump wildly in his chest. Oh my god, he’s looking at me. Jesus shitfuck. The man turned on a heel and hurriedly climbed into his truck and Ed deflated slightly, hiking Jeff a little higher up in his arms for warmth. Honestly, Ed would run, too, if he saw himself right now.
Ed stood around for a few more minutes, letting the time pass by just stroking a finger over Jeff’s little forehead, before hearing hurried footsteps coming towards him again. The blonde-haired pretty man was rushing back to him with a bundle in his hands.
“Hello, there!” He sounded a little out of breath and smelled like a campfire, but Ed was entranced once again just with his proximity.
“Hi,” Ed couldn’t fight the smile creeping onto his face despite the goosebumps on his arms.
The man held out the clump of fabric, “Here, it’s cold out here and we may be a bit before the building is cleared for you to go back in—Oh! Who do we have here?”
Ed looked down to where the man was gesturing to, and then grinned, “Right, ah, this is Jeff. Didn’t wanna leave him if the building was about to burn down — sort of wish I’d had that thought about my car keys as well, though.” Ed’s point made by the shiver that wracked through him at the next burst of cold wind only made the man step a little closer.
“Here, I can hold him while you get this on,” The man held out his arms, his fingers brushing over Ed’s arms as he went to hold onto the cat.
“He’s a bit wiggly, mate, don’t let him out of your hands,” Ed warned, loosening his grip slightly to gently hold Jeff out.
“What? Afraid he’ll run up a tree?” The man’s lips quirked into a charming little smirk, “I think I can handle it.”
Ed felt his heart practically jump out of his chest at the easy way the man plucked Jeff out of his arms with the most stupidly-charming little joke. Ed was obsessed with him. He almost didn’t notice what the man was trying to hand him while he was metaphorically breaking every bone falling full force for this man in the span of five seconds.
Ed took the bundle and ripped his eyes off of the man happily curling Jeff to his chest to see a hoodie in his hands. It was soft, like it had been well-worn in and washed lovingly over a long time. There was a honey and smoke smell that clung to it that he could already tell was exactly the same one wafting from the beautiful man in front of him. He unfolded it to look at it and saw the fire department’s logo on the front of it.
Ed glanced up at the man and fought the urge to swoon, his knees wobbly at the sight of a tiny kitten curling into this man’s neck. Ed had never actually thought he was capable of being jealous of a cat before, but you learn something new every day.
“Oh, um, thanks, man.” Ed mumbled, and quickly pulled the hoodie on. It was warm, and instantly made Ed sigh with relief. “Fuck, that’s so much better. Saved my life, really.” Ed fought the absolutely insane urge to shove his nose into the collar of it with a deep inhale right in front of this man.
The man’s entire face lit up— oh, wow, holy fuck, he can’t keep getting away with looking like that, christ —and offered the wiggling Jeff back to Ed. “All part of the job! Here’s your, ah, Jeff back. We’ll try to get you all back inside as soon as we can,” The man glanced over his shoulder to the building, “Looks like the fire was put out, so it shouldn’t be much longer than an hour before we can hopefully bring everyone back inside.”
Ed took Jeff back and held him close to his chest again, “Yeah, yeah, sounds good. Um, thank you for your, uh, service. To our community. And making sure the building didn’t burn down.” What the fuck was he saying?
The man grinned, “It’s my pleasure! I have to go back and check in with the team, but I’m glad you made it out alright. Stay warm, and we’ll be back around to let you inside soon enough.” The man gave Ed a little wave before wandering back to the rest of the firefighters.
Ed watched the man for a while before he disappeared from view into the building, a dopey little grin on his face the entire time. Once he was out of view, he frowned. “Thank you for your service? The fuck was that about?” he muttered to himself and pulled the hood on the hoodie back up, moving his arm up so Jeff could climb into the hood to snuggle in.
“That was the least smooth I think I’ve ever seen anyone be, actually.”
Ed jumped, nearly jostling Jeff right out of the crook of his neck to see his other neighbor from down the hall, Lucius, staring at him with a brow raised. “Did you think that went well? Just curious.”
Ed fixed him with a long glare, thankful for the dark sky so Lucius couldn’t see him blush. “Fuck off, Lucius. Dunno what the fuck you’re talking about.”
