Chapter Text
A gentle knock on the door of Eloise' bedchambers. It is only of a late Thursday evening and she is reading in the window seat of her room, taking in the last bit of the setting sun. Eloise, still in her glum state, after a few weeks ago losing her best friend and a man she considered one of the only good things in her life, barely ever answering anyone. There was no come in or yes? From Eloise, she simply said nothing as she knew it to be her maid who would wait about 10 seconds before entering, understanding Eloise' state.
"A parcel, Miss" said her maid as she smiled kindly and left it on the chest of drawers near the door. Eloise nodded in thanks with an appreciative smile to her maid, who returned the gesture before leaving the room and carefully closing the door behind her.
Eloise finally stood up and walked to where the parcel lay on the drawers, looking over it and feeling the brown paper that covered it, which felt oddly familiar. The address on the front appeared to be originally addressed to her families London townhouse, but the maids had presumably sent it on to her at Aubrey Hall where they are to stay throughout late autumn and winter until spring which will start the new season.
She gently pulled on the string bow that was wrapped around the package and carefully pulled out of it a book. Along the spine was written: Social Normatives and Political Establishment. Eloise ran her thumb over the silver writing engraved into the dark blue fabric of the book, finding the title intriguing - who dare send her such a book? Then she read the author below, in much smaller writing: By Theo Sharpe. She comprehended this immediately, understanding that it must of been he who sent it...curiosity overtook her, wanting to bear her grudges but still opening to the first page that bore its title, before turning it to page three that said in cursive letters at the top of the page.
To E.B, for whom was a force to my life and allowed inspiration to prosper within these pages.
Eloise couldn't help but realise E.B must be a way for him to dedicate it to her without actually saying her name - she hopes anyway. Even within the mild anger and resentment she felt towards their last conversation, she couldn't help the butterflies that resided in the pit of her stomach. She shook the book a little, hoping for at least a note to fall out like the last time he sent her a book, only, nothing did. A small amount of disappointment bestowed upon her, yet she still couldn't help but hide her mild joy at the fact he had still, in a way, reached out to her. She say back within her window seat, sun orange on the horizon as it was finally sinking below the trees and began to read, hearing every word on the page said out loud in her head by the man she so wishes to see once more.
The next day, she woke up in early morn, sun still very low in the clouded sky as light shone through the open curtains of her windows - having forgot to close them the night prier due to her mind being overwhelmed with thoughts of a certain printers apprentice. She removed her quilts and threw a gown over her nightdress as the autumn air had made the house feel a little too breezy and cold.
She pulled the chair from her desk and sat on it, opening the drawers of the dark wooden table before her, pulling out some parchment paper, a quill and some ink. She gently dipped the tip of the quill into the ink before bringing it to the page.
Dear Theo,
That's when she realised she was lost for words, no inclination on what to write. She sat in thought for a short moment before deciding upon to trust herself to let her thoughts to be written freely.
I very much appreciate you sending the book, I was reading it all night and find it extremely intriguing. I am yet to finish it of course, but shall let you know when I do. And if one would like, shall hear my thoughts on it, if you shall listen?
With Love, Eloise.
She couldn't bring herself to reread it, simply resigning to immediately fold the pages on themselves. She turned it over and wrote his name and the print shop address on top, ensuring she added her home address in the bottom right corner so he can address his possible next letter correctly. Then she went and brought the lit candle from her side table and held a small cup of wax above it, allowing it to melt before turning the paper over pouring the melted wax where the fold resides and bringing the family crest stamp to mark the now cooling wax.
She wondered downstairs where the maids were preparing food for when the family wake and break their fast. She went to her maid, who had not heard her speak for the last few days, and was shocked when Eloise approached her with a small letter in hand.
"Could you please see this sent as soon as possible?" Eloise smiled as she held the letter out for the maid to take "and may you keep this private? If possible?" She added as the maid took it with a smile of reciprocation
"Of course" her made said with a small nod to Eloise' words.
"Thank you" she said quietly before walking back up to her bed chambers, heart beating many thumps a minute as her nerves got the best of her.
That morning, she had decided in joining her family to break her fast, something they were definitely not used to as of late.
"Eloise?" Her mother said with slight shock to her tone as she looked to her second daughter who just entered the room, plucking a grape and eating it. Her mother had put her cross-stitch to the side as she sat up to see her daughter.
"Morning, mama" Eloise said as she slumped beside Benedict and crossed her arms. Violet and her the children at present - that being Francesca, Colin and Benedict, Hyacinth and Gregory too busy playing chess - all exchanged looks of confusion. It is unusual for Eloise to join them at this hour, let alone talk to any of them.
"Are you feeling quite alright?" Benedict spoke with a light chuckle as he pressed the back of his hand to Eloise' forehead, mockingly feeling if she is too warm and possibly unwell. She slapped his hand away with a huff and the simple roll of her eyes.
"I am quite well, thank you very much" she sighed as she sat up in the sofa, furrowing her brows as everyone in the room focused their attention on her. Her mother had gone to talk but Eloise was quick to interrupt, assuming her mothers words. "Seriously, Mama. I am over my little spout of... melancholy... or whatever" she said with the wave of her hand in dismay.
"A little? Eloise... you would not talk to a soul for weeks. I-" Violet was lost on her words, unsure what to make of her daughters words. Was she well? She has been unable to cheer her up for weeks, no one has. Her dispute with Penelope had appeared to cause more grief than anyone could have anticipated.
