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Chapter Text

“Are you sure we need to be this early?” Mara asks tentatively as she pulls into the almost empty parking lot.

“I have that meeting with Principal Moon before first period and I want to figure out the fastest way to all my classes,” Adora explains for the tenth time. She loves her mom and will never be able to repay her for how amazing she has been these past few months, but ever since… well, ever since it happened, she’s forgotten how to be chill. “I’ll be fine.”

Mara gives a thin-lipped smile, but her firm grip on the steering wheel doesn’t let up.

“If you need anything, call me, okay?”

“I will,” she promises.

“I know you said you didn’t want to start by taking half days, but I want you to know that it’s still an option, kiddo. You don’t need to prove yourself to anybody, you’re allowed to take it slow.”

“I know.” Adora sighs thoughtfully. “I just… I think if I don’t go back for real now then I never will. I’m scared that I’ll forget how to be normal or something.”

“Okay.” Mara pulls into a parking spot close to the school’s entrance. “It’s okay to want things to go back to normal, I get it. Just be careful.”

Adora hadn’t realised she has been dreading this particular hurdle until she touches the door handle. Mara pulls the wheelchair out of the trunk and for a moment Adora’s heart doesn’t beat right. She’s going back to school, the school where she had her accident. The school where everyone used to know her as the cheer captain, but now all they’ll see is how –

“Adora?” Mara puts a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Do you need a minute?”

Not trusting herself to speak, Adora shakes her head. It takes her longer than she’d like to unbuckle her seatbelt, but eventually Mara is helping her into the wheelchair just like her physical therapist showed her to.

“I’m so proud of you, Squirt,” Mara smiles, kissing Adora on the top of her head. “I’ll bet you’re too cool to let your lame old mom walk you inside, huh?”

Adora rolls her eyes. “You aren’t lame.”

“So you’ll let me walk you in?”

“Absolutely not,” Adora laughs.

“I’ll be here, two forty-five, okay?”

“Actually, can you come a little later?” Adora looks down at her knees. “When there will be less people?”

“How does three sound?”

“Perfect, thanks mom.”

Carefully, Adora pushes off towards the front entrance, where she knows the access ramp is. Coming back to school feels kind of like a dream. Not in the ‘this is all I’ve ever wanted’ kind of way but the ‘everything feels just a little bit wrong’ kind of way. From the chair, her perspective is much lower than her usually high vantage point. The whole place feels huge, but somehow the walls start to suffocate her. Ignoring the tightening of her chest, Adora makes her way through the familiar halls to her locker, biting back tears as she remembered it was on the second row.

It's fine, Adora tells herself, I can get a new locker. I just have to grab my books.

Looking up and down the hallway, Adora puts on her brakes and flips up the footrests. She’s been getting better at standing, her physical therapist has assured her as much, but standing surrounded by support bars and a pair of arms to catch her if she falls feels very different to an empty hall. Regardless, she braces her hands on the armrests of her wheelchair and pushes up, breathing through the begrudgingly familiar shooting pains as she gets to her feet. 

It isn’t until she’s at eye level with the lock that she realised she can’t remember the combination.

Sitting back down more abruptly than she should have, Adora pulls out her phone and texts Glimmer, asking her if she knows the code. She knows she won’t get an answer for a while, Glimmer Moon is not a morning person and is chronically late in the mornings, much to her mother’s disappointment.

Glimmer

28 – 10 – 13

wait why do you need to know?

ARE YOU COMING BACK TO SCHOOL TODAY??????

ON A WEDNESDAY?!?!?!

Cringing internally, Adora slips her phone back into her backpack, mentally preparing for Glimmer’s wrath. 

“Adora, it’s lovely to see you!” Castaspella calls from down the hall. “How have you been?”

“Better, thanks.” Forgetting she put the brakes on, Adora tries and fails to turn to face her principal. She swallows her frustration, taking off the brakes and turning around. 

“You are rather early for our meeting,” Casta comments.

“Yeah, I uh…” Has Casta always been this tall? “I wanted to do some recon, make sure I knew where I was going for everything. Be prepared, I guess.”

“Ah, I see.” Casta looks at her watch. “Well, we have thirty minutes until we’re scheduled to meet, but I can walk around with you if you’d like?”

“That’s okay,” Adora answers automatically. “Actually, would you mind helping me grab some stuff from my locker?”

“Of course! Write down your code, I shall have the office assign you a new locker that’s easier for you to access.” Casta hands over a small note pad and pencil, but Adora declines.

“It’s probably easier if you do it,” Adora mumbles.

Realisation dawns on Casta’s face, but Adora cuts off her apologies with the locker combination. Taking the hint, Casta lets it go and puts in the code.

“Oh my!” She says, catching the mountains of cards that fell out as she pulled the door.

Adora’s face went bright red. Back when she was still in the hospital, Glimmer had texted her a picture of her locker, covered in get well soon signs and other well-meaning messages. Even back then, when she didn’t know if she’d be able to eat by herself again, Adora had demanded they be taken down. She couldn’t even send the message herself; she had her mom call Casta to have her handle it. The thought that she has this much attention, for this, makes Adora a little queasy.

“Why don’t I get a box for all of your things and take them to my office until your new locker is arranged?”

“That would be great.” Adora forces a smile. “I’m gonna, uh, go. Now.”

“Of course, I’ll see you in a little while.”

Adora wheels herself away, double checking her schedule before heading off towards the history department, where she’s supposed to be for first period. It’s odd. Not just being back but being in these halls alone. She steels herself. She’s been waiting for so long for this day, she can’t lose her nerve now. All she has to do is find the most inoffensive path from history to English. 

Her history classroom has two entrances, one in the main hallway and one that passes by the football field and through the library. Clearly the main hallway is out of the question, too many people to avoid, too big a crowd to fight through. It won’t be convenient if it’s raining, Adora realises as she makes her way outside, but that’s a problem for future Adora.

