Archive of Our Own

“Hey, Kuma-kun,” Izumi asked one night as they listened to the sound of their unit mates’ snores. Ritsu looked up at him curiously, his hand gently running through Tsukasa’s hair as their junior grumbled in his sleep. “That…Isara guy, how do you feed from him?” 

Ritsu looked surprised at the question, tilting his head and thinking about it for a long moment. “Have you never drank anything from someone, Secchan?” He asked after a moment. Izumi shook his head, doing his best not to look down at Leo. He's thought about it once, back when they were a bit younger.

The idea hadn't been all that appealing back then. Feeding was something a vampire only did when they were close to someone–and Izumi had always been far too cold for something like that . It required vulnerability from both parties, trust, and closeness that Izumi had barely considered before outright avoiding the thought entirely.

But thinking about it now? It’s…terrifying.

“Maa-kun’s always fed me. It's never really been scary.” Ritsu hummed, resting his head on his hand. Izumi entertained the idea for a moment, imagining always being around Leo–maybe the idea of holding his life between his teeth would be easier. “It tastes a lot better than blood bags, too~”

Izumi wrinkled his nose at the thought of them. The bland, coppery, and cold liquid he could never get used to but had to choke down. 

“Have you ever asked Naru-kun or Kasa-kun?” 

“Oh, yeah. Sometimes Suu-chan will throw me a bone–and Nacchan loves to spoil me as long as she can hide it, y’know? It’s not like it feels bad for them either if that's what you’re worried about.” 

Izumi knew that, but the fear that kept him from asking simmered in his stomach anyway. Because he’d nearly hurt Leo before, and he didn’t know what he’d do with himself if he got anywhere close to that again.

The memory of blood crusted on Leo’s hands, the scent of it making Izumi salivate despite the broken boy in front of him. His own ragged breathing in his ears as he tried to stifle growing desperation, imagination running rampant as he imagined nothing but sweetness on his tongue.

The very sight of Leo should have made him sick–and it did at first; the greasy hair, the way he whimpered out apologies in that tearful voice, how small and…lifeless he looked. Like a corpse. 

Like prey, Izumi’s brain hazily corrected. 

Underneath the reek of unwashed clothes and markers, blood smelled just as sweet as it always did. As poorly bandaged hands offered themselves up in a desperate attempt to keep giving, a part of Izumi had wanted to bite down on them. Bile burned at the back of his throat, and he had been terrified of that wild look in Leo’s eyes, but he still…

His stomach turned at the memory, skin beginning to crawl with guilt and shame before he took a deep breath. Izumi had already torn apart Leo's innocence, he didn’t deserve to take the very thing that kept Leo alive, too.

He pushed the sickening feeling away, eyes glancing back to the sleeping composer. Leo’s expression was peaceful despite his obnoxious snoring, a content look on his face as he curled a bit closer to Arashi. 

Ritsu looked at him for a long moment before letting out a deep sigh. “Ou-sama wouldn't mind, y’know…” his eyes narrowed knowingly– carefully , and for a moment Izumi wondered if he'd gotten more predictable or if Ritsu’s gotten even better at reading him. Probably both.

Izumi glanced away, a familiar ache settling in his heart at the words. Ritsu’s right, Leo wouldn't mind providing Izumi blood. Everything would be a lot easier if Leo wanted to say no. 

Izumi doesn’t respond, instead choosing to listen to his unitmates’ snoring for a while. The sound soothed him a little, washing over the eerie coldness that had begun to spread through his body with a fonder feeling instead. 

It would be fine, Izumi decided, if not a drop of Leo’s blood ever went past his lips. He’s bled enough for Izumi, hasn't he? Punctured skin with teeth that weren't made for it, wept when the pain grew too much–continued when it grew just numb enough…

In no world was Izumi ever someone worth bleeding for. So it'd be fine if they remained as they were now, with Izumi keeping his hunger in check and Leo keeping what belonged to him. 

Izumi could live with that. He could learn to be content with that.

He shuffled closer to Ritsu with a sigh, shutting his eyes and latching onto whatever comfort the other’s presence gave him. A cold hand ran through his hair, gently pulling him closer and closer to sleep.

