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Everyone has a soulmate, but love was considered a weakness, a dangerous distraction, for a Stormtrooper. They were meant to be soldiers, servants loyal only to the Dark Side, who obeyed the commands of their commander without question or hesitation. Stormtroopers weren’t meant to fall in love, they were denied such happiness. When you turned sixteen, your soulmates name appeared over your heart, like a tattoo on your skin. Younger Stormtroopers, still in training at sixteen, had no choice but to have the mark removed from their bodies forever. It was burned off them, the process was quick but agonising. The physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional trauma the young Stormtroopers faced. To have your soulmate mark removed was to lose the hope that you would ever find the person you were meant to be with. Refusal was not an option, a Stormtrooper could not have a soulmate.
FN-2187 had had his mark removed before he had even had a chance to read what it said. It was noticed by one of his fellow trainees and he was taken immediately to his commander. He could still remember, years later, the smell of his burning flesh. He regularly woke up in the middle of the night, sweating and gasping, his hand flying to the scarred patch of skin over his heart. Before the First Order had taken his soulmate from him, he had believed the way of the Dark Side was right, but after that day he had slowly become more and more disillusioned. He wanted to leave, to run away and never have to put on the white armour again or hold a blaster in his hands, but he couldn’t, he knew he would be caught and shot for desertion. Instead, he buried the dream of leaving the First Order deep inside of himself, resigning himself to a life without love, without choice. He was a soldier, a servant of the Dark Side, nothing more. He was just another gun - expendable.
But then he had met Poe Dameron and seen his chance for escape, of a life beyond the First Order.
When he first saw the captured Resistance pilot, the scarred skin where his soulmate mark had been had seared painfully. He had to help the man, something inside of him was screaming at him to not let Kylo Ren hurt him. The thought of him being killed had made his knees go weak and his heart contract as if it had been seized in a fist.
Poe had instantly captivated him, he was brave and witty, handsome and kind. The pilot had looked at him – and he meant really looked at him – and had seen him, not the Stormtrooper, but him the person. Finn - and he had given him a name, a proper name!
Though the First Order had tried to stop him from feeling, Finn knew he was in love with Poe Dameron. But did the pilot love him in return? How could he when he wasn’t his soulmate? Yes, Finn had never seen the name on his chest but what were the chances that it had read ‘Poe Dameron’?
***
Poe had always feared something was wrong with his soulmate mark. It hadn’t made sense to him, it wasn’t a name – FN-2187 – what was that supposed to mean? But then he had met Finn and it had all clicked into place. Yet, even after the Stormtrooper had told him his ‘name’, Poe had instantly refused to use it - no one should be known as a number - despite it being on his skin over his heart.
So, it turned out his soulmate was a Stormtrooper, Poe hadn’t seen that one coming. But Finn was amazing, he was strong, sweet to the point of naivety, and charming without even knowing it. If you had a say in who was your soulmate then Poe would have chosen Finn, but then again he guessed that was the deal with soulmates.
Every time Poe saw Finn he wanted to touch him, to pull him into his arms and kiss his full lips. But he held himself back. It was common knowledge how Stormtroopers didn’t have soulmate marks, it was said they sliced the skin off their own bodies as a way of showing their commitment and loyalty to the Dark Side. How could someone do that? Remove their soulmate mark from their body?
Poe was unsure how Finn would take him revealing that he was his soulmate. Surely Finn remembered the name on his chest before he had cut it from his body? Poe Dameron, his name wasn’t common, he didn’t believe it was easy to forget. Finn must know that he was his soulmate but he had never mentioned it, not once, despite all the time they spent together. Why not? The only reason Poe could come up with was that Finn’s Stormtrooper training had succeeded in destroying that part of him, the part of his heart that knew how to fall in love, or at least allow himself to fall in love.
So, he did not mention it and he never planned to either, till one day when Finn walked into his quarters and everything changed. He had been elbow-deep inside his X-Wing for most of the day, his clothes were streaked with engine oil and he was tired to the point he almost fell asleep beneath the hot spray of the shower. He had just laid down on his bunk to sleep when there came a knock at his door.