“You know, you’re actually quite cool looking most of the time,” Lucius smirked. “It’s sort of fun to see you’re just some dorky awkward loser with a crush just like the rest of us.”
Ed just flipped him off and stalked off to the other side of the parking lot, definitely not pouting, and waiting to get back inside so Lucius could stop smirking to himself.
It took about an hour and a half before people started getting cleared to go inside, Ed eavesdropping on his crying neighbor that there was only some damage to her appliances and such, but nothing to the ceiling, floors or walls. Ed started shuffling back to the apartment building, but he—shamelessly—was glancing around every now and then to try and spot a golden head of hair on his way back in.
Entirely innocent! Maybe! He had to give the man his hoodie back, obviously. Even if it did smell like bonfires and marshmallows and Ed wanted to burrow in it and fall asleep—he’d have to give it back eventually, right?
Ed let himself get to the back of the group, holding the door patiently for people to go in before him despite his cold toes and tired eyes. He saw a glimpse of maybe blonde hair under a helmet climbing onto the truck. Huh. Maybe the man didn’t want his sweatshirt back? Maybe it wasn’t even his, maybe it was just some extra hoodie they kept just in case.
“Looking for someone?”
Ed jumped so hard he released the door, finding everyone who was going inside was long gone, clearly he had been holding the door for absolutely nobody for a good amount of time before even realizing. Ed looked over to who was interrupting his staring only to find the man he’d been looking for standing in front of him.
“Oh. Um, hey.” Ed said, feeling like his brain was slowly lagging trying to catch up with the image of the man in front of him again, this time a little smudge of ash on his cheek. “You’ve got a little…”
The man frowned and raised his hand to his cheek where Ed was pointing, then his eyebrows raised. “Oh! Right, oh, gosh, how embarrassing,” the man quickly wiped at the ash on his face, only ending up wiping it all over and leaving a grayish smudge all over his face. It was horrifically adorable, and Ed found himself smiling and near-swooning like a lovesick teenager. “Did I get it all?”
Ed nodded, “Mhm.” He didn’t need to know. “I, um, I just wanted to say thanks for the sweatshirt. I’m, uh, sure you want it back.”
The man grinned, “I’d hate to leave you cold for your trek upstairs. Don’t worry about it, I have a couple of those at home. If anything, I’m sorry it’s my most worn—I’m sure it smells like a bonfire.”
Something tugged at his chest, fighting the overwhelming urge to displace Jeff sleeping in the back of the hood between it and his neck and bury his nose in it to inhale the so-called bonfire smell. “It’s okay. I like it. You give all your rescuees your clothes, Mr. …” Ed trailed off, raising an eyebrow to prompt the man for his name.
“Bonnet. Um, Stede Bonnet.” Stede shuffled a boot in front of himself, fidgeting a bit. “And I wouldn’t give me as much credit as saying I’ve rescued you from anything. The fire alarms did their job of getting everyone out safely.”
“Well, how would we know it was safe if you guys didn’t come to inspect it?” Ed countered, and stuck out his hand. “I’m Ed, by the way. Edward Teach, in case you ever change your mind about letting me hold onto this cozy hoodie of yours.”
Stede shook his hand with a smile, and in the dark he could almost make out a faint blush on Stede’s face. “Pleasure to meet you. I have to go back and debrief with my team. You still have Jeff with you, right? Wanted to make sure we didn’t have to rescue him out of a tree or anything before we left.”
Ed pulled back the hood a little to reveal Jeff sleeping peacefully on his shoulder, “Got him right here. He’s pretty happy with the bonfire smell, too, apparently.”
Stede gave a fond look to Jeff before taking a small step backwards. “Well, it’s been a pleasure. Hopefully you won’t have to deal with us again, barring any more fires in your building, but obviously we don’t hope for that. Perhaps I’ll see you around town, Edward. Have a good night!”
Stede gave a little wave and jovially walked back over to the fire truck and climbed inside. Once he was inside the truck, it started moving, like they were all only waiting for Stede to get on before leaving. Ed watched the truck back out of their parking lot for a moment before going inside, trekking up the stairs and into his apartment.
Ed scooped Jeff out of his hood and placed him gently onto his cat tree, scratching his little head before Jeff settled into his bed.