Rest came quickly, the sound of Leo’s heartbeat at the back of his mind.

~

Waking up hungry was always the worst.

Normally, Izumi took care in making sure that he was always well-fed. The body should be taken care of and nurtured, and he liked to think he was quite good at taking care of his. Scheduling his meals, precisely measuring them, making sure he ate well…it was all very important.

Blood, however, was far more fickle. He's had to deal with deliveries being put off, or arriving late– and there's no scheduling or substituting that. But at least then, he wasn't living with someone who he could very well hurt if the order didn't arrive soon.

Izumi’s head swam as he crawled out of bed, stomach twisting painfully as he braced himself on the wall after nearly toppling over. His skin beaded with sweat as he hobbled over to the kitchen, his sharp teeth wearing his lip by the time he tore the fridge open.

Izumi just needed something to drink for now–anything to trick his body while he waited for the pangs to pass. Water would do, he's done it before…it doesn't get rid of everything, but it'll help him enough for now.

A hiss tore itself out of his throat, stomach-turning as he yanked a bottle of water out of the fridge. The chill might help soothe his overstimulated brain, so he's glad Leo decided to put some in there.

Just as he was about to puncture the plastic with his teeth, a heavenly, pungent, coffee-like smell made his stomach drop. A shudder tore through his body as the water bottle slipped through his fingers, a barely suppressed gag making his throat ache as he realized Leo was coming home.

He shouldn't be–Leo had been out of town visiting Itsuki to avoid unpacking his boxes, he should be away from here. Where Izumi couldn't hurt him, where Izumi couldn't hear the agonizing thump of his heart. 

Izumi bit his lip, finally snapping out of his stupor with a shiver. He tripped over himself as he stumbled back into their room, scrambling back up as quickly as he could before slamming their door shut. He prayed that Leo would just be in and out, that he'd never even realize Izumi was home.

The door was quiet against the ringing in his ears, the familiar smell of coffee and Izumi’s perfume making his head throb even more as it overwhelmed him–and yet, it was tempting despite the way his stomach burned. 

The give of warm, warm skin as he imagined his teeth piercing it, the taste of Leo searing itself into Izumi’s very being as he drank from the wound. A craving, no matter how horribly depraved it was, finally being satisfied.

A smile flashed his way–loving, adoring, reverent, as the composer let him take even more.

Just imagining it made Izumi’s shoulders tremble–whether it was from shame or desperation, he didn't know. 

A hand wound itself in his hair and pulled, the sting of his scalp barely giving his stupid, stupid body any relief as he tried to stuff those horrible delusions down. He promised himself he'd never take blood from Leo, that Leo could keep the very thing keeping him alive, but–but now–

“Sena?” Leo called, the sound of the composer shutting the fridge loud enough to make Izumi jerk in surprise. Izumi clamped his mouth shut, trembling as he tried to find the words to explain. His head hurt–it was too much, it was too much–

“Leo-kun,” Izumi choked out, unsure if Leo even heard him. The sound of footsteps trailed closer, stopping just before the door to their room. “Don't come in!” Izumi hissed in alarm as the handle of the door turned, a flicker of relief easing the tightness in his heart as Leo left it alone. 

Izumi’s heart hammered in his chest as he looked around the room, trying to find somewhere to crawl to so he could get away from the door—but everything had Leo in it, from the sheets to the clothes in their shared closet. He couldn't do much else but pull his shirt over his nose and hope.

Leo let out a worried noise, shifting a bit before he took a deep breath. “Sena? Hey, c’mon, you don't gotta hide from me, y’know?” He said after a moment. The playful tone he normally spoke with was gone, replaced by an anxious note that made Izumi want to plug his ears to get it away . 

He could let Leo inside.

He couldn't. He couldn't, that would end up worse than where they were now. All Leo had to do was leave, go back to Itsuki’s for safety until Izumi got the blood he needed and this horrible feeling would stop for just a little longer.

“Can you leave? ” Izumi choked out, wincing at his voice. Leo wouldn't care, but it was humiliating. But it was fine–he’d beg as much as he needed to if it got Leo away from him. 