The back entrance to the library isn’t automatic, but she’s trying to be positive, so Adora mentally adds asking George to keep it propped open for her to her ever growing to-do list as she wrestles with the heavy door. It slams closed once she’s inside, the bang echoing against the stacks. Grateful that she’s alone, Adora manoeuvres through the stacks towards the main doors. 

Stopping abruptly, Adora peers through the bookshelves to the cluster of desks in the middle of the room, where a student is sat surrounded by papers, engrossed in whatever they’re working on.

Catra D’riluth.

Instinctively, Adora ducks down, biting her tongue at the pull of the awkward movement. She doesn’t think Catra sees her. Or at least, she hopes she hasn’t. In all of the… well, everything, Adora had forgotten about the Catra of it all. 

As quietly as she can, Adora sneaks out of the library.

-----

Adora would never understand how Catra could be so smart when whenever they did homework together it turned into… well. Another paper ball hit her face.

“Do you mind?”

“No not at all,” Catra replied nonchalantly. “Your giant forehead is just such a big target, it’s great for practice.”

“Oh yeah? What are you practising for?”

“The screwed-up ball of comp-sci homework forehead target Olympics.” Catra paused, throwing another paper ball. “Obviously.”

“I thought it would be the race to annoy your friend into failing geometry.”

“Nah, that’s next month.”

“Is that right?”

Adora turned back to her work but was interrupted by another paper ball to the head.

“Catra!” She whined, “Please! I need to finish this.”

“Relax, it isn’t due ‘til next week. I’ll help you with it tomorrow after school if you come to the movies with me.”

“I can’t, I have try-outs after school tomorrow, and then you have that math thing, and I’m helping Razz paint her spare room this weekend.”

“Try-outs?”

“Yeah.” Adora put a handful of candy in her mouth. “For cheerleading.”

“You’re kidding?” Catra laughed, but her chuckles were cut short when she saw Adora’s face. “I thought you wanted to do soccer?”

“I did,” Adora replied. “But then I met some of the cheerleaders and they told me that I’d be great at it.”

“I’m sure they did,” Catra grumbled.

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

Adora decided not to press. “Anyway, my mom was a cheerleader when she came here.”

“So you have to be?”

“No. I want to be. She was just…” She waved her hand around, “the inspiration.”

“So what, you’re gonna go be one of those stuck-up bitches in the tight costume throwing each other up in the air and calling it a sport?”

“What?”

“You do know how shitty those people are, right?”

“Just because I want to be a cheerleader doesn’t make me shitty, Catra.”

“You know what, that’s fine.” Catra started shoving her things in her backpack. “Have fun with your pom-poms.”

“Catra, wait!”

“What?”

“Try-outs don’t start until four. You can help me with this until then, and we can go to the movies now.”

“Fine, but we’re getting buttered popcorn.”

Adora rolled her eyes, quickly packing away her things as she half-heartedly listened to Catra tease her hatred for buttered popcorn. She did want this, right? Catra wasn’t on to anything when she said she was just doing it because her mom did? 

“Hey, dummy,” Catra called. “I’ll get you some candy if you hurry up, I don’t want to miss the trailers.”

-----

After her near miss with Catra, Adora finishes planning her route between classes. The only time she’ll have to use a main hallway is to get to the cafeteria, which is coincidentally the one place she’s been actively dreading. Technically, she doesn’t have to sit in the cafeteria; there are a bunch of places across campus to sit during lunch and she brought her own food, but her friends always take the same seats at the same table, and she doesn’t know if she can bring herself to ask to sit somewhere else.

Whatever, Adora thinks, I’ll figure it out.

Her journey back towards the principal’s office is a little more crowded than she expected at this time of the morning, though the few people walking the halls either don’t notice her or completely ignore her. Either way, it’s fine by her, she doesn’t really want people to see her anyway. Her arms start to ache, though, after pushing herself for so long today. It’s not like she hasn’t been practising, mind. Just last night she and her mom went for a stroll around the neighbourhood, but the campus is big, and she’s already made her way pretty much everywhere.

“Adora!” Casta calls from her office doorway. A few heads turn but no one bats and eye as she wheels into the office.

“I have just a few things I’d like to go over before your day begins,” Casta says kindly as she sits down. “I have an access key here; this should allow you to use the elevator and the disabled bathroom.”

Adora hesitates before she slides the key into her hand, as if taking it would be accepting… everything. It isn’t forever, Adora tells herself, stuffing the key into her backpack, just for now.

“With regards to your schoolwork.” She pulls out a stack of pages. “I understand you have been attempting to catch up at home?”

“Yeah, most of my teachers sent some work over with Glimmer,” Adora replies, “I think I got to it all.”

“I’m afraid that only covered about a third of what you missed.”

A third? That’s it? Adora thinks as her heart drops, fuck.

“Since you have said that you would like to walk at graduation with your peers, I have taken the liberty of arranging for some peer-to-peer tutoring.”

Adora tries to pay attention to Casta, she really does, but the mention of walking at graduation makes her face heat up and she has to fight with herself not to cry. Was that even an option? Even if she manages to catch up, somehow, and actually graduates on time, is she going to be able to get up out of this stupid chair and get herself across that stage without falling or embarrassing herself?

“Adora?”

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“Just that your peer tutor should be arriving any-“ a knock at the door “-second. Come in!”

“Hey, Principal Moon, you wanted to-“

“Catra come in and sit down.”

“Catra?” Adora spins around so fast that the jolting pain that follows takes her breath away. She waves off her principal when her vision stops spinning. “I’m good.”

Catra scoffs.

Adora ignores her.

“I was just telling Adora that you are going to be her tutor for the-“

“Absolutely not,” Catra insists.