Ed finally let himself pull the neck of the hoodie over his nose and deeply inhale as soon as he was laid on his bed, sighing into it as the smell of bonfires, vanilla and flowers filled his nostrils. God. Stede was so goddamn cute. And hot as sin, from what Ed could see under all his firefighter gear.
Maybe there was a calendar somewhere Stede posed for he could get, just to be able to look at his pretty face all day. Was it normal to have such a crush on someone you only barely met? Was it sane to be horrifically charmed by someone you barely spoke to?
Ed kicked off his slippers now coated with dirt from outside, and fought the urge to look up Stede Bonnet on all social media for a good fifteen minutes before giving up and looking through the internet to find him. He had a pretty locked down Facebook page, only his profile picture and profession able to see without being friends, but Ed stared for a pretty decent amount of time. Honestly, he’s not sure he’d be able to handle any more photos than the one.
After looking up the town’s fire station just on google, he only got one more blurry picture of Stede in a group photo for the station, the whole group in one official-looking photo for the new year. Ed followed the facebook page for the fire department in a moment of 3am-induced insanity, the lame excuse he gave himself was that it was normal to follow the fire department after they all worked tirelessly for his apartment building… or whatever.
Or maybe he did it so that Stede could find him and friend him first. Ed could picture it now, Stede sending a friend request, Ed holding off for at least an hour before accepting the request, and Stede messaging him some kind of flirty message about getting his hoodie back.
Ed went to sleep with a smile on his face and his phone within reach. Just in case.
The next week was a an exercise in nostalgia for Ed, the feeling of having a high-school-esque crush on a man he spoke to twice in his pajamas in a cold parking lot was overtaking him and giving him the overwhelming urge to write ‘Edward Teach-Bonnet’ in glitter pens all over the margins of every paper in his apartment.
Friending him on facebook wasn’t an option, he didn’t want to ruin his chances by being some kind of freak stalker who scared Stede off. Just turning up to the fire station to give the hoodie back wasn’t the best option either—it meant he’d have to give the hoodie back .
The idea was something teasingly floated to him at work by Izzy.
“Oh, shut the fuck up about this guy. Next thing we know you’re gonna burn your apartment building down to get this guy’s attention, Ed, jesus.”
Ed had stopped polishing a glass to stare across the bar at Izzy, reorganizing the back bar storage and not really paying him any mind. Hm. Setting a fire to get Stede’s attention. Maybe a bit extreme, but the idea wasn’t terrible. Not really, not if it was harmless.
The idea floated all the way to the end of the month when Jeff was at the vet for the day getting his balls chopped off and a little checkup while he was there and Ed had the day off. Perfect.
Ed carefully finger-coiled his curls all morning after his shower, put a little eyeliner in the corners of his eyes, his outfit meticulously picked out to try and look a little cooler than he did the night they met. The only hole in his plan was that if Stede wasn’t working, he was doing a whole lot for only a little.
Ed grabbed his lighter from the junk drawer in the kitchen and checked himself one more time in the full length mirror. Ed had kept his hair down, one braid on the side to keep some of it out of his eyes, a tight cream-colored crop tank top with a large brown sketch design of a teddy bear on the front, his cropped leather jacket with the sleeve ripped off and his most flattering pair of ripped black jeans that always made his ass look good.
The final piece of the puzzle was strapping on his black boots with a bedazzled hello kitty on the sides and grinning at himself in the mirror. A little midriff showing, a little bicep action, hair all neat instead of the insane up-do Stede had met him with. All perfect.
Ed smiled and lit the lighter in front of himself before raising his arm over his head, stepping onto a chair he pulled from the kitchen table and held it an inch away from the fire alarm and waited.
It took a few seconds before the alarm started going off. Ed kept it there for another few seconds for good measure before he started hearing other alarms going off down the hall.
Beaming, Ed hopped off the chair and scooted it back into the table. He checked his eyeliner one more time before grabbing his big set of keys and wandering along with a couple other people out to the parking lot. Less people were out than usual, which made enough sense—people out of house, it’s daylight hours, they could have work, whatever—and it only took a handful of minutes before a fire truck was rolling into the lot. A couple people got out, looking things over and checking the front panel that would tell them where the alarm started.