“You're hungry, aren't you?” Leo asked after a long moment. “You left the fridge open and you didn't have anything in there…so it must be pretty bad, huh?” There was a note of sadness in Leo’s voice, a nervous shift in the shadow that peeked behind the door. 

“It's fine, everyone gets hungry, Sena.” Leo continued, and Izumi could just imagine that silly smile on the other’s face. One of comfort and warmth, rare patience in Izumi’s otherwise fickle composer. Izumi wanted to see it, maybe it'd make this all just a little more bearable. 

“If you need to, you can take some of mine to get by?” The love in the composer’s voice was impossible to ignore, and Izumi struggled not to cling too much to it. If he got too comfortable–if he let himself go and let Leo smother him with it, he'd be no better than he was before.

Izumi shivered at the thought, another pang of hunger making him curl into himself a little further. It ached so badly he could feel the beginnings of a sob burn in his throat, and he wondered what Leo would think if he saw something so pitiful. 

Probably do nothing but pick Izumi up and embrace him. Hold Izumi tightly as he whispered words of love, gently coaxing the vampire out of a blood-starved delirium. Smelling intoxicatingly sweet as he tilted his head to the side, a tender, sickening smile on his face as he told Izumi to bite–

Izumi shook himself out of the fantasy, blinking rapidly to get the tears out of his eyes. He shouldn't even be entertaining such…a loathsome idea. Had he learned nothing at all?

Izumi shouldn't let Leo inside. That was…what he had to do, wasn't it?

“Sena?” Leo called again, knocking on the door to get Izumi’s attention. The composer sounded more panicked than last time–how long had Izumi been quiet? “I’m coming in, alright?” And he should fight against it–should yell at Leo to stay away, but the words die on his tongue. 

What a useless body. Giving into his wants the moment something like this was dangled in front of him again–but he doesn't burn with disgust and shame anymore. As the door opened and Leo slowly came inside, he could only think about that delicious heartbeat. 

Izumi struggled to keep still as Leo settled down next to him, the composer giving him a worried look before he pressed something into Izumi’s hands. Water, he's pretty sure…

He dug his fangs into the water bottle the moment Leo handed it to him, relief almost instantaneous as he drank half of it in moments. Izumi leaned back, taking a second to catch his breath before drinking the rest of it. The relief wouldn't last for long; truthfully it doesn’t even get rid of his hunger, but even a little less pain felt like heaven .

The fog in his mind cleared just a little, and shame wormed its way back into Izumi’s stomach, just like it should.

“Wow, it's pretty bad, huh?” Leo murmured, brows furrowing in concern. Izumi looked away, keeping his eyes trained on the ground instead of whatever soft expression Leo had. The last thing he wanted right now was to be coddled.

“Not as bad as it could be,” Izumi replied tersely. It could be far, far worse. If he were any hungrier he might've pinned Leo down the moment he stepped into the room and–

He hoped Leo wouldn't notice him wiping the drool from his mouth, but the way the other’s eyes followed the movement didn't leave him with much. “So you should just–just go back to Itsuki’s or something, alright? If you just explain what happened, he won't care. I’ll tell you when you can come back.” 

“And you?” Leo asked, his tone barely hiding his disbelief. “What’ll you do while you wait?” Starve is the correct answer, but he knew exactly where Leo was going with this.

“I’ll be fine, Leo-kun,” Izumi said instead. It would be… fine . The only reason this was so hellish in the first place was because Leo was here, so if he left then Izumi could just deal with the pangs and aches like he would any other time. “It's you who I’m worried about.” 

“ Me? You're drooling over yourself and you're worried about me?” Leo glared at him, nose wrinkling in anger. He gripped Izumi’s shoulders and shook him, growling in frustration. “What's wrong with you?!” 

“I'm trying to protect you!” Izumi grunted, prying Leo’s hands from his shoulders to get him to stop shaking him. God, he's still dizzy . If Leo shook him anymore he might faint–maybe that was a good idea, actually…

“I don't want to be protected! Not from you!” Leo snapped back, glaring at Izumi like he'd just heard the most idiotic thing in the world. “You're not gonna–what's the worst that happens? I feel woozy and have to rest a bit?”