“Gee, thanks.”

“Oh, so you really want to be stuck with me trying to teach you math, Princess?”

Neither acknowledge the nickname.

“She’s right,” Adora admits, “it can’t be her.”

“I am aware that the both of you have a… history.”

“You can say that again,” Adora mumbles.

“However, I’m afraid you don’t have a choice.” Casta turns her computer screen to face the both of them, showing them both a spreadsheet of green, with a single red line across the entire page. “Catra, don’t think I haven’t noticed that you haven’t attended a single gym class this semester.”

“That’s-“ 

“I’m not finished. Because of your stellar record I am willing to overlook your unexcused absences if you attend your PE lessons as scheduled, and if you tutor Adora. If you decide against taking my offer, I’m afraid there is a chance that you will not graduate.”

“That isn’t fair!”

“It wouldn’t be fair to the other students to-“

“Fuck the other students!”

“Ms D’riluth, that language will not be tolerated in my school, regardless of how fond of you I am. That will be the last time that word passes your lips in these halls, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Principal Moon.”

“Good. Now, will you accept my incredibly generous offer, or shall I send over some paperwork regarding summer school?”

“Fine.”

“Excellent!” Casta claps. “Well, girls, I believe the bell is about to ring, so unless either of you have any questions, I will see you later!”

Dumbfounded, Adora follows Catra out of the office and into the now significantly busier hall.

“Are we going to talk about it?”

“No way,” Adora replies simply.

“Fine, are you free after school?” Catra asks impatiently.

“No, I have a ph- a thing.”

“A thing?”

“A thing.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow’s good.”

“Library, three o’clock. If you aren’t there, I’m telling Casta you bailed.” Catra starts to walk away but she stops in her tracks and turns back. “Glad you didn’t die, moron.”

-----

Adora had hoped that Glimmer’s joy that she was back at school would outweigh her anger at not being told, but…

“Adora Marie Hart!”

Yeah, that was never going to happen.

Glimmer stomps across the hall, shoulder checking anyone who dares get in her way whilst she’s on a warpath.

“That’s not my middle name?” 

“I know! Because I am your best friend who knows everything about you, including the fact that you don’t have a middle name!” Glimmer storms closer, throwing her arms up in the air. “Except apparently I don’t because you’re here and you didn’t tell me!”

“It’s not like I was going to hide from you all day,” Adora mumbles.

“Still! I wanted to celebrate you coming back!” Glimmer whines. “I was going to put up a banner and everything!”

“That’s kind of the reason I didn’t tell you,” Adora says, stretching her fingers one by one. “I just want things to go back to normal.”

Glimmer softens, putting a gentle hand on Adora’s shoulder. “You should have just said so.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you.” She claps her hands. “Now come on, you have history first period, right?”

Sighing, Adora gives up on her pre-planned route as she tries to keep up with her friend.

-----

“Hey, blondie!” Huntara calls as she wheels into her office. “How’ve you been?”

“Good,” Adora replies in her best impression of someone who isn’t totally out of breath. For a physical therapist's office, there sure are a lot of long ass hallways.

“She went back to school today,” Mara explains. “She’s exhausted.”

“Mom!”

“Hey, you can lie to me all you want but you aren’t allowed to lie to your doctors.”

“I can lie to you?”

“That’s- you know that is not what I meant!”

“C’mon, kid, give your poor mom a break. How have you been getting on with your home practice?”

Her mom wasn’t wrong; she practically had to carry her into the car when she came to pick her up. If Adora had accepted some of the help she was offered, then she wouldn’t have been wheeling herself all day and her arms wouldn’t feel like cooked noodles right now, but she didn’t want it to become habit. She felt like if she had accepted help on the first day, then she wouldn’t even try the next.

It makes sense, to Adora at least, but when she explains it to Huntara, she seems to disagree.

“That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard,” Huntara deadpans.

“Isn’t your whole thing helping me get my independence back or whatever!” Adora exclaims.

“Yeah, but you aren’t going to make yourself better by constantly pushing past your limits. If you go too hard too fast, you’re going to do some real damage, blondie.” Huntara starts helping her with her stretches. “If your sparkly friends want to help, then let them.”

“Sparkly?”

“Their names are Glitter and Boy, aren’t they?”

“Glimmer and Bow.”

“That’s what I said.”

“No, it’s- whatever. So, what, I’m just supposed to let them push me wherever?”

“I didn’t mean it like that – try to keep your hips straight, there you go – I’m not saying you should be a doormat. If you need help then let people help, but if someone starts to take you somewhere without you asking them to, I want you to punch them in the nuts.”

“What?!”

“Just make sure you keep your thumb on the outside, like this.” Huntara demonstrates a perfect junk-punching fist. “I don’t want to be responsible for you breaking anything.”

“On someone’s…”

“On anything. It’s kind of against the whole ‘do no harm’ thing.”

“Stupid oath,” Adora jokes, out of breath as Huntara finally lets her legs down.

“You’re telling me,” Huntara laughs. “Now I have some new exercises I want to show you.”

By the time Huntara is done with her, Mara has to do all the heavy lifting to get Adora back into the car. She’d be embarrassed by all of the people watching as Mara leans over and buckles her seatbelt for her, but she just can’t find it in herself to care.

“I have a proposal,” Mara says as she slides into her seat. “I buy us milkshakes and you be honest about your day, deal?”

“Bribery? Your mother would be so disappointed.”

“My mother gave you a half a key lime pie last week so that you’d stop trying to help with the dishes,” Mara points out.

“I was just trying to be useful!”

“I know, sweetheart, but you almost broke that plate with the French hiker on it and you know how much she loves that ugly thing.” Mara’s shoulders shake with quiet laughter. “So, are you going to take my offer or rat me out to my mother?”