He sighed heavily but called out anyway, “Come in!” He closed his eyes and rubbed them as the door to his quarter’s opened.
“Um…Poe?”
“Finn!” He sat up quickly, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face as it did every time he saw the younger man.
“Sorry, I – urr,” Finn hesitated, rubbed his hand over the back of his head, “I wanted to talk to you about something but – sorry – I’ll come back.”
“No,” Poe said a little too desperately, he swung his legs off his bunk, “Now’s fine. Come and sit, Finn.”
The ex-Stormtrooper walked cautiously over and sat next to Poe on his bunk. Poe watched Finn pick nervously at his thumb nail for a moment then reached out and gently touched took his hand. Finn looked up at Poe, his eyes wide and filling with tears. The sight caused his soulmate mark to burn dully and he lifted his other hand to Finn’s face and wiped away the tear that slid down his cheek.
“Finn, what is it? What’s wrong?” He asked softly, shifting closer till their shoulders and thighs were pressed together. Finn leant into the contact; Poe threaded their fingers together.
“I-I have to tell you something,” Finn stammered, “something important but I shouldn’t…”
“Why are you afraid?” Poe asked, shocked and slightly wounded that Finn didn’t trust him enough to feel safe telling him something that was important to him.
Finn looked down at their joined hands and took a deep breath, “Poe…ever since the First Order burnt off my soulmate mark I feared I would never feel – love – anyone in my life. I thought they had taken that from me. But…”
“Wait,” Poe frowned, “they burnt off your soulmate mark? It’s thought you cut off your mark to prove your loyalty.”
Finn looked horrified, “No! We don’t have a choice. As soon as the mark appears they force you to have it removed. You can’t continue in your training with a soulmate mark.”
Finn didn’t need to say what happened if you refused, Poe knew enough about the First Order to guess.
“What I was trying to say, Poe, is that I think I love you. But I shouldn’t, without a soulmate mark I…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t put you in this situation.”
He pulled his hand free and lurched to his feet. Poe was stunned, he gapped at Finn’s back as he hurried across the room. He couldn’t believe it, Finn loved him, for all this time!
Finn reached the door but paused there.
“They’re very lucky,” he whispered, his hand on the handle, “the person out there who has your name over their heart.”
“But, Finn, wait!” Poe leapt up and towards the younger man, “It’s you – you’re my soulmate – it’s you. FN-2187, it’s on my skin!”
He grabbed Finn by the arm and spun him around, “Look!” He yanked down the neck of his loose t-shirt to reveal the black letters and numbers on his skin. Finn stared at the mark, his eyes once more brimming with tears.
“Why…” he breathed, “why didn’t you say anything?”
“I wish I had, Finn, by the Force I wish I had!” Poe reached out and cupped Finn’s face between his hands, “But, with your mark gone and your years as a Stormtrooper, I feared you didn’t know how to love, I thought they’d taken that from you. I wanted to save you the pain and confusion.”
“Poe…” tears spilled down Finn’s cheeks. He suddenly leaned in and kissed Poe hard. For a second he didn’t react, so overwhelmed that what he had been dreaming of for months was finally happening, but then he felt Finn begin to pull away and hastily returned the kiss.
“I’m sorry, so sorry,” he gasped into Finn’s mouth, “I love you, I love you, Finn.”
Finn pulled back slightly, shyly touching Poe’s face with trembling fingertips then lowering his hand to Poe’s t-shirt collar. The pilot held his breath as Finn pulled down the neckline and traced the mark with his thumb. A bolt of electricity shot through Poe and he gasped, his legs shaking. Finn jumped too, eyes wide and locking with Poe’s.
“I felt that,” he said incredulously, “even though mine is gone, I felt that! It’s true, I really am your soulmate!”
Poe kissed Finn again, sensing already that he would never be able to get enough of the taste and feeling of the other’s mouth. “Yes, yes you are. And I am yours, Finn, we're soulmates.”
Neither of them were experts on love but together they would discover and learn, together they would spend the rest of their days, lives and souls entwined, in this life and the next.