“But I could,” Izumi replied, and…and maybe it was irrational, but what if Leo doesn’t stop him? What if he did and Izumi was too crazed to let go? “I…I thought about it. Back then.” His voice cracked as the words left his mouth, only to be met with a long silence.

“Back then…” Leo echoed. His voice was soft, horribly careful in a way that made Izumi feel as though he were made of glass. And he was, wasn't he? Leo could confirm everything Izumi felt; that he was forgiven, yes, but those feelings shouldn't be rewarded . That this was all some awful luck and Leo would leave and they'd go back to normal. But instead of any unease, Izumi can only ever feel Leo’s kindness. 

“You’re mad at yourself about that?” Leo asked, crawling a little closer to Izumi. The slow, steady thump of Leo’s heart was so loud now–but it didn't panic him anymore, oddly enough. The world narrowed down to that soothing rhythm, and for once he allowed it.

A pair of warm, warm hands cupped Izumi’s face, brushing over the bruise that had begun to blossom on his chin before cradling his cheeks. He was forced to meet Leo’s eyes, and they were soft with love…it's not a new expression, Izumi painfully realized. Leo always looked at him like he was the moon itself.

One of Leo’s thumbs pushed at Izumi’s bitten lips, exposing the sharpened teeth for the composer to peer at. “If I was the vampire,”  Leo began, his eyes remaining on his canines for a moment before they met Izumi’s eyes again, “and I needed to eat, you'd probably yell at me after giving me your wrist.” 

“That's…”

“It's the same! Waaaah, do you even hear yourself sometimes?” Leo chided–and god, he was so frustrating because Izumi didn't…deserve this. “You still think you're some sorta monster instead of just Sena?” He pressed his lips together, thinking for a long moment. 

“I don't think you are, even if you still think so. I'm not scared at all! I couldn't be, y’know…I said I’d take in every part of you, remember?” Leo continued with a firm expression. Izumi knew that. That was part of the problem. “It was sad before; I remember it too. But did you wanna hurt me, Sena?” 

“No, never,” Izumi replied quickly. He had lived enough agonizing days without Leo to know he'd never want to hurt the other again. The model frowned when Leo’s face shifted to something sadder at the words, though.

“And you didn't, remember? Even if you wanted to, you didn't.” Leo replied. “If anyone's to blame, it's me.” He placed a palm over Izumi’s mouth to muffle him when Izumi tried to respond. “ I knew what I was doing. That's all I had left to give, y’know?” 

“Leo-kun…” 

“But things are different now, Sena! You know that, too. Let me take care of you.” The composer gave him a sweet smile, and Izumi felt the coldness in his heart start to crack. “We were washed of our sins and reborn, weren't we? Give and take now, that's what you said. You don't gotta take it all the time if you don't wanna, but don't be so scared of it.” 

“You…you should keep it. That's the one thing you should–” He’s shaking again, he realized belatedly. His stupid body was so pathetic, falling apart right in front Leo like this. What does he even want anymore…?

“I wanna give some to you,” Leo replied, and he felt so much closer than he had a moment ago. Izumi could choke up at the warmth in the other's skin as Leo reached to hold him close–hold him together. “It's mine, isn't it, Sena? It’s yours, if you want it. Let's love each other like this, too.” 

Izumi shivered as Leo’s fingers combed through his hair. He doesn't ignore the way his heart swelled at the words, because he does . He wanted to memorize every part of Leo, from the softness of his skin to the way it parted beneath his teeth. 

The idea was intoxicating, his mouth started to water as his fantasies began to take hold again. Leo would taste sweet, wouldn't he? Like home, or some other ridiculous thought his brain conjured up to tempt him. 

If it's done out of love, then maybe…

“Leo-kun…” he mumbled, feeling his hunger begin to grow rampant. If he was going to make a decision, he needed to make it soon. Leo’s patience might not run out, but Izumi’s would, whether he liked it or not. 

They'll both be…extremely vulnerable. Leo could get hurt very, very easily–and although Izumi is the one feeding, he wouldn't be able to concentrate on much besides that. It wasn't a process done without some sort of trust, but…they trusted each other. 