“I could go for milkshakes.”

“That’s my girl.”

The milkshake place isn’t too far from Huntara’s office, so the drive is blessedly short. Mara runs inside to grab the milkshakes to go, and returns in less than two minutes, stabbing the straw through the lid to hand it to Adora.

“Milkshake for your thoughts?” Mara asks.

“What?” Adora asks, mouth half full of sweet, sweet vanilla-ry goodness.

“It’s like penny for your thoughts but with milk- you know what, never mind. Tell me about your day.”

“It was fine.”

“Adora!”

“No, really, it was fine!” Adora insists, “I mean it was exhausting and I’m so behind I don’t know how I’m ever gonna catch up, but it was good to feel normal again, even if everyone was a little weird.”

“Weird in what way?”

“Just like they were walking on eggshells, you know?” Adora takes another sip. “The only person who was normal was…”

“Am I supposed to guess?”

“Catra.”

“Catra?!” Mara’s milkshake spills from its cup, splashing against the dash and dripping onto the floor. She fumbles for the tissues she keeps in the glove box, succeeding only in making a bigger mess for herself as she smears the sticky liquid around.

“Yes, Catra.”

“I thought you and Catra weren’t friends anymore?”

“We aren’t,” Adora replies sadly, “but Casta made her my peer tutor or whatever to help me catch up.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Well, it bummed me out at first, but then she was just… Catra. She teased me and was all irritated and she didn’t treat me any different than before.” Adora thinks for a moment. “Except when she said that she was glad I didn’t die.”

“That’s… nice, I think.”

“I mean she called me a moron right after.”

“She has such a way with words,” Mara jokes. “So, I take it you’re going back tomorrow?”

“Is that even a question?”

“I had hoped you’d be a little less stubborn.”

“Stubborn is my middle name.”

“That’s not always a good thing, you know,” Mara says earnestly. “Can you at least promise you’ll take it easy?”

“I think Huntara might kill me if I don’t.” Adora reaches over and grips Mara’s hand as tight as she can manage. “I promise.”

Chapter Text

Mara insists that Adora go right to bed once they get home, which is honestly fine by her. They’ve gotten her evening routine down to a science (despite Adora hating the fact that she needs help with it at all), so twenty minutes after she gets home, Adora is in bed, making a start on her homework. She just starts to make sense of an equation when Razz putters in and heads for her closet.

“Aren’t you supposed to be resting?”

“I’m in bed, aren’t I?” Adora doesn’t look up from her screen.

“Resting means resting the mind too, dearie.”

“I don’t have time to rest my mind.”

“Nonsense! You have all the time in the world!” Razz insists, riffling through Adora’s drawers.

“Not if I want to graduate on- what are you doing?”

“I made soup,” she replies, “I need my ladle.”

“Razz this is my room now, remember?”

“Of course I remember! Silly girl! I left it in here the other day when I was watering the plants.”

“In my underwear drawer?”

“Exactly!” Razz exclaims, ladle in hand. “You need my soup.”

“I’m not hungry.” The lie feels foreign in Adora’s mouth; she’s never not hungry.

“You’re always hungry. Wait there.”

Razz scurries off before Adora can mumble a quiet, “not like I can go anywhere.” She tries to keep going with her homework, but she can’t remember where she was, or focus with the ruckus Razz is making in the kitchen. Giving up, Adora lets her head drop back onto her pillow and sighs.

Her grandmother has always been a little scatter-brained. She calls her Mara more than she does her actual name, and she’s always been at least a little cooky. But, since the accident, she’s been… Adora isn’t sure if there’s a word for it but Razz sure as hell wasn’t putting ladles in underwear drawers before all of this. Still, though she won’t admit it most of the time, Adora wouldn’t have her any other way. She can’t imagine having a Nana who doesn’t yell at an imaginary dude called Lookie who she insists is just hiding.

Right now, though, she just wants to be left alone.

“Sit up dearie,” Razz calls, sliding a bowl in front of Adora. Making no attempt to be subtle, she snatches the laptop and puts it way out of Adora’s reach.

Adora thinks of those movies where the main character is stood on top of something tall and the camera moves so that the drop looks ten times bigger as they panic over whatever it is they are about to do. Usually, they’re about to zipline between buildings, or scale down to a floor below, or something equally insane. Adora understands. Maybe not the whole standing over the abyss thing, but the impossibility. And all over a fucking spoon.

Adora shakes her head as she clumsily picks up the stupid utensil, almost laughing at the ridiculous comparison. Grip strength has been Adora’s mortal enemy since starting occupational therapy. It’s weird, really. Pushing herself in her wheelchair is fine, big movements are easy, but a spoon? Basically impossible. Getting her fingers to comply is a fight every single time.

If she’s being honest, it’s the most infuriating thing about everything. Everything sucks, sure, and she’d kill to be back to normal but, fuck, she can’t even use a pen. Even typing is hard. If a wizard came to her tomorrow and promised to magically heal one thing, it would be her stupid fingers.

She manages to grip the spoon in a pretty stable grip and scoops up some soup. Razz watches her intently as she brings it to her lips, or rather, as she tries to. Somewhere in the  movement her grip fails and the spoon falls, dropping the utensil and its contents down her shirt.

“God fucking dammit!” Adora yells, swiping the spoon off of her bed as she holds back tears.

“Oh, Adora,” Razz sighs, putting Adora’s tray to the side, “you did so well.”

“I made a mess is what I did.”

“Nonsense, watch.” Razz whistles loudly and heavy footsteps thud into the room. “Swift Wind, have some soup.”

The golden retriever leaps onto the bed before Adora can protest, and ignores her indignation as he starts to clean up the spilled food.

“See, its fine. ”

“It’s not,” Adora mumbles.