"Well, I for one am just happy I have my favourite sibling back to quarrel with" Benedict said with a wide smile and a nudge to his sister, Eloise thumping his knee in response. Their mother didn't say anything, decidedly taking this moment for what it was and not wanting to ruin it.
"Hey! You can't have favourites. That's not fair!" Hyacinth yelled from her place at the chess table, Eloise simply stuck her tongue out at her. As if on cue, Hyacinth had reciprocate the unladylike gesture immediately and their mother rolled her eyes and decidedly resumed her cross-stitching. Yet a small smile still resided on her face, she didn't want to reprimand her daughters for it, enjoying having Eloise back - however long it lasts.
• • •
It is now a very cold Tuesday, one and ten days since Eloise received Theo's book and writing him back a letter. She was yet to receive a response, however. She couldn't help but feel as though she had said something wrong, but she is unable to quite remember what she had written to him. She is now having regretted not rereading her work and making sure it were actually of good standard. Maybe she offended him? Or maybe it was not him who sent the book? What if Eloise made a grave mistake writing him a letter and has now greatly embarrassed herself.
It is now that she got nervous and her unfortunate despondency started to overtake her thoughts. She has resumed her her silence again, not at all leaving her bedchambers on the day of Thursday, officially having been exactly a fortnight since she sent her letter.
There was a knock on Eloise' door, though she knew it was not her ladies maid, the knock not being gentle, nor said knocker waiting at the least ten seconds before entering without any word of confirmation to enter. She watched as her mother walked in, quietly shutting the door behind her and walking over to where Eloise sat at her window seat, watching the light disappear from the horizon, the sun already having set.
"Eloise, dear... you did not come down for supper this evening" her mother said kindly as she sat beside Eloise who was sideways on the seat, back against the wall that was square to the window. "Please talk to me, Eloise... I will listen and not scrutinise for any word you speak, I promise you that." She said as her eyes seemed to well slightly. Eloise could not help but feel guilt for making her mother so worried and upset. Apparently she's been slightly ill as of late, suffering from headaches, and Eloise can't help but think herself to blame.
"I miss Pen" she uttered quietly, though, that isn't fully true. Sure, she misses her old friend, but she just simply cannot express the real reason. She would love to talk of how her heart aches for another, but what would her mother do when she realises the man Eloise seemed to have fallen besotted with was one from the working class.
"Why don't you write her a letter, try to rekindle your beautiful friendship"she said with a smile as she gently placed her hand on Eloise' knee and comfortingly ran her thumb over it back and forth.
"It is not so simple, Mama." Eloise said as she looked back to the darkening sky, stars starting to make their way through the clouds. "What she did, it is not as simple as forgive and forget" she added with the slight twitch of her nose, a sob desperate to escape her. She ended her friendship with Theo because of her, a piece of happiness she treasured so deeply, and she ended it because of Penelope and what she did as Lady Whistledown. She would need to prove herself a great deal to win back the trust of her friend.
"Might I ask what happened? If you are still not ready to talk, that is okay, but I am always here" she said as she drew back her hand into her lap. Eloise looked to her mother, both ladies faces full of solemn before she looked back out at the sky. "It is okay, dear, do not feel pressured" Violet added with a kind smile and Eloise nodded, trying her best at offering her mama a reassuring smile. Her mother knew Eloise was hiding a lot from her, whether it be Penelope or something else, but her mother will be there for her whenever she is ready to open up.
Her mother stood up from the window seat and moved toward Eloise who was yet to remove her gaze from the night sky. She gently brushed back the hair that rested on her forehead and laid upon it a loving kiss, one reassuring her daughter she will always love and care for her.
"Goodnight, dear" she said as she walked across the room, opening the door and leaving. Eloise watched it quietly close behind her before turning back to the sky and admiring the moon, wondering if a certain person back in Bloomsbury were looking upon the same beauty.
The next morning, Eloise woke and bore no will to remove herself from the comfort of her mattress and quilts. She wasn't sure how long she had led there, staring up at her ceilings with overwhelming thoughts of a certain printers apprentice. She missed him to the point she felt as though she couldn't breathe, as if he were the air in which she needed to live... and she loathed it. When did she allow a man to make her feel in such a way. She is an independent woman with her own thoughts and feelings, wants and likes. Yet all that has filled her mind over this autumn is how she wished she could return to the night that which crumpled in her grasp.
How long she had been lost in her thoughts, she did not know, but a gentle knock on her door had surely shaken her from them. There was the usual ten second wait before her lovely maid had entered, holding a price of folded light brown parchment in her hand. Eloise did not realise how fast she shot up, but it brought a smile to the woman holding the letter and Eloise' cheeks tinted rose in embarrassment of her anticipation. Her maid did not need to speak, for Eloise knew. Her maid handed her the letter before quietly leaving with a nod to Eloise.
Eloise carefully tore the wax seal of a dark blue, it is the printers sigil stamped into it. She opened the letter and she immediately recognised his handwriting, having been shown some of his scribblings.
Dear Eloise,
I hope you do not find my letter to be too late. I had been busy as of late and could not find the alone time to write back to you so quickly.
I hope you are well, your presence is missed here at the shop.
I am glad you found the book to be of some intrigue and would appreciate it if you were to visit again when you are back from Aubrey Hall, I shall gladly listen to your thoughts.
With Love, Theo.