The thought made him woozy, the butterflies rattling around in nervous delight in his ribs not helping either. If…if Leo would stop him, then maybe it'd be fine. Just enough for the ache to stop. He would make Leo leave if he felt unsafe. 

“Just enough until the shipment gets here,” Izumi said firmly. “You have to stop me when you need to, Leo-kun. Promise?” 

“Promise, promise…” Leo replied, and Izumi could just imagine the easy smile on his face. “But don't be so scared anymore, all right? I wanna share it because I love you.” He held Izumi tighter, petting the back of Izumi’s head to soothe him. “I don't think I have to, I just want to. And you want it too, right?”

For years. Even after the idea was poisoned, he wanted to love Leo.

“C'mon Sena! Don't hide from me anymore! Love me exactly the way you want to! We’re all beasts at the end of the day, aren't we?” Leo laughed, pulling away to meet Izumi’s gaze again. The composer smiled, pressing a kiss to Izumi’s cheek before leaning back against the wall. 

He tugged Izumi over him, tilting his head to expose the softness of his throat. Izumi swallowed nervously, but even with that he couldn't help but feel exhilarated. Not shameful or guilty– exhilarated . He wanted this, wanted Leo to sear his very being into everything Izumi was. 

“Here, right?” Leo asked, an excited note in his voice as Izumi loomed closer. He shivered a little when Izumi pressed his lips against his neck, relaxing into the feeling after a moment. It was a weak attempt to soothe Izumi’s instincts more than one of comfort, but he smiled against Leo’s skin anyway. 

Leo was still so warm…sure, the composer was beyond clingy , constantly touching Izumi whenever he could, but here and now he’s so warm it was all Izumi could think about. He wanted to burn the feeling into his mind–but it's not like he could ever possibly forget Leo’s warmth in the first place. 

Izumi felt his mind get hazier at the thought, opening his mouth to bite Leo’s throat. The skin gave as easily as he dreamed about, an instinctive jolt from Leo making him pin the other’s shoulders down to keep him still. He vaguely heard Leo make an uncomfortable noise, but he couldn't concentrate enough to even be sure it happened.

The sweet flavor was immediately overwhelming as it flooded his mouth, a horrifying whine weaseling his way out of his throat the moment he tasted it. It was far too much–part of him wanted to stop and breathe, to take the taste in and calm down, but he didn't want to pull away at all. 

He's drowning in Leo’s love, he realized. Drinking it up so desperately it startled him a little..but he wanted this. This lovely, warm closeness with Leo he couldn't possibly get any other way. Izumi craved it more than he knew he had, because he's loved Leo for…for so long.

Izumi might be humiliated if he wasn't so satisfied. The pleasant sweetness on his tongue melted away his guilt and shame, the only unpleasant feeling in his body being the ache in his throat, but even that soreness felt more like relief than regret.

Izumi allowed himself to relax a little more, his desperation petering out into laziness. He shuddered as Leo’s fingers brushed along the ridges of his spine, the last bit of his coherence washing away as Leo’s hands ran over the skin of his back almost thoughtfully.

Leo twitched with laughter, a hand reaching up to comb through Izumi’s hair as if he were trying to ground him. He murmured something Izumi couldn’t concentrate on enough to make out, but he didn’t make him pull away.

After a few more minutes, Izumi finally felt Leo attempt to push him away. The idea of letting go came easier now and he unlatched himself from Leo’s neck after another gentle push, blinking slowly at the bite mark for a moment before leaning back toward the wound.

The next step was instinctual as an unpleasant taste filled his mouth. Izumi gave the bite its last few licks, pulling away to watch as the wound stopped bleeding moments after, mesmerized by it.

“Sena? You with me?” Leo’s voice called, pulling his attention away from the bite. 

“Uhh–um, kind of,” Izumi mumbled, eyeing the ugly bruise that began to form on Leo’s neck with a wince. God, Leo would probably be hiding that for a while…could he have picked a worse spot? Covering it up when he could was gonna be so tedious.