Razz grabs her handkerchief and wipes away the soup that splashed on Adora’s neck.

“Nothing that can’t be fixed!”

“That’s not…” Adora sighs, finally letting the tears fall. “What if I can’t be fixed?”

By the look on her Nana’s face, if a broom were within arm’s reach, Adora knows she would be dodging it right now. Luckily for Adora, Razz instead picks up the spoon and leaves the room, followed closely by Swifty, while muttering to herself in that way she does when she is particularly peeved. After a moment, she returns, wrapping the handle of the spoon with a napkin.

“You aren’t broken, dearie,” She says softly, handing the wrapped spoon to her granddaughter. “Just different.”

It isn’t a miracle cure or anything, but the thicker handle makes it much easier to eat with. She doesn’t think she could get many precise movements out of it, but it’s good enough for dinner, and for now, that’s enough.

“You just needed some help, dearie.”

“I don’t want to need help,” Adora whines quietly.

“Oh, Adora,” Razz sighs. “Always in such a rush. I will never understand why. You have all the time in the world.”

“You keep saying that.”

“It keeps being true.” Razz moves the crockery to the side and runs her thumb over Adora’s cheek. “That was a little trick that Broom showed me, from when his arthritis was bad. You know, you’re just like him. He never wanted help, except when he was trying to learn how to play badminton, then all he wanted was help…”

Razz tells stories about her husband until Adora’s heavy eyes fall, and a little way past when she notices the soft snore in her granddaughter’s chest. She fixes her blanket and drops a kiss on her hand before creeping quietly out of her room.

*****

Having watched the Etheria High Cheer Squad in the past, Adora didn’t know why she was so surprised when she walked into her first practice and saw some girl being tossed across the room. She landed gracefully in the arms of her teammates, and they launched into the next part of their routine as if it was nothing. If Adora didn’t know she was gay before, she sure as hell did then.

Spotting a group of equally bewildered students, Adora figured they were her fellow freshmen and headed over to mingle.

“Adora, right?” A voice asked.

“That’s me,” She replied, as she turned to face the guy who just spoke to her.

“I’m Bow, we’re in the same math class, I think.” He smiled. “So obviously we have to be friends.”

“Obviously,” Adora laughed.

“Come on, let me introduce you to the rest of the gang!”

After a flurry of introductions and far too many names in such a short space of time, the head cheerleader called for everyone to huddle up.

“Hi everyone! For those of you who were here last year, it's great to see you again, and for those of you just joining us, welcome! I’m Starla, and I’m sure you’ll all get to know each other, but for now I think it's about time we showed you guys the ropes!”

Luckily for Adora, they didn’t start the newbies on any of the complicated stuff right away. They went through a whole bunch of stretches that convinced Adora that she had abnormally short muscles, and then learned a few basics before practice was out.

“I don’t think I can feel my toes,” Glimmer whined. “Why did we have to do so much on the first day?”

“What did you expect? You walked in and half of the team was doing the splits,” Mermista drawled.

“I don’t know! I thought we would just be meeting everyone, maybe throwing around a pompom or something.”

“Well I actually enjoyed the stretches,” Perfuma smiled, “I start my day with a balancing yoga routine and I find that it centres me and improves my core strength, I’ll make a group chat and send you the details!”

“Of course you liked the stretches,” Glimmer seethed, “You’ve been doing yoga since you were in utero!”

“O-kay!” Bow yelled, his voice cracking a little. “Why don’t we go out and celebrate surviving our first practice? Anyone for ice cream?”

Adora couldn’t hold back her laughter as the group argued over where to eat, as if they had been friends for years, not hours. She almost didn’t notice the worry in the back of her mind, the little nagging feeling that she was missing something. Catra had been part of her for so long, doing anything without her felt odd.

Regardless, she followed her new friends.

*****

Finding a healthy balance between accepting help and giving away her autonomy is harder than Adora thought it would be. Everything is harder than I thought it would be, Adora laments. Her friends, though well intentioned, are just too… helpful. As soon as she gives the go ahead for Glimmer to take her to their first class of the day, she sends Bow ahead of them to ‘clear a path’ like it’s the world's most boring parade. Adora’s caught between gratitude and irritation as she explains for the fifth time that she doesn’t need to be coddled.

It's probably the novelty, Adora thinks, they’ll get tired of it soon.

“… so what do you think, Adora?” Glimmer asks, snapping her out of her stupor.  

“Sorry, what were we talking about?”

“Prom! Obviously!” Bow cuts in. “This year's theme is fairytales!”

“The whole cheer squad is going, and we’re trying to match at least one colour, but Sea Hawk is being dramatic about his bandana so it’s hard. But I think we could probably make all of this.” Glimmer gestures vaguely at Adora’s chair, “work. I’m thinking we can get some coloured streamers and weave them into your… wheel sticks.”

“Spokes,” Bow provides.

“Spokes! Right! And we can bedazzle the arm rests so that everything matches your dress!”

“No,” Adora says.

“Or suit. A suit would probably be better anyway, it won’t get caught or anything.”

“No,” Adora repeats. “I’m not going to prom.”

“Why not? It’s our last prom, you can’t miss it! Besides, the whole team will be there.”

“I’m not on the team anymore,” Adora snaps. “Can we just drop it?”

Glimmer and Bow exchange a look, but ultimately let it go. Honestly, Adora can’t imagine anything worse than being shoved in some corner of the sweaty gym, watching as everyone dances on the floor she almost died on. She thinks back to proms of years past, how excited they’d all get (except for that one year when Bow and Perfuma went together; now that was messy). Her Nana definitely has an album somewhere of the thousands of prom pictures they’d taken over the past four years. Sure, it would be a little sad that the album would be forever unfinished, but being a sentient lawn gnome watching everyone else have a good time is just out of the question.