After a few people went inside, two more firemen got out and started talking to people. Everyone was confused and irritated-looking. Nobody looked particularly worried, probably because nothing smelled like smoke and it was clear nothing was wrong.
Ed was watching the firemen like a hawk, trying to spot anyone that looked like Stede. The ones in the lot talking to people were clearly not Stede—not the right broad, sexy shoulders, no blonde hair in sight. He tried to tell himself the pout on his lips wasn’t silly, and the slightly guilty feeling in his stomach for wasting the fire department’s time was starting to make him itchy.
Until—
A man coming out of the building pulled off his helmet to reveal fluffy gold curls.
Stede.
Fuck the guilt, this was the best idea he’d ever had. Stede was looking on a little piece of paper, then looking around the crowd. Ed tried not to put his hopes into the small seemingly only-polite smile Stede gave him as they caught eyes. Stede started walking directly to him and Ed grinned as he got closer.
“Oh, hey Stede. Fancy meeting you here.” Ed flipped some of his hair over his shoulder, barely suppressing a swooning sigh as Stede got within arms-reach. This was his chance. He can totally ask Stede out this time, no sleep deprivation keeping him from it.
“Hello, Ed! Sorry you have to see me again so soon,” Stede laughed a little, his fingers fiddling with his pen and little notepad as he leaned into his hip. “You’ll be sick of us soon at this rate.”
“You? Never.” Ed waved a hand flippantly.
Ed could have sworn he saw a faint blush on Stede’s cheeks, but it might’ve just been the sun beating down on him. “You flatter me,” Stede ducked his chin to his chest with a little shuffle of his boots. “I, um, I just wanted to tell you, the alarm started from your apartment, actually. Were you cooking or anything before the alarms went off? Smoking cigarettes, even?”
The flip back to friendly professionalism wasn’t going to deter him now.
“Mm, nah. I quit a few years ago, and I never smoked inside anyway. Not cooking, either.” Ed hummed, letting his gaze wander down Stede’s body to his boots and all the way back to his eyes. “Must be warm in all that, huh?”
Stede glanced down at himself then back up at Ed quickly, that flush on his cheeks getting a little darker. “Oh, this old thing. It’s a bit warm, but it’s all necessary to keep me as safe as I can be if there were a big fire. Bit hot to stand around in, obviously, but I’ll take it off soon.”
Ed bit his lower lip with a wide smile, “Oh, yeah? Stripping down for a firefighter’s calendar soon?”
Stede’s fingers twisted the pen around with a little laugh. “Very funny, Edward. First of all, the calendar shoot was months ago,” Edward was going to have to look much harder to find this calendar, jesus fuck. “Secondly, with how hot it is outside today, I’m sure it would be less of a strip show and more of a sweaty struggle between me and all of this fabric.”
Ed fought the urge to start drooling or pawing at Stede’s jacket at the mental image of Stede even embarrassingly trying to untangle himself from the sleeves of his jacket. Honestly, Ed was decently sure he’d swoon over Stede even unzipping his jacket halfway.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Ed breathed, trying to be any semblance of normal about any of this.
Stede glanced up from his notepad with a sly grin. “Flatterer. You’re very distracting, you know.” Stede scratched something into his notepad quickly as he spoke, and for a second Ed had a creeping hope that maybe Stede was writing down his number, but he only flipped it closed and stuck it into his back pocket. “Well, it looks like your alarm was faulty, then. Sorry everyone had to come out here for a silly little wire or something along those lines. Just replace your fire alarm and it won’t happen again.”
Ed licked his lips, “Ah, right. Um, will do. I’ll get right on that, sir.”
Stede hesitated a moment, his eyes drooping only a second to the hollow of Ed’s throat, grazing over his shoulders before his gaze snapped back up, and a mask of professionalism came over him. “Good. Have a lovely rest of your day, and it was nice to see you again.”
Stede gave him a polite smile, something lingering in his eyes before turning and wandering back to the firetruck. One of the other firefighters clapped him on the shoulder and glanced back at Ed with a half-smirk before climbing on after Stede.
Ed stood there starstruck for a few minutes before he brought his palm to his forehead to fast it made an audible smacking sound. “ Fuck me.” he groaned, “I didn’t even ask him for his number, jesus fuck.”
Back to the drawing board.