“Ugh, sorry,” Izumi muttered, nose wrinkling at how unpleasant the anesthetic’s bitterness was compared to Leo’s sweet blood. The taste coaxed him out of that unsightly drunken state, but it tasted horrendous . He licked his lips, hoping to catch whatever might've spilled. He was messy –How on earth Leo didn’t complain was beyond him.

That idiot probably thought it was inspiring…a glance into the depths of humanity or something. Or silly, at the very least. How annoying. 

Leo blinked up at him drowsily, a small smile on his face as he weakly reached up to stroke Izumi’s cheek. “My Sena…I’d kiss you, but that's kinda gross~” he murmured, a tired laugh escaping his lips as he shut his eyes.

“I'd kill you,” Izumi replied, wrinkling his nose at the thought. “Gross, don't even make me think about it. Do you know how unsanitary that is?” He pressed his lips together, eyeing the bruise again. “God, that looks awful already…we need to ice this later on.” 

“Later, later…come here,” Leo pulled Izumi closer, hugging him tightly with a hum of content. “You’re warmer now.” He said after a moment, hands slipping under Izumi’s shirt to press against his skin again. He nosed the crook of Izumi’s neck, indulging himself in whatever warmth the model could spare.

Izumi relaxed as fingers traced music notes onto his skin, giving into the laziness that began to fog up his brain again rather easily. He should probably worry that they were still on the floor, but gentle motions made it hard to care much. Leo would probably need to rest before they move anyway, so for now, Izumi can find it in him to let it slide.

What a strange thing, honestly. He expected this to be more…horrible. For Leo to actually be hurt, maybe. But his partner was completely lax underneath him, a lazy (lovely) smile probably written all over his face as he dozed off.

The thought made his throat ache a little. He imagined being overrun with guilt, the feeling burning just as much in his stomach as the blood did–but he wasn’t. Maybe later on, when everything's caught up to him, he will be, but for now, he was just with Leo.

It was a nice thing, after all. Even though Izumi’s been so selfish already, he can't really stop himself from taking a little more. He shut his eyes and let himself doze, hugging Leo tightly so he could leech more warmth from the other.

“Up we go!” Leo chirped after a few minutes, poking at Izumi to get off of him. He laughed as Izumi grumbled in annoyance, giving the model an easy smile. “You’ll get pissed if I let us pass out on the ground, don't get too upset.” 

Oh, definitely. Now that Leo mentioned it, he really, really wanted to get off the floor. Even though he can say he's satisfied, that doesn't make him feel less humiliated now that he's aware of how he must look. 

“Hold still for a sec,” Leo hummed. Izumi remained uncomfortably still as Leo reached for his face, the composer’s fingers tracing his lip in a way that made him want to squirm away from the touch. His face was still messy with blood, Leo definitely shouldn't touch it, he shouldn’t even be looking at Izumi in such a state. 

He was about to complain about it, but the words died in his throat as he watched Leo’s eyes narrow carefully. He let Leo tilt his head, his chest tightening as Leo smiled gently– reverently. Just like he always did.

“Mm, even after all that I still think you're beautiful!” Leo hummed, bumping their foreheads together fondly. Izumi relaxed, letting out a shaky breath before closing his eyes. It was a predictable thing for Leo to say, but it still relieved Izumi to hear. “It's not so bad~! I like it, you're all warm because of me!” 

“...don't say that sort of stuff.” Izumi huffed, pulling away from the composer after a moment. “God, the floor is sooooo gross. I can't believe I did this here.” He stood up quickly, helping Leo to his feet when the other seemed a little unsteady. Embarrassment simmered in his chest as he turned Leo’s words over in his head, but he pushed it away for now.

“Next time, we’ll do it at the dinner table…I’ll get you a napkin and everything, I’ll be a real fancy dinner.” Leo yawned, leaning on Izumi a bit too much. The words made Izumi chew on the side of his cheek nervously, his heart jumping in delight at the idea of a next time . 

Izumi stuffed it down, trying to squash the butterflies that rattled against his ribs in excitement. There shouldn't be a next time, he got what he wanted and this should be enough. Even if it wasn't, this was all he needed.