Plus, her new vantage point puts her at approximately ass height, and a girl has suffered enough; she doesn’t need dance farts to be the thing that finally takes her out.

*****

As she rolls into her chemistry classroom, Adora wonders how she kept it all together yesterday. Even with her friends pushing her when she’s tired (which is far too often for her liking) her arms feel like cooked noodles. She keeps telling herself it’s because she’s still sore from yesterday, but she’s still a little worried that at some point her mom will put her foot down and make her stay home from school. But her last class of the day, chemistry, is the only class she doesn’t share with any of her friends, so she has to push through it for now.

Weaver is the one teacher she’s unsure about. She has a good read on most of her other teachers, having been in their classes for almost four years now, but Ms Weaver has never been any kind of predictable (or pleasant) so Adora really doesn’t know what to expect when she enters the classroom.

Though, Ms Weaver is not the one standing at the front of the class. Instead, some sub Adora barely recognises is messing with the projector. The rest of the class is already sat, mostly chatting amongst themselves whilst they wait. Fortunately, the teacher doesn’t seem to notice Adora’s tardiness. Unfortunately, said tardiness means that there is only one space left, and it’s next to-

“You have got to be kidding me,” Catra gripes.

“Thanks, Catra, you really have a way of making a girl feel special. Can you move that chair for me?”

“Is there nowhere-“

“Trust me, if there was, I would be there. Getting insulted by you is not my idea of a fun time.”

“I wasn’t-“

“Ah! We have power!” The sub yells triumphantly. “Thank you for your patience, class! Let's begin.”

Class passes by in a flurry of diagrams and equations and most of it flies directly over Adora’s head. Chemistry has been the bane of her existence since freshman year, so she’s kind of glad, in a weird way, that she still has no idea what any of it means. There’s a little comfort in knowing that not everything has changed, she supposes.

The bell rings and the class begins to filter out, leaving just Catra and Adora.

“So,” Adora says awkwardly. “Library?”

“That’s what I said yesterday, isn’t it?”

In lieu of a response, Adora wheels herself out of the room, assuming Catra will follow.  Her arms burn with the effort, reminding her that she’s supposed to be accepting help, but this time she ignores it. It’s one thing letting her friends push her, but Catra ? Her feelings on Catra are far too complicated to summarise into a single word, but if it were simpler that word sure as hell wouldn’t be ‘friend’.

Adora is unsure if it ever was.

Catra seems content to let Adora do her thing, simply holding open doors when necessary, waving off Adora’s mumbled thanks until she stops giving them. They reach the library at 3:02 pm and Adora thinks about joking about her tardiness, telling Catra that she was late and is off the hook. But she doesn’t, it feels too… well it doesn’t feel right.

“We have a quiz coming up in bio, do you want to start there?” Catra asks as she moves the extra chair out of Adora’s way. The action makes Adora’s heart do… something. Weird.

“Uh, sure. That works.”

Catra talks her through the topics at a dizzying pace. Trying to make notes is basically impossible; by the time her hands comply enough to type something Catra has already moved on. Adora’s eyes gloss over as her frustration builds. Soon, she can barely hear Catra speak, instead trying to not punch the backspace key after another typo.

“Earth to Adora?” Catra pokes her forehead, face dropping a little when she notices Adora’s unshed tears. “You good?”

“No,” Adora replies simply, wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m so stupid. I don’t know why I-“

Cutting herself off with a sob, Adora buries her head in her arms. For the millionth time, something that should be easy just isn’t anymore, and she’s sick of it.  

“Stop it.”

“What?” Adora asks incredulously as she picks her head up off the table.

“Stop it,” Catra repeats, shoving a tissue in Adora’s hand. “You aren’t stupid; you’re spiralling. This obviously isn’t going to work this way, so let’s try something else.”

“I can’t. ”

“You can,” Catra insists. “Do you trust me?”

Hesitantly, she nods her head.

“Okay, good. Wait here, I’ll be back."

Catra saunters off as Adora stares. She dries her eyes and pulls out her phone, content to distract herself with something inane. Swiping away the group chat notifications, Adora dusts off an app she hasn’t touched in years. By the time Catra returns she’s crushed so many candies and the bright colours are starting to give her a headache.

“God, what are you? Fifty?” Catra laughs as she sets a bunch of notebooks down. “You’re worse than Spinnerella.”

“Spinnerella isn’t that old. And what does that have to do with a stupid matching game?”

“Spinny is automatically old because she is my guardian and that’s how it works. And only middle-aged people play that stupid game.”

“It’s not- you know what we’re moving on,” Adora laughs. “What’s with the books?”

“They are my notes. Take them, cherish them, learn from them.”

“Your notes?” Adora repeats sceptically.

“Look, I figured if you don’t have to take notes we can get through more stuff each session.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, dummy, just take the notes and let me explain DNA replication already.”

Adora doesn’t know how to say thank you, so she doesn’t.

Following along with the notes makes room for Adora to actually focus, annoying Catra with a million questions before she understands. When Catra suggests they go through some practice questions, Adora actually feels confident in her ability to answer them. The end of the session rolls around sooner than Adora realises. With some of the awkwardness melted away, it’s a whole lot easier to spend time with Catra now.

They aren’t like they used to be, Adora doesn’t think they’ll ever get back there, but it’s better. Good, even.  

Chapter Text

“I’m never gonna get this,” Adora laments. 

“You already did, babe,” Catra reassures, laying a gentle kiss on her forehead, “you just forgot to carry the one.”

“I did?”

“Yes! Now can we please go? We’re gonna be late!” Catra pulls Adora to her feet and pokes her forehead. “Last one there is a dumb face!”