“Ah, Leo-kun—”

“It's fine, Sena! It didn't hurt any!” Izumi stared at him for a second, glancing toward the ground so he didn't have to see Leo’s expression. A quick kiss was pressed to his cheek as if to soothe him. “Be more selfish, hmm? I like you , y’know?” Leo continued, leaning over to meet Izumi’s eyes. “I’ll be selfish about it too, Sena. Noooo biting other people! Only me!”

Sometimes, Izumi was beyond thankful he couldn't blush. Leo seemed to pride himself in finding the other ways his embarrassment showed if that cheeky grin on his face had anything to say about it.

“...right. Whatever, come on, you need to lay down properly.” Izumi chided. Leo whined before he let himself be dragged toward the bed before he flopped onto it ungracefully. He immediately sought the comfort of their pillows, eyes peeking open to look at Izumi expectantly once he made himself comfortable. 

He's waiting for him, Izumi realized after a moment. “I have to go clean my face,” Izumi explained, taking an awkward step back. Leo made a dismissive noise in reply, nosing into the pillow and shutting his eyes. 

“Don’t think too hard, Sena.” He called as Izumi opened the door to their bathroom. Izumi made note of it, taking a deep breath before taking a look in the mirror. His face was not as bad as he thought it would be, thankfully. The sharpness of his teeth had dulled down, thankfully, and the blood on his chin would go away if he scrubbed it…aside from that, he looked completely normal.

Izumi let out a relieved sigh, surprised that he was even holding his breath in the first place. Beautiful, huh? He turned the word over in his head as he cleaned his face, lamenting the final few notes of sweetness in his mouth in exchange for the mintiness of toothpaste.

It’s…odd to feel so satisfied after feeding. Normally after he ate, Izumi swathed himself in blankets after cleaning his mouth out to heat himself somewhat–but right now he doesn't feel the need. 

He had imagined it'd feel more intense, more addicting. Leo’s love was bright and scorching, making itself known to whoever could possibly want it. But Izumi doesn't burn, he's warmed by it instead. Comforted.

Izumi knew he wouldn't stay like this forever, he wasn't made to be like this, after all. For now though, he's warm. Even when the inevitable chill started to creep back in, he had a feeling that Leo would hold him just as gently then, too. 

The room he returned to was definitely not quiet–Leo’s horrific snoring made him wince a little bit as he crept inside. But if Izumi strained his ears, he could still hear Leo’s heartbeat…and surely it wasn't too bad if he wanted to listen a bit more, right?

Before he realized it, made his way over and crawled onto their bed. He listened for a long moment, holding his breath as the beat of Leo’s heart filled his ears. It's serene in a way it only was when Leo’s sleeping, a delicate sound that he wished he could listen to forever.

Normally he'd attempt to stop listening, but tonight he felt too selfish to stop. Izumi should've known better, really. Now that Leo had given him this, he wouldn't be able to find it in himself to stop anytime soon.

He tilted Leo’s head slowly, fingers gently trailing toward the bite marks after the other man didn't stir. They've long since stopped bleeding and the area should still be numb…Izumi felt his lips pull into a smile as he leaned closer to examine the peaceful expression on Leo’s face. It’s cute, really, almost cute enough to piss him off–but Leo was normally like that.

Izumi rested his head on Leo's chest, listening to the steady thump of the composer's heart for a long moment. The sound didn't reignite any festering guilt, nor any disgraceful craving, it just...sounded like Leo's heartbeat. 

Izumi liked it. He loved it. 

It had never sounded so nice to listen to before. The sound had only ever made him antsy and irritated–a grim reminder of every despicable thing Izumi had craved, but now it was soothing, every beat being proof that Leo was warm and alive underneath him.

For a moment he understood the beauty Leo saw in everything, the noise making his chest tighten with something he couldn't quite find a name for. The frustration with words the composer always expressed began to make more sense, because there wasn't one that Izumi could think of to describe this feeling.

Love, maybe. Even though that word seemed a little weak at the moment. 

A hand found its way into Izumi's hair, combing through it gently before a raspy voice pulled Izumi out of his thoughts. "Go to bed, Sena..." Leo mumbled drowsily, his breathing evening out just moments later.

Izumi laughed quietly before he shut his eyes and let himself fall asleep.