Adora abandons her books and chases Catra from the library through the labyrinthine halls of the school, almost forgetting her way to the gym. Luckily, she’s tight on Catra’s heels so just has to follow her lead. By the time they burst through the double doors, the whole school is already sat waiting. Catra kisses her gently, offering a quiet “good luck,” before heading to her seat in the crowd. Smoothing out her uniform, Adora steps forward into formation, taking her place in the centre of the stage as her teammates join her. 

The music echoes off the walls and from the moment the routine begins, Adora knows something is wrong. She’s a few beats behind her team and no matter what she tries, she can’t catch up. Suddenly their hands are on her, lifting her high above the stage, pushing her further and further into the air until her cheek is pressed against the steel beam on the ceiling. 

The hands disappear and she tries to grip onto the beam. Her fingers brush air as she falls into darkness.

*****

To say Adora is in a mood would be an understatement. Since she jolted awake this morning, she’s tried her best to put her dream to the back of her mind. So far, she has been unsuccessful, but she hopes the distraction of school will take her mind off the whole thing.

The distraction, as it turns out, comes in the form of a junior Adora has crossed paths with once or twice before.

“You poor thing,” they say sympathetically, “I can’t imagine how difficult this has all been for you.”

“Thanks,” Adora mumbles. “You’re from the drama club, DT right?”

“In the flesh,” they say with a flourish. “So, the rumour is that you broke your back, but I’ve never been one for gossip.”

“That’s not really a rumour,” Adora replies tersely, shifting a little in her chair. 

“So, you’re saying it’s true?”

“I’m saying that for someone who just said they’re so against gossip, you’re very…” She waves her hand noncommittally, “gossipy.”

“Oh, darling, I’m not gossiping, I’m trying to do you a favour. You wouldn’t want lies spread around now, would you?”

“Honestly, I don’t care.”

“Goodness, not very cheerful now, are we?”

“Not a cheerleader anymore.”

“How tragic,” they croon. “Well, on behalf of the drama club, I just wanted to extend my condolences, and wish you a speedy recovery.”

“Thanks, I guess.” 

Adora rolls away before they can say anything more, speeding around a corner and out of sight. She is half-way to her old locker before she remembers she has a new locker now and turns around. Putting in the combination is more of a hassle than Adora is willing to admit, but eventually she gets into the damn thing. Tears spring to her eyes when she opens the door and sees a picture staring back at her.

Way back at the start of the year, she had been so proud of herself for setting up her locker just so. Everything had its place, and it was full of the little things she would always forget to bring. Importantly, the door was covered in pictures from the years before. Cheer practice, shots from competitions, Polaroids Bow had insisted on taking whenever they would hang out somewhere even remotely picturesque. She hadn’t realised she missed it all until it was back.

“Do you like it?” Adora startles at Glimmers voice behind her, before spinning around and pulling her into a hug.

“It’s perfect,” she whispers. “I didn’t even…”

“Well you wouldn’t shut up about it in October so I figured you’d want it all back,” Glimmer explains. “Plus, there’s a weird stain on the door and aunt Casta wouldn’t give me permission to paint over it.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Adora insists.

“No, but I wanted to.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Glimmer replies, finally pulling back from the hug. “Hurry up and grab your stuff! We can’t keep being late to history, no matter how much Mr Archer likes us.”

A retort dies on Adora’s tongue as she takes in Glimmer’s outfit. Or rather, her uniform. It’s Friday, Adora thinks dumbly, why am I surprised. Cheerleaders always wear their uniforms on Fridays because it’s game day, and changing is always too much of a hassle. Adora always felt a little weird about it; somehow it felt like a brag. Besides, that short skirt does not do anyone sitting on the hard plastic seats in the cafeteria any favours. 

Seeing Glimmer now, though, in the familiar pinks and purples of the Etheria High cheer team, the uniform that she will never wear again… It hurts. 

“I’ll catch up,” Adora croaks.

“Are you okay?” Glimmer asks, the smile dropping from her face.

“Yeah,” Adora replies unconvincingly. “I just have to…”

A million excuses run through her head as she trails off, but she pushes them down. She’s tired of every little thing setting her off. She isn’t a cheerleader anymore, and she never will be. The best she can hope for is to actually walk at graduation, and even that simple goal feels impossible these days. It’s just a uniform, she tells herself, quit being such a baby.

“Forget it, let’s go.”

*****

By lunch, Adora stops cringing every time she sees a member of the cheer squad. It’s not exactly a ringing endorsement, but it’s better than feeling like someone is dropping a bucket of ice on you every time you see one of your friends.

The cafeteria is bustling, kids talking excitedly over one another as they eat. Sea Hawk is trailing behind Mermista, two lunch trays in hand, with a face like a kicked puppy.

“Mermista, dearest, I would sooner let the waves take me than curb my enthusiasm!”

“Ugh,” Mermista groans. “Why are you always so intense?”

“My heart is alight with the flames of passion!” Sea Hawk exclaims, hefting a tray in the air, barely keeping its contents balanced. “To ask me to douse the fire would be akin to you asking me to cut off my hand!”

“You are so embarrassing,” Mermista drawls, taking her tray.

“There’s nothing embarrassing about sharing your feelings,” Perfuma chimes in. “Love is a magical feeling, of course you would want to tell everyone.”

“You got a secret lover somewhere, ‘Fuma?” Glimmer teases. “Someone to water your bushes?”

“Ew, why would you say that?” Frosta asks as she mimes a gag.

“Actually…”

“You’re kidding!” Bow squeals, “is it someone we know?”

“I bet it’s that quarterback from Krytis High, Perfuma’s always had a soft spot for muscles and they were all over her at the end of the game!” Glimmer stands, excitedly shaking Bow.

“Oh Perfuma,” he mimes dramatically in what Adora can only assume is a terrible impression, “I could not possibly go on without a shoulder rub from a beautiful maiden!”

“They had knots!” Perfuma insists, “I wasn’t going to leave him in pain!”

“You didn’t have to oil them up in the middle of the field!”

“First of all, never imply that I should massage without oils ever again. Second of all, they aren’t who I have been seeing.” Perfuma sits back, twirling a strand of hair around her finger as she stares wistfully into the distance.

“You. Are. Killing. Me!” Frosta whines. “Just tell us who it is already!”

“Oh, no. I don’t think I will.”

The table erupts into loud protests and admonishments. Adora backs up a little, out of the path of stray elbows and flailing hands. Glimmer pauses, a look of concern crossing her face as she mouths a subtle ‘you okay?’ to her friend. Adora nods, a reassuring smile crossing her lips.

“What about all that ‘love is a magical feeling’ crap?” Mermista asks.

“Love is a magical feeling; I just want to keep it between her and I for now.”

“So it’s a her?” Glimmer asks. 

Despite Perfuma’s objections, the group focuses on trying to find her new beau, debating animatedly about her chemistry with any person she has spoken to in the last month. Sea Hawk is halfway through a monologue about the romanticism of a fleeting touch when the bell rings. Everyone is still chattering when they split up, headed for their respective classes. 

“I have missed your presence in study hall, Adora,” Perfuma says as they walk. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lovely group, but you have a very bright aura, and it passes the time a lot faster.”

“Thanks Perfuma. I like your… aura too.” Adora never knows what to say when Perfuma starts talking about auras and star charts, so she tries to steer the conversation in another direction. “I’m glad you’ve found someone, even if you don’t want to tell us who it is.”

“Me too,” she sighs, “but the beginning of a relationship is like a delicate flower, and I’m worried that if the balance is disrupted it will all come crumbling down, you know?”

No. She does not know. 

“Sure, I get it.”

Adora survives a grand total of seven minutes in study hall before she realises, she left one of her books at home. She’s sure there are copies in the library, so she gets a hall pass and heads over. Perfuma offers to go with her, but Adora waves her off. She likes the peace of the empty halls.

It’s been a while since Adora was in the library during a study hall, so she’s surprised at how many kids are in there at first. She’s grateful, honestly, because she can go pretty much unnoticed through the stacks. It doesn’t take long to find the right section, and blessedly the book she needs is at her height.

“You’re sure she has no idea?” Bow asks nervously from the other side of the bookshelf. Adora gently pushes the book she had grabbed back and ducks down a little, trying to stay out of sight.

“Absolutely! We just need to keep her away from Sea Hawk - that boy cannot keep his mouth shut.”

“We’re lucky the Perfuma thing happened, I am not good with secrets!”

“Pull yourself together! We still have another class with her before we cheer!” Glimmer grips him by the shoulders. “Do not ruin this now!”

“I’m trying!” Bow squeaks. “It’s just a really cool routine, and you know how much I love to talk about technique!”

“You can do that for as long as you want after the performance!” She insists. “She’ll be all, ‘Oh, Bow, you’re such a good choreographer! I can’t believe you designed a whole routine just for me!’”

Adora tightens her grip on her wheels, frozen in place.

“You’re right,” Bow says. “It’s just one more class.”

“You can do this.”

“I can do this.”

The pair shuffle away, leaving their eavesdropper in the dead silence of the library stacks. It takes a few seconds for Adora to unclench her fists, and another few to realise that she is holding her breath. Letting out a slow exhale, she backs slowly out of the library, the book forgotten. How she hadn’t connected the dots between the uniform and the fact that her old team would actually be cheering, Adora has no idea, but the thought of it makes her stomach turn.

Paying no attention, Adora spins around and speeds to the exit, knocking a cart of books over as she goes. She ignores the calls of the librarian, and the confused questions from her friends as she squeezes through the slowest automatic door on the planet and careens down the hall at a speed her physical therapist will scold her for later.

Once she is out of sight of the library, she pulls out her phone, foregoing the fight with her fingers on the tiny keys with the voice control function. It takes a few tries to get the damn thing to recognise her request, but eventually, the phone is dialling.

“Adora? Are you okay?” Her mom’s voice rings out.

“I’m safe,” she promises, “can you pick me up?”

“I’ll be there in ten.” Adora can hear keys jingling already. “What happened?”

“I can’t- um – not…” Adora takes a shuddering breath. “Can I tell you later?”

“Of course. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?” 

Footsteps echo across the hall, headed towards her. Adora can’t think of anything more embarrassing than crying down the phone to her mom, so she rushes to end the call.

“No, I’ll see you soon.”

The footsteps round the corner, stopping in front of Adora as she tries to shove her phone in her backpack.

“Adora,” Castaspella says evenly, “would you join me in my office?”

Adora nods, quietly grateful that it was the principal who found her instead of literally anyone else as she follows her to her office. It’s all she can do to not cry, and it’s not working all that well judging by the speed at which the kid who walks past them turns to look literally anywhere else. As Casta closes the door to her office behind them, she expects to break, for the pressure in her chest to get so tight that she bursts. It doesn’t, though, it just sits there like an uncomfortable parasite.

“Do you need me to call your mother?”

“She’s already on her way,” Adora mumbles, focused more on breathing than conversation. “Is that okay?”

“Absolutely,” Casta says in an awkwardly cheerful voice. “I’ve been meaning to give her the things from your old locker, so I shall walk you out.”

 The wait for her mother to arrive is (blessedly) silent, and Casta doesn’t trap them in one of her usual one sided conversations as she hands over the box of Adora’s things. It isn’t until she and her mom are alone, driving out of the visitor parking lot that she crumbles.

Mara turns down a quiet street and pulls over, wrapping an arm around Adora to pull her close to wipe her tears.

“I’m not a cheerleader anymore,” Adora sobs.

“I know,” Mara whispers. “But you still mean the world